Not One For The Diary
by hannahncakes
Summary: Because not every moment with the Doctor is visiting a new planet, fighting for your life or saving the world. Sometimes it's just the two of them doing things far more important. These things you can't even write, you have to just live them.
1. Thursdays

Not One For The Diary

Memory One: Thursdays

**Disclaimer:** The Doctor and River do not belong to me. It's very sad but I'm trying to get over it.

**_[also a big thank you to _**Randomcat1832 **_ for making the lovely cover image for me.]_**

**_Author's note: Hello there, gentle reader. Just to let you know that this story was started many years ago now & therefore some parts may be slightly AU now but if you stick with it to the end it'll catch up to present-day events. This is a series of short drabbley moments that don't make it into River's diary- they're not in any particular order just as they come to me. Enjoy…_**

River snaked her arm around The Doctor, pressing herself close to him as he fiddled impatiently with the TARDIS controls. He was bored and looking for something to do, for an adventure to have.

"Sweetie…" She whispered seductively as she lifted herself onto the balls of her feet and kissed his neck slowly. She felt him shudder as he tilted his head away and cleared his throat slightly, trying to pretend he wasn't affected by her close proximity and the things she does so well to him. S_o, this is still new for him,_ River thought, _this is going to be fun._

"Yes, River?" The Doctor replied with a slight tone of annoyance in his voice. Couldn't she see he was doing something very important and clever?

"I've got an idea what we could do today." She muttered as her hands danced across his chest enjoying the variety of small gasps she picked up as her skin touched his through the buttons on his shirt.

"There is nothing to do today. Today is Thursday and you know how I feel about Thursdays so I'm trying to find us somewhere fun to go where there are interesting things going on and it's very… non-Thursday…ey." He finished lamely. He was more preoccupied with trying to keep any logical train of thought going while River assaulted his body with hers. She kept kissing him lightly and touching him so softly it was making both his hearts race faster than he knew was possible. She had an uncontrollable effect on him and he hated the fact that she knew it far too well.

"I bet I can make you forget what day of the week it is." She promised with a small laugh.

"But urm… there are people out there who need me River, we haven't got time to-"

"Time machine." She stated simply as she placed one hand on his shoulder and spun him quickly so he was facing her. He gulped as he took in every detail of the woman stood in front of him. Her dress was exceptionally low-cut and clung on every inch of skin that he'd been dying to explore for so long now. "Plus," she whispered as she pulled his face back up from her cleavage to meet her eyes "I need you." She gave him a small smile and he saw the softness shine through. Beneath the flirting, beneath the teasing he saw the unconditional love that she always had for him that he didn't know how he deserved. That look broke his resolve.

"Fine. Fine. I give in. Do with me as you will Dr Song." He smiled as she leaned forward and ran her fingers through his hair, placing a gentle kiss on his lips as she did.

"You always do. And I always do." She raised her eyebrow suggestively. "That's why I married you."

"Oh you old romantic River." She let out her trademark laugh as she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her and together they crashed onto the floor laughing, kissing and forgetting about the world outside of those blue doors.


	2. Your Doctor

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory Two: Your Doctor. 

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own anything. Let's not talk about it any more.

_**Author's Note: For clarification this is Eleven Doctor and a slightly younger River talking. Enjoy... **_

"Can I ask you a question River?" The Doctor asked as he propped himself up on his arm and turned to face River as she lay under the covers of his bed. Her hair lay fanned out behind her in the only kind of halo she'd ever wear. Her eyes were half closed and she wore that satisfied smile she always had after they'd made love.

"Of course you can sweetie." She smiled up at him. "I can't promise I'll be able to answer it but ask away."

"I'm being serious River." He pleaded.

"Oh not serious. I do hate serious. Whatever's happened?" She asked, half joking and half concerned.

"Nothing's _happened._" He snapped and immediately regretted it. Why did she have to be such hard work? "I just need to know something."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm being serious. Look, this is my serious face." She looked him in the eye and sucked her cheeks in to hide any trace of a smile that could have crept onto her face. She nodded at him to continue and she looked so innocent, like she was trying so hard to please him, that he grinned instinctively and pulled her close into a deep kiss. She sighed into him and wriggled herself closer to him to feel her skin on his. He automatically placed his free hand into her hair and wanted to lose himself in her, the touch and smell of her, so badly and to forget he ever brought up the stupid question but he knew he couldn't. He had to know. Reluctantly he pulled away and, without opening his eyes, lent into her ear to whisper.

"Am I your Doctor?" He breathed softly and then he felt her suddenly recoil before he'd even opened his eyes and he knew she was waiting for him to open them before she responded. And he'd put money on the fact she'd have her angry face on. Gingerly he opened one eye. Yep. Angry face.

"What, you think I'm having an affair with a chiropractor now?" She snapped. She joked about other men, sure, past boyfriends especially, but surely by now he should know how she felt. Did she have to spell it out for this stupid man?

"I didn't mean that!" He blurted out quickly as he ran his hand through his hair. Everything was going wrong. "I know **I'm** your Doctor" he tapped at his chest to indicate something deeper within "but I mean… is it me?" He waved a hand circling his face trying to convey his intentions when words were deserting him. How could he explain his fear? It seemed so stupid, even to him… especially to him. After all they'd been through he was worried still. Worried that all the time they were making love, that all the longing looks she'd ever given him and all the times she'd told him how much she cared for him, trusted him, that it was all for a version of himself he'd not yet become. He was jealous of himself and it was ridiculous. Stupidly and impossibly preposterous and yet so very painful to contemplate.

"Oh sweetie." She reached out and stroked his face gently and he leaned into her touch, bracing himself for the fact it could all change after this. "I love you." His eyes flew to her face. The implication had been there so many times before but those words, those three words, had never before fallen from her lips. She smiled, almost shyly, at the look of awe on his face. "I love every face you've ever had and ever will have." She saw his smile fade slightly at those words and hurried on. "But **my** doctor? My doctor wears a bowtie." She grinned broadly as she felt him release the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "My doctor thinks fezes are cool. My doctor dances at weddings. My doctor is the most impossibly brilliant and utterly scatty man I have ever met in my life. My darling, my doctor, it's always been you."

**Please review or The Doctor will be sad :)**


	3. Hello, Sweetie

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory three: Hello, Sweetie.

**Disclaimer: **I own all of the doctor who world and am very rich and profit from it. Lolz jk etc.

_**Author's Note: Wow, these won't stop coming today. I'm officially obsessed and my essay writing is suffering severely as a result. Once again this is eleven but a much younger River in this scene. I really got captivated by this idea so please let me know if you think it works or not. Enjoy…**_

"River?" The Doctor called as he ran down the beach glancing from side to side furiously for any trace of his future wife. Or past wife, depending on which River he was coming to rescue. He knew this was a rescue mission for sure. Not subtle graffiti, no teasing information, just **HELP** scrawled across his psychic paper with the date, time and coordinates. No hello sweetie, no nothing- that's how he knew she was in trouble. Big trouble. "RIVER!" He shouted even louder as he pumped his arms faster and began sprinting towards a shape he could vaguely make out slumped at the water's edge in the distance.

He came crashing to a halt in front of the body and felt the wind knocked out of him, not from the effort of running but from the sight that assaulted his eyes as he stopped. River, his River, lay face down on the sand. She wasn't moving and the sea lapping around her was stained that rusty colour of blood that made his hearts stop. Holding his breath and praying to every being in the universe he gently turned her over and examined her. He crouched low beside her and put his hand to her wrist and his ear to her mouth. She was breathing, she was beating in the right places but only just. She had a nasty gash that ran the length of the right side of her stomach and the colour seemed to have drained out of her.

"Oh what's happened to you River?" He whispered as he scooped her up gently. She had no gun in her hand and only the sonic paper she'd scrawled her message to him on lay against her chest. "I'll fix you River, I promise." He took off with her as fast as he could without damaging her any further, all the time glancing around for any signs of whatever had attacked her.

It felt like a lifetime until they finally reached the TARDIS but once they did he practically kicked the door down in his hurry to get her inside: get her safe. He laid her gently on the floor and placed his jacket across her before planting a quick kiss on her forehead before running to a trunk, wrenching it open and throwing things out of it- obviously looking for something specific.

"Sonic screwdriver…no, sonic pen… no" He muttered, throwing each disregarded object over his shoulder as he plucked them out. "Sonic plug… no. Why is everything I own sonic, damn it? I can't sonic her better… or can I?" He paused in thought for a moment. "No! Something regenerate-y… come on!" He sifted through a few more items before pulling out, with a loud _Aha!_ as he did, a small bottle that shimmered a golden colour. He ran quickly over to her and began to tend to the wound with the little liquid that was in his bottle.

"Not much." He muttered as he rubbed it quickly into her wound. "Please be enough." He softly lifted her head onto his lap as he watched the wound heal slightly in front of his eyes. After what felt like a lifetime he prised his gaze away and stared at her face, still so grey and lifeless. "Come on River, wake up. Wake up now. I need you to tell me off for being late. I need you to tell me I got the coordinates wrong and parked her too far away. If you wake up I'll let you fly her home and I won't interfere at all." _Well, not much_ he added silently as he pleaded with the unconscious girl lying across him. "You have no idea how much I want you to wake up and grin at me and call me sweetie." He choked on his emotion as he thought of never hearing her utter those words again.

"Sweetie?" River murmured sleepily as her eyelids fluttered ever so slightly. The doctor gasped and grinned as he grabbed at her clammy hand. "Why would I call you sweetie, Doctor?"

"Oh god. You've lost your mind." The Doctor groaned.

"Hey there's no need to be rude!" River sulked as she attempted to sit back up but winced as the pain hit her and promptly lay back down again. "I can call you sweetie if you want" she said through teeth gritted against the pain "it just seems like a bit of a girly name but obviously you like it-"

"**I **like it? It's you who always… How old are you River?" He asked sharply.

"That's a… "spoiler" isn't it?" She grinned cheekily.

"Ah not that young then." He laughed as he saw the River he knew shining through this patient lying on the floor. He stroked her hair absentmindedly as she relaxed into his touch and he let her bask in the silence for a moment or two before he continued with his next line of questioning. "River…?" He began gently.

"What have I done now?" She asked sharply.

"Nothing, what do you mean?" He asked her with a puzzled look.

"You've got your Miss-River-Song-You've-Broken-The-Rules face on." River stated.

"I do not. This is my normal face." River raised an eyebrow that clearly said _my point exactly_ but the Doctor decided to ignore it this once- she was ill after all. "I just wondered how you got hurt."

"Oh the usual." She shrugged. "Bad guys. Didn't run fast enough." She said it so simply and without concern it made him shudder.

"But where's your gun?" He gasped, trying to comprehend what was going on here.

"Gun?" She wrinkled her brow. "You told me not to have a gun, remember?" He looked at her deeply and felt two powerful forces collide inside him. He thought of her shooting other creatures with that horrible gun of hers but then he thought of her lying on that beach and what would have happened if he'd been a few moments later or she hadn't been able to contact him and he felt his blood run cold. He swallowed the lump that had stuck in his throat.

"Urm yeah about that River, slight change of plan. Guns are fine. For you. No one else though." He clarified.

"Okay…" She grinned slowly. "Always carry a gun. No problem sweetie. Now, you going to help me up? Because I'm sure we've got planets to explore or something." He gently pulled her to her feet and she swayed slightly into his open arms once they were both upright.

"Alright?" He asked her tenderly as he held her close. She nodded quickly, her face set into a fierce resolve. "That's my girl." He muttered softly as he placed a kiss into that wild hair of hers. And it was. His girl.

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	4. You Make Me Do The Craziest Things

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory four: You make me do the craziest things.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Please don't sue.

_**Author's Note: This one captured me again and I hope that people find it's still in character. Once again we're dealing with a younger River (and eleven of course) but I promise I will be exploring older River too because I just love her at all ages. Enjoy…**_

"You. Are. Crazy." The Doctor muttered quietly, shaking his head but at the same time looking quite impressed at just how insane his other half was.

"Oh yeah because travelling through time and space, saving the human race every day- that's completely normal. But suggest we get a tattoo and suddenly **I'm **the crazy one." She rolled her eyes as she linked her arm through the Doctor's and fell into step with him as they wandered down the deserted street.

"I just don't see the point in it." He sighed the sigh of a man who knew the secrets of the human mind and understood none of them. "You humans do the strangest things to your bodies: sticking needles into them, making holes in them, changing the colour of your hair… and for what?"

"Hey, you were the one salivating at the idea of me dying your hair ginger earlier!" River laughed.

"Yes but ginger is cool." He said wistfully as he ran his fingers through his sadly still-brown hair. "What would I even get a picture of?"

"Tattoo. Not picture." She sighed. Sometimes being a twenty three year old girl who'd been in love with a nine hundred odd year old Time Lord for as long as she could remember had its difficulties- and now was one of those times. "And I was thinking you could get something that reminded you of me." She grinned at him and he noticed how young she was once again. Taking her first tentative steps towards being the woman who would be able to control his every thought with a wink.

"Why would I need something to remind me of you River? I could never forget you." He unlocked their arms and pulled her closer into a one-armed hug. "You'd never let me!" he smiled as she half-heartedly slapped at his chest in response.

"I just think it would be really… _cool_." She paused to give him a sly sideways glance to see whether his own wording was swaying him at all. It wasn't. "I just really would like us to get this done. For me? Please?" She stepped quickly in front of him and forced him to stop abruptly to avoid crashing into her. She pulled out the half-pouting smile as she draped her arms around him. "Please?" She whispered and he cursed inwardly. It may be a few years until she could get him to _'heel boy'_, as Amy would put it, with one of her winks but she could all ready make him do **anything** with one of her smiles.

"Okay... But I'm not having a picture of your face or… or _anything_ that contains the word 'sweetie'" He grinned and she laughed and pulled him down the road.

Xoxox

"Let me see it!" River demanded as she pulled open the buttons of his shirt hungrily in front of the tattoo shop they'd just left.

"River. People." He hissed as he grabbed her hands and clasped them together and pulled her backwards down an alley and away from the prying eyes.

"Spoil sport!" She pouted until her hands were released and the Doctor allowed her free reign on his shirt again. Once she him semi-naked she gasped hungrily at the squiggly black marks across the place one of his hearts sat. She squinted at it as she cocked her head from side to side.

"What is it?" She asked inquisitively as she reached out her hand and gently grazed the freshly raised bumps.

"It's Old High Gallifreyan" He stated simply.

"Well as I don't speak… Old High Gallifreyan." She repeated "could I possibly have a Doctor-to-River-Song translation?" She teased him.

"River Song." He purred as she stroked his heart gently.

"Yes, sweetie?" She grinned as she pressed herself closer to him.

"No. That's what it says." He explained. "It says your name in my language across my heart." She tried to catch her breath as she processed the information.

"Really?" She whispered. Her heart felt as if it could burst with happiness as she stared at his face pulling a goofy shy smile. "But why?" She stammered. It had been attention seeking to suggest this little trip in the first place and she'd known it but she just couldn't resist the opportunity to make an imprint on this man. She knew how much he cared. Really, she did, but it didn't take away the tiny seed of doubt that told her this was all too good to be true and that one day, one hideous day, she would receive a blank stare from the man who gazed into her eyes with such intensity that it took her breath away.

"There are reasons." He paused to reach his hand to her hair and tuck it gently behind her ears. This was so early for her and yet she had so much love for him. She'd loved him from the moment she met him and it made him feel so awful. "Many complex reasons that I probably shouldn't tell you." He wrinkled his brow as he contemplated his next move.

"Ahh.. Spoilers." She whispered knowingly as her hands continued to roam his chest hungrily as she moved even closer to him.

"Not so much spoilers but maybe I shouldn't-"

"So don't." She stated simply, looking into his eyes to let him know she understood the rules. She didn't resent the fact he couldn't tell her anything about their past because she was looking forward to experiencing it first for herself.

"I need to though. I need to apologise." He muttered sadly.

"Apologise?" He face filled with confusion. She couldn't picture anything he could ever do or say that would mean he had to apologise to her.

"In the past. Well, my past and your future… I mean when you're older and I'm younger-"

"Thanks for that." She sulked and he smiled at her gently.

"I'll still be a few hundred years older than you, don't worry." He reassured her. "But then, when I first meet you… I don't treat you as I should." An image of the pain on her face when she first realised he didn't know her still haunts him all these meetings later. "I don't trust you or love you as much as I should as quickly as I should. Everything with you should have been so simple and I didn't let it be that way."

"I understand." She nodded. She knew this man, this wonderful man, and how much he'd been through. All the things he'd seen and all the people he'd lost. It was so easy for her to love him completely but the fact that he had to overcome so much more to love her makes it, if anything, more special. She couldn't resent his future self for not instantly falling in love with her or into bed with her or. In fact, she smiled slightly, she looked forward to the challenge of seducing him after always being the girl who had been swept off her feet by a brilliant man. "It's okay." She kissed him gently to confirm this fact.

"It's not. And now I can never change it." He sighed wearily. The curse of the time traveller who couldn't rewrite his own wrongs. "But I want you to remember this moment when you get to that one and remember that this is how I really feel about you." He grabbed one of her still roaming hands and placed it over his heart with his own on top, sealing her name between his skin and hers. "Always." She felt tears well up in her eyes and kissed him quickly and passionately to stop him noticing. Declarations of love from her Doctor were few and far between- usually because they were having far too much fun running for their lives to stop and have in-depth chats about their emotions and she didn't mind that at all but it did mean she had a tendency to get a little bit weepy when he did.

"Anyway. Enough of the mushy stuff." She panted as they broke apart. "You haven't seen my tattoo yet." She whispered with a glint in her eyes that the Doctor knew only too well. "Close your eyes and give me your hand." The Doctor gulped and did as he was told. He felt his hand slide gently up the smooth skin of her leg and under the stupidly mini miniskirt she insisted in wearing. As it came to rest at the very top of her thigh his fingers gingerly moved back and forward discovering the tiny bumps that formed the shape of two small stars. She shuddered as he touched her bare skin with such gentle caresses.

"It was very sore." He jumped as she whispered into his ear seductively. "I think you need to kiss it better."

"Urm River…" He stuttered as his eyes flew open. "Have we… Urm… I mean, for you, have we…" He bit his lip nervously. Damn it, River was so much better at this than him. She always synched their diaries and had such a great grasp of where in each other's timelines they were whereas every time he just blundered in and whisked her off with only her reactions to guide him. He never learnt. And now, suddenly, it was important. He didn't want her first time, their first time together for her, to be like this. He didn't want it to be urgent, to be possessive and filled with desire which was all he would be able to manage as she ground herself against his now stationary hand. He wanted, on that first time, to show her how special she was and how she meant more to him than anyone had. The last thing he wanted was her to think he was the kind of man who shagged her against a wall before jumping back into his space ship.

"Oh don't you worry sweetie." She answered throatily. "We've definitely done this before. I'll let you have that little spoiler." She winked at him slightly and he let out a long sigh.

"Oh thank goodness." He breathed as he pushed her backwards against the wall and crushed her lips with his, hands now beginning to properly explore the beautiful stars he'd admired so often before but never understood the significance of.

**Please review and make me feel less guilty about doing this instead of essays!**


	5. Blue Boringers

Not One For The Diary.

Memory five: Blue Boringers. 

**Disclaimer: **Oh how I wish River was mine. But she's not. They belong to each other and definitely not me.

_**Author's note: Ok, minor nag here. I never thought I would have to state this but if you don't like River a) you're crazy and b) this isn't the story for you. Also if you don't like my writing I am more than happy to receive any criticism but if you could sign in so I can reply I would be grateful. Thanks a million to everyone who has reviewed/favourited/alerted this story you guys are all amazing. Now that the house keeping is over back to the important stuff… This one is a few weeks/maybe a few months after Day Of The Moon for the Doctor's timeline. That's about it really! Enjoy…**_

"Hello sweetie." River muttered her catchphrase quietly as she glanced up over the top of the book she was reading whilst reclining lazily on her bed inside her cell. The Doctor froze as she looked at him, he had clearly had thought he was being very stealthy and that she wouldn't notice him until he was much closer to the bars.

"Ah. Hello. River. Yes." He stammered, trying to regain his composure as he straightened his bowtie nervously. Damn, this woman always caught him off guard.

"So you've finally decided to bust me out of this place have you?" River laughed as she slinked up to the bars that separated them wrapping her hands around them and giving the distinct impression that she could pull them out if she so chose to.

"Urm well, more the opposite actually." The Doctor announced brightly as he pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his top pocket and wiggled it elaborately. "Stand back Doctor Song." He raised one eyebrow as she gazed at him with that _you're-crazy-but-I-love-you-anyway_ look in her eyes and took a few steps away as, with a minor explosion, the lock flew open and he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"So if you're not breaking me out that must mean you're-" she began.

"Breaking myself in, yep." He grinned as he threw a himself clumsily down on her bed and began to fiddle with things on her bedside table- picking them up and examining them closely while trying to ignore the angry stare River was casting him from the other side of the cell where she stood with arms crossed and foot tapping. Apparently a cell for two wasn't her idea of a good night in. Who knew?

"And where exactly are my guards?" She muttered in a low voice.

"They urm… got distracted by my sonic paper. I may have accidentally showed them my sonic paper and they may or may not be preparing the facility under the impression that I'm coming back to do a full inspection any moment." He smiled guiltily.

"You are such a hypocrite! I can't believe you. Doing that after all the stick you give me whenever I want to use the lipstick!" She exclaimed but there was an element of amusement in her voice now and the Doctor knew he'd been let off the hook.

"Well it's dangerous when you can just call on me to come pick you up-"

"There's no danger, I've tested it." River cut across him as she crossed the room to stand beside her Doctor. "And you never answer your phone. And… you can say if you just don't like the idea of me kissing someone else." She laughed as she gently pushed his legs off her bed and onto the floor so she could perch herself down beside him.

"Nothing to do with that." He bustled quickly, trying to ignore the fact that it was very much all about that. About the kissing. Whether it was her kissing someone else, her kissing him or just the fact that she could make him spend a ridiculous amount of time worrying about kissing it bothered him. "You are a free lady who can kiss whoever she wants." He insisted.

"And I only intend to do that when I'm in a situation where I need to break out of this place to save the person I actually want to kiss." She smiled gently at him and nudged him with her shoulder. He tried to hide the relief on his face but as soon as their eyes met he knew she could read him as easily as she'd ever been able to. She could see his brain ticking over and she knew he hadn't just popped in for a cosy chat, no matter what pretence he put up. "So what brings you to my neck of the woods?" She asked casually.

"Oh nothing much." He shrugged as he leaned back against the wall. Silence filled the air but River was in no hurry to break it. She could happily sit there all night while he tried to figure out what he'd come to say. "It's just so boring without you!" He exclaimed suddenly after a few moments. "I mean the Ponds are great fun and we have all kinds of adventures but…" He sighed slightly. He couldn't tell her yet how he felt being without her. He looked at Amy and Rory as they bickered and they laughed and they kissed and all he could think of was that he should be doing things like that with her.

"It's okay, sweetie, I know I'm hard to replace." She joked gently.

"When you're not there it's like someone's pushed the blue boring boringers." He sighed again at the memory of his time without her. "The same things are happening but all the noise and excitement has… gone." He finished simply and glanced across at her to see if she understood what he was saying. She nodded slightly, a small smile playing on her lips. "So… is it okay if I just stay here for a little while, with you?"

"All of time and space at your fingertips and you want to hang out with me in prison?" He shrugged, almost embarrassed to hear it said like that.

"Only if that's okay." He whispered.

"Can't imagine anything better." He voice was full of warmth as she leaned back against him and he hesitantly put his arm around her shoulders.

**Please take a second to review :)**


	6. Marriage Counselling

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory six: Marriage Counselling. 

**Disclaimer:** None of the Doctor Who people belong to me. I own the action figures though if that counts?

_**Author's Note: Firstly I would like to thank once again everyone who has reviewed this story I'm so glad people are enjoying it and feeling the Doctor/River love! This part is slightly different because I'm branching out into attempting to write a bit of Pond for the first time ever. So if anything is horribly OOC I do apologise and please let me know. Context wise it follows vaguely after the previous part in that it dates roughly some months after Day Of The Moon. Enjoy…**_

"Oh that stupid man!" Amy exclaimed loudly as she came stomping into the room and threw herself into a chair next to where River had been sitting. She'd been trying to catch a moment's peace but that had evidently gone out of the window now. Wearily she put down her diary and pen and looked up at the younger girl.

"Which one?" River enquired. She had been tempted to say 'my man or your man?' but from the look on Amy's face she decided to go against anything that may anger the red-head any further.

"Rory stupid-face Williams, of course." Amy snorted angrily.

"What's he done now?" River asked gently, putting on her best agony aunt voice and trying her hardest to sooth her friend.

"He's just so stupidly jealous the whole time. One quick snog with the Doctor and I'm never allowed to live it-" Amy stopped abruptly when she realised who she was talking to and looked guilty at River.

"It's okay, I know all about it." River laughed and Amy breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn't just incurred the wrath of River Song.

"See and you're fine about it even though you… Well, your… history with the Doctor." Amy stumbled putting her foot in it once again.

"I'm fine with it Amy yes but you've got to realise what it's like for Rory." She paused and gave a tiny sigh at the look of confusion on Amy's face. "He's a hard act to follow, our Doctor. He makes even the best of us seem ordinary. You're lucky that you can love him and still be in love with someone else, not many of us are able to do that." She smiled. "And I don't think Rory can understand that yet. Give him time." Amy nodded slowly and sat thinking for a moment, trying to absorb what she'd just been told.

"You really love him, don't you?" Amy asked quietly. "I mean you love him the way I love Rory."

"You mean we argue and I call him stupid a lot?" River laughed lightly trying to deflect the question.

"But you are, or you will be, married to him aren't you?" She pushed, looking intently into River's face.

"Ah… Spoilers, Amy." River chirped. "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." She smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Okay. So… theoretically speaking…" Amy began and River rolled her eyes. She just wasn't going to let this drop today. "Could you give me some advice?"

"Advice?" River repeated, surprised. That had not been where she had expected this conversation to be going. "I really don't think I'm the best person to be giving anyone advice on relationships."

"Please River…" She whined, giving her best puppy dog eyes towards her friend. "There's no one else I can talk to about this. Most of the time I'm stuck here with just Rory and the Doctor and it's not like I can ask _him_ marriage advice." The two women exchanged significant looks and then giggled at the idea of the Doctor trying to fix anyone's love life. "And then even when I'm back home no one could relate to my very bizarre first few months of marriage." She looked away sadly. She loved travelling with the Doctor and loved Rory being there but sometimes it was just so _hard_.

"Okay." River caved in seeing how downcast the usually bubbly girl was looking. "But my marriage… my **theoretical** marriage" she added quickly "would hardly be described as normal."

"Hey nor is mine! I travel through time and Space with two men, one of whom I'm married to and the other I've loved since I was a little girl. Not exactly what most girls plan for their future." She insisted.

"But it's all in one timeline and you all know where you stand with each other. No secrets, no fear of accidentally changing your whole future with a slip of the tongue." River raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

"Fine, point taken." Amy smiled. "But is there anything you could advise me, one girl to another?" She pleaded.

"Ooh girl-talk, haven't done that in a while." The archaeologist mused. It was true, between prison and running with the Doctor she didn't exactly have a whole heap of spare time to fit in girlfriends. One little chat with Amy couldn't hurt too much, right?

"So advise me o wise one." Amy giggled as she sat further back in her chair and gazed across at the beautiful woman who sat opposite her and for once had a serious expression coating her face.

"This is just some general advice. Nothing about anyone in particular." River laboured the point. _No spoilers_, she repeated to herself. Amy nodded vigorously. "I think the most important thing is to tell him how you feel. Argue with him, joke with him but always be honest. Enjoy having someone you can tell anything to. Don't take each other for granted. You don't realise how lucky you are to have someone you can wake up to every day who you know loves you more than anyone else. Remember to take some time for yourselves. Stay in bed on Sunday mornings and let the world pass you by while you lose yourself in each other." River stared into the distance wistfully, clearly lost in thought.

"I'm sorry." Amy whispered.

"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" River asked, looking perplexed.

"I just… It must be hard for you." Amy muttered.

"It's really not." River smiled softly.

"But surely, when you're here you must just wish-"

"No." River cut her off simply.

"You don't know what I was going to say!" Amy replied indignantly.

"You were going to say- I must wish I could have a normal relationship, a normal marriage." Amy opened her mouth to reply but then shut it again quickly. That was what she was going to say. "And no, I don't. It may be back to front and upside down and sometimes, yeah, it hurts when he doesn't feel the way I do but I wouldn't change a second of it." A genuine smile lit up her face. "I've seen the most amazing places and had the most wonderful adventures with a man most people are lucky to spend a few months with. And I've had an entire lifetime."

"He does love you, you know." Amy almost whispered.

"No he doesn't, not yet, not properly, but he will one day." She gasped suddenly, alarmed at how much she'd said and how far she'd let her guard down. "I shouldn't have said anything. Oh Amy you can't tell him. He can't know or it could change everything."

"I swear I won't. I won't tell him anything." Amy said earnestly, noting the complete panic that had spread across River's face.

Outside the door the Doctor tried to move as quietly as he could. Terror spread through him at what they would say if they knew how much of their conversation he'd just caught. As he crept away he tried to process what he'd heard. He knew that he shouldn't have heard any of it but really, he thought, it didn't matter because now he would do everything in his power to make sure that future happened for him. Hearing the joy and the love in her voice when she spoke of their relationship… there was no way he was missing out on that. And plus, he smiled, maybe Amy was right- maybe he did love her all ready. Not as much as she loved him and not as much as he would love her one day, he was sure, but it was a start.

**Please review & rate my Pond ;)**


	7. I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Not One For The Diary.

Memory seven: I wanna hold your hand. 

**Disclaimer:** Can the Doctor and River come out to play today? I promise I'll give them back.

_**Author's Note: Okay so I am using my artistic licence rather heavily here as I have no evidence whatsoever to back up this story but as we have no real hints as to how River and the Doctor met (yet, anyway) I hope no one minds me putting my spin on it. Also for the purpose of this whole story I've decided to stick with eleven and not venture off into future doctor because a) I don't want to have to make up a whole new character and b) the thought of anyone else being the doctor makes me sad. I'm very fickle and always love the current doctor more than any other. Just to keep you all up to speed there! Enjoy…**_

"Is anyone there?" The young girl coughed as she called out from her hiding place in the corner of the room. All around her rubble was falling from the impact of the bomb. Her house, well, it didn't look like her house anymore. Walls had collapsed, windows smashed and she was terrified to move in case anything fell on top of her and squished her. "Please is anyone there?" She called a bit louder. Her parents had been upstairs and she… she didn't want to think what had happened to them.

"Hello?" She jumped as she heard the voice of a man quite close to where she was hiding. Gingerly she looked up to see a tall, dark figure of a man making his way towards her, climbing clumsily over the beams and furniture that littered the room. "Is anyone here?" He shouted. The girl bit her lip nervously and looked around her. Between a stranger and a falling down house she'd take the stranger.

"I'm down here. Help me please." She called and he turned instantly towards the sound of her voice and scrambled frantically towards where she sat. He stopped and crouched down, panting slightly, when he was next to her.

"Are you okay?" He asked gently, looking into the scared eyes of this young girl. He hated war. He **really** hated war. All the death, all the suffering. But they wouldn't get this little girl, he'd make sure of it. He gave her his best _it'll-all-be-fine_ smile as he started looking for a safe pathway out of this crumbling building.

"I'm fine." She said trying to sound braver than she felt. "But my parents… My parents are upstairs. I don't think they're…" She trailed off and turned away from The Doctor's concerned eyes to hide the tears that were starting to fall.

"It's okay. We'll get through this I promise I'll get you out of here and I will help you." He whispered earnestly, his heart breaking for this poor frightened girl.

"But who are you?" She asked and before he managed to open his mouth to reply she continued. "And what have you got on your head?" He stopped looking around the room for an escape and stared, for the first time properly, at the young girl. She was all wild. Tattered army clothes covered in mud, scratches on her face, her curly hair was chopped short and falling across her face, her eyes were wide with fear and yet she managed to have that maddening look of superiority that he didn't know it was possible for someone so young to pull off. He breathed deeply, trying not to let his surprise betray him. How did she always manage to surprise him? Surely it should be his turn by now?

"I'm the Doctor." He breathed, trying to sound steady. First time he meets the love of his life, no pressure. "And that's a bowler hat. Bowler hats are cool." He gave her a smile and she giggled. "In fact I think you should wear it. Much better than a helmet." He placed it gently on her head and she laughed again.

"I'm River Song." She said as she held out her hand and he looked at her puzzled for a moment before shaking it.

"How old are you, River Song?" He muttered.

"Seven and three quarters." She said. Suddenly they felt a large tremor run through them as something shifted in the building above them. She let out a slight squeak of fear as she pulled the bowler hat down further on her head to protect her.

"Brilliant. Best age for escaping from a falling down building." He babbled quickly as he turned and looked squarely into this little girl's face. "Right, River Song, I need you to be very brave for me now and I know you can do it. There's a little space down the one side of the room, do you see it?" He pointed to the one part of the building that seemed to be slightly clearer than then rest of it. "If we go down there we can make it through the broken window at the bottom but we've got to be quick." He didn't tell her just how ready everything was to collapse on them but he knew it was very close to happening. "Can you do that for me?" She nodded as she pulled herself to her feet.

"Should we run?" She whispered.

"Oh yes." He added with a small smile. "You and me River, you watch us run." And he wondered if he was quoting her or she'd been quoting him and he knew that this was their life. Never knowing who'd stared it- who'd said what or who'd loved who first. In a constant circle of repetition and jokes they didn't get till too late. One always knowing more than the other. "Now, may I hold your hand?" He asked her as he extended one hand backwards towards her.

"Of course." She smiled and put her shaking hand into his, pulling herself level with this strange man.

"Right. Got your hat on? Brilliant. Ready to run?" She nodded and he pulled them both forwards, leaving the safety of the corner they'd been hiding in. They began to run as fast as they could avoiding the falling debris and jumping the rubble littering the floor. When they finally reached the shattered window he grabbed her around the waist and pushed her through first before scrambling out himself. As they stood there, both panting, the Doctor breathed a huge sigh of relief. She was okay. Everything was as it should be.

"Is there anyone you can stay with?" He asked her gently as he knelt down beside her. The sadness in her eyes hurt him and he wished more than anything he could make it all go away.

"Can't I come with you Doctor?" She whispered.

"Oh… sweetie." His heart broke as he looked at her, so alone and so afraid and he wished he could just take her away forever but he knew he couldn't. Not yet. The TARDIS was no place for a child- it was no life for her. "I wish I could take you but I can't."

"Will I ever see you again?" She whispered, trying to hold back her tears. She'd lost everything today and now she was going to lose her new friend, her rescuer, as well.

"Look at me River." He crouched down beside her and smiled. "You'll see me very soon. Until then if you ever need me I'll always be there, I promise." He pushed her nose gently and she made a small noise somewhere between a sob and a giggle. "Now let's go find you somewhere safe to stay." She put her arms around his neck as he picked her up easily and carried her off into the distance.

**Please review and make my day :)**


	8. Being Human

Not One For The Diary.

Memory eight: Being Human. 

**Disclaimer:** If I owned River and The Doctor would I be sat here writing fanfiction? No, I'd be hooking up CCTV in the bedroom I'd locked them in ;)

_**Author's Note: This is inspired by a combination of Gavin & Stacey and personal experience. We're dealing with a late teens/early 20s River here in case anyone wondered & I will do more with her older (honest) but I just love exploring their backstory so I hope y'all do too! Enjoy…. **_

"River Song open this door!" The Doctor shouted angrily. He'd been banging on the door to her little flat for nearly ten minutes and had no reply. He knew she was in there and she was either ignoring him or she was hurt and the idea of either of those was panicking him. "I will sonic this door if you don't open it right now River!" He reached in to get his screwdriver and hoped the neighbours were out. The last thing she needed was them complaining… _again._

"Doctor! Put that away now." River hissed through the door. "Look, I can't come out today. Come back in a few days and I will be fine but I cannot come out today."

"Urm…" The Doctor scratched at his face nervously. This was not normal River behaviour. Even this early in her timeline she would normally be dragging him into her bedroom not locking him out of it. "River? Have I done something to upset you?" He asked nervously and, even through the door, he heard her sigh slightly.

"You haven't done anything sweetie." She whispered, her voice suddenly softer than it had been a second ago.

"Are you sure? Because if my future self has done something to upset you I… I can go and punch him. Paradox and possible world-implosion be damned." She laughed softly as she laid her hand against the door separating them.

"You haven't done anything." She repeated quickly. "Nothing's wrong I just can't come out today."

"River, I may be a mad alien with a blue box but even I know that when a woman says 'nothing's wrong' then something is _always_ wrong." He waited for a beat but only heard silence in reply. "C'mon River, talk to me."

"Look just leave me alone. Today is not a good day. Come back another time." She snapped. That impossible man- he'd never be able to understand.

"Okay…" He muttered, confused. He'd never been told no by River before. Not in a serious way at least. "Fine. I'll go. This is me going now." He shouted as he climbed back into his TARDIS, thinking hard.

River sighed as she heard the TARDIS disappear outside her door. She'd been too hard on him, she knew that, but she didn't want him to see her like this. He had all of time and space and all the people in it to chose from and if he saw her like **this**... well she doubted he'd be coming back to see her. Sulkily she climbed back into her bed and hid under the covers thinking of going back to sleep until she was in a better mood when she suddenly heard an all-too familiar noise at the bottom of her bed. She groaned. Not only did he have the nerve to just basically break into her flat but he'd left the bloody breaks on while doing it.

"You cheered up yet?" The doctor called as he stuck his head around the TARDIS door. "Because if not I can take you to a planet where it's impossible to be grumpy. Trust me, I've tried."

"You just don't know when to give up do you?" River called out from under the blankets. She heard the door click and felt a weight on the side of her bed meaning he'd sat himself down.

"Come out from under there." He teased her gently as he pulled lightly on the covers that were completely obscuring her from his view.

"Make me." She muttered sulkily.

"Okay then!" He replied enthusiastically as he stood up and, with one fluid motion, completely pulled the blankets from her bed exposing her tank top and shorts she'd obviously worn to bed and her hair that was still matted from sleep.

"Oh I hate you!" She growled with the usual ferocity she said those words with as she covered her face from his view.

"No you don't." He chirped cheerfully. "Now be a good girl and tell the Doctor what's wrong." He flirted unashamedly as he stroked her back.

"Oh fine." River snapped. There wasn't really any way out of this now unless she ran to the TARDIS and managed to fly it off before he stopped her and that, she thought, was highly unlikely. "But you have to promise not to laugh." She sat up cautiously and turned to face him. He bit down hard on his bottom lip as she looked at him.

"Oh River you're all spotty!" He exclaimed joyfully she glared at him. Her normally perfect face was littered with a good few spots that by normal people's standards would have been just a bad breakout but to River were the end of the world. He bit his lip harder but couldn't supress the slight laugh that escaped them.

"I said not to laugh!" She growled as she hit his arm.

"Ouch!" He winced. "I'm not laughing at you I'm laughing at your completely melodramatic reaction. I thought someone was holding you hostage or that I'd done something so awful you'd never want to see me again and you're worrying about a few tiny spots!"

"They're not a few. They're a lot." She grumbled before grudgingly looking into his eyes. "And it's so unfair. I hate being human."

"Well I love you being human." He cooed gently. "We all have bad days River. And if this is as bad as it gets you should think yourself lucky."

"Bet you don't though." She muttered.

"Oh trust me I do." He smiled trying to reassure her and sighed when he saw it was failing miserably. "Oh come here you." He put his hands around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. "You're not getting all insecure on me are you River Song, miss most-confident-girl-in-the-universe?" He joked, not wanting to mention he thought it was completely adorable on the rare occasions she did.

"No." She pouted. "I know that I'm the hottest thing in this galaxy and that's why you can't resist me." She gave him a little wink and he laughed as she shifted on his lap to be able to wrap her arms around him fully. "But it just seems so unfair. You get to stay all young and gorgeous all the time whereas I get stuck with spots and… getting older. One day people are going to look at me with you and think I'm your mother." She shuddered at the thought and he laughed.

"River, the way you act around me I think it would be very difficult for anyone to believe we're related." She grinned sheepishly.

"But I do get old and you stay all young and annoyingly hot, right?"

"Ahh… Spoilers, Mrs Robinson." He wiggled his eyebrows and decided it was a very good idea to kiss her now before she worked out what he'd said and started hitting him again.

**Review? Pretty please? **


	9. I've Never

Not One For The Diary.

Part Nine: I've Never. 

**Disclaimer:** If you think I own these characters you're very silly.

**_Author's note: Okay so credit for planting this idea into my head lies firmly with _SerenBee and her stories The Hangover _and _The Night Before _(which, if you haven't read you really should!) which made me obsess about The Doctor and River drinking. So notes: I thiiiink I gave this story a reasonably high rating but for anyone very conservative this chapter contains some very mild sex, drugs and rock n roll references. Don't likey, don't read-y. Set sometime during this series roughly. Enjoy…_**

"I'll get the next round then shall I?" River announced in a sing-song voice as she lifted herself up from the table and strutted across to the bar. Amy, Rory and The Doctor all muttered something non-coherent as she walked past.

"That woman." The Doctor mumbled with a slight smile as he took the opportunity to watch her go. Almost as if she knows River turned around and, catching him not-so-subtly staring, gave him a wink. He felt himself turn a slightly darker shade of pink and turned back to his friends sitting across the table from him. _This was not a good idea,_ he thought quickly. Why had he let himself be talked into this? Oh yes. River had wanted to have a party. River had whispered some very seductive things into his ear. River had put on that amazing red dress she was wearing now. River had promised to… Well, let's just say it was clear River knew exactly how to get her own way when it came to him.

"Wakey, wakey children. River's brought drinks!" She announced as she slid back onto the bench and pushed a tray onto the table in front of them. Amy and Rory both jumped at the noise but looked slightly more focused by the appearance of alcohol in front of them. They'd all been drinking for hours now and the two youngsters were having trouble keeping up with the pace River set.

"River… you've bought the entire bar." Amy slurred slightly as she noted the tray that was filled with shots in a rainbow of colours.

"I thought it would be fun to play a game." She grinned and a collective groan went around the table. "Oh come on, it'll be **fun**!" She insisted.

"Okay, I'm in." Amy nodded clearly not wanting to be categorised as 'not fun' by River. "What are we playing?"

"I've Never." River grinned wickedly.

"Well I've never played _I've never._" The Doctor muttered grumpily. He was getting bored and no one was paying him any attention.

"It's very simple sweetie, even you'll pick it up." River teased gently as she gave his leg a quick squeeze under the table and flashed him a winning smile. "All you have to do is say something you've never done and then if anyone else **has** done it they have to do a shot." Amy squealed with delight at the idea and clapped her hands happily.

"Ooh I'll start!" She chimed in. "I've never… Run out of a restaurant without paying." Amy announced and watched as both the Doctor and River picked up a shot and threw it back quickly.

"The restaurant blew up." The Doctor explained guiltily whereas River just shrugged her shoulders causing both Amy and Rory to laugh.

"Your turn Rory." Amy giggled.

"I've never cheated on anyone." Rory said pointedly and River and the Doctor exchanged a pained look. Amy muttered something that sounded like _oh get over it_ as she quickly drank and shuddered as the alcohol hit her throat. The Doctor looked at River's drink questioningly and she shook her head a fraction as he grinned.

"You go now!" River demanded as they turned to look at the Doctor.

"Right… Okay…" He mused. "I've never been to Venice on the 18th May 1976." He announced happily.

"Okay, new rule." River groaned. "No boring ones. That's cheating. Go again."

"Fine." He huffed. "I've never been to prison." She said meaningfully as River rolled her eyes and gulped back a bright yellow drink.

"Only because you've never been caught." She hissed with a small smile. "My go. I've never been skinny dipping." She announced. No one took a sip of their drink as they all eyed her with badly-concealed shock. "Oh come on, it's not that unheard of." She laughed as everyone else drank greedily. "Honestly you all have such low opinions of me." She threw the Doctor a dirty look and he at least had the good grace to look slightly ashamed.

"I've never had sex in the TARDIS!" Amy giggled loudly and hiccupped. River felt all the eyes around the table fall on her. _Spoilers be damned_ she thought to herself as she picked up a particularly vivid shot, held it up to them in a mock salute and threw it gracefully into her open mouth.

"Wh-" The doctor began but she put one finger to his lips and shook her head slightly. That was more than enough to tease him for tonight.

The game continued in earnest and soon they were all falling about laughing at the stupid secrets that were being shared. Never had a threesome, never jumped out of an aeroplane, never flashed anyone, never used handcuffs during foreplay (at which River said she had to drink two shots because it happened so often and the Doctor's eyes nearly fell out of his head) and on and on it went. Soon the foursome found themselves staring, slightly out of focus, at a table with a lot of empty glasses but no drinks in it. Amy and Rory had been kissing each other deeply and drunkenly since Rory's last revelation of _I've never loved anyone more than my beautiful wife_ while the Doctor and River sat staring at each other, waiting for someone to make the first move. River was convinced, this time, it wasn't going to be her. She wanted him to get over this awkward phase they were going through, and fast.

"I've got one." The doctor muttered with a slight slur as he lent closer to River.

"No more drinks though sweetie, so we can't really play." She whispered softly as she placed one hand onto his face and he leaned into it, closing his eyes. She smiled as her heart filled with love for her silly old Time Lord. He never could hold his drink as well as she could.

"Doesn't matter." He murmured as he shook his head and opened his eyes trying to focus on her once more. "I've never felt like this about anyone before." He whispered, suddenly sounding more sober.

"I've never felt like this about anyone else." She replied, grinning broadly at him.

"I've never wanted to kiss anyone this much." He continued as he moved his face even closer to hers so she could feel his breath on her face. He was staring intently at her lips and she felt her breath catching in her chest, she felt like a young girl again.

"I've never wished so much that you would." She barely breathed the words as she gazed into the face of the man she loved but that was all the encouragement he needed. Suddenly his lips were on hers moving nervously but eagerly. His hands were in her hair as she pulled him closer and sighed as she deepened the kiss, her tongue gently dancing with his in a rhythm she knew so well. Eventually they broke apart at a slight cough from across the table. The pair looked over to see Amy and Rory both trying to look disapproving but failing to hide their giggles.

"Well I never!" Rory laughed.

**I know I've probably been spamming your inboxes with all these updates but it's either write this or essays ;) so please review if you get a second! **


	10. Nightmares

Not One For The Diary.

Memory Ten: Nightmares. 

**Disclaimer: **River ain't mine, the Doctor ain't mine but I am borrowing them for a tiny bit.

_**Author's Notes: Okay, I'm sorry but this is where everything changes. Well no I'm just quoting River for the sake of it there but this part is going to be a bit angsty and I apologise because whenever I read D/R angst I cry like a baby. I've been putting it off for a while but this one keeps coming back to me when I'm deciding which part to write next. In my mind it follows sometime after the last part but that's not crucial to understanding it. (Also for anyone wondering I still haven't finished my essays! Haha) Enjoy…**_

"Bye Amy, bye Rory!" River called as she waved out of the TARDIS door at the retreating backs of her two friends. She sighed slightly as she shut the door and leant all her weight against it, kicking her heels off and allowing her tiredness to finally overtake her. It had been a long few days with non-stop running and all she really wanted to do was sleep. "Right, back to my cosy little cell with a view then. You flying or am I?" She grinned as she walked herself over to the console and began to input the co-ordinates for the place she called home.

"River…" The Doctor began as he walked up behind her and snatched up her hands before she could push the final button to send them on their way.

"Fine." She sighed as she turned around and pressed herself between him and the controls. "You do it but don't blame me when we end up about five miles north of where we should." She grinned cheekily.

"No, it's not that." He muttered, not looking directly into her eyes but instead staring at a spot somewhere above her left shoulder. She noticed how nervous he looked and she felt the feeling reflected in herself. This was either going to be something very good or very bad. "Could you urm… Would you mind possibly…"

"Spit it out sweetie." River teased him gently, laughter flickering in her eyes.

"Can you stay tonight?" He spluttered quickly. "Only if you wouldn't mind of course." He added as an afterthought.

"Of course sweetie." River purred as she placed her hand on his chest and closed the gap between them even more. Maybe it was later in his timeline than she'd given him credit for. "I'll get the handcuffs and meet you in the bedroom in ten minutes." She winked and enjoyed the look of panic that spread across his face briefly before she pushed herself up towards him and kissed him gently to reassure him she wouldn't eat him alive.

"Well actually…" He muttered, embarrassed. "Would you mind if we didn't? Not that I don't want to. Very much would like to. Maybe not the handcuffs but the other bit definitely…" He swallowed as he got momentarily distracted by her breasts showing slightly under her tight shirt. "But tonight could we just, y'know… be together?" He asked quietly looking younger and more afraid than she'd seen him in a long time.

"What's wrong Doctor?" She asked gently as she pulled his face to meet her own, her eyes searching out the secrets within his.

"It's nothing." He muttered trying to smile but not quite pulling it off completely.

"C'mon. Let's sit down." She grabbed his hand and pulled him after her, pulling them both gently onto the floor of the TARDIS. She sat close to him and placed her arms around him, pulling his head onto her chest as he curled around her and she stroked his face gently just reassuring him that she was there. The Doctor closed his eyes and River leaned her head on top of his. Neither of them slept but they stayed like that for the longest time just listening to the hum of the TARDIS and the sound of their own breathing.

"Can you tell me?" River asked eventually, breaking the spell that surrounded them.

"I've been having nightmares." He whispered gently. "Well, nightmare. Singular. Just the one every night." He closed his eyes tightly to try to force back the tears that welled up inside them. Ever since he'd started getting to know her, really know her, he'd been haunted by images of her death. Every night he was forced to relive the pain of what she'd done for him. What he'd let her do for him. And the knowledge that even though he'd been there it had been no good to her, that a stranger might as well have watched her die for all he'd done. If he couldn't stop it he wished he'd been able to be there, **this** him- the him that loved her, to tell her how much he'd miss her and how she was rapidly becoming everything to him.

"What about sweetie?" She muttered brining him back to reality.

"Ahhh… spoilers, River." He laughed bitterly as he stole her words. When she said them she promised excitement, love and passion. All he had to offer was pain and loneliness and death. Maybe he deserved this, deserved the pain he'd have to spend the rest of his life with her in, because he'd sent the woman who would be his entire world to death on her own.

"That bad, huh?" She smiled sadly.

"You have no idea." He whispered back.

"Is there anything I can do, anyway I can make it better?" She asked desperately, unable to take the pain in his voice any more.

"Oh River." He sat up suddenly, grabbing her face and looking deep into her eyes. "You wonderful woman. You have no idea how much you've done all ready. Too much. More than you should have done, more than you should have been allowed to do." She opened her mouth to reply but he kissed her deeply before she could. Kissed her without hesitation and without fear for the first time. He felt her sigh as she gave herself over to his kiss and he tried to put all the feelings he could not express and all the words he'd never be allowed to say into that one kiss. When he pulled away from her he rested his forehead gently against hers and sighed.

"I need to tell you something River." He muttered.

"You can't. Not yet sweetie, it's too early. You don't even know who I am yet." She said alarmed.

"I bloody do!" He snapped angrily. "You are the bravest, most self-sacrificing, loyal, caring and loving woman I've ever met."

"You forgot to mention my amazing breasts." River breathed with a small smile glinting on her lips.

"Oh yes, can't forget those." He grinned giving them an appreciative nod before shaking himself and returning to his previous train of thought. "But I've known all this since the day I've met you and I've just let myself be intimidated by you whispering that everything is going to change. I don't care any more River. Things have all ready changed and they've changed because I love you." River gaped at him- at a loss for words for the first time since he'd met her. "I know I haven't done this for a while but isn't this the point where you tell me you love me too?" He whispered.

"Oh shut up." She grinned as she pulled him in to kiss him. "Of course I love you." Her lips whispered against his as they kissed again. They clung to each other like sailors clung to their sinking ship. Neither was aware of starting to cry but before they knew it tears ran down both of their faces coating their lips in a salty sheen. He cried for the woman he didn't know that he'd all ready lost and she cried for the man she'd known for so long who was slipping away from her. As they burrowed their hands into each other's hair and cried together they knew that, tonight at least, they would never let each other go.

**Remember all those lovely reviews you've all given me? If you could manage another one I'd be very grateful. And I promise I'll write a happier one next time!**


	11. Resisting River Song

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory eleven: Resisting River Song. 

**Disclaimer:** The beeb is all mighty and I am all notingy. Don't sue!

_**Author's note: This is set somewhere in the middle where they both know quite a lot about each other. Also this is my first ever attempt at writing anything smutty so please be warned. If you don't like that kind of thing please don't read. Also I know I have a lot of younger people reading so just… y'know… I was reading this kind of stuff at your age but I don't want to be responsible for corrupting anyone so just, I dunno, get parental permission or something :p other than that- enjoy!**_

"Sweetie, you coming to bed?" River called down to her husband as he lay under the TARDIS console fiddling with some wire or another.

"Mmmhmm…" He muttered noncommittally as he carried on tinkering with his engine. Sighing heavily River grabbed hold of the only part of the Doctor (his foot) that was visible and pulled it hard.

"Are you listening to me?" River asked as he slid beneath her and she straddled his flailing body, pinning him in place beneath her.

"Yes sweetie." He muttered through gritted teeth.

"So, are coming to bed with me?" she continued in an almost sickly-sweet voice.

"Very soon darling." He nodded as he tried to push himself back under the controls.

"Are you trying to suggest that you could resist my advances, Doctor?" She asked, a dangerous chuckle in her voice.

"Oh my dear River Song," The Doctor began as he gazed up her. "I am the Doctor. I could resist anything." He laughed gently.

"I'll give you one chance…" River whispered. "One chance to take it back or I can't be responsible for what I do." She raised her eyebrows and therefore did warm him of any trouble to come.

"I can resist even you." He nodded confidently until he felt himself being pulled upright and pushed backwards against the solid wall of the TARDIS by his companion.

"You sure about that?" Dr Song quipped as she laced his fingers though his hair and she pushed her knee very unsubtly up the side of his leg letting her foot caress his leg gently as it went. "Definitely sure?" Her voice was breathy and her mouth all-too-close to his ear for his liking. He tried to reply but only managed a large gulp and a small nod. She stared directly into his eyes and he saw a twinkle of something dangerous pass through them before quickly she pulled away, leaving him panting slightly against the wall. "Okay then sweetie." She laughed in a quick return to her normal voice. "See you later then." She patted his cheek patronisingly and skipped off without so much as a backward look.

The Doctor sighed with relief as he got down onto the grubby TARDIS floor once more to complete his adjustments. He'd never known River give up so easily. Something was very wrong there, he thought to himself as he grabbed his sonic screwdriver and accidentally gave himself an electric shock by sonicing the wrong wire. He shook his head gently. Something was definitely wrong here.

"Sweetie, I made dinner!" River's angelic voice rang across the TARDIS a few moments later and he closed his eyes preparing himself for the worst. River never cooked. This was bad.

Gingerly he walked to the kitchen and poked his head around the door and as he did he felt his jaw literally drop as he saw what River was wearing. She had the tiniest French maid outfit known to man, Time Lord or (he was pretty certain) any other species in the known universe. Her curls were pulled up into a bun on the top of her head but a few of them still escaped down her neck. Her breasts were barely concealed beneath the tiny corseted dress that fell slightly off her shoulders. It took all his self-restraint not to rush over there and pull it down in one swift movement but instead he stood routed to the spot, eyes hungrily raking over his beautiful lover. The dress stopped a fraction higher than actually would be any use for covering her oh-so-squeezable bum and as he tilted his head to get a better view he caught a glimpse of something lacy. Team that with the black stockings that covered her stunningly long legs and the killer pair of stilettos she was wearing and he was amazed he was managing to still be breathing, let alone standing.

"Take a seat, sweetie." River turned around from the stove where she was stirring a large pot of something that smelled like… River licked her lips gently and he forgot completely what it smelled like and anything else he was thinking. Stumbling forward he managed to throw himself into the chair without ever taking his eyes off her. She grinned at him and poured out a bowl of whatever she'd been cooking and began walking towards him with far more hip-swinging than he thought anyone could logically need. Not that he was complaining. She placed the food down in front of him and he tore his eyes away from her for two seconds to see what she'd produced. His face exploded into a grin. Fish fingers and custard! He couldn't believe it. River **hated **fish fingers and custard and here she was making them for him and… he gulped as he looked up just in time to see her lowering herself onto his lap. One arm draped around his neck forcing his eyes down just a fraction so they were just on level with her heaving chest.

Without her eyes ever leaving his face she reached behind onto the table and dipped one of the fish fingers into the custard and brought it lovingly to her husband's mouth. He swallowed hard. No other woman could make fish fingers and custard this sexy. The combination of her weight on his lap and that damn outfit, however, was making it very hard to concentrate even on his favourite meal and it was also making his trousers uncomfortably tight. One look at River's smug smile confirmed that she knew all too well the effect she was having on him.

"I… I don't think I can eat any more." He stuttered after a few moments. It was true. His mouth seemed to be refusing to cooperate with his brain and his brain was refusing to do anything except continue to try to process the image of his wife in front of him.

"So what would you like to do?" She muttered seductively as she twisted her one leg around so she was straddling him on the chair. She pushed herself right up to him and began to move her hips, ever so slightly, against his. Her hands instinctively found his hair as she peppered tiny kisses down his throat and onto his chest. "What would you like to do to me?" She looked up at him, all eyes and hair and utterly irresistible. She continued kissing him down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt as she went. Lower and lower until she was pulling teasingly at the waist band of his trousers, slipping her hands just inside.

"Oh God River." He moaned. "Need you. So bad." Was all he managed to say.

"You need me?" She asked quietly as she began to slowly unzip his trousers. "Does this mean you can't resist me?"

"Resist you?" He muttered incoherently, his head thrown back and a look of ecstasy plastered across his face. "Never resist you River." He moaned her name as she pulled herself back onto his lap and placed herself above him.

"And don't you ever forget it." River grinned wickedly as she kissed him deeply and gave him exactly what he needed.

**Ok I'm sooo nervous posting this so please please review or I'll go hide in shame and never attempt fanfiction again. Not to guilt you into it or anything ;)**


	12. Waitress in a cocktaail bar

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory Twelve: You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

**Disclaimer:**I keep trying to buy them but they're still not mine. I'll let you know if I succeed.

_**Author's Note: This is set when River is at university and I imagine her being mid-late twenties here and the doctor being further on in his timeline (still eleven, I only write eleven- I have decided). Idea for this comes from the song "Don't you want me" by Human League. Because I listen to 80s music 'cause I'm cool like that. Enjoy…**_

"I think you've had enough, Bob." River announced forcefully across the crowded bar as the young red alien held his glass high to her. Sure, she thought it was weird calling a three-foot red alien Bob was strange but that was how he introduced himself and, around here, you learned not to question things.

"Aww c'mon. One more." Bob slurred as he swayed gently from side to side.

"Not tonight Bob." She repeated as she crossed her arms. "Now don't make me come over there and throw you out because I really don't want to." She smiled slightly as he wandered away, muttering under his breath.

"You tell him River." One of her co-workers laughed as he passed her with a tray full of glasses. River grinned at him as he passed. Her eyes automatically raked the bar for anyone waiting for another drink. Eventually they fell upon the dark, mysterious stranger that lingered at the end of the bar and she felt her grin widen as she wandered towards him.

"Sex on the beach?" She asked seductively as she leaned across the bar, resting herself on her arms to give the man in front of her the best view possible of her cleavage.

"I think I'd prefer a screwdriver." He smiled across at her.

"Oh you do know how to make a girl feel wanted." River replied sarcastically as she rolled her eyes at the Doctor, slightly put out that he wouldn't play her game. "What are you doing here any way?"

"Oh well… you know… '_you were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar when I met you' _and all that." The Doctor grinned.

"Ah yes but _'even then I knew I'd find a much better place either with or without you_.'" River winked at him. She refused to be out-quoted by this man who clearly thought he knew it all.

"What are you doing **here** River?" He asked in that patronising manner he so easily embodied and River felt her blood boil.

"Well, my darling, not all of us have the luxury of being able to dart off into time and space whenever we want it and some of us have to fund our own way through university." River retorted quickly.

"But **here**? Seriously?" The Doctor asked as his eyes scanned the seedy atmosphere.

"Yes. Here." River folded her arms and looked him squarely in the eyes. "You got a problem with that?"

"It's just so…" He tried to take in the creatures throwing up in the corner, the laughter from the drunk females and the beat that just seems to go on and on and on. "So ordinary." He finished.

"And your point is?" She asked dangerously.

"You're not ordinary." He replied simply as he gazed in awe at her face. "You're amazing. Come away with me." He pleaded with her gently.

"I can't sweetie." She whispered in his ear. "I have to finish my shift, my degree… my life. You're just going to have to wait for me." She grinned slightly because she knew he would.

"Soon?" He whispered and she kissed him gently.

"Soon." She nodded before slinking away to serve drinks to people who don't need them, knowing he'd be waiting to walk her home at the end of her shift. Like he always did.

**Please review or River will receive no tips :(**


	13. It Gives You Wings

Not One For The Diary. 

Part Thirteen: It Gives You Wings. 

**Disclaimer:** Blah, not mine :/

_**Author's Note: This will be the last part up for a few days as I'm off on holiday till Saturday. Try not to miss me too much, I'll be back and spamming your inboxes again before you know it. This is just a little silly one I wrote while packing. This scene is set some time during this series roughly but it doesn't matter too much. Enjoy…**_

"Ri-ver!" The Doctor called as he tapped an irritating rhythm on the bathroom door. River sighed deeply. She could practically hear him bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet outside. She decided to ignore him and instead reached over and turned up the soothing music she was trying to enjoy whilst taking her bath. "River, River, Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiver!" He almost sang as he continued his incessant tapping.

"What?" River yelled as she sat up in the bath, her eye mask falling and dropping noisily into the water as it did.

"Are you nearly done?" He asked quietly. River let out a long sigh as she lowered herself back into the water. No crisis then, he was just bored.

"I've only just got in sweetie." She replied, trying to keep her voice calm and remember her breathing. She loved the man to death but, my God, sometimes it was like dealing with a three-year-old.

"Okay…" He sulked and she heard him shuffle away muttering to himself. Hopefully he would go and find one of the Ponds to play with so she could have a moment or two to relax.

"River you've got to come out now!" He bounded back up to the door less five minutes later. River shook her head, maybe a few moments peace had really been too much to ask for. "I've just had the best thing ever. You've got to come and see."

"Give. Me. A. Minute." River muttered dangerously. "I need to wash my hair and then I will be out."

"No it needs to be **now**" he whined. "Ah I know!" He announced and she heard his feet patter off down the corridor and sat with baited breath. Whatever had got him in this hyper mood was not good. "Here we go!" He announced as River looked up just in time to see the Doctor bursting through the door holding a metal bucket. She opened her mouth to shout but she was too late as she felt a shower of freezing water cover her and she screamed in shock.

"What did you just-" She spluttered in shock but the Doctor merely grinned.

"Your hair's washed now. Time to get out." He ran away laughing as River, almost trembling with rage, pulled herself out of the bath and wrapped a towel securely around herself before marching down the corridor. Even the Doctor knew not to do that. There was only thing that would ever make him behave that recklessly towards her.

"Which one of you stupid people" River shouted as she stood there, dripping like a drowned cat, in front of Amy and Rory. "Which one of you extraordinarily dense people let that man have red bull?" She flared her nostrils and her eyes flashed as she folded her arms and waited for someone to speak.

"He did it!" Amy pointed at Rory at the exact same moment Rory shouted "She did it" and pointed across at his wife. They looked so very much like school children that River had to try her very hardest to keep her angry face on. Especially as the doctor came racing up to her and enveloped her in a crushing hug.

"Ooh wet River, very nice!" He laughed as he bounced backwards.

"Oh I do hate you all!" River growled.

"No you don't!" They chorused in unison and River turned away quickly and stomped off down the hallway mostly so they didn't see the smirk that was creeping onto her face. She loved her strange, mixed up, dysfunctional family. But they didn't need to know that.

**Review and I'll be inspired to think of lots more good ideas while I'm away! True fact ;) xx**


	14. The Beach

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fourteen: The Beach. 

**Disclaimer:** I own neither of these wonderful characters I like to write about so much.

_**Author's Note: Well, I'm back! Did you miss me? Firstly a big thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited or alerted on the last part. You are all amazing and the Doctor and/or River (whichever floats your boat) send you big virtual snogs. This part is dedicated to my lovely welsh friend Becki (SerenBee) and is inspired by my fab holiday to Wales I've just had. Okay enough rambling. I picture this being somewhere around the mid point but where River is still more "in the know" but it doesn't make a huge deal of difference. Enjoy…**_

"Okay so it's not Rio." The Doctor announced as he threw open the TARDIS doors and stepped out onto the beach he'd landed them on. The wind was howling around them as the waves crashed incessantly upon the shore. The grey sky overhead blended perfectly with the grey mountains that framed the scene. "It's Rhyl." He finished apologetically. River laughed loudly as she followed him outside- her hair and dress were instantly swept up by the gale-force wind surrounding them as she stared out across the sea and wrapped her arms around herself to try to suppress the shiver of cold that ran through her.

"Never mind, sweetie. Maybe next time." She grinned. The Doctor sighed deeply as he stared at the beautiful woman beside him. Her floor-length dress and heels should have looked out of place on the beach but, even with her hair blowing around her to the extent it fanned out around her in a halo, she managed to pull it off. She looked beautiful, radiant even, and she was still giving him that all-encompassing smile she always gave him that he didn't deserve. This was supposed to be a present: a treat for the anniversary he didn't remember because he hadn't yet married her. He'd seen the split-second disappointment on her face and he'd hated it. So he'd promised her Rio, romance and no interruptions. But he'd messed it up again. He always promised her the world, the stars and everything beyond and he never managed to give it her because he could never give her all of him in the way she deserved.

"I'm sorry River." He whispered, looking deep into those understanding eyes and hoping she knew what he was apologising for. It was for so much more than getting the wrong location.

"It's **fine** sweetie." She murmured as she closed the gap between them and silenced him with a quick kiss. "I love Wales, really. We can eat candy floss and build sandcastles and play in the arcades and walk along the pier. It will be great. Much better than boring Rio." She grinned with child-like enthusiasm.

"It's probably going to rain." The Doctor muttered, staring up at the overcast sky.

"So we'll get wet!" River laughed. "Now stop sulking, it's hardly the end of the world."

"I know, I've been there." He said, still sulkily, but with a small smile that let River know she was slowly winning the battle.

"And I bet it didn't look anything like this, did it?" She waved one arm around elaborately and he grinned at her. "Now let's go and do something!" She exclaimed excitedly and he pulled her close to him, holding her so tightly it felt like he was trying to pull her inside him.

"Oh River, I miss spending time with you." He sighed as he breathed in the smell of her. She laced her arms around his back and lay them instinctively on the place she could feel his hearts beating as she hugged him back.

"Well don't miss me now." She smiled gently as her head burrowed into the crook of his neck. He was so grateful for those words, for that permission. He knew she found it as hard as he did to spend all this time apart and then, when they were together, for it to often be the wrong versions of each other they met. He knew it broke her heart when he didn't get her in-jokes or when her references went straight over his head but she never let it get her down and she never let it show. She never cried in front of him so he could leave her without guilt. She cheered him up, brought him back to life without any concern for what it was doing to her. He loved her for it. He knew, deep down, that she lived for the moments they were together but she never made him feel bad for all the moments she survived, somehow, without him. She coped with so many emotions and never let them stop her enjoying each new moment they had.

"I love you." He whispered as he decided, right then, that he needed to tell her more. Tell her every second they were together and show her even more. He kissed her deeply and felt her relax against him as he threaded his fingers through her hair. He listened to the crashing of the waves and the thundering of the wind around them and it felt like they were the only two beings in existence. He felt a small sigh escape from his lips to hers as he stopped worrying. For the first time in a long time he didn't worry about the human race, invasion of the earth, the timewar, the loss of his people or… anything. For a moment nothing mattered but him and her on a cold, grey beach in Wales.

When they eventually broke apart he smiled at her, panting slightly. He hoped she'd felt everything he just did and knew the extent of her effect on him. He was just about to open his mouth to ask her if she felt it too when he saw that mischievous glint in her eyes as she glanced out towards the sea.

"Don't even think about it." He said sternly.

"Think about what?" River replied with mock innocence as she smiled up at him.

"River, it's freezing cold." He said but she merely grinned wider at him. "It's going to rain any second." She shrugged slightly as he continued. "You're wearing a **floor length dress** for God's sake, River- don't go in the sea!" He almost pleaded.

"Sounds like you're worried I'm going to beat you there, old man." She laughed as she raised one of her eyebrows.

"Me, worried? Never." He muttered.

"Race you then!" She grinned wickedly as she kicked off her high-heeled shoes.

"Fine!" He succumbed. "But don't you even think I'm paying for that to be dry-cleaned."

"Oh I don't think that Sweetie, I know." She laughed as she grabbed his hand and they ran towards the sea.

**Please review? Please? I'm not above begging!**


	15. She Knows

Not One For The Diary

Memory fifteen: She Knows. 

**Disclaimer: **The whoverse (as I'm sure I've heard someone call it) belongs to a lot of rich powerful people. I am not one of said people.

_**Author's note: Back again, huh? I just can't keep away from you people. This one is slightly different as it's more Amy-based but it does centre around Doctor/River relationship I promise (could I write anything else? No. It would be impossible). So anyways I'm still a little nervous about my characterisation of the Ponds so if you could let me know how well/badly/indifferently it goes that would be brilliant. Enjoy…**_

"There is **definitely **something going on with those two." Amy told her husband bluntly as she folded her arms and stared across at the couple on the other side of the TARDIS. They weren't doing anything exceptional- just talking together gently but still… She knew. "I'm telling you, something's going on." She repeated with a knowing look plastered across her face.

"Of course something's going on." Rory muttered sulkily. Any opportunity Amy took to stare at the Doctor still set him on edge especially when she was staring at him and another woman with a look that could possibly be jealousy fleetingly crossing her face. "Something's been going on since the moment she first arrived and started flirting with him like there's no tomorrow and basically telling us all that they're together in some weird backwards-future world." He continued, unable to see why Amy was announcing this like it was something new.

"Yes but then it was just… I don't know… Like a game River was playing." Amy shrugged, trying to make sense of it in her own head. "But looking at them now you can tell something's changed." She sighed slightly at Rory's blank expression before ploughing on. "Call it women's intuition if you must but I can just tell that now something's going on." She'd noticed it over the past few days while River had been flying with them. She'd noticed that when he grabbed her hand to run with him their fingers interlocked and his thumb gently grazed over hers. She'd noticed the way his hand hovered awkwardly in the small of her back when they stood next to each other. She'd noticed the way he brushed her hair out of her eyes and lingered for just a fraction of a second too long to be just friendly. Mostly she'd noticed the way his eyes found hers a little too often to be a coincidence and the way his smile became that much wider when she entered the room. It was the things nobody but a best friend would notice.

To be honest she found it adorable. Sure, at first she'd been a little bit put out by the appearance of another woman who stole her Doctor's affections but soon she'd realised that River was no threat to the friendship that she had with him because, it became obvious, whatever they had between them was something very different. She had watched them with curiosity as he'd gained the confidence to flirt with her (admittedly often at inappropriate, life-threatening moments but flirt none the less) and now as he started to finally allow himself to get close to her. It was almost exactly the way Rory had fallen in love with her. The awkwardness, the shyness, the teasing, the complete lack of knowledge of what to do with his arms at any given moment… The only difference was that Rory had been eleven at the time. Still, River seemed to understand that this was a transition he had to go through and Amy was constantly amazed at the level of patience with which she treated him.

As Amy looked across at this newly-forming couple she saw the Doctor lean in and whisper something to River that made her throw her head back and laugh deeply as the Doctor looked very pleased with himself at making this happen. As River regained her composure and turned back to talk to the Doctor she caught Amy's gaze and raised one eyebrow. The younger woman felt herself blush slightly as she realised she'd been caught watching her friends interact.

"It's rude to stare Amy!" River scolded lightly with amusement in her voice as both she and the Doctor turned to face the red-head and her husband.

"Sorry… I was just urm… We were just talking…." Amy spluttered slightly. River always made her feel like the kid who'd been caught talking during an exam.

"Oh gossiping as well, huh?" River added in a mock-stern voice as she folded her arms. "Should we give them something to gossip about, sweetie?" She asked the Doctor. He rubbed his arm nervously as he glanced firstly at River then across to the Ponds before gulping slightly and giving River a small nod. She smiled at him as he lent over and took her face in his hands and pressed a very gentle kiss to her mouth.

"See, I knew it!" Amy yelped with delight as she hit Rory on the arm to express her feelings at this new development. "You know what this means?" She continued excitedly.

"Oh no. What does it mean?" The Doctor asked nervously as he and River broke apart.

"Double dates!" Amy laughed as a collective groan passed around the rest of the group.

**Review? You know it's what River would do.**


	16. Left Side

Not One For The Diary

Memory sixteen: Left side. 

**Disclaimer:** Siiigh, it still ain't mine. Deal with it.

_**Author's note: This is another later River early doctor one. Let me know what you all would prefer next & I'll go with popular consensus for the next part ('cause I'm nice like that). I know I haven't done any early River for a while so if you miss it let me know. Thanks for all the reviews/alerts and everything, it makes me very happy inside to know people are enjoying. **_

The Doctor lay in the bed trying not to shake. River had invited him into her bed and then disappeared to get ready and so now he just lay there trying not to display his nerves. He didn't think anything…Romantic was going to happen. Nothing sex-y. This was literally just sharing a bed tonight. They'd agreed to take things slow. And, still, he was completely terrified. This woman, and the effect she had on him, was completely and utterly terrifying.

"What do you think you're doing?" River said sharply as she stood in the open door way. She gazed at him, questioning him with those sharp eyes of hers and he gasped in panic. Surely it was impossible to misread a direct invitation? _Will you sleep in my bed tonight_ she'd said. He couldn't have got that wrong, could he?

"Urm… I'm in your bed. Like you asked me to… Remember?" He stuttered unsurely as he pulled the covers around himself and sat upright.

"I know that." She smiled slightly at his obvious confusion. "But I mean what are you doing **there**?" She tilted her head to one side and lent her weight against the door frame and stared at him. He swallowed, hard. She'd obviously put some effort into trying not to look sexy after their talk about _taking things slow_ but it wasn't working. Her plain vest top and tiny shorts, although not the traditional seduction outfit, still let him see just enough to set his imagination whirring.

"I… I don't understand." He managed to mutter as he dragged his eyes up to her face. Face- look at her face.

"You are in the wrong place." She reiterated with her traditional maddening obscurity but then took pity on the man seeing the confusion plastered all over his face. "You sleep on the right sweetie." She murmured gently and he let out a sigh of relief at finally knowing what she was talking about.

"No, River. I sleep on the left. Over nine hundred years of doing so. Trust me when I say that I sleep on the left." He smiled at her knowingly.

"Well trust me," she muttered as she slunk towards him and he recoiled slightly on the bed "in all the times we've shared a bed you've never had an issue with me sleeping on the left. You've always, **always** slept on the right." She grinned as she snuck herself into the tiniest space that was left on the left side of the bed so only her elbow and leg actually touched the mattress while the rest of her body fell over him. He felt his breath catch in his chest as he felt her soft skin caress his. As she shifted her weight slightly he felt her breasts brush against his chest and he pushed himself backwards, away from her, quickly before she could notice the physical effect that this contact had on him.

"See, I told you you slept on the right side." River grinned as she wriggled into her now empty side of the bed and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"I suppose I do now." He grumbled as he turned onto his back and exhaled heavily towards the celling. Bloody woman was changing everything about him, he thought to himself sulkily.

"It's not so bad is it?" She whispered sweetly as she slinked one arm around his middle and pulled him closer to her, resting her head upon his chest so her hair gently tickled the bottom of his chin. He smiled gently the sensation of her being so close to him, fitting so perfectly into him.

"Well… I suppose I could get used to it."

**Review and help me through my 12 hour shift tomorrow. Please?**


	17. Kissing Friends

Not One For The Diary

Memory seventeen: Kissing Friends

**Disclaimer: **I don't think anyone thinks I own these characters but if you do- Hah! Fooled ya.

_**Author's Note: Wow. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed that last chapter or has just started alerting this story you are all genuinely brilliant and helped me through my day of being shouted at by rude customers. Here (as requested) is some early River for you. If anyone has any more requests or anything more specific then feel free to drop me a note and I will do my best to do it for you. Other than that, enjoy…**_

"Doctor!" River shouted so loudly that several heads turned as he stepped out his blue box and she launched herself across the playground towards him. When she reached the spot where he stood with a slightly perplexed expression on his face she threw herself full-pelt at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He swayed slightly but regained his composure quickly. He should be used to it by now really, he thought, River always jumped and he always caught her. Always.

"Ah. Hello River." He gasped, slightly winded. "Fancy seeing you here." He smiled his lopsided smile and she lent in to kiss him eagerly but was met instead with his hand covering her lips. She rolled her eyes as she waited for the inevitable question. "How old are you River?" He asked quickly as his eyes scoured her uniform and the school surrounding them.

"I'm eighteen. And three months if that helps." She replied cheekily as she tried once again to manoeuvre her mouth closer to his but was still met with his hand instead.

"And how long have we been… Ah… Kissing friends?" He asked pointedly. River sighed and pouted at the direct question but he ignored her and waited, not so patiently, for her answer. He'd learnt the hard way, from having her jumping on him and trying to snog him since she was about fifteen, that he had to quickly and firmly establish she was old enough when he met her around this age. She should have a sticker or something, he thought wryly.

"One year, five months and about…" She did some quick maths in her head. "Sixteen days." She smiled at him but saw he still needed some convincing. "You took me to Paris and kissed me under a fireworks display and it was wonderful and romantic although I'm still not entirely convinced it wasn't just a tactic to stop me complaining about the hat shop you insisted on dragging me round for **three hours.**" She grinned broadly. "Now have I passed the test and do I get a kiss?" She bit lightly at the hand in front of her until he moved it out of the way.

She quickly took advantage of this freedom and pushed her lips onto his and felt him smile in response. He loved that about her- that no matter how many times they kissed she still met him with the same fierce possessive passion she had that first time. No matter how many times he kissed her or was kissed by her she still clung to each one as it could be her last.

"So why have you summoned me here?" He asked when they finally broke for air.

"Just that really." She grinned as she climbed down from him but still held him close.

"You called me across all of time and space for a quick snog?" He asked and immediately wondered why he sounded so surprised, this was River he was talking about.

"Basically." She shrugged. "Some of the other girls didn't believe you existed, seemed to think I was lying… Or crazy." River raised her voice as she shot a glance over her shoulder at the knot of girls who stood whispering and pointing at them from a corner of the field.

"Oh River, how many times have I told you to play nicely with the other children?" He teased her gently but she looked away, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Well I would if they weren't such complete bitches." She muttered darkly and he saw a flash of pain cross through her eyes. Nobody else would have noticed but she was his River just as much as he was her Doctor and there was nothing she could hide from him. As much as she would insist that no one could bully River Song and that she didn't want stupid friends like _that _anyway he knew it couldn't be easy for her. So much cleverer than her piers and so much older than her years it must have been awfully lonely for her to be stuck at this school.

"Want to go away for a bit?" He asked her gently. He wouldn't press the issue. Even now, at this young age, she was so self-reliant and fiercely strong he knew a conversation about her feeling vulnerable would just end in her storming off and him feeling rubbish so he did the next best thing- a distraction. "I could have you back in time for your next class." He enticed her gently.

"We're going to get somewhere on time? Does that mean I get to fly her?" River laughed, all anger and sadness instantly gone from her voice at the thought of an adventure.

"There is no way I'm letting an **eighteen year old** drive my TARDIS." He spat. "Three months or not."

"I've done it before," River sulked. "It's not my fault I'm a quick learner." She pouted at him and he merely rolled his eyes in response.

"Well come on… Where shall we go anyway?" He changed the subject quickly as he held the door open for her to step inside.

"As long as it's with you I don't mind." She smiled, relaxing finally as they shut themselves inside the TARDIS. "Surprise me."

"I'll try my best but I never manage to surprise you as much as you constantly surprise me… My brilliant River Song." He kissed her gently as he pushed the lever and the TARDIS sprang into action leaving a group of girls staring open-mouthed at the placed they could have sworn that funny River Song with her strange stories had just been standing.

**Reviews make me do a happy dance. Just so you know.**


	18. School Trip

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighteen: School Trip

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any Doctor Who stuff, history, museums or anything else you have want to accuse me of.

**_Author's Note: Okay I wasn't going to do another school fic quite so close to the previous one but then SerenBee said to me "_You could send her on a school trip which the doctor crashes pretending to be a museum guide" _and really, who can resist that sort of prompt? So all credit/blame for this idea is completely on Becki :p haha. It follows loosely on from the last part, maybe a few months or so later. Also, I know little about archaeology and what I do know is mostly from Wikipedia so sorry if that's apparent in this part. That's about it. Enjoy!_**

"You have got to be kidding me." River muttered. She had frozen to the spot and closed her eyes tightly in the vain hope that when she opened them she would have been horribly mistaken and hallucinating due to exam stress. Slowly she counted to three and gingerly opened her eyes. Nope. Still there. Still just standing there in his ridiculous bow-tie holding a fossil between his finger and thumb, squinting at it and looking worryingly like he was going to drop it. Sighing heavily River stepped forward away from her group and marched up to him.

"Hello young lady, come to see my fossil? It's very fossil-ey." The Doctor announced as he saw her approaching him, all hands-on-hips and bad moody. Oh dear. This didn't look good. Somehow whenever he tried to surprise her she seemed to just get mad.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed quickly whilst looking around to see if anyone else had noticed the appearance of her strange man.

"I work here. Look I have a bowtie. Everyone who works in a museum has a bowtie. Also a shiny name badge." He flashed her the name badge that he had pinned to his chest and he looked so pleased with himself she felt her resolve melt slightly.

"Sweetie," She began gently. "You don't work here and we both know it. Now what are you doing here?"

"Wanted to see you." He muttered very quietly as he gazed down at his feet and shuffled them slightly. She smiled and felt her stomach flip at just how ridiculously _cute_ he was sometimes but almost instantly shook her head and tried to shake the idea away.

"I know. Trust me, _I know._ I miss you too but this research trip is crazily important for my paper and if I don't get a brilliant mark on that there is no way I'm getting onto the archaeology course" she paused as she head the Doctor mutter something that sounded suspiciously like _'bloody archaeologists'_ and River raised an eyebrow. "Want to repeat that?" She asked dangerously. "Hmm… thought not! Anyway you're still in my bad books for the amount of grovelling to the head I had to do after you dropped me off nearly a week late last time."

"Oh yeah. Sorry about that." He scratched his neck nervously as he avoided her stare. "Minor glitch with the co-ordinates. Won't happen again." He grinned at her but got no response. "Oh come on River I bet I could easily help you with…" He leaned across and grabbed the clip board she held out of her hands despite her protests. "Hmm 'to what extent can our understanding of the breakout of the third world war be tainted by the destruction of evidence…' Gosh that sounds dull!" He announced as he flicked through the remainder of her sheets.

"It sounds like what I need to be collecting data on!" River growled as she snatched back her clipboard and held it possessively to her chest.

"Are you sure you don't want to sneak off with me into a broom cupboard instead?" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and River tried not to grin. He always made it so difficult to stay mad at him.

"Don't you need to interrogate me first?" River asked, all too used to being shunned until she could prove she was 'of age' as the Doctor put it.

"Nope. Scanned you." The Doctor grinned, clearly pleased with himself. "Much easier to do when you're not running at me at top speed!" River laughed as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Miss Song!" A voice called from across the room and River immediately froze and looked incredibly guilty. "Are you going to re-join the party or are you having too much fun over there?" The headmaster called as the other girls laughed loudly.

"Sorry I-" River began but stopped quickly as her breath caught at the sight of the Doctor walking quickly across the room towards the man who was in control of the rest of her education. She exhaled deeply, muttered a quick prayer to anyone who may be listening and ran after the Doctor.

"Completely my fault." He was announcing when she caught up with him. "I was just picking the brain of this young lady on the breakout of world war three. Knows a lot about it she does, great student. And I know a lot too-about artefacts and things… Due to me working in a museum with the bowtie and the name badge and all." River snuck a glance across at the head master. He looked confused but like he might, hopefully, be buying it. "Now if you don't mind I would like to continue this very important and educational debate with Miss Song in my office if that's not too much to ask. I will return her before you need to leave the museum." He nodded quickly and placed one hand on River's arm guiding her away from the rest of her class-mates and stunned teacher.

"Slight problem Sweetie… You don't have an office." River muttered quietly as she fell into step with The Doctor.

"True. But as I may have mentioned earlier I've had my eye on a _very _nice broom cupboard." He flashed her his biggest grin and she bit down hard on her bottom lip to stop herself from shrieking with laughter and ruining their cover.

"I take it we're not going to work on my paper, are we?" She sighed, resigned to the fact.

"Oh not a chance miss Song!" He smirked as he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the cupboard.

**Review? Pretty please with a cherry on top?**


	19. The Usual

Not One For The Diary.

Memory Nineteen: The Usual

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Doctor Who. I don't even own the box sets, anyone want to buy them for me?

_**Author's Note: Here's a bit of young Doctor/older (I always feel really rude writing that, I hate that people make an issue out of Alex's age, I just mean older than her younger self not older than the Doctor. Obviously. Grr at stupid people etc) River. Nothing else particularly to explain so here y'go- enjoy…**_

"Well, I came." The Doctor announced as he sidled up next to River as she stood at the bar looking a bit too gorgeous for his liking. She had a long, green, _very_ fitted dress with a slit in the side that went all too far up her legs. Her hair was down and her curls fell over her face in the way he was sure she must know he liked it best. River, dressed like this, in a bar… It all made him very uncomfortable. He had a feeling she was trying to seduce him and nobody seduced him. Well, except River. Once. Or maybe twice. But definitely not again.

"Of course you did sweetie. You always come." She raised her eyebrow slightly and he felt himself blush deeply at her double entendre. Okay… Maybe three times.

"A bar River?" He asked sharply, trying to cover his complete embarrassment at the fact she could still, somehow, reduce him to putty in her hands despite their very few meetings.

"Yes sweetie, a bar." She replied with heavy sarcasm. "I'm sure that at some point in your hundreds of years you've frequented one. Now I'll go grab a seat and you get us some drinks. I'll have the usual." She grinned at him as she turned and walked away, grabbing a quick squeeze of his bum as she did. The Doctor gulped. _That was new. _

"The usual." He muttered to himself, a completely perplexed expression on his face as he did. "What in the universe is that supposed to mean?"

"What can I get you?" The grumpy bartender asked bluntly and cut into the Doctor's train of thought.

"She asked for the usual." The Doctor said looking hopeful that this man would have more luck interpreting River's instructions that he did.

"Well, what does she usually drink?" He replied with the air of someone talking to a child.

"I… Urm… I don't know…." He stuttered as he glanced across at River who sat perched on a stool at a high table re-applying her make up and pretending she didn't know he was staring at her.

"Ah, first date?" The barman replied with a knowing look.

"Date? Oh no no no… Not a date. Although this does look like a date. Do you think it's a date?" He rambled nervously.

"Just choose one of these mate." The barman slid him a list across the bar with a roll of his eyes. "Ladies like that, they like cocktails." He informed him. The doctor glanced down the list.

"Sex on the beach… slippery nipple… Harvey wallbanger… Between the sheets… Do you have anything that sounds a bit less, urm, _dirty_?" The Doctor asked hesitantly. "I don't want her getting the wrong impression."

"How about a margarita?" He replied with another roll of his eyes. "You should be safe with that."

"Sounds perfect. I'll have two!" He replied enthusiastically, relieved that the whole ordeal was over.

"Ooh thank you sweetie, my favourite." River called as she saw him start to walk across towards their table.

"You don't know what it is yet!" He said with a hint of resentment in his voice.

"You always buy me a margarita." She laughed at the look of his confusion as she took a sip of her drink, coating the glass in red lipstick as she did.

"But how did you know… I mean even I didn't know…" He sighed and took a sip too. He coughed slightly, unaccustomed to the taste of alcohol.

"It's all very… Well how can I explain it to you? Timey wimey. You bought me one today and I liked it so now you'll always buy me one. You've always bought me one so I like them. You'll get used to it sweetie." She teased him gently.

"So do we do this…" He indicated to their surroundings and the drinks. "Often?"

"Oh yes." She smiled warmly.

"And is it… a date?" He almost whispered.

"Ahh spoilers, Doctor." She laughed again.

"But I always buy you that drink?" He confirmed quickly, wanting to get it right.

"Most of the time." She paused a second watching him while he took another sip of his drink. "But just to let you know, I also enjoy a screaming orgasm." The Doctor choked slightly as he placed his glass back on the table.

"Is that another cocktail?" He asked, trying to regain his composure.

"I'll let you decide that, sweetie." She murmured with a small wink. He stared at her in complete awe for a few seconds before letting out a long laugh. River grinned at him, enjoying seeing him finally relax.

"Oh River you are an awful tease!" He announced joyfully.

"I know, I learnt from the best." She smiled.

"Ah let me guess- I was busy that day?" He asked, remembering one of their previous conversations.

"Oh no. You were _definitely _there." She purred gently as she reached her hand across the table to his. Maybe being seduced wasn't so bad, he smiled.

**Please take a mini moment to review. Virtual cocktails for anyone who does ;) **


	20. Photo Booth

Not One For The Diary

Memory twenty: Photo booth. 

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Doctor Who it would have to be broadcast past the watershed!

_**Author's note: Oooh 20th part, wow. This is like the longest fic I've ever written (especially in this short a space of time!) and I would just like to thank everyone for following especially those of you who take the time to review- much loves to you all. This one is set sometime during series 6ish in my head but it doesn't really matter too much where you place it as long as it's reasonably early . Enjoy…**_

"You two go first!" Amy squealed loudly as she pushed the Doctor and River forwards. River turned to her other half and rolled her eyes slightly but grinned none the less. She saw him smile worriedly back towards her. The night hadn't turned out as disastrously as they'd first worried it would as Amy had finally managed to bully them into one of her double date nights. Luckily River had had the foresight to suggest that they visit an inter-galactic fun fair that had enough rides to keep even Amy occupied and so far all the older couple had had to do was wander along behind the hyperactive red-head and her long-suffering husband. Now, however, they were being pushed towards a small box closed off with a curtain.

"Remind me what we're doing?" River called behind her as Amy pushed them both into the booth and onto the small stool so that River landed onto the Doctor's lap and grinned sheepishly at him.

"You're having your photos taken!" Amy replied from behind the curtain she was pulling closed.

"And why are we doing this?" The Doctor replied quickly.

"Because," Amy sighed as she poked her head back through the curtain "It's what couples do. And I said so. Now get on with it." She laughed as she retreated and put her money into the machine as it whirred into action.

"And what are we supposed to do in these photos?" River asked nervously as the white light blinked at her.

"Fine I'll talk you through it!" Amy huffed. This was hard work. "Just smile normally for the first one…. No, normally!" Amy shouted as she'd peaked in to see them both sitting so formally they could have been posing for a Victorian picture. They laughed loudly as the flash went off. "Now… pull a stupid face!" She instructed and, through looking slightly dubious about doing so, they both put their fingers in their mouths and pulled while sticking their tongues outs. "Good. Now you need to have one looking meaningfully into each others eyes." Amy recited and saw to her delight that they obeyed her instructions. Well, they were looking at each other. More trying to suppress their giggles than yearning for each other but it was close enough. "Now for the last one you need to kiss!" She pulled herself away from the curtain to give them some privacy as their lips moved towards each other. They kissed gently and River was vaguely aware of the flashing light but she soon lost track of where or when she was as he pulled her closer towards him and deepened their kiss, entwining his hands around her waist as she lost hers in his gloriously messy hair.

"Ahem. Excuse me." They looked up guiltily to see Rory looking exceedingly awkward as he pulled back the curtain. "Amy says you can stop now and it's our turn to have our photos done." He muttered quickly as Amy laughed in the background.

"Oh yes. Sorry about that." The Doctor announced as he pushed himself forward, straightening his clothes while River merely smirked and ran a thumb around the edges of her lips trying to correct the lipstick that she was sure was now smudged all over her mouth.

As they stood outside waiting for their photos to develop the Doctor gently put his arm around her shoulders and they listened to the giggles of the younger couple inside the booth. She leaned into him slightly and closer her eyes, just enjoying the closeness.

"Oh look the pictures are ready!" The Doctor announced in his usual enthusiastic manner as he lunged forward to pick them up but River knocked his arm out of the way and got there first.

"Just checking I look okay first" She said as she pressed them to her chest to stop him seeing.

"I know you look just lovely." He insisted but she shook her head and cupped one hand around the strip of photos so he couldn't see them. As she gazed down on them he heard her breath catch in her chest.

"River are you okay?" He asked quickly, stepping closer to her.

"I'm fine." She mumbled as she looked up at him but she saw tears in her eyes before she broke away to look back down at the images of themselves.

"What is it, what's wrong?" His voice filled with concern.

"Nothing. Nothing. I'm just being a stupid sentimental old fool." She sniffed slightly.

"Oh," He exclaimed in a rare moment of understanding. "I don't let you keep photos do I?" She shakes her head sadly.

"Not so much a rule just one of those things that never…" She trails off staring deeply at the picture of them. She can **see** it and that must mean it's real. See the love in his eyes. See the laughter etched deep in her face. She'd never known, never been sure, how much of it was true any more. She had re-read her diary so often that the words were smudged and the facts blended seamlessly with her imagination, her dreams. Those words were all she'd had for so long and she lived for them, breathed only for them but words could only take her so far. She could never properly capture that smile he saved only for her no matter how many times she tried to write it down.

"You do look beautiful." He whispered as he stood behind her. She jumped, she'd been so lost in thought she didn't even notice him walking up behind her and placing his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her close.

"We look happy." She smiled as she lent back into him.

"We are, aren't we?" He asked and she nodded as he peppered tiny kisses along her neck. "You really don't have any other pictures of us?" He muttered into her skin.

"Never had time to take them." She laughed lightly.

"Not even one with you in a white dress?" He whispered into her ear.

"Ah… Spoilers." She whispered in return as she turned herself into his embrace so they were facing each other. "But really, do you think I could get away with wearing white? You must know me better than that by now Sweetie." She kissed him gently and felt him chuckle.

"No chance of making an honest woman of you is there?" He held her close as he felt her slip the photos she was holding into her bag to be able to link both her hands behind his back.

"Not that honest." She muttered into his ear. "Where would the fun in that be?"

**Review? Oh go on. Go on, go on, go on.**


	21. Just A Jealous Guy

Not One For The Diary

Memory Twenty-One: Just a jealous guy

**Disclaimer:** I bow down to the all-mighty beings who own Doctor Who and thank them for letting me play with their creations.

_**Author's Note: Well hello sweeties. This idea kind of hijacked me this morning & won't let me do anything else until I write it. Ah, well who wants to do housework anyway? I imagine this being when River is in her mid to late twenties and I don't know how anyone else perceives it but I always imagine her having a somewhat normal life between visits from the Doctor. So that's the explanation anyway. Enjoy… **_

The Doctor ran up to River's back door excitedly. He loved surprising her and today he had an extra-special adventure he wanted to take her on. He thought happily of how she'd be so pleased to see him, wanting to see that grin stretch across her face as he placed his hand on the door handle. He paused momentarily as he heard the front door open and River talking to someone. He wanted to surprise her, sure, but he'd imagined her being alone when he did it. Frowning slightly he paused to listen.

"Hello sweetie." She muttered as she closed the door softly. "And where have you been all night? Been out chasing those birds again have you? You naughty boy!" He heard her laugh gently and felt something contract inside him. Sure they'd never said… But he'd always assumed that he was… He thought he was the only man in her life. I mean he wasn't stupid, he knew she had a life when he wasn't there but the just never thought of her being with someone else. Never thought when he dropped her off she had someone waiting there to hold her and kiss her and… He stopped his train of thought quickly because it was making him feel slightly sick. Hating himself for doing it he pressed his ear to the door and listened to the conversation inside.

"Do I not get a cuddle then?" River was talking still. Her partner didn't respond and the Doctor closed his eyes against the images of her kissing this nameless, faceless man that filled his head. _Bet he's ginger_ he thought bitterly. The silence seemed to go on forever and he was trying to pull himself away, trying to convince himself to just get into the TARDIS and come back another day when she was alone but his body refused to comply. He was routed there listening with a sick fascination. "Shall we get you fed sweetie?" She cooed as he heard her footsteps clatter into the room he was next to. Fed? River didn't cook. His brain spun faster and he felt it try to process all this new information, this new _domestic_ River he was encountering.

Finally, after a few moments of listening with baited breath as she pottered about in the kitchen, he gave up trying to understand these new developments. It was too much, he decided, and it hurt him to think of her with anyone else. He turned to walk back to the TARDIS thinking maybe he'd give it a month or so and try again when he heard to door open behind him. Closing his eyes and screwing up his face slightly in frustration at having been discovered he froze to the spot.

"Doctor?" River called in surprise. She didn't understand why he was slinking away from her back door rather than bounding through it like he normally did.

"Ah. Yes. River." He coughed nervously as he turned to face her. "I'm just off." He gestured over his shoulder to his waiting TARDIS. "Be back soon. And it's fine, I understand." He smiled bravely at her before trying to turn and leave once again.

"What?" River gasped as she grabbed hold of one of his arms to stop him escaping. "You're going? And what's fine? What are you talking about?"

"Look it's fine. I understand. I would never ask you to wait for me or to be alone. It just came as a bit of a surprise, that's all." He babbled. "It doesn't change anything River I just need a little bit of time to process-"

"Again I ask; what the hell are you talking about?" She almost shouted.

"Your friend. Your man. The one you were-" He stopped abruptly as she did something he hadn't expected at all. She laughed. She laughed and laughed.

"Oh shut up!" She managed to gasp when the laughter finally subsided and she reached up and pulled him close to her and kissed him. She felt his hands flail madly around her side, clearly torn between kissing her back and pulling away. She sighed slightly as she broke away from the kiss. "You are a stupid man."

"I beg your pardon?" He replied, shocked. This woman. First she is in there _kissing_ and what not with someone else then she kisses him and then she calls him stupid. He just didn't have a clue what to do with her.

"I said you're stupid, and you are. And I have a cat." She said simply.

"I.. You have a what?" He stuttered.

"A cat. He's called sweetie." River smiled gently.

"You call your cat sweetie?" The Doctor shook his head looking baffled.

"You call your TARDIS sexy." She said without missing a beat. Tit for tat. "And I would like to point out that **I** never get jealous of your TARDIS or any of the other people you have running around with you."

"I wasn't jealous. And please don't compare my TARDIS to a cat." He murmured sulkily and they stared at each other for a few moments, trying to regain their composure. "It was really just a cat?" He asked in a much quieter voice, hardly daring to look into her face.

"Of course it was." She murmured as she put her hands around his neck and pulled his forehead so it rested on hers.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as his lips were against hers, grazing them ever so gently.

"I'm yours." She whispered in reply.

"You're what?" He pulled back quickly, eyes raking her face for conformation of what she'd just said.

"I'm yours." River repeated gently, smiling at him deeply. "Always."

"I couldn't ask-" He began but she reached one finger up to his lips and he swallowed the rest of his sentence.

"You don't need to. There could never be anyone else." She kissed him deeply and he sighed into her, relief flooding his body. "But I'm keeping the cat if that's okay with you."

**Please review. It's just me and the cat today and she has very little in the way of intelligent conversation. **


	22. Someone Call A Doctor

Not One For The Diary

Memory Twenty-Two: Someone Call A Doctor

**Disclaimer:** I only own the idea, the rest I borrow.

_**Author's Note: Urgh. Feeling ill today and also v fed up that Alex is going to be appearing at a convention near me on Sunday and I probably won't be able to go *cries* so I'm hoping writing this will cheer me up! Also if anyone has any nice ideas that could be worked into this story send 'em my way to cheer me up too! This is an early doctor/older River reasonably-series 6ish one. Enjoy m'dears…**_

"Amy. We do not need help. I'm a nurse. I can deal with this!" Rory said imploringly as his wife ran around the console in a good imitation of the Doctor in one of his more manic moods.

"Fine. You can just go and deal with it then!" Amy snapped back, not taking her eyes from the levers in front of her that she had no idea how to work.

"Fine I will then!" Rory announced as he turned and stomped away. Amy closed her eyes in frustration and counted to ten. Before she'd even reach four, however, she heard the distinct sound of the Doctor shouting and throwing things from the room that Rory had just entered. A second later she heard his footsteps scurrying back towards where she stood.

"Glad to see you dealt with it there." Amy muttered sarcastically.

"Okay so we might need some help." He agreed resentfully. "But from who? Who do you call in this kind of situation?" Amy paused for a second to think.

"River!" She announced finally. "She's the only one who can deal with him when he's like this."

"But how can we contact her? And isn't she in prison somewhere?" Rory asked anxiously.

"Well that's never stopped her before." Amy laughed. "And the TARDIS will be able to contact her. She can hear us… Urm, excuse me TARDIS?" Amy began nervously. She felt exceedingly stupid talking to a box whether it had a consciousness or not. "Could you possibly call River for us? We really need her." Amy paused expectantly. For a moment nothing happened and the couple exchanged defeated glances before the phone began to ring. Amy grabbed it greedily and held it to her ear.

"Hello sweetie." River murmured seductively down the phone. Amy rolled her eyes slightly; surely she must get bored of saying that?

"River it's me, Amy." She cut her off quickly before she fell on the receiving end of River's flirting abilities.

"What's wrong?" River asked quickly, her voice transformed and business-like all of a sudden.

"It's the Doctor. He's… Well we think he's ill. We need you River. He needs you." Amy said, pleading silently that she would agree.

"Okay, lower the shields and I'll be straight there." River replied quickly.

"Lower the shields? How do I do that?" The red-head asked, gazing down at the controls in confusion.

"Honestly why am I the only person he teaches these things to?" River snapped impatiently. "Don't worry I'll do it remotely."

"You can do-" Amy began but the line had all ready gone dead and a second later River appeared in front of them clutching her vortex manipulator to her wrist and wearing a worried expression on her face.

"Right, what's wrong?" She asked abruptly, looking around for signs of the Doctor.

"He's been lying in bed all day, he's sweating and incoherent but he won't let us do anything to help him." Rory informed her.

"Of course he won't, stupid man. Is he in our room?" River asked but walked off purposely before anyone could respond.

"They have a _room_?" Rory whispered in surprise but Amy merely shrugged in response.

XoxoX

"River…" The Doctor groaned as he vaguely noticed the shape in the doorway.

"Oh sweetie, you're sick." River gushed as she walked over to the bed and placed one hand gently on his forehead. At her touch he squirmed like a child trying to avoid having their temperature taken. "Hush now" she soothed him. "Has anyone made you a cup of tea?"

"I don't need tea, I'm clearly dying of something here. There's nothing you can do." He muttered melodramatically. River laughed loudly.

"You aren't dying and you know it. You have flu. A very nasty strain of flu to be able to get into your system undoubtedly but flu none the less. Now I'm going to make you a cup of tea and you rest-"

"River!" He cut her off and grabbed hold of her arm to stop her from getting up. "Could someone else get me the tea and could you possibly stay with me?" He whispered.

"Anything for you sweetie." She smiled as she kicked her shoes off and pulled herself onto the bed next to him. He groaned slightly with the effort of moving as he practically threw himself onto her wrapping his arms around her and snuggling into her chest.

"Will you tell me a story?" He shivered into her as she rubbed his back gently.

"Of course. What story would you like? I can get one from the library or-"

"One of our stories. Could you tell me one of our stories? I'm sick I won't remember any of it tomorrow." He pleaded and she sighed. She couldn't resist him when he was being cute.

"Fine but just this once." She smiled as she kissed the top of his head. "But first… If you two are going to hover outside can you make yourself useful and make him a cup of tea?" River announced towards the doorway and laughed as she heard the scurry of feet running down the hallway. "Once upon a time…"

"Does it have to start that way?" The Doctor murmured vaguely.

"Everything starts once upon a time." She whispered to him as he fought to keep his eyes open. "Once upon a time there was a mad man with a blue box and a young girl with a taste for adventure and they fell in love and travelled the universe together and … And they lived happily ever after. The end." She sighed contentedly, knowing he wasn't listening any more as his eyes finally closed.

XoxoX

Amy and Rory returned a few moments later with tea (and biscuits to apologise to River for eavesdropping) and they paused momentarily at the door, unsure of whether to go in or not.

"Should we just… leave it here?" Rory asked nervously.

"Don't be such a wimp. They're not going to be _doing anything_. He's sick." Amy insisted and pushed Rory through the door first. "Oh look at that. We'll just leave it here for them." She smiled as Rory placed the tray down beside the bed where the Doctor and River both lay fast asleep, arms completely entwined in each other.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Rory questioned as they retreated out of the room.

"He will now she's here." Amy smiled knowingly.

**Please review or send River to look after me. Either is fine! **


	23. Scars

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory Twenty-Three: Scars

**Disclaimer:** Although I own none of the characters on Doctor who I do own a fair few scars.

_**Author's Note: This is a middle-time fic. I like them. They make me happy. I still feel ill. That is all. Enjoy…**_

"How are you feeling River?" The Doctor called as he hovered in the door way, fighting between his desire to run and check on River's progress and caution at not wanting to be shouted at by a River in pain. She was always at her most testy when she'd been hurt.

"I'm okay sweetie." River winced as she sat up gingerly in the bed. "Just need a few more hours to heal properly and I'll be all back to normal. Stupid rocks… Who knew they were so jagged?" She tried to smile but he flinched at the memory of her latest fall, the latest injury she'd encountered whilst trying to fight his battles with him.

"Can I come in?" He asked hesitantly, still nervous of her reaction.

"Of course." She grinned as he ran forward to where she was lying. He stroked her face gently as she lay there. Even after all she'd been through today and all the pain she was clearly in she still looked beautiful. Her hair was pulled back, her make up removed and her clothes soaked in blood and yet she was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

"Can I have a look?" The Doctor asked her indicating toward the area across her stomach that had taken the most recent hit. She nodded slightly and bit her lip preparing for the pain when he lifted the covers back around her wound. He kissed her gently as he pulled the duvet back and lifted her top to examine the extent of her injuries. She hissed slightly as the air hit her but her face was set into that fierce resolve he knew so well. He tried to hide his gasp as he saw just how much damage her beautiful body had taken.

She had a series of long gashes running along the left side of her body from when she had collided with the rocks earlier and although they were healing quicker than a normal person's wounds would due to his help they still looked painfully deep. He ran his hands around the edges of them, wishing he could heal her.

"It's not as bad as it looks." She whispered, catching his eye and giving him a cheeky smile. "I've had worse sweetie." She meant these words to reassure him and cheer him up but he looked at her with a pained expression and then quickly went back to studying her stomach.

"I wish you hadn't." He whispered as he felt tears sting the back of his eyes. His hands roamed over the rest of her exposed body feeling the small raised scars that littered it. "Are these all from me?" He asked with pain in his voice.

"Not all of them." River grins. "At least three are from falling off my bike when I was a kid and most of the scrapes I've had I managed to get myself into thank you very much." She teased, trying to make him feel better but she saw that the lines of worry were still etched on his face. River sighed. "I'm proud of my scars sweetie. There's no reason for you to feel bad about them. These are my war wounds- they prove I'm a survivor." She insisted as she looked deeply into his eyes.

"You shouldn't have to survive though; you should be able to live." The Doctor muttered as he looked away.

"I don't know how to live any other way. This is the life I chose, the life I want to live and if it means a few scars then so be it. It doesn't bother me. Does it bother you? Are you not attracted to me now you've noticed all my scars?" She said as her mouth twitched. She had rarely felt less sexy than she did right now- sore, ill and sticky with blood but she knew that he still found her completely irresistible.

"You," He murmured as he leant up to kiss her. "Are the most attractive thing in the known universe, possible even the unknown universe but I'm not too sure because I don't know it." She laughed and he smiled at the look of joy on her face. "And every one of these scars just make you more so." He began to kiss her again, kissing all the places she'd ever been hurt because of him or because of the lifestyle he chose for her. She smiled and entwined her hand into his hair as he did, relaxing to his oh-so-familiar touches and kisses. He looked up at her and tried to be as happy as she was right now. Tried not to think about how every one of these proved how fragile, how breakable, how human she was.

"Will you stop?" River muttered as she slapped him on the back of the head playfully.

"Stop?" The Doctor looked up in confusion, removing his mouth from her arm where it was currently caressing a raised scar that ran across her bicep.

"Not that!" She laughed and he looked instantly relieved. "Will you stop worrying about me?"

"Never!" He announced forcefully. "It's my job."

"I don't need looking after." The young woman sulked.

"That doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying." He smiled and pushed her nose gently. She rolled her eyes but seemed to resign herself to the fact that this was an argument she would never win. He would never stop trying to protect her and never stop hating the fact that she got hurt. And, deep down, she would never want him to.

**Oooh Review you say? That would be very nice thanks :D**


	24. Hitchhiker

Not One For The Diary

Memory Twenty-Four: Hitchhiker

Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine although I take full credit for messing up young River's life. Sorry, sweetie :/

_Author's Note: Many thankyous to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, sorry I haven't got around to replying to everyone but that doesn't mean I'm not exceedingly grateful to all of you! This is a young River & all-knowing Doctor scenario. Enjoy!_

"Where have you taken us, old girl?" The Doctor murmured in confusion as he stroked the console of his TARDIS gently, trying to understand what she was saying to him. "This isn't where I put in this is…" He ran to the doors quickly, pulling them open and sticking his head outside and sniffing around quickly. "Fifty-first century earth. Oh dear… River?" He asked his TARDIS quickly and from her gentle hum he assumed his theory to be correct and promptly stepped outside.

He found himself on an almost deserted stretch of motorway in the near pitch-black. It was cold, late December if he had to hazard a guess, and the only other living soul in sight was a young girl who stood with her back resolutely turned away from him even though she must have heard him appear. She had a backpack slung across her slender back, hiking boots and apparently every piece of clothing she owned covering her body and she held a cardboard sign to her chest. She couldn't have been more than fourteen.

"I was wondering when you'd turn up." The girl shouted backwards without turning her head to face him. There was a harshness to her voice that he was unused to.

"Turn up? Did you call me then, River?" He asked as he took tentative steps towards where she was standing.

"Why would I call you, what's the point? You wouldn't come. No one ever comes for me." She growled at him.

"I do. I will. I'll always come for you River." He announced as he quickened his pace to rush to her side. He saw her face was covered in bruises and her sign said "anywhere". His hearts broke a little inside his chest.

"I suppose you do." She nodded and smiled slightly but it still seems to be tainted with sadness. "You always come and then you always leave again."

"I will always be here when you need me." He murmured imploringly as he crouched down to make his face level with hers.

"No you won't. You can't." She spat as she turned away so he didn't see the tears that threaten to fall. "Because I always need you. You're just like the rest of them."

"I'm not, I swear." The Doctor begged her silently to believe him. "I will never leave you-"

"You have no idea!" River screamed at him as she dropped her sign and began hitting every inch of him she could access. "No idea what it's like for me when you leave, no idea what I have to go through!" He did. He knew all her pain, all her suffering and it didn't make it the tiniest bit better because there was still nothing he could do to make it stop. Their timeline, it couldn't be changed- and it killed him.

"I'm sorry River. I'm so sorry." He whispered as he pulled the young girl's flailing arms in and pulled the rest of her into a tight hug. "I know that I'm awful, useless and that I let you down. If I could stay forever I would. I wish so hard that I could just stay here and live out my life with you but I can't. And I'm sorry." He held her close as she let her tears finally fall.

"So what good are you?" River sobbed. "You're just going to appear every now and then until I'm fixed, until I'm grown-up and finally the woman you love? What use is that to me now?" She threw her words at him. Half of her was afraid she'd thrown away the future that he always dangled in front of her while the other half of her just wanted someone to help her now because otherwise, she feared, she might not make it to become this elusive woman.

"I'm no use at all River Song. I'm a useless old man who can do nothing but watch the girl he loves hurt so badly. I can't fix it and I can't make it go away. I'm no good at any of that. But there is one thing I'm very good at." He spoke quickly, wanting just to wrap her up in his words and carry her off.

"What's that?" River asked in spite of herself.

"I am very good, possibly the best, at running away. I may be a useless old man but I have a very useful blue box over there. I can't fix it but I can take you away. Not forever, although I wish I could, but for a while. What do you say?" She looked at him, her Doctor, her rock, the only thing that had let her make it through this impossible life so far, and she knew he would always be there at moments when she thought she had no way out. She knew he'd always be there to take her away and look after her for as long as he could. And although that wouldn't make this life better maybe, just maybe, him just being there would make it possible for her to survive until a better day.

"Take me away." She whispered as she closed her eyes and took his hand.

Reviews take me to my happy place. Just sayin'.


	25. Sweet Enough

Not One For The Diary

Part Twenty-Five: Sweet enough

**Disclaimer: **So not mine. Really, just not.

_**Author's note: Big mwahs to everyone who has just started reading this. Hello *waves*. I keep having momentary panic attacks that one day I'm going to run out of inspiration for these (I have quite a few more written down and they keep coming to me daily so don't worry just yet, it's just my fear speaking!) so if anyone has any inspiration, ideas or just words to throw at me that would lower my panic. Anyways I'm so glad you're all enjoying this little story! This is a later River/earlier Doctor little momento. Enjoy…**_

River sat at the table in the kitchen of the TARDIS. She wore one of the Doctor's shirts and not a lot else. Her hair was a mess and make up from the night before still sat under her eyes. These were some of her favourite moments. The morning after the night before and the calm before yet another storm. She sat there patiently waiting for the cup of tea that she had demanded about ten minutes ago and tried to resist the desire to drum her fingers on the table.

"How many sugars do you have River?" The Doctor called from across the kitchen where he was standing making a very elaborate display of pouring the water into the cups.

"For someone so clever you have the worst memory in all of time and space." River laughed lightly.

"Hey!" He moaned as he turned around to look at her, pouting slightly. "My memory is not at fault here I've never made you tea before!" River closed her eyes slightly at these words. She felt that all-too-familiar panic rise up inside her. To anyone else it wouldn't be important but to her it marked the beginning of the end. Everything they said, everything they did that would be so normal to anyone else was critical and potentially heart-breaking to her.

"Of course you have!" She smiled, willing this to be true but knowing the answer to be the opposite.

"Nope, never. First time for everything as they say." He grinned at her innocently unaware of the pain that his words caused. She tried to reciprocate but found her smile faltered. "So how many sugars?" He asked again as he turned away to make the tea.

At that moment she decided. She almost leapt from her chair as she moved across the room to where he stood and she grabbed him and spun him around to face her. Before the Doctor, her Doctor, had a moment to respond River attacked him. Her lips bashed his. Not gracefully, not gently but possessively and fuelled with desire. Her hands circled his back, pulling him closer to her- so close he could hardly breathe. As she deepened her kiss with him, letting her tongue forge its way deep inside his mouth, her hands continued to roam the rest of his body exploring him hungrily as if it were their very first kiss.

"Wow." The Doctor gasped as she finally pulled away from him and he had a chance to regain some of the breath that had been knocked out of him. "Well… Wow. What was that for?"

"Just because I can." River smiled as she leaned in to give him another, more gentle, kiss to hide the tears that formed in her eyes as she uttered these words. She could. Now she could kiss him, she could drag him into the bedroom and have her wicked way with him right now if she wanted but next time… maybe not. And the time after that? She didn't even want to think about it. It didn't even bare thinking about. Every morning she had a cup of tea that he made her. Every morning they'd been together that she could remember and that meant… She shook her head quickly wanting to banish those thoughts from her brain completely.

"Nothing new there then." The Doctor laughed and River sighed inwardly. So much new, always a new development. "But back to the important question… Sugar?" He gestured to the half-finished cups still behind him.

"No sugar thank you." She replied quietly. "I'm sweet enough all ready." She murmured as she raised an eyebrow suggestively. He laughed loudly at her declaration and pulled her close once more.

"That you are Doctor Song. I could just eat you all up." He murmured as he kissed her neck hungrily and she laughed, closing her eyes and trying to memorise the sensation, hoping it wouldn't be her last.

**Please review and make it worth me staying up crazy late after work to write this. No pressure ;)**


	26. Playing Hooky

Not One For The Diary

Chapter Twenty-Six: Playing Hooky.

**Disclaimer: **I once owned the Doctor and River. Then I woke up.

_**Author's Note: This one is inspired by me playing hooky to today to go and meet Alex Kingston. Oh yeah, I met Alex Kingston- like how I casually dropped that into conversation**_**? **_**Fricking best day ever (urm I mean ignoring the marriage and birth of my child etc. Ahem…)! Anyways on with the show… Mid time fic here. I imagine River being late 30s/early 40s here. Enjoy**__…_

"Please?" The Doctor begged slightly as he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked across at River who was sprawled across the other side of the bed.

"I can't sweetie." River muttered as she rolled onto her side to face him. "I have to go to work." She stuck out her bottom lip and pulled out her best puppy-dog expression to try to get him to sympathise with her.

"Just this once. One day won't matter." He implored as he shuffled closer to her, running his fingers up and down her body and sending shivers up her spine that she tried her very best to ignore.

"Very important day today. Lot of important things to dig up and analyse and…ugh." She finished throatily as she closed her eyes and lent into his fingers as they drew circles on her thighs lightly.

"What were you saying?" The time lord smirked slightly at the fact he had managed to distract her so thoroughly.

"This is highly unfair." River grumbled as he continued to play her body in the way only he knew how to. "And I'm all ready late. Very, very…" She gulped "late." She finished in a whisper as he pulled her that tiny bit closer and brushed his lips against hers very gently and felt her hips buck towards his. He grinned as she did, enjoying the rare moment of power he exerted over her.

"You aren't going anywhere today Doctor Song." The Doctor growled against her throat as she laughed and twisted her arms around him and threw one leg over his body. He ran his hands up her leg from her ankle until it came to roam over her bum, squeezing it gently. Just as he went to kiss her again her phone rang.

"Shit!" River shouted as she jumped out of bed and ran towards her phone. The Doctor sighed heavily as he threw himself back onto the bed and blew the hair out of his face, annoyed at the interruption.

"Yes." He heard River agreeing quickly on the phone. "Definitely. Well, I can be with you in about-"

"River can't come in today." He cut her off as he snuck up behind her and grabbed the phone out of her hand and held it to his own ear, placing his other hand over her mouth to stifle her protest. "No sorry, she's got to stay at home… Personal problems? Well you could say that. She's been a very bad girl and has to stay here until she can learn to behave herself. Yes. I will let you know when she can come back in. Goodbye." He hung up quickly and grinned broadly at River, clearly very pleased with his actions.

"What" River asked very slowly, trying to control her anger "in the name of sanity did you just do?"

"You're… What do they call it? Hmm…" He pondered it for a moment. "You're playing hooky!" He announced gleefully.

"Do you realise you've probably just lost me my job?" She asked quietly, dangerously.

"Oh it's just a job. You can get another one. Or I can get you one. Either way we'll fix it. Don't panic."

"Don't panic?" River yelled as she walked up to him, poking him in the chest, hard. "Of course I'm going to panic you've-" The Doctor cut her off. He kissed her hard and she melted into his embrace, her brow unfurrowing as she moaned deep in her throat.

"Fine." She panted as they drew apart. "Fine. You win."

"I win? We're playing a game? Brilliant!" His face lit up and she smiled at her doctor. Her wonderful, impossible, crazy, laughable but oh-so loveable Doctor.

"The best kind of game. We both win in the end." She smiled enigmatically as she pushed him back into their bed.

**Oh please review I would love it ever so much :)**


	27. Sulking

Not One For The Diary

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Sulking, 

**Disclaimer:** I own none of these characters *cries* I wish I did.

**_Author's Note: Oh my doctor I went a day without updating *falls over* damn real life getting in my way! But I'm back now so nobody panic. In this part I imagine them living together in the time around when they got married and (in my head anyway) travelled together linearly for a while. So yeah. This part is for _x-Avarice-x _as this was her idea, hope I did it justice! Enjoy…_**

The Doctor was sulking and he wasn't sulking subtly either. He sat in the corner of the room with his back to River, his arms folded and sighed loudly. River rolled her eyes as she turned the levers that piloted the TARDIS and flew her flawlessly towards their destination. She was ignoring him- it was the best thing to do when he was in one of those moods. Plus, she knew that she was in the right. He would come crawling back eventually.

The thing that really annoyed him, the Doctor thought, was that she must have known she had done something wrong and yet she still stood there, probably rolling her eyes, as if she had the moral high ground. _That woman,_ he sighed deeply again. He just couldn't believe that she would do this to him. She knew, she always knew, how much it would upset him and she had done it anyway. He'd let her get away with so much because of her lovely hair, soft skin and the fact that he loved her rather a lot but this… This was a step too far. This crossed the line.

"Well…" He huffed loudly as he finally turned to face her, arms still folded and a very angry expression plastered on his face.

"Well what?" River replied in an equally huffy tone as she leaned back against the TARDIS console and folded her arms in imitation of her husband.

"Well, are you going to apologise?" He demanded.

"No I'm damn well not. I did nothing wrong!" River replied heatedly.

"You know exactly what you did River Song." He stated flatly.

"Oh don't full name me Mr they-call-me-the-doctor-I-don't-know-why-I-call-me-the-doctor-too!" She raised an eyebrow and tried not to smirk.

"Don't annoy me and I won't have to." He muttered sulkily and she sighed, trying to regain her composure.

"Sweetie," She murmured gently as she crossed the room to where he was sitting. "Is this about something bigger going on here, are there some issues we need to talk about?" She asked sincerely as she looked into his eyes.

"No it isn't!" He announced in the same annoyed tone. "It's about you eating my last jammie dodger as you full well know!"

"Oh for heaven's sake!" River snapped, all the concern gone from her eyes. "You are ridiculous. We're married. What's mine is yours and all that. And it's **one jammie dodger.** Can you not see how stupid this is?" If she hadn't been so amazingly frustrated by him she would have laughed.

"It's a matter of principle River. You know they're my favourite and you didn't even ask!" He was on his feet now, pacing back and forwards.

"You are such a child!" River yelled. "You need to learn to share."

"Well if I'm a child what does that make you?" The Doctor retorted.

"That's your best come-back? Seriously?" River rolled her eyes and turned away from him, not wanting to continue this pointless argument. A moment later she heard the door of the TARDIS slam and let out a long sigh. "It's a good job I love him, isn't it? No one else would put up with this." She muttered to herself and the TARDIS hummed in response. "Well apart from you, old girl. We're in the same boat aren't we?" They laughed.

XoxoX

River sat cross-legged on the floor of the library with a large book sprawled across her lap. She'd figured that she'd take some time out to cool down while he stomped his temper off and nothing relaxed her as much as practicing her Old High Galifreyan. The Doctor had been teaching her for a few years now and, although she still wasn't quite on his level, she was a quick study and his native language came easily to her. As she traced the familiar symbols in her leather-bound book she heard a soft knock on the door. Smiling slightly, she shut the book and padded towards the heavy doors. When she opened them, however, she wasn't greeted by the apologetic Doctor that she'd anticipated. In fact at first she thought that she'd imagined the noise until she looked down and saw a packet of jammie dodgers with a note attached to it. She leant forward and picked them both up. The note was written in Old High Galifreyan and took her a couple of seconds longer to read than her own language would but soon she saw it read: _Thank you for putting up with me._

River grinned as she began walking to where she knew he would be. As she reached their bedroom she pushed the door open and, sure enough, she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed looking thoroughly depressed. A part of her was tempted to leave him there to teach him a lesson but the larger part of her just wanted to rush in and wrap her arms around him.

"Is this you apologising?" River asked with a smile as she walked across to where he sat with his head bowed.

"I may have over reacted slightly." He muttered. "But it was my last jammie dodger." She laughed loudly and he risked looking at her, grinning guiltily.

"What do you love more, me or jammie dodgers?" River asked teasingly as she sat on his lap with her legs wrapped around his back, arms around his neck. He thought for a moment.

"You." He finally announced with a grin. River shook her head at the amount of time it had taken him to decide but let out a long laugh.

"I do love you, you crazy old man." She smiled as she kissed him gently.

"And I love you, you biscuit thief." He whispered as they pulled apart.

**Please review. Also let me know what kind of part you want next and I'll do my best to make it happen :)**


	28. Date Night

Not On For The Diary

Memory Twenty-Eight: Date Night

**Disclaimer:** Moffat is king. I own nothing, I merely attempt to copy the characters he has all ready created.

_**Author's Note: Firstly, a million thank yous to everyone who reviewed. Each one makes me so so happy! I realise that I've been doing a lot of mid fics recently so here's an earlier one to balance it out. I imagine River being in her early-mid twenties here. On a side note, is anyone else so excited about River's reveal that concentrating on real life is become REALLY hard? Or am I just a crazy fan girl? Anyway… Enjoy!**_

"Absolutely no way Emma." River stated blankly as she folded her arms and stared at her room mate.

"I thought you might say that but if you just-" Her friend began hesitantly.

"There is no way I'm letting you set me up. I don't need a pity date. I don't need **any **date. The end." River scowled.

"He's a really nice guy River and me and Josh will be there. It would be like a double date. It would be fun!" Emma smiled but River continued to stare at her and raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"Me, you and Josh can go out that's fine. We'll have fun like we normally do but if you try to set me up _again_ then I am not responsible for what I do." She replied flatly.

"I know. I still remember the last guy." Her friend sighed slightly as she shook her head.

"Well I did warn him." River shrugged simply.

"He had to have four stitches in his tongue River!" Emma winced at the idea.

"Well if he will keep trying to stick it down my throat what does he expect?" She retorted as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world. "Plus, I have a _boyfriend_. Why does nobody realise this?"

"A boyfriend who's a good thousand years older than you, shows up once in a blue moon and never sticks around to meet anyone. Yeah we know." Emma sighed wearily, it felt as if she'd had this conversation a thousand times.

"What is that supposed to mean?" River retorted angrily, sitting forward and almost daring her friend to provoke her.

"River, we all love you." Emma tried to sooth her friend. "The only reason we try to set you up is because it's not… normal, this relationship you have. Who knows how many other women he's got on the go out there, pulling the same lines about not being to live out his life with you and answering "spoilers" to any questions he doesn't want to answer? He could have a family, a wife and kids for all you know." She paused at the look of pain on her friend's face. "I don't want to upset you River, none of us do, but we just don't want to see you throw your life away on some guy that could just be playing you for a fool."

River took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She knew her friends had her best intentions at heart but it still hurt that no one else could ever understand the most important relationship in her life and it irritated her beyond belief that they thought it was somehow their job to try to plant doubts in her head regarding him. She knew how much he loved her and she didn't give a damn if no one else did. It had nothing to do with them. Sighing deeply, she took out her communicator that she always carried and typed a quick message, aware that her friend's eyes were still on her- waiting for a reaction.

"Listen Emma," River said sounding much calmer than she felt. "I can't explain to you what me and the Doctor have. It's special. He's the only person that's been there for me my whole life and loved me no matter what I've done or what I've said to him. If you don't believe that it's real then that's up to you and I won't try to tell you otherwise but I'm just going to ask, once again, that you don't try to interfere in my relationship."

"I'm not trying to I just think that maybe if you went out on a couple of dates with a few other, **normal** guys then you'd realise what a real relationship is like." The roommate tried one more time.

"Look, if it really means that much to you I'll go out on a real date tonight." River smiled gently at her friend.

"You mean it River?" Emma gushed. "That's amazing, that's so-" She stopped abruptly at the sound of the doorbell ringing repeatedly.

"Oh thank goodness." River muttered as she jumped out of her seat and rushed to the door. She opened it and saw the Doctor leaning against the wall, his hair was smoothed down, he wore a black suit and matching bowtie and held a single red rose out to her. She grinned broadly as she threw her arms around him.

"I hear you're looking for a date, Miss Song." He muttered into her ear.

"Oh definitely. Emma's been trying to set me up on some awful double date all week." She laughed as she kissed him gently.

"That's very rude." He whispered to River and then announced to her friend who stood staring at them. "Well you're definitely off the wedding guest list." River tried not to laugh as she turned and grinned apologetically at her friend as the Doctor grabbed her hand and dragged her off towards the TARDIS.

"Thank you." She murmured as they walked along hand in hand.

"For what?" The Doctor asked, perplexed.

"The usual. Coming when I call. Being there for me. Teaching my annoying friends a lesson." She laughed lightly.

"My pleasure." He purred as pulled her close to him. "Plus, I wouldn't want to miss date night." He leant down slightly to kiss her but she pulled away. His eyes flew open and he scanned her face, concerned he'd done something wrong.

"Doctor this is our first date, what kind of girl do you think I am?" River grinned, teasing him gently. He closed his eyes softly, remembering the words that had stuck with him since she'd muttered them all those long years ago: _your firsts are my lasts._ And it had proved so true, painfully true. He hated the idea of this being the last time they did this but as he saw the expectant look on her face he found he couldn't be sad. One more date night. He still had all of this night to live through and he wasn't going to let anything taint this memory for either of them.

"Ah but it's not our first date for me." He smiled bravely, not wanting to let her see his feelings. "And I know **exactly **what kind of girl you are." He smirked as she smacked his arm gently but then almost immediately crushed his lips with hers. He loved date nights.

**Review, please? Extra cool points if you spot the Alex Kingston reference.**


	29. Winning

Not One For The Diary

Memory Twenty-Nine: Winning

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Doctor Who I would not be spending every second obsessing over who River is because I would all ready know.

**_Author's Note: urgh I've spent all day editing when I've wanted to be writing. So frustrating. Now firstly, WHOA, thank you everyone who reviewed. I don't think I've ever been so popular. Obviously Alex Kingston references are the way to your hearts- I'll try and work rampant rabbits into one of my upcoming parts ;) This is reasonably early River here, maybe late 20s early 30s? Not too important. Also just a quick warning to my dear _Igneous Pride_ this is going to be fluffy. If you choose to read on don't blame me!_**

"River, wake up I want to play!" The Doctor called as he bounced on the bed. Silly humans always insisted on sleeping so much when there were so many more exciting things that they could be doing.

"Huh? What?" River mumbled sleepily as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"I want to play! We never finished our game last night." He grinned at her as she flopped backwards onto her pillows once more, groaning loudly.

"Oh no… We played enough yesterday sweetie." She mumbled as she shut her eyes, wishing severely she'd never introduced him the stupid game. It had seemed like a good idea to keep him occupied at the time but now, four long hours of playing and not nearly enough time sleeping later, she was regretting the decision.

"You're just sulking because I won ten times and you haven't won once yet." He grinned as he leaned over her, straddling her body.

"Isn't there something else you'd rather do… we're both in bed, alone…" River muttered silkily as she slid her hands up his chest.

"Nice try Song." He said as he grabbed her hands and stopped them in their tracks. "But that can wait. We are currently in a very important game of scrabble. You said you needed to sleep and I've let you sleep but now we need to finish our game."

"Most men want a woman for their body but, no, I have to get the one who wants me for my board game playing skills." River grumbled as she rolled her eyes.

"You are the only one who can play near my level." He smiled broadly, clearly thinking he was giving her a great compliment.

"But I never win anything with you." River complained. "And I hate not winning." She pouted and he swooped down to kiss her quickly.

"You're cute when you sulk." He muttered.

"I am not sulking." She said in a voice that was clearly sulky. "I'm just not used to not winning."

"There is something you've won with me." The Doctor smiled gently down at her as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"What's that then?" She murmured, still not completely out of her grump.

"You won my hearts a long time ago." He grinned at her and she felt a smile creep across her face at how pleased he looked with himself for thinking of that.

"You soppy git!" She laughed as she pulled him down to lie beside her and wrapped her arms around him. She lay there for a second just enjoying him holding her before a realisation hit her. "You're just trying to butter me up so I'll agree to play scrabble with you aren't you?"

"How could you think such a thing Miss Song?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh easily Doctor." She smirked and he gave her a hopeful look. "Fine," She sighed deeply. "One more game but then I'm definitely going to need to find something to either shoot or blow up."

**Review? I would be a very happy girly if you did. And happy writers are productive writers.**


	30. Time After Time

Not One For The Diary

Memory Thirty: Time After Time.

**Disclaimer: **The characters and lyrics belong to their respective owners. Doctor Who to the beeb and the lyrics are from Time After Time as performed by Eva Cassidy.

**_Author's Note: This part is inspired by a prompt of _"if River sang the Doctor a song, what would it be?" _from_ x-Avarice-x _and this is where that went in my head. Thanks for the other prompts as well, I shall start working on them shortly, anyone has any more send 'em my way- I likey :D This is late in River's timeline and therefore early in the Doctors. Enjoy… _**

"Oh I hate you!" River growled as she threw the sonic screw driver she'd been holding roughly at the Doctor. He caught it, like she knew he would, and glared at her.

"You keep saying that. If you hate me so much then why don't you just leave? I never asked you to follow me around like some lost puppy!" He spat. They'd been fighting for hours now and he was sick of it, sick of her and her all-knowing-never-telling attitude and sick of being in the dark about who on earth she was.

"Lost puppy?" River screeched. "Oh you've got some nerve. No you never asked me to come but at least at one point you actually wanted me around!" She breathed deeply, flaring her nostrils, and the Doctor could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes as she turned and stormed off down the corridor. He gulped guilty as he watched her go, aware that he'd overstepped some kind of line. He'd never wanted to upset her just to have the upper hand for once.

XoxoxoX

The Doctor looked nervously at the note that fluttered from the ceiling. It had been hours since he'd last seen River, he'd searched the entire TARDIS for her but, as ever with River, if she didn't want to be found she wouldn't be. And with the TARDIS slamming doors in his face and proving that she was well and truly on River's side he'd given up. One of them would be in touch when they wanted to be found, he'd known that much, and apparently this note was one of them doing exactly that. He hated it being ganged up on. Sighing, he reached down and picked up the note.

_I can never tell you. Your rules, not mine. I know you hate it and I hate it too. I don't hate you though, not really. Come to the theatre and I'll show you something. And before you say it, yes the TARDIS does have a theatre- we have to have some way to entertain ourselves while you're off being brilliant_. _River x_

He scowled slightly. How did she know what he was going to say? It frustrated him beyond belief but at the same time he felt a smile creep across his face just at the thought of her and the annoyingly superior way she'd say those words. He found her frustrating but fascinating and he all ready couldn't imagine his life without her. Without knowing where he was going he let his feet wander to the room that he somehow knew she would be in. He pushed the door slightly and, sure enough, saw a small stage with a few tables and chairs situated in front of it. It looked more like a bar than a theatre, he thought, but he let it pass. As he stepped inside and his eyes adjusted to the dim light he looked up and saw River sitting in the spotlight on the stage, a guitar slung over her lap. Her hair was pulled back and all her make up gone from her face and he realised, with another pang of guilt, that she'd probably been crying. She made no sign that she'd seen him but began to slowly strum her guitar as he sat down.

_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you  
>Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new<br>Flash back warm night, almost left behind  
>Suitcase of memories<br>Time after sometime  
>You pictured me<br>I'm walking too far ahead  
>You're callin' to me<br>I can't hear what you've said  
>Then you said, "Go slow", I fall behind<br>The second hand unwinds_

She sang slowly, deliberately emphasising each word. He is struck by what a beautiful singing voice she had and the fact that he never knew she sang, or played guitar. He realised, with a sudden sadness, the amount of things he didn't know about her. Not the big things but the little, important things like what her favourite song was or what book she'd read so often she knew it off by heart. He knew that she knew all these things about him and he wished, for the first time, that he could be the man who knew all these things about her. Could be her Doctor.

_If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
>Time after time<br>If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
>Time after time<br>If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
>Time after time<br>If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
>Time after time<em>

The words echoed off the walls as she stared into his eyes. He felt tiny in comparison to the emotion he witnessed in her eyes as she sang. So much sorrow, so much love, so much dedication. How did he deserve this? How had he questioned her?

_After my picture fades  
>And darkness has turned to grey<br>Watching through windows  
>You're wondering if I'm OK<br>Secrets stolen from deep inside  
>The drum beats out of time<br>If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
>Time after time<br>If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
>Time after time<em>

Tears glistened in her eyes once again. She knew, as well as he did, how fragile all life was, that one day she would be gone and it would all be over but she carried on anyway. Always coming to his side, always. He mouth was twisted into a small smile and he could see her remembering the things he didn't know yet but for once he didn't resent her this knowledge. After all she had to go through, how could he begrudge her her memories?

_You said, "Go slow", I fall behind  
>The second hand unwinds<br>If you're lost you can look and you will find me  
>Time after time<br>If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting  
>Time after time<em>

As she drew her song to a close he clapped her gently and she made a small bow towards him. He felt he knew her more now, felt a new closeness after how raw and exposed she'd been singing to him but as he looked into her eyes he knew he couldn't mention it. He knew she couldn't talk about how she felt, what she'd been through. All these things they couldn't say.

"I didn't know you sang." He finally said as she climbed down from the stage and stood in front of him, an unsure expression on her face for the first time since he'd met her.

"Of course not… Spoilers." She whispered as she stared up at him, a half-smile flickering across her face.

"Well I'm glad I know now." He smiled. "It was beautiful." He murmured as he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her hair gently trying to convey the things he could never ask, never explain and never know. Not yet.

**Reviews are my favourite. **


	31. Master Chef

Not One For The Diary

Memory Thirty-One: Master Chef

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, it's not mine! (although a girl can dream)

_**Author's note: Hello again, two in one day huh? You lucky things you. I think this may be the last part I do before the big reveal tomorrow as I'm out all day at a wedding (I KNOW! How inconsiderate of them) so if you never see me again and River's identity is something horrible assume I'm rocking somewhere in a corner. Or have been sectioned. Fingers crossed for the best guys! This is another later River/earlier Doctor in response to a request for a double date part. Enjoy…**_

"What are they doing, do you think?" Rory asked anxiously as he looked across at River. They had been banished to one of the smaller rooms and told by Amy and The Doctor, on pain of death and disembowelment from Amy, not to come out until they were fetched. That had been nearly an hour ago. An hour in which Rory had rarely stopped pacing and questioning what was happening.

"Rory, sweetie." River said in what she hoped was a calm voice as she looked up from where she was sitting doodling absentmindedly in her diary. "As I may have said a few hundred times before: **I don't know**. But I'm sure it's nothing dodgy." She raised an eyebrow at the worried look on his face.

"How can you be sure? I mean it's Amy… And the Doctor." He finished worriedly.

"Amy loves you Rory. And the Doctor… Well, he has me and, let's put it this way, I'd be very surprised if he had the energy to chase after anyone else right now." River grinned.

"What do you…" Rory trailed off as a look of comprehension swept over his face. "Oh. Right." He muttered in embarrassment. "I'm just going to open the door and see if I can hear anything."

"Fine. But on your head be it, I'm denying all knowledge of you doing such a thing if Amy asks." River smiled and Rory chuckled, knowing full well that she was serious.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" Amy's Scottish tones came wafting down the corridor as he propped open the door. "Custard does **not** go with everything!"

"You were the one who introduced me to it!" The Doctor retorted equally loudly.

"Yes but I was seven at the time, my culinary skills have come on some what since then!" Amy yelled.

"Oh shouldn't you be frying a mars bar or something?" The Doctor shouted in reply over the clatter of what sounded like a few hundred pots and pans. Rory and River exchanged dark glances as they listened to the chaos.

"Do you think we should…?" Rory gestured outside the door.

"Amy will be cross." River said simply.

"There is a real possibility that they'll destroy the TARDIS otherwise." Rory said worriedly, hovering in the doorway.

"Oh fine." River sighed as she got up. She noticed that Rory still hadn't moved and she rolled her eyes, grinning slightly. "I'll go first shall I?" She laughed as she led the way through the door.

As the unlikely duo walked down the hallway towards their troublemaking other-halves they were assaulted by smells that implied that every piece of food known to man had been overcooked in the vicinity recently. One look into the kitchen confirmed this fact. The Doctor and Amy were surrounded by a variety of pots and pans covering most of the floor and all of the available surface and all of them were filled with combinations of food that made fish fingers and custard look positively normal.

"What on earth possessed you?" River laughed as she looked across at the two guilty parties who froze mid-movement at the sound of her voice.

"I didn't think it would be this hard. We were only trying to make sausage and mash but he got a bit carried away." Amy shook her head and looked at him angrily.

"We were trying to surprise you." The Doctor added guiltily. "It was supposed to be urm… Romantic." He finished, looking to Amy for back-up. River and Rory both laughed loudly.

"Well in future maybe leave the romantic surprises to the brains of the operations?" River joked as she held out her hand to The Doctor to help him step over the mountain of pots that were in between them as Rory did the same to Amy.

"You two… The brains?" The Doctor began to laugh but stopped quickly at the look on River's face.

"Oh you better believe it." She muttered. "And I bet we're thinking exactly the same thing right now." She smiled across at Rory.

"Take away?" He asked.

"Take away." River nodded.

"Bagsy not being the one to explain we want it delivered to a blue police box." Rory said as they sniggered.

"Oh no that's definitely his punishment for messing up the kitchen so thoroughly." River teased as she laced her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss before he could protest. He was cute when he tried to be romantic. It always went horribly wrong but she loved that he never stopped trying.

**Send me a review & we can be bffs. **


	32. While You're Sleeping

Not One For The Diary

Part Thirty-Two: While you're sleeping. 

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. If I wrote Doctor who everyone would be disappointed by the lack of aliens and the large amount of kissing.

_**Author's Note: Sorry about the weekend lack of updates guys, hope y'all aren't mad at me. I've been having a bit of confidence crisis after having repeatedly watched AGMGTW (eeek, squeak, *kissy face* etc) and worrying about getting my head back into writing this without changing my characters but I don't think the big reveal really changes anything that much apart from relationships between River and X and Y (spoilers ;)) which I'm just gonna ignore, basically. So yeah it will be slightly AU from now on but only a tiny bit. And I'm really rambling. Sorry if no one understood any of that! This when the Doctor is just getting to know her properly, so still reasonably early for him. Enjoy…**_

"I'm a very lucky man." The Doctor smiled as he gazed across at River as she slept beside him. Gently, so as not to wake her, he maneuverer his arm out from behind her head and propped himself up to get a better look at her. He still couldn't get used to this. It was brilliant but it was hurting his head. He had someone now and he could just… kiss her whenever he wanted. That was definitely strange and definitely new. And even stranger and newer than that was the fact that he found he did want to kiss her, rather a lot… if not all the time. Before he'd never been that bothered about kissing. It was one of those strange, rather human things that they did. Sometimes they did it to him and it made him rather uncomfortable, sometimes he had to do it to them in life-threatening situations and sometimes they just did it in front of him which was just highly disturbing to watch. With River, though, it was different. She was soft and smelled nice and made his tummy do all kinds of funny things and, basically, he liked kissing her a lot.

"River..." He whispered. He didn't want to wake her as such but maybe if she did wake up of her own accord he could kiss her again. "River, are you awake?" He whispered again, slightly louder this time, then sighed at the lack of response. She was most definitely asleep and it wasn't wise to wake her any time before she'd had her eight hours unless he wanted grumpy River on his hands. And no one wanted that. He stared at her for what felt like the longest time, twisting his fingers absentmindedly in a strand of her hair and just watching her breath. She was beautiful. He fought the urge to kiss her on the lips- that was weird if someone was asleep, right? Instead he gently touched his lips to her forehead.

"I don't want there to ever be a day when I can't kiss you." He whispered to her. It felt like they'd been like this forever but he knew how it ended. He'd seen the pain in her face when he was awkward around her, when he'd doubted her and, worst of all, when he'd not known who she was. On that day he'd seen her heart break and now he knew why. And he knew that one day that would come for him too. "I just want it to stay like this. And I know I'm not very good at this and I could never say this to you when you could hear me and respond but I think I might love you. I think it's definitely looking like a possibility and I think it's very new and scary and I think… I think you're awake aren't you River?" He finished sternly. There was a long pause in which he watched her.

"No?" She whispered quietly as she screwed her face up and grimaced, knowing she was in trouble.

"Oh you are in big trouble River Song." He growled as he jumped on top of her grabbing her hands and pinning her down to the bed. She squealed with laughter.

"I'm sorry but it's hard to sleep when someone's talking to you and staring at you!" She laughed again and he found it very difficult to keep his stern face on. "Now, is there something you wanted to tell me?" She smiled and he felt himself blush. He lent down to kiss her but she moved out of the way quickly. "Tell me first!" She teased him.

"Oh shut up!" He laughed as he tried again but , once again, she moved her head too quickly and he was left nearly kissing the pillow.

"Nope. Just admit it and then you can kiss me!" She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"I do hate you when you tease me." He sulked in the hope of making her feel guilty so she'd give up.

"You can't hate me, you love me!" River laughed softly at the look of shock on his face at hearing those words from her.

"I do, don't I?" He asked quietly, letting his hands run down her arms and settle on her waist.

"Yes, you do." She grinned as she pulled herself upright so their faces were inches apart.

"And you love me?" He almost whispered, a smile caught on his lips as he waited for confirmation.

"Oh I do." She breathed. And then he kissed her because he knew he could now. Could kiss her, could love her. And it was the best thing ever.

**You know you want to review! **


	33. Dancing Shoes

Not One For The Diary

Memory Thirthy-Three: Dancing Shoes. 

**Disclaimer:** I'm pretty sure you're all aware that I don't own Doctor Who, if I ever find myself in the position that I do I'll let you know.

_**Author's Note: Huge thankyous once again for everyone who takes the time to review/favourite/alert this. It really makes me so happy you wouldn't believe. This is a mid-time fic (yay, my favourite). I hope no one is fed up of the fluff yet. Cause I love it, I do. Enjoy…**_

River sighed heavily as she unlocked the TARDIS doors, stepped through and threw down her backpack and her holster. Her back was aching and pretty much every muscle in her body was sore from the hours she'd just spent running full-pelt to escape an army of cybermen that than somehow made it through the void. Again. She was getting sick of them now and all she wanted to do was curl up with the Doctor for a few hours to recover but he was nowhere to be seen. She wandered down the twisting corridors of the TARDIS with the vague idea of getting some sleep while he was off doing whatever crazy-but-brilliant thing he'd set his mind on today when she heard the sound of music and laughter coming from one of the side rooms. Curious, she stopped and pushed the door open slightly.

As she looked inside she felt her eyes grow wider in disbelief. Her doctor stood there with his arms around another woman (young, blonde, annoyingly pretty) and attempted to waltz her around the room. River's brain tried to tell her that there was probably a very harmless explanation and that she didn't _do_ jealousy: never had, but her heart was beating far too fast and drowning out her reasoning. She didn't mind him travelling with other women, she didn't mind him laughing with them or doing whatever else he did with them but dancing like that with some little tart three weeks before their wedding was scheduled to take place when he'd sent her out alone to battle an entire **army** of cybermen- well that was just too much.

"What do you think you're doing?" River asked in a low voice as she pushed the door open and the two people inside jumped apart quickly and the TARDIS stopped the music instantly as if she, too, were feeling guilty.

"River. Hi. Didn't expect you back this soon." He babbled quickly glancing from one woman to the other.

"Evidently." River spat as she folded her arms and breathed out heavily. "Explain?"

"It's not what it looks like." The Doctor jumped in. "Is it Lilith?" He turned to the other woman and she shook her head quickly.

"Oh really. Well you better explain what it is, and quickly. Because it looks a lot like you and _Lilith_" she spat her name with venom "were getting quite cosy while I was out risking my life on your instructions. Again."

"We were." He said simply but then, seeing the look on River's face, added quickly "But not like that. We were just dancing."

"And why were you just dancing with another woman, sweetie?" She said in a patronising voice.

"I was teaching him." Lilith stepped in quickly, seeing the mess the Doctor was making of this conversation. "It was supposed to be a surprise."

"And why would he need you to teach him?" She asked suspiciously.

"For the wedding." She said simply and River looked between the two of them with confusion still etched all over her face.

"I didn't want to embarrass you by being all…" He threw his arms up in the air in a rendition of his usual dance moves. "Not for our first dance anyway." River laughed slightly as she felt some of the tension drain out of her as he moved towards her. Reasonable explanation, of course.

"I wouldn't want you any other way, my love." She smiled as he put his arms around her. "If you were you wouldn't be then man I fell in love with."

"I'm sorry if you thought…" He nodded backwards towards where Lilith was standing looking rather uncomfortable.

"No I'm sorry." River grinned and pulled herself out of his embrace. "I'm sorry Lilith. Wedding plans and cyber attacks make me a bit tetchy. I don't normally shout at people I've just met."

"No you normally point your gun at them. Just be glad she left it in the other room." He laughed and the younger girl looked positively terrified.

"Stop it, you're scaring her!" River scolded him gently. "Do you want to stay for dinner?" She asked kindly.

"No it's fine, thank you." The young girl breathed in relief as she walked past the couple. "I think I'll just let myself out." She smiled as she scurried off.

"Now look what you've done, she's run away." River laughed as she heard the front door slam.

"I don't blame her, I'd run away if you shouted at me. In fact… I have done, quite a few times." She raised one eyebrow and he laughed at his own joke.

"So are you going to show me these new dance moves of yours?" She grinned as she looked up and, reading her thoughts, the TARDIS put on a slow-dance song and she held out her hand to him.

"Oh no because then I wouldn't be the man you fell in love with would I?" he grinned cheekily as he snapped his fingers and the music changed to an up-beat dance number and grabbed her outstretched hand and began twirling her erratically around the room as she laughed. "Plus, I've got to save some surprises for our wedding night." He grinned at her as he lent in to kiss her before swinging her around the room once again, much to her delight.

**Reviews make me happy. Or Alex Kingston in a box. Whichever you can manage.**


	34. Better Late Than Never

Not One For The Diary

Memory Thirty-Four: Better Late Than Never. 

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it, it's not mine etc etc.

_**Author's Note: Thank you so much to all you lovely people who reviewed the last part and a big hello to everyone who sat down and waded through thirty-three pages of fluff to get here *waves*. This is early-ish River. I imagine her being abouuuut 19 here. Give or take a few years. Enjoy…**_

"You're late." Was the first thing he heard as he stepped out of the TARDIS into the restaurant where he was supposed to be meeting River. His eyes quickly scanned the room to locate the source of the voice and he eventually saw River sitting alone at a table with an empty bottle of wine in front of her. She turned and glared at him, folding her arms as she got to her feet, swaying slightly.

"And you're… Drunk? Are you _drunk_ River?" He asked, shocked. He'd never seen River drunk before. Occasionally they'd been out drinking but she'd always had to take him home before she'd got much passed tipsy. This meant a number of things. Number one: she was very young, number two: he was very late and number three: he was in a lot of trouble.

"Well you are **very** late." River replied sulkily.

"How late is very late exactly?" He asked quietly, wincing in anticipation of the response. The last thing he wanted was another girl having to wait for him.

"Five and a half hours. But who's counting?" River said with an attempt at sarcasm but she just sounded hurt.

"I'm really sorry I…" He trailed off as he gave her a puzzled look as a man walked up to the table where she had been sat and placed two glasses of wine down on the table.

"Oh." Said the unknown man as he gazed over at where River and the Doctor stood. "He turned up then?"

"I told you he would." River smiled. "This is Mike. He works here, been keeping me company since the place shut about four hours ago." She finished with a dark look at the Doctor. "Thank you for the drink, sweetie." She smiled at him as she picked up her glass and tottered away so she was standing next to the Doctor.

"I'll just go finish mopping then…" Mike shrugged sadly as he walked away from the couple.

"You are mean, leading the poor boy on like that." The Doctor laughed as he watched him go.

"Who says I was leading him on? Maybe a few more hours and I might have considered it. He's a Nestene duplicate, swappable heads. He said it would keep things interesting." River laughed bitterly.

"What are you doing River?" The Doctor asked quietly as he caught hold of her face, making her look into his eyes. He saw tears there that he was pretty sure were due to more than the numerous bottles of wine she'd drunk.

"I am trying." She sighed. "To make you jealous. But apparently that doesn't work either." He saw her blinking rapidly to try to hold back the tears she never let fall.

"Why are you trying to make me jealous River?" He asked her softly, never daring to take his eyes from her face.

"Because maybe then you'll turn up on time. Maybe then you'll have something to prove. Five and a half hours I waited for you and how do I know that one day I'm not going to have to wait five and a half months, or years? How the hell am I supposed to know that one day you're not just going to leave me waiting for you forever?" She bit her lip and stared at him with that hardened look in her eyes. She was daring him to contradict her, daring him to bait her and get into a fight with her but he didn't. He put his arms around her and pulled her close- getting rose wine slopped down his front as he did.

"Oh my beautiful River Song. I'm so sorry. One day you'll trust me completely with you life, time and time again, even though I don't deserve it-"

"I already do!" River said, trying to stop herself from crying. "That's the problem, don't you see? I trust that you're just late and I wait for hours. You say you'll meet me somewhere and there I am but I don't want to be the girl who's always waiting for you. I don't want to become just another one of the women who cries and wonders when you'll turn up. I trust you so much but I don't want that to change who I am. Can you understand that? Does this make any sense it that silly little Time Lord brain of yours?"

"It does. I can. And don't worry- I'll never keep you waiting again. You're not just some woman waiting for me River. I'm waiting for you too. You're not just someone I drop in on when I feel like it. I love you, River." He pulled her face up to look into his eyes so she knew he was being serious. "I'll turn up five and a half hours early every time from now on if that makes you feel better?" River laughed slightly as she leaned in against him and held him tight, her head resting against his hearts.

"That sounds good." She said softly as her eyes closed slightly. "Because I figured out today I really don't like being stood up."

"Hey, I didn't stand you up. I just got delayed… slightly." He insisted as he pulled her around and they slowly walked back to the TARDIS together.

"Well don't get delayed again. Or I may have to take the Nestene duplicate up on his offer." River grinned up at him.

"I can change my face too you know." He muttered sulkily and she laughed as she patted him gently on his cheek.

"I'm getting quite attached to this one, y'know." She said fondly as he lent down to kiss her.

"Good, because it's very fond of you." He whispered as their lips met.

**I like to end on a kiss. Anyways, back to work in an hour or so. Review and give me something to read at stupid am when I finish? Thank you please**


	35. A OneMan Woman

Not One For The Diary. 

Part Thirty-Five: A One-Man Woman

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but the thoughts in my head. And in this case someone else planted them there!

_**Author's Note: Wow thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Sorry I have had no time to reply to any of you, life has been a tiny bit manic so I'm scribbling this in the hour or so I have free (well, I should be doing housework but never mind). Credit for this idea goes to Shadowcat012 who gave me a very lovely prompt that made me go "ooooh eeeek" etc. Hope you like it! This is a younger Doctor situation. Enjoy…**_

The Doctor gazed through the bars at the sleeping woman who lay on the other side of them and grinned to himself. He'd managed to take the brakes off, arrive silently, sneak right up to her cell and she still hadn't woken up- all he had to do was sonic the door open quietly and he would finally be able to surprise her! As he pushed the door open gently his hearts beat a little quicker and River turned slightly in her sleep but didn't wake. He breathed a sigh of relief as he shut the door behind him and then paused, suddenly unsure. He always had these brilliant ideas of creeping in and surprising her but she always spotted him so early that, finally getting to the stage where he was able to do just that, he found himself completely unsure of what to do next. And why on earth was she asleep at, he glanced down at his watch, five in the afternoon?

Swallowing hard and deciding to act braver than he felt her crept up to the bed where she lay. He gazed down at her for a moment and took in just how beautiful she was before he lowered himself down beside her and placed his arms around her, pulling himself close to her. He felt his pulse begin to race as her eyelids fluttered gently as he stroked her side.

"Back so soon sweetie? I won't be able to walk tomorrow you know." She laughed sleepily as she opened her eyes fully. The Doctor looked at her in confusion. "Oh you've changed." River smiled as she adjusted his bowtie gently and then ran her hand up to his face. Her eyes flickered over his, taking in his lack of understanding, as her brow knitted slightly. "What's wrong you look like we've not… Oh. You've _changed_ haven't you?" River gasped, mentally hitting herself for being so stupid. "Sorry. Hello sweetie." She grinned with an attempt at her usual voice.

"What's going on River? Have we just been somewhere?" He asked and she turned her head away in embarrassment at having let anything slip. As she did her saw an array of red marks down her neck. "Oh. Have we just…?" His eyes widened as he jumped backwards, almost falling off the bed in the process.

"Yes." River said as she bit her lip.

"Right." The Doctor said as he tried to regain his composure. "Did we urm… have a good time?" He asked, trying not to let his jealousy show in his voice.

"Oh I did." She murmured as she kissed him slowly, twisting her hands in his hair. "And you will." She smiled as they pulled apart.

"But I haven't yet." He pouted, knowing how childish he sounded but unable to hold back the resentment. He wanted what she had and he didn't want to have to wait. He sighed waiting for her usual reply of _"spoilers"_ but it never came. Instead he looked back at her and saw a very mischievous grin slide across her face.

"Maybe you can now though." She whispered as her hands began to trail up and down his back, making him shudder against her.

"I'm not him, you know." He said quietly into her ear.

"But you are you." She smiled softly, drawing light circles around his hearts.

"But I mean I haven't done those things he's done with you… done to you." A small smile crossed his face as he thought of his future.

"We can always change that." She murmured seductively.

"Isn't that against the rules?" He replied with a raised eye brow as he took full advantage of her closeness to slip his hands under her top and began to explore the soft skin he found there.

"Well I did wonder where you learnt all the things you just did to me. And maybe I need to be the one who teaches you." She grinned broadly as she pulled him down so that she was straddling him, her hands on his chest pushing him into the bed. "What do you say?"

"I think you'd be a very good teacher." He gasped as he smiled up at her.

"Oh I am." She smiled wickedly. "But we may need somewhere a bit more private for our lesson because unless I'm very much mistaken we're going to have company very soon." She turned her head slightly towards the sound of the footsteps growing ever closer. "And I'm definitely a one-man kind of woman."

"Well then I think we best say our farewells Doctor Song." She looked at him in confusion for a second before he sat up and, with strength she didn't know his slim body could posses, threw her over his shoulder in one fluid motion and began to run to the TARDIS. River shrieked with delight.

"Goodbye boys!" She called across to the guards who were just appearing round the corner. "Don't wait up!"

**Reviews, suggestions and smiley faces are all appreciated. **


	36. ID

Not One For The Diary.

Memory Thirty-six: ID

**Disclaimer: **If I owned anything relating to Matt Smith and/or Alex Kingston I would spend far less time in front of a computer. Fact.

_**Author's Note: Well it's that time again kids, another update! Yay. I love you all who review, I'm sure you know this by now but you make a sad little Doctor/River fan very happy. This one I imagine River being mid 30s and the Doctor still knowing more about their relationship but not by much. Enjoy…**_

"Well, hello sweetie." River announced sexily as the Doctor stepped out of the doors of the TARDIS into her pathway making her skid to a halt abruptly. He smiled crookedly at her and she noted his appearance fully. He wore a top hat and a black suit and matching bow tie and the most brilliant grin spreading across his face. "To what do I owe the pleasure, and the outfit?" She smiled coyly.

"No reason, River Song." He laughed. She grinned, knowing the secret. It was one of their codes. Formal attire with no given reason meant that they were celebrating. Celebrating a special occasion that one of them remembered though the other had not yet experienced but celebrating none the less.

"So where are you taking me tonight?" River asked as she took his outstretched hand and he pulled her inside the TARDIS with a loud laugh at his own brilliance.

"Anywhere you like. As long as it's glamorous." He grinned cheekily and she directed him eagerly to twentieth century earth and one of the finest restaurants she'd ever set foot in as she ran to change into something more suitable.

XoxoxoX

As the couple stepped forward toward the restaurant they giggled like schoolchildren as they laced their arms around one another. The Doctor murmured words of reservation as they passed towards their table and sat gazing into each other's eyes. She laughed at the eagerness in his eyes. He was so like a child, so willing to please.

"Would you like something to drink, sir, madam?" The young waiter asked nervously as he approached the table where they laughed together.

"Yes, sir," River asked teasingly "what would we like to drink?" The Doctor looked panic stricken for a split second at such a question before regaining his composure quickly.

"Champagne?" He asked River quietly and she nodded quickly. "A bottle of your best champagne." He repeated lavishly, waving his arms unnecessarily.

"Have you urm…" The waiter stuttered, ringing his hand nervously

"Have I what?" The Doctor asked sharply, annoyed at his flirtatious glances toward River being interrupted.

"Have you got any ID… Sir?" He asked quickly without looking into the eyes of either of them. River bit quickly down on her lip to stop herself from shrieking in laughter.

"Any what?" The Doctor muttered to River, completely ignoring the man who hovered nervously beside them.

"Show him your psychic paper." River said quietly.

"I can't." The Doctor hissed. "It's in my other jacket."

"Why on earth did you leave it there?" River replied promptly.

"Because we were going on a romantic dinner and I didn't think I would need it. I mean you haven't got your gun have you?" He looked at her and she raised one eyebrow, smiling slightly. "You have, haven't you?"

"Of course I have." River laughed as she tapped one side her thigh indicating the slight bulge that concealed her weapon.

"And why do I have to show him my psychic paper again?" The Doctor asked darkly as he scowled up at the waiter.

"You have to prove you're old enough to buy alcohol." River said while trying her best to keep her dead-pan expression and not let her laughter seep through.

"I am over a thousand years old!" The Time Lord replied indigently as he rose slightly from his chair and looked the waiter squarely in the eye. "I save your planet nearly every day against attack. I am the last of my kind, the oncoming storm! I can make entire armies turn and flee at the mention of my name! I am The Doctor. I do not carry ID." He glared at them both as if they had been conspiring against him.

"Okay…" The waiter murmured nervously in response as he glanced from one to the other, clearly unsure what to make of this bold statement

"Yes sweetie, we know," River cut across, stroking his hand soothingly. "but you do have a baby face." River laughed as she handed over her own ID and flashed the poor waiter a look that made him feel as if he would explode himself as he ran off to get the champagne.

"Oh I do, do I…" The Doctor muttered as he leant across the room from where she was sitting and kissed her greedily. "And that means you…?" He grinned as they broke apart.

"Oh do shut up." River sighed lightly as the waiter brought the wine and abandoned it beside them, looking particularly perplexed by this strange couple as he did. River gently grabbed the bottle and poured both of them a glass. "Here." She sighed once again as she passed him a glass "always good to have someone older than you to show you the ropes." She raised her eyebrow at their private joke. She was so young compared to him and yet, even this early on, people assumed she was the older one in the relationship. T_he fact he acts like a nine year old probably doesn't help_, River thought to herself and chuckled.

"Enjoy it while you can," The Doctor said sadly "There's not much longer I'll be able to hear you say that." He smiled sadly to himself, thinking of the times when he could get away with calling her Mrs Robinson that, for him, would never come again. He hated the fact that it all had to change. She knew him less every time they met and, though he tried never to show it, seeing her all-knowing expression fade with every new encounter saddened him more than he thought possible. Even though he was only just beginning to lose the woman he first fell in love with the pain he felt gave him a newfound respect for how she managed to cope when he first met her. She never let it show, the pain she must have felt. She coughed slightly and pulled him back into the moment. He shook his head slightly and tried to shake the thoughts clean out of his head.

"You still with me sweetie?" River asked gently.

"Always." He smiled back. "Just remembering."

"I bet it's going to be fantastic. " She laughed loudly.

"Oh you better believe it." He announced joyfully as he reached over to kiss her once again. "Now, let's get on with the celebrations!" He raised his glass and clinked it lightly against hers. _Happy anniversary,_ he added silently- remembering that day, so many years ago for him and so far away for her still. He couldn't tell her but that didn't mean he couldn't remember.

**Oh would you like to review? Yes you would**


	37. Undercover

Not One For The Diary

Part Thirty-Seven: Undercover. 

**Disclaimer: **If I reblog them enough on tumblr do I get to own them? No? In that case I still don't own them.

**_Author's Note: Hello sweeties. Updateage! Woop. So many ideas going on today that it's been really hard to actually write anything because I can't decide on which one to do. Haha. On the plus side this means you may get two updates after each other. Lots of love to everyone who reviewed the last chapter/any chapter ever really. You da man! Anyway enough twaddle let's get on with the story. This is a response to an idea from _hipkarma _and it's a_ _Mid-time fic here. Enjoy…_**

The Doctor hated undercover missions. He crossed his arms and legs, tapping one foot and glaring at River so that she would know how much he hated undercover missions. This was all her fault. Her stupid recovery mission she'd accepted on behalf of some oppressed race or another to recover some priceless gem. It wasn't that he didn't want to help, helping was one of his favourite things, but this style of helping really wasn't him. They were sitting and waiting for audience with one of the king's soldiers to try to gain the information they needed. _Sitting and waiting._ No sonicing, no running, no fun at all.

"Sweetie, be patient." River hissed as she glared at the man sitting next to her fidgeting like a child. "We'll be out of here soon and once we've got the location we can get to the fun bit." She grinned and he felt himself relax a bit until the door flew open and the soldier walked in.

"River, darling!" He announced as he threw open his arms to her. "Get here you sexy thing, where have you been all my life?" River laughed loudly as she stood up to hug him.

"Generally on the other side fighting against everything you stand for- you nasty tyrant supporter you." She laughed cheekily.

"So I take you haven't come to take me up on my offer of a wild night of love making?" He cocked one eyebrow at her and the Doctor sat up right in his chair. He glared at the soldier and then glanced worriedly at River. He trusted her completely but other men around her… them he did not trust. He knew what River was like when she wanted something and, sure, right now she only wanted information but the soldier didn't know that.

"Oh you fifty-second century soldiers are such romantics!" River laughed as she rolled her eyes and pulled herself out of his embrace.

"Talking the talk isn't the only thing we're good at." He practically whispered as he took a step towards her and the Doctor decided it would be a very good time to cough loudly because it seemed no one had remembered he was there. And because he'd just noticed how muscly this particular soldier was. And because he had a very impressive gun- and River liked guns. In fact there were so many reasons he coughed twice. "Oh, you brought a pet." The soldier said disappointedly as he looked around.

"Yes, this is my… Well, this is the Doctor. He helps me out sometimes." River said giving the Doctor a very stern glance that told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was going to be in trouble when they got home.

"Well I'm not really into threesomes but if it makes you happy River…" He leered at her and the Doctor opened his mouth to protest but received a very firm glance from River and shut his mouth once again. Huffing slightly he refolded his arms. He _really_ hated undercover missions. Especially ones where people hit on his wife.

"Not today sweetie." River laughed slightly as she patted his arm patronisingly. "What I really want is for you to tell me the location of a certain document that will lead to the recovery of something precious to my friends." She spoke gently but there was strength behind her words, no more teasing.

"And what exactly is in this deal for me?" The soldier asked sleazily.

"Well I'm sure we can arrange some kind of financial-" River began.

"I don't need money, River." He moved closer to her so his face was only inches from hers. "But I would very much like something else you can offer me." He smiled and went to place his hand on her face but before she had chance to react she heard an almighty crash and turned to see the Doctor standing opposite her with a heavy hard-back novel in his hand that he hand just used to clout the other man around the head.

"What did you do that for?" River yelled, pointing at the unconscious man on the floor.

"He was going to…" The Doctor stammered, pointing to him then River and back again. "With you… he was going to kiss you!" He blurted out, still shocked at what he'd just done.

"No he wasn't." River sighed. "I've known him for years, sweetie. He was just testing me to see how serious I was. Not that it matters because he's not going to help us after that!"

"Don't say that as if it's my fault. You're my wife I'm not just going to stand there and let someone else-"

"Oh so you're being possessive now are you?" River cut across, scowling.

"I guess I am!" He retorted angrily before noting- "Oh possessive, that's new." River couldn't help but laugh at the look of surprise on his face.

"You are impossible, you know that don't you?" She smiled as she put her arm through his.

"Sorry about hitting your friend." He mumbled as they stepped over the unconscious soldier and walked out of the room. "Its just he had muscles. And a gun." He added guiltily.

"Oh my love, I have enough guns for the both of us." She laughed lightly as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"And the muscles?" He asked nervously.

"Over-rated." River sighed. "I prefer a bow-tie. Although I will of course deny having ever said such a thing. Now you really need to find a way to this gem because you just knocked out our only decent lead." She teased him gently as they walked out, bickering all the way back to the TARDIS.

**Gosh that took ages to write! Review and hopefully I'll finish the next part before bed. **


	38. I'll Bring You Flowers

Not One For The Diary

Memory Thirty-Eight: I'll Bring You Flowers In The Pouring Rain

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, never mine :(

**_Author's Note: Another updatey, I'm on fire (or really need a life, whatever). This part is dedicated to _CanonWorshipper4evah _for your continued reviewage and support (even if you can't give me prompts :p). Early-ish River. Late 20s maybe? Enjoy…_**

River looked up, startled, at the sudden banging on her front door. She sighed heavily and pulled the blanket further around her as she lay back on the sofa. She was going to ignore it and hope it was Jehovah's witnesses or someone trying to sell her something and that they would go away. All she wanted to do was curl up and feel sorry for herself for the foreseeable future. They'd had a fight and he'd just swanned off and it bloody _hurt._ It hurt all the more because she knew the next time she saw him he'd have no memory of what had happened between them. Next time she saw him she'd have to forgive him because she couldn't bring herself to punish him for something he hadn't done yet.

The banging on the door came again, louder and longer than the last time and River stood up grudgingly. Clearly whoever was outside had no intention of leaving her alone. She wrapped her cardigan around herself and walked slowly towards the door. As she pulled it open she let out a slight gasp of surprise. In front of her stood her Doctor, in the rain, completely soaking wet and clutching the biggest bunch of bright yellow roses she'd ever seen.

"Well can I come in?" He asked nervously. "Because I'm getting kind of wet out here." She nodded and he stepped inside and thrust the flowers into her hands before shaking his head like an overgrown dog.

"Wh… What are you doing here?" She managed to stammer.

"Trying to apologise. It would be easier there was less water." He grinned as he tapped one side of his head, trying to get the water out of his ear.

"You remember?" River asked in shock.

"Of course. It happened about oooh…" He glanced down at his watch. "Three hours ago for me."

"But you left. I saw you leave." River said, still unable to grasp what he was saying.

"And then I came back." He smiled broadly, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet as he did.

"But you can't! You're not allowed to cross your own timeline like that!" She gasped, suddenly alarmed.

"Says who?" The Doctor smiled teasingly.

"Says you!" She retorted angrily.

"Well this is the exception that proves the rule." He laughed as he lent in to kiss her, his hands holding her face tenderly.

"Don't just think you can turn up all wet and with flowers and being all cute and everything is forgiven." River muttered as they pulled apart.

"Really?" The Doctor asked looking very confused. That's exactly what he'd been hoping for.

"Really." River said as she folded her arms and gave him her sternest look.

"Did it work though?" He asked quietly as he lent in to whisper in her ear.

"Oh completely." River felt a smile creep across her face as he pulled her closer and kissed her enthusiastically, the flowers dropping to the floor as she wrapped her arms around him. Still, she thought before she lost herself completely in his kiss, this was the longest time she'd managed to stay mad at him. That had to count for something, right?

**I did two parts in about the same amount of hours. Can you take two minutes to do two reviews? Please?**


	39. The Same

Not One For The Diary

Memory Thirty-Nine: The Same

**Disclaimer: **I own none of the characters mentioned in this part. Not a single one of the. Apart from… Nope, none sorry.

**_Author's Note: Wowzers, thank you to everyone who reviewed and also all the prompts that people have sent to me :D love it! This story is going to go on for a very long time, so I hope you're all sitting comfortably for the next few months. I will work through them all, with a few of my own thrown in, so don't fret. This one is in response to a comment from _x-Avarice-x _and it's set after The Doctor's Wife, imagining that River had turned up then. I know she didn't in the show but, hey- timeywimey (great excuse for anything). Enjoy…_**

"Hello sweetie!" River crooned as she walked through the TARDIS doors with her usual swagger.

"Oh, hi River." Amy said flatly as she looked up. That wasn't exactly the response she'd anticipated, River thought as she frowned slightly. Rory and Amy were stood together looking depressed and the Doctor was nowhere to be seen.

"What's happened? Where's the Doctor?" River asked worriedly as she stepped towards her friends.

"He's downstairs doing some tinkering." Amy offered. "We've just had a bit of a… draining day." She mumbled sadly.

"Oh, sorry. Bad time? Should I come back later?" River asked hesitantly.

"No, no it's fine." Rory stepped in. "It's good to see you River." He smiled bravely. It must have been a really bad day.

"So what happened?" The archaeologist questioned gently.

"Oh y'know… went outside the universe trying to find Time Lords that never existed, nearly got killed by a living planet that made us run around the TARDIS like rats in a maze, the TARDIS got turned into a woman who died in front of us and the Doctor cried." Rory sighed. "The usual."

"Oh yeah, must be a Tuesday." River tried to smile to hide her pain at his words. She knew how much that would have killed the Doctor, to finally be able to speak to his oldest friend and then to lose her instantly. She could feel the pain resonating from the TARDIS herself and she sensed the Doctor's pain and her heart broke for them both. Then it broke a little bit more for herself. One day, one day in her past and his future, he would love them equally but not today. Not at this time. Not, for her, ever again.

"Are you going to go see him?" Amy asked, breaking the older woman's train of thought.

"I don't know if I should." River replied quietly, her usual confidence shaken by this strange time and the lack feelings the man she could normally always rely on had for her.

"He'll be glad to see you." Amy smiled and River nodded as she began to slowly walk to where she knew he was.

XoxoxoX

"Knock knock." River said as she descended the stairs, trying to put her usual cheerful voice on so he wouldn't know she knew. She didn't want to force him into talking.

"Who's there?" The Doctor replied, smiling as he looked up at River. He loved a good knock knock joke.

"Doctor." River replied laughing.

"Doctor who?" He asked quickly.

"Yep, that's me." She grinned as he barked out a short laugh. "Don't tell me you've never heard that one before."

"It never gets old." He smiled up at her but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "What are you doing here, River?"

"Not too sure. I think my vortex manipulator may be acting up again, I put in different co-ordinates but it brought me here." She moved closer to where he sat and placed a light hand on his leg as she sat beside him. "Maybe something brought me here, thought you might need me." She searched his eyes quickly for any recognition, any acknowledgement.

"Thank you River." He said softly. "But I'm fine." She closed her eyes at these words- they caused her pain she didn't want him to see. He never told her he was fine. The rest of the world he told he was fine but he told her how he was really feeling. Had done, anyway- not any more.

"No you're not. And that's okay." She smiled gently at him.

"How the hell do you know River?" He asked angrily, standing up abruptly. "How the hell would you know what I'm feeling?"

"You've just lost the ability to talk to someone you've known forever and loved for even longer. Trust me. I know that feeling." She retorted angrily and tears sparkled in her bright eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, looking away from her intense stare, unable to take any more emotion at that point.

"She's still here and she still loves you." River said quietly and he looked at her, unsure who she was talking about. She smiled softly at his confusion, she was talking about them both but he needn't know that.

"Can you… Can you talk to her?" He asked quietly.

"Talk? Not really. But I can sense her in the way that you can, sometimes more than you can because my mind isn't so preoccupied with other things." She smiled sadly, feeling the pain rushing through her once again.

"But… How?" He asked, once again shocked by much this woman could do- how much she understood that she shouldn't be able to.

"We're very… similar. The same almost" River finished with a small smile. "We both stole a Time Lord to run away with and show us the stars. We both have a very complicated relationship with a brilliant man. Maybe that's why she brought me here because although you don't have her, physically, you still have…" She trailed off, looking away. Maybe it was too soon to tell him.

"I still have you?" He asked, looking deep into her eyes.

"You always have me." She smiled warmly. _Even when I don't have you_, she thought to herself. He put his arms around her and hugged her awkwardly, trying to show that he was grateful. They broke apart and sat down side by side just listening to the hum of the TARDIS. She seemed happier now, her pain soothed slightly by River being there.

**Whoa. Okay. That was slightly more angsty than I intended. Sorry. Review it anyways? Cause you love me? Ta!**


	40. Mistletoe and Wine

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty: Mistletoe and Wine

**Disclaimer: **OMD people, I don't own it- you knows it.

_**Author's Note: Wow, is this seriously part 40? I literally cannot believe it. Time flies when you're having fun. I'm gonna spend a tiny bit of time getting soppy cause I'm in a bit of an emotional mood today but it really means soooo much to me that so many of you enjoy this and comment on it and it's lovely to chat to you all and now speak to some of you on tumblr *waves to tumblr friends* it makes my day every time I get an email saying I have a review (unless it's a bad one, then I cry). Okay, enough of that now. But thanks, loves you! *kisses* Anyway, this is a response to a prompt from Claudia and it's a young River, I imagine her being about 14/15 here. Enjoy…**_

The Doctor watched her as she leaded against the door way trying to look innocent. The room was crowded full of people drinking far too much wine and singing Christmas songs in an increasingly off-key and raucous manner. The Doctor smiled as he sat back in his chair. He'd promised her a good Christmas and this… This was an excellent Christmas. A proper party with humans being all humany… Dancing and singing and the such on Christmas eve and tomorrow it was going to snow. What more could she want? Well, he glanced over at her again and caught her eye this time, he knew what she _wanted_ but she couldn't have that. Not yet. Far too young.

"I know what you're doing." He mouthed across at her.

"Sorry, what?" River called back with mock innocence as she fluttered her eyelashes. The Doctor rolled his eyes and pulled himself up from the chair and walked across to her, eggnog in hand.

"I said I know what you're doing Miss Song." He muttered as he stood beside her and glanced up to the doorway in which she was standing. Above her there was a large clump of mistletoe. He grinned at her and she looked away guiltily.

"You can't blame a girl for trying." She muttered sulkily.

"And who exactly are you _trying_ for?" He asked, knowing the answer before she'd even opened her mouth.

"Well who do you think?" She huffed crossly as she folded her arms. It was always him, but she always got the same response. "It's Christmas, do I not get one kiss?"

"You know the rules." She sighed heavily, knowing what was coming next. "Not. Till. You're. Older." He pushed her nose gently with each word, trying to keep his happy smile on his face. It wasn't that he wanted to kiss her now, not like _that _anyway_-_ she was far too young, but that he would never be able to kiss her again. She may be frustrated and impatient right now but at least she still had it all to come. He thought, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, how much he hated these stupid timelines.

"But I'm never going to be old enough for you. Not really. You're like one thousand and something-"

"One thousand and twenty six." He corrected quietly.

"Exactly. So no matter how old I get, even when I'm like ninety you're still pretty much a cradle snatcher. So what difference does a few years make?" River tried again.

"It makes the difference between someone trying to arrest me or not!" He laughed lightly but then sighed at the look of despair on her face. "Okay, you can have this one. But only because it's Christmas." He lent down slightly and pressed his lips to her cheek, kissing her gently. As he pulled away she turned her head and their lips brushed slightly as the Doctor jumped back. "River!" He scolded her hastily as he rubbed his lips with the back of his hand. "Much. Too. Young." She laughed heartily as she threw her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug as he relaxed. Hugs he could do.

"Sorry Doctor." River grinned as she held him to her. "Couldn't resist. I'll try and be more patient."

"You better." He grinned as they broke apart and he reached down to hold her hand as they leaned against the wall, watching the rest of the party go by. "So what do you think?" He nodded to the congregation as he watched her expression of delight light up her face as the Christmas lights danced in her eyes.

"Best Christmas ever. Without a doubt." She smiled to herself as she remembered the feel of his lips on hers for that brief second. One day, she knew, he'd allow himself to love her in the way she'd always loved him but for now that was more than enough. He was her Doctor and he loved her and it was Christmas, what more could she want?

"Oh just you wait, River. Just you wait." He smiled almost sadly at her and she knew it was going to be fantastic, what they had. And she would wait. She would wait forever for that man.

**Oh my I've got myself all Christmassy. Please review and we'll pull a cracker together.**


	41. I Do

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-One: I do. 

**Disclaimer:** I am just borrowing them for a few minutes and will return them before their bedtime. Promise.

_**Author's Note: Well hello, fancy seeing you here! Really glad that people are still just discovering this story & hope this next part lives up to your expectations. This is a response from a prompt from Claudia again and this is a very young River. I'm thinking about 8. Enjoy…**_

The Doctor stepped out of the TARDIS and looked around, slightly confused, at where he'd arrived. It was a playground. A school playground. He frowned slightly, sure that these weren't the co-ordinates he'd put in, but began to explore none the less. There was always a reason for him appearing somewhere he hadn't planned on-usually the TARDIS giving him a not-so-subtle push in the right direction. Sure enough after a few moments he noticed a young girl sitting alone on a low wall, swinging her feet back and forwards and looking thoroughly miserable. Her uniform was tattered and her wild hair was scraped back into a bun that didn't contain it properly. No mistaking this girl, he thought with a smile, it was River.

"Hi there." He said softly as he sat down beside her. He wasn't sure if she knew him yet but she was obviously the reason he'd been brought here. She was always the reason.

"Doctor!" River grinned as she looked around at him and he breathed a sigh of relief. Not the last time. Not yet. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh just passing by, thought I'd drop in and say Hi. So… Hi!" He smiled at the look of happiness plastered across her face.

"Hi!" She laughed back.

"So how come you're not busy playing with your friends?" He asked conversationally and saw a dark look cross her young face.

"They're playing a stupid game." River muttered sulkily. "I didn't want to play stupid weddings anyway."

"Stupid weddings?" The Doctor asked with a puzzled expression. "Well that doesn't sound like something I'd want to play either. It sounds kind of stupid."

"It's not called stupid weddings, silly." River laughed. "They're playing pretend getting married."

"Oh right, well that makes more sense- just about. And you didn't want to play?" He asked his young friend.

"No. Well… I would have done but no one wanted to marry me. I don't have pretty dresses like the other girls and my hair isn't long enough so no one wanted to marry me." River admitted sadly, staring down at her shoes resolutely.

"Well I think they're very silly." He said kindly as he smiled at her. "They'd be very lucky to play marry you."

"You think?" She asked, still sounding very unsure.

"I know. Trust me, I'm the Doctor." He beamed. He loved it when he got to say that.

"Would you…" River started but trailed off quickly, looking embarrassed.

"Would I what?" He asked softly.

"Would you like to marry me?" She asked hesitantly. "Just pretend I mean."

"I would be honoured to." He laughed. Trust her to propose first- he'd never stood a chance of doing anything normal with this girl.

"Really? Brilliant!" She grinned as she grabbed his hand and dragged him across to where a group of children stood together. "Look I found someone to get married to!" She announced happily.

"You can't marry him, he's too old." One of the other girls said as she put her hands on her hips.

"Can so!" River retorted angrily. "You're just jealous because you had to marry Gregg Thomas and I get to marry the Doctor."

"Well I bet he'd rather marry me than you if I asked him." The girl said huffily as she looked from River to the Doctor.

"No he wouldn't. He's my friend not yours." River glared across at her. "Aren't you Doctor?"

"Definitely River's friend and marrying River." He agreed. "Although I'm sure you're very nice too… urm, small blonde person." He added kindly.

"Right so let's get on with the wedding!" River announced bossily as she picked up the piece of net curtain the girls had been using as a veil and placed it on top of her head, beaming around at the others.

"Do you, River Song, want to marry this urm… The Doctor?" One of the boys asked as he stood in front of them and pushed the Doctor down so he was kneeling and at the same height as the rest of them.

"I do!" River said quickly.

"And do you The Doctor want to marry River Song?" The boy asked, staring at the Doctor very intently.

"I do." He laughed lightly. This was definitely the most bizarre thing he'd done for a while.

"And do you promise to love each other forever and ever?" He asked them both.

"Yes. Forever." River nodded sincerely.

"Yes. And ever." The Doctor said and she laughed loudly.

"You must now swap rings." The boy instructed as he passed them both sweetie rings to place on each other's fingers. The Doctor placed his on one of her fingers and she tried her best to squeeze hers onto his, only managing to get it just above the knuckle.

"Close enough." He whispered with a wink.

"And so now you are married." The young boy concluded firmly. "And you must live happily ever after."

"Well we can't ignore a direct instruction like that, can we?" The Doctor smiled at the look of joy on her face. His wonderful mixed up, back-to front wife who he first married in a school playground when she was eight and he was one thousand and forty five. No one said it would be simple, or straightforward, but it was perfect.

**Please review. Please do it. Please?**


	42. Twister

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-Two: Twister

**Disclaimer: **They ent mine, innit blud.

_**Author's Note: Aww thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last part :D really glad you all enjoyed it, sorry I haven't replied been having some issues. But it does mean a lot to me, really does. This one is an early Doctor/later River timeliney one. Just a quick reminder that I'm not going with AGMGTW developments so they're all still just friends. Not that it matters but, yeah, no mum/dad refs here. This is an idea that myself & JBoogle both had & I thought if 2 people think it it must be worth doing! I think that's all, enjoy…**_

"Well this is a stupid game!" The Doctor announced loudly as Amy and Rory stood back and laughed.

"It's a brilliant game. I can't believe we never thought of playing it before!" Amy replied gleefully as she twirled the spinner elaborately.

"See that's why you need me here. I think up all the best games." River laughed flirtatiously as she nudged the Doctor with her foot and he wobbled precariously. Rory and Amy had both given up well over half an hour ago and the game had turned into a battle of wills more than anything else- both River and the Doctor determined to win.

"Left foot Red, Doctor." Rory said as the spinner finally stopped.

"No. I refuse to believe it. You're fixing this." The Doctor muttered angrily as he looked across at the two of them from the already awkward position he was in. So far he'd managed this with some degree of dignity but this move would mean he had to, essentially, straddle River and that was more than he was comfortable with. Far more.

"Come on sweetie, no one is _fixing _anything. If it's too hard you can always just give up." River grinned as she turned to look at him.

"Most definitely not." The Doctor muttered darkly as he moved his leg across River's body. He felt himself blush at the contact and knew, from the giggling from the side-lines, that this had not gone unnoticed by his companions. He glared at them, cursing this stupid game. In the future he would stick to what he was good at- rescuing people and planets and saving the day, definitely not twister. Twister was clearly not his strong point.

"Right hand yellow, River." Rory directed again and the Doctor bit on his lip to stop himself groaning as he felt River shift underneath him. This was really very inappropriate, he thought to himself, and he really should mind it more. In fact it felt rather nice, well it would have done if Rory and Amy weren't in the room- as it was it was just plain uncomfortable.

"There we go!" River said happily as she nimbly flipped herself over so her hand was on the correct colour and she was now smiling up at the Doctor, their faces inches apart.

"You didn't have to do that." The Doctor hissed quietly, there had been many other positions she could have moved into that would not required her turning herself to face him.

"No but it's much more fun to be able to watch you squirm sweetie." She laughed lightly as she moved her hands slightly and noted the traditional glance at her cleavage and then blush that the Doctor performed. It was so much fun to tease him in his early days.

"You could just urm… give up, you know River. Your arms must be getting tired by now." He noted hopefully.

"Oh I can go all night, don't you worry about me." River murmured and the Doctor felt himself shake slightly. Why did she have to be so… _River_ all the time? It made everything a lot more complicated.

"I said, left hand green, Doctor." Rory said loudly, clearly annoyed that these two thought their flirtation was more important than listening to his instructions. The Doctor groaned audibly as he looked down at his options. One space would mean stretching further away and therefore bringing himself closer to River while the other would mean placing his hand underneath her and being in constant contact with her. He was beginning to think it would be easier just to fake falling over and let her win before his body gave another kind of reaction to their proximity which would be a great deal more embarrassing.

"Thinking of giving in?" River asked cheekily, as if reading his mind.

"Never." The Doctor said determination as he moved his hand across and lowered himself slightly, bracing himself for the feel of her body touching his. He knew he was blushing again but there wasn't much he could do to stop it. He wasn't used to being this close to a woman, especially not one who could make him feel the things she did.

"You're good, Doctor. I'll give you that. But you're never going to win." River smiled slyly.

"Want to bet?" The Doctor grinned, feeling slightly more confident now he'd regained his balance.

"Oh yes." She smiled as she raised her eyebrows.

"And what are we betting?" He murmured against her ear so that prying ears, namely Amy and Rory who had fallen silent in the hopes of catching the conversation, couldn't hear.

"If I win you have to give me a massage." River whispered gently as the Doctor gulped. "And if you win you can ask me anything you want. No spoilers."

"You really that confident you're going to win?" He laughed. That woman was unbelievable.

"Of course I am. So, do we have a deal?" River asked flirtatiously.

"Deal." The Doctor agreed and the second the words had left his mouth he saw her face coming towards him as she crashed her lips to his, kissing him hungrily. The shock of this movement caused the Doctor to completely loose what little balance he had regained and come crashing down on top of River in a heap.

"That is cheating!" He shouted, outraged.

"Check the rule book Rory, does it mention a ban on kissing?" River asked but Amy and Rory were too busy rolling about laughing to consult any book. "I'll go get the massage oil then." River winked slightly as she untangled herself from him and sauntered off to her room leaving him to fall back onto the plastic mat in confusion. Was he supposed to follow? Was she being serious? That woman was a mystery he couldn't even begin to fathom out.

"Come on now Doctor!" River called from down the hallway. "A bet's a bet. I thought you were a man of your word." He grinned as he sprang lightly to his feet and ran after her, leaving the very confused Ponds wondering what on earth they'd just missed. Like she said, a bet was a bet. It would be rude not to go.

**Probably the last part till Monday as I have stupidly long shifts at work over the next few days so do review & keep me motivated to write on my breaks.**

_**A/N 2: Just to let you know there is now a smutty sequel to this in the form of a one-shot called 'What Happens When River Wins A Bet' on my profile if you want to check it out. **_


	43. Girl Talk

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-Three: Girl Talk

**Disclaimer:** I am running out of new & original ways to say this so here's the basics: I own none of the characters in Doctor Who.

**_Author's Note: Bonjour! Hope y'all had a good weekend and didn't miss me too much. I did not. Work distracts me from thinking about The Doctor and River and I resent having to do that all weekend hehe. Anyways this is a response to _Prone To Obsession's_ idea and I really hope I've done it justice. I'm always more nervous with other people's ideas! This is earlyish River lateish Doctor and also, I've decided for the purpose of this part, the TARDIS doesn't follow the Doctor's timeline. Because she can see all of time and Space she pretty much knows everything and all about the relationship anyway, just to clarify. Enjoy…_**

"River, you're doing it wrong!" The Doctor yelled loudly as he lurched over to the TARDIS controls where River stood.

"I'm doing exactly what you said to do!" She shouted back in alarm as the TARDIS jerked erratically from side to side.

"It's okay, it takes a while to get the hang of it." He said in a quieter, soothing voice as he reached across and pulled a lever that returned their flight to normal. Sometimes he forgot how young she was and that this was still one of her early lessons on how to fly the TARDIS.

"I've got the hang of it." River snapped impatiently as she folded her arms crossly. "But she doesn't like me."

"Of course she likes you. She loves you, like I do." The Doctor smiled and reached across to brush the hair out of her face but as he did he felt the TARDIS give a very noticeable jolt.

"See?" River called as tried to regain her balance "I told you, she doesn't like me." She added sadly as she eyed the console. She so desperately wanted to prove herself to both of them- to show she was finally a woman who could handle herself rather than a girl following the Doctor around like a love-sick puppy.

"What's this about, old girl?" The Doctor asked gently as he furrowed his brow and stroked the console gently, nodding. "But this is **River**… Come on you're just being silly now." He finished firmly

"What's going on? What are you saying about me?" River asked angrily, feeling thoroughly excluded.

"She's just being silly." The Doctor said, casting his TARDIS a stern look. "Getting jealous even though there's no need."

"What on earth has she got to be jealous of?" River growled slightly as she pulled her arms tighter into herself. If anyone should be getting jealous here, she thought angrily, it was her. She was trying to force her way into a relationship that had been going for centuries and it was no easy feat. The TARDIS hummed loudly and shook in response.

"Calm down, old girl." The Doctor muttered. "You're not losing me, what a ridiculous thing to think. I'm clearly right here!

"If she's going to be like this maybe you should just take me home." River said sulkily. "I'm not staying somewhere I'm not wanted."

"You are wanted. I want you." He smiled warmly trying to ignore the whining noise that was surrounding them. "And you can be quiet." He snapped, looking around him. "You know you're being out of line."

"I don't care. If she's going to be like this there's no way we can be together. Not travel together anyway. Just take me home." River sighed deeply.

"No. I'm not going to I-" he broke off quickly as the box surrounding them lurched once more, causing them to almost fall. "Right. That is it." He announced angrily as he pulled on the levers harder than was technically needed and parked the TARDIS roughly on the nearest planet. "I have had it with you two. I cannot deal with this bickering. I'm going out. And you two can sort it out between yourselves." He threw River a frustrated look and strode towards the doors, flung them open and then locked them behind him. River ran after him and banged angrily on the closed door she found herself confronted with.

"You're leaving me to talk to a box?" She shouted through the wooden doors. "That's ridiculous. I don't even understand her!" River sighed, letting her feet slip beneath her as she slid down the wall and sat on the floor. She knew things with the Doctor were always difficult but this was taking it just that step further. This was ridiculous. She felt hurt that he'd just left her alone and also suddenly unsure of where she belonged in the hearts of the man who had always told her she was the only woman he'd loved like this. That was what she was feeling but slowly she became aware of other feelings, not quite inside her but almost around her. There was a feeling of sadness, of loss and of anxiety. River sat there in silence for a while, trying to process all these feelings that threatened to overwhelm her.

"Is that… Is that you I can feel?" River asked quietly as her eyes darted around the room, unsure where to look when talking to what was basically a big thinking and feeling box. Instantly she knew that she was right. She could sense the TARDIS's feelings, the way that the Doctor must be able to. It felt very strange but somehow, also, completely normal. Like this was a natural progression for her. "You don't have to worry, you know. I'd never hurt him. Well I suppose you all ready know that don't you, you all ready know everything we'll ever say and ever do. So you must know I'd never do anything to hurt him- not intentionally any way. And that I'll never do anything to take him away from you. It's hard though, I know, sharing him. It's okay if you get jealous sometimes. You can't imagine how crazy my friends all thought I was when I used to tell them I was worried about his relationship with his blue box." River laughed and she felt her laugh with her, her anger ebbing away slowly. "I love him very much, like you do. We shouldn't fight- neither of us can have him completely but that doesn't mean it's any less special or any less real for either of us, does it?" River continued, looking for reassurance.

"Are you two friends yet?" The Doctor called chirpily through the doors, refusing to open them until River confirmed his theory.

"I hope you weren't listening!" River called as she pulled herself to her feet, patting the wall absentmindedly as she did. "That was very private girl-talk, you know!"

"Oh I'm sure it was." He laughed as he opened the doors, sensing the drama was over. "So did you pass the test?"

"Test? What test?" River asked in confusion. "Oh tell me you two didn't set this whole thing up!" She asked quickly, her anger rising once again.

"No!" The Doctor responded quickly, putting one hand on her arm to calm her. "No. I didn't have anything to do with this little tantrum. But I do know she's very protective of me and I figured that at some point she'd test you to make sure your feelings were urm…. Honest, towards me." He smiled slightly. "And the fact that you're still here, with me, as opposed to having been deposited in some deserted corner of the universe shows you in a very positive light." He laughed gently as he put his arms around her.

"I hate you both." River mumbled into his neck.

"No you don't." The Doctor grinned.

"No, I don't." She smiled as she leant up slightly to kiss him gently. "I love you."

"I love you too." He replied as he pulled her even closer and kissed her deeply. As they kissed the lights around them dimmed slightly and soft music began to filter through to where they stood and they knew she was giving them her approval. The one without a name watched the two lovers and wrapped them both in a blanket of her own love. She'd protect them forever and in every way she could- her Time Lord and his River.

**If you could spare a few seconds to tell me what you thought that would be BRILLIANT**


	44. Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-Four: Tell Me Sweet Little Lies.

**Disclaimer:** I own it not, I don't pretend to.

**_Author's note: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed these past few chapters & everyone who's just started reading. I loves you all! *mwah* This is a response to a prompt from the very lovely _x-Avarice-x _who fills my life with lovely ideas. This is an earlyish Doctor & later River one. Enjoy…_**

"River, can you hurry up?" The Doctor called anxiously as he tapped on the bathroom door. He was covered, completely drenched, in hideous bright yellow slime. And it was starting to smell. And River was hogging the main bathroom while Amy and Rory each had one of the smaller bathrooms. Three bathrooms had always seen far too many to have when it was just him on his own but suddenly now it seemed a very small number when they were all occupied and he was growing more filthy by the second.

"I'm going to be a while. It's all in my hair!" River called over the noise of the tumbling water. "And I have a lot of hair!" She laughed and he felt his hearts skip slightly at the thought of all that wonderful hair he loved to bury his hands in whenever the opportunity arouse.

"But I'm dirty River. And I really smell!" He whined as he rested his head against the door, sighing deeply.

"You can always come in, you know." She called throatily and he swallowed quickly, brain whirring very fast. "Wouldn't be the first time." Not the first time for her, he thought, but the first time for him. Kissing and cuddling he'd managed but walking into a room where he knew she'd be naked? He didn't know if he had the nerve. It had been a long time, a very long time since he'd been around anyone without clothes on. If he was being honest he was petrified. "Would it?" River asked as she pulled the door open a crack and engulfed him in steam.

He looked at her as the steam cleared around her. Her eyes were shining brightly with questions and her usual grin was fading slightly as she wrapped a towel around herself. He looked her up and down briefly, smiling at the beautiful sight he saw. He placed one hand on her cheek and she leaned hungrily into his touch- this early in his timeline she was grateful for any contact, any affection. He saw the relief that flooded her face and he knew, he just knew, that he couldn't tell her. He couldn't tell her how early it was for him- how little they'd done together. He couldn't break her heart, not again.

"Of course not." He smiled as he leaned in to kiss her but felt her recoil slightly as he opened his eyes in surprise.

"Not a chance I'm kissing you while you're covered in that stuff!" River laughed as she grabbed onto him and pulled him inside. He laughed slightly as he followed her further inside- praying that his nerve would hold out and he wouldn't turn and run. He remembered their first kiss and how much he'd inadvertently hurt her by exposing his inexperience. He didn't ever want to see that look on her face again and if it meant lying to her for a while then so be it.

"Better get it off then." He grinned as he watched her drop her towel quickly and hop behind the shower curtain, flashing him a cheeky smile as she did. He kicked his shoes off and peeled away his sticky clothes as he followed her quickly.

He stepped up behind her quickly, placing his arms around her waist as she lent back against him and felt the water washing over them both- washing away the mess from the day. He felt her soft skin against his and he felt a blush rise in his cheeks. She felt so lovely- like she belonged there, in his arms. She turned around and kissed him gently, her hands working through his hair, working out the slim and mud that was lodged there. He closed his eyes happily, memorising her touch. She washed him gently, kissing all the bruises that he'd acquired recently.

"This is early for you, isn't it?" She whispered gently in his ear and he jumped slightly, his eyes flying open.

"How can you tell?" He asked guiltily. He thought he'd been doing so well.

"Well usually you'd have me pushed up against the wall by now." River laughed lightly as she kissed his neck gently.

"Would you urm… Would you like me to do that now?" He asked nervously, eyes flicking between her and the wall as he placed his hands on her waist in an attempt to be assertive.

"No sweetie." She said gently, as she put her hands each side of his face and looked deep into his eyes. "No need to rush it, we've got all the time in the world." She smiled warmly, trying to hide the lies that were painted across her face. They had everything, everything she could ever wish for apart from time. Time they never had. "Now, will you wash my back for me?" She grinned as she turned around again. She didn't want him to see any hurt that may have flashed across her face. She loved this, loved being held by him and close to him. It wasn't his fault that he hadn't known her long enough to grab her with the passion he usually did. She wanted him to feel he could take time to explore their relationship slowly even if it meant lying to him and pretending it didn't hurt when she saw him slipping away from her.

He grabbed the sponge eagerly and pulled her hair across to one side so her back was clear. He kissed her lightly across her shoulders as he began to lather the soap across her- enjoying the sensation of her skin under his fingers as he did. He heard her moan lightly at the contact and he smiled broadly, he could get used to this. Being able to touch her, see her naked- it was more than he'd ever dreamed of. He knew it wasn't what she was used to, that he wasn't as confident around her as he should be yet, but this felt perfect to him. He felt like the luckiest being in the universe to be able to hold her and touch her like this. Maybe she was right, he thought, maybe they really did have time to take it slowly. And if not, well… He was a quick learner.

**Please review it would make me a very happy bunny.**


	45. Brawl

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-Five: Brawl. 

**Disclaimer:** Gah. I owns it not, do not sue me!

**_Author's Note: Firstly, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Oh my Doctor I love you all. This story is on 597 reviews at the moment. Nearly 600! Gah can you believe it? I really truly can't. But enough of the gushing, you all know you're brilliant. This is an earlier River/later Doctor one 'cause I ain't done one of those in a while (I imagine her being early 20s here) and the original idea comes from_shadowcat012, _I've tinkered with it a bit but hope you like it! Everyone please continue to forward any more prompts you have onto me as I always worry about the day when my ideas sheet will be empty. Anyways, enjoy…_**

"Get off me!" River yelled loudly as she struggled against her friend's grip as she pulled her backwards forcefully.

"No, River. She's not worth it." Emma shouted over the loud music as she tightened her grip on her wild friend as River kicked her legs in an attempt to break free. River might have been far stronger than Emma but over the years her close friend had learnt how to restrain the feisty girl when needed. And it was often needed.

"I don't care. I'm going to bloody kill her." River shouted once again as she locked eyes with the girl who stood across the bar from her that she'd lunged towards a few moments ago. "No one spreads vicious rumours about me and gets away with it."

"It doesn't matter though, River." Her friend tried to pacify her as she still held onto her tightly. "No one believes the stupid cow anyway."

"I'm pretty sure all the boys in our class do otherwise they wouldn't have been trying so hard to hit on me." River muttered angrily.

"No on believes you did **anything** with James Lacey, who would think you'd stoop so low?" Emma explained patiently.

"She's been saying I've been with James Lacey too? What is her problem?" River shouted as she struggled once more, with more ferocity than ever, her friend hanging on for dear life. "I am going to **kill** her!" River muttered dangerously.

"You need to calm down. You can't afford to get into any more trouble River, they'll kick you off the course." She pleaded.

"Let them try. They should just be glad my gun's in my dorm otherwise she would be a dead woman!" River laughed bitterly.

"Right you've mentioned guns- that's it. I really didn't want to do this but if you don't calm down right now I'm going to have to call him." Emma said in a strained voice.

"You wouldn't dare. You wouldn't know how to!" River said defiantly.

"Oh trust me we have a system after the last time you ambushed that guy and nearly took his head off!" She sighed sadly at the memory.

"He deserved it. He was trying to mug an old lady." River shrugged simply.

"Old lady or not you need to stay out of trouble. You're on your last warning. Now, are you going to calm down?" Her friend asked River sternly and they stared at each other before River shook her head resolutely, a fierce look in her eyes.

"Fine. Fine." Emma said huffily as she released one of River's arms and slid one hand into her friend's jacket pocket and pushed the small button on the side of her communicator. River sighed heavily as she did. "He'll be here within the minute. Emergency alarm." Emma smirked slightly.

"I could kill you. In fact I think I will." River muttered sulkily. "First I'll kill her and then I'll kill you."

"Oh dear. Double homicide threats? Well someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today." The Doctor laughed as he sauntered up behind sparring pair. "I'll take it from here if you like Emma." He smiled as she released River gratefully and walked away as quickly as she could, glad to hand over responsibility.

"You two are always ganging up on me." River muttered as she rubbed her wrists that were now rather red and sore. "Even though I'm in the right. As ever."

"I'm sure of you are River." He said soothingly as he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head gently. "But we can't just go around shooting everyone, remember?" He noted the fact that she was still standing very stiffly and that she hadn't even tried to kiss him yet. Something was obviously really upsetting her today. "What's happened River?" He asked gently, pulling back and looking deeply into her eyes.

"Just that stupid bitch, Danielle Shipley." River threw a dark look across the bar and the Doctor tightened his grip on her slightly as he felt her preparing to spring towards the girl once again. "She's been spreading all sorts of rumours about me with pretty much ever boy on campus so now all the guys think I'm really easy and that it's their right to sleep with me and all the girls hate me for things that I've supposedly done with their boyfriends."

"She's just jealous you know." The Doctor murmured as he stroked her face. "Jealous that you're more beautiful and talented and clever than she could ever dream of being."

"Oh I know." River laughed as she kissed him lightly. "But that doesn't take away my urge to shoot her."

"Well let's get out of here before you decide to act on that urge and get yourself thrown out of university. Archaeology or not your degree is still important." He grinned.

"What so we're just going to let her get away with it?" River protested as he grabbed her hand and started dragging her towards the parked TARDIS.

"When did I say that?" He replied with a large grin and River laughed loudly.

"So what have you got in mind?" She asked as she skipped alongside him, her mood suddenly lifted.

"Oh I don't know yet. But we'll find something we can do that won't get you into trouble. Maybe we could go and catch her later and dye her hair blue in her sleep or something. She doesn't look like the type who'd appreciate blue hair." He winked as he pushed open the door of the TARDIS and pulled River close to him as she went to step inside. "No one says things like that about you River. Not while I'm here." He smiled and kissed her deeply.

"And they say I'm the troublemaker." River laughed loudly as they walked forward, arm in arm and closed the door on the noisy bar behind them.

"Oh you are." He muttered flirtatiously, pushing her up against the wall gently as he kissed her neck.

"And I wonder where I learnt that from?" River smiled as she ran her hands through his hair, trying to let the stress of the evening fall away from her.

"The very best, of course." He grinned at her again as his eyes sparkled mischievously. They were going to make a lot of trouble tonight.

**Reviews are brilliant. **


	46. How To Make Friends And Influence People

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory Forty-Six: How To Make Friends And Influence People. 

**Disclaimer:** I actually own a character in this one! Woop. Not the Doctor or River or the series though :( ah well, can't have it all.

_**Author's Note: Hello sweeties, I'm writing this sitting on my break at work with many non Whovians surrounding me who think I'm very strange. Just thought I'd share that. This is a roughly mid-time fic & was inspired by the fact that I realised I hadn't written anything with any companions other than the Ponds. So I made my own shiny new one. Enjoy…**_

The Doctor woke suddenly due to the pain in his back and looked around, still blurry eyed, trying to work out where he was and why he wasn't in his own bed. He looked down in confusion to see what was weighing his arm down and saw River lying there, snuggled close to him and fast asleep. He grinned broadly, suddenly remembering the reason for the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements. They'd had the best of intentions, they'd tried really hard, but somehow the bedroom had just been too far away and the floor of the control room had done the job just as well. He leant down to kiss her gently to wake her up, smiling as he did. He loved River's surprise visits.

"Morning sweetie." She mumbled sleepily as she wrapped her arm around him and pulled him closer to her.

"Mmm. A very good morning to you too River Song." He murmured seductively as he ran his hands over the few remaining garments of clothes that River had managed to keep in tact after last night's antics.

"Well someone's keen." River noted, laughing but definitely not complaining.

"Got to make the most of you while you're here, haven't I?" He raised one eyebrow as he pulled her close to him, his hands trying to pry off any lose articles of clothing as she laughed heartily.

"Doctor have you seen the-" A young girl shouted as she ran into the room but froze quickly at the sight that met her eyes. She looked quickly from the Doctor to River and back again as the Doctor scrabbled to grab his coat to throw over the two of them to try to regain an ounce of dignity.

"Oh yes urm Katy. Have you urm met my wife? This is River." He blushed furiously as River waved coyly and let out a short laugh at the crestfallen expression on Katy's face. She was young, petite, dark-haired and looked utterly heartbroken at seeing him in such a compromising position.

"Your… Your what?" She stuttered eventually.

"Wife." River supplied, smiling slightly. "River Song. Nice to meet you."

"But he never… You never mentioned her!" She hissed, glaring across at the Doctor.

"He doesn't tend to. Wonky timelines, never sure when he's going to see me or when I'll drop out of the sky and surprise him. So he doesn't tend to dwell on it, we kind of live for the moment." She shrugged. _Well, I can see that_ Katy thought as she crossed her arms- very put out by the arrival of this new woman.

"Right. Okay." She muttered. "I just kind of thought that we were…" She trailled off, looking away. This was so embarrassing. How could she have got this so wrong?

"Oh don't worry, they all do." River smiled gently, knowing exactly what the young girl was thinking.

"But you kissed me!" Katy announced, remembering suddenly.

"He does that a lot." River laughed as the Doctor opened his mouth to protest. "Did you happen to be in a life-threatening situation and that was the only way he could save you?" She glanced across at him and saw him smile and relax slightly. River always knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Well yes but I thought he was just using that as an excuse." The young girl admitted grudgingly. "You always hold my hand and kiss me on the forehead and-"

"I know." River nodded. "He does that a lot too. I can understand how it's confusing for you."

"And this?" Katy nodded down at their still entwined bodies and his hand that was roaming through River's hair. "Does he do this a lot?" She added almost hopefully.

"Oh, an awful lot." River laughed. "But only with me." She said it lightly but there was a firmness behind her voice and the young girl knew that the conversation was over.

"Right, sorry. Well I'll just let you two get urm… changed. I'll be in my room when you're ready. There's a spaceship of some kind circling us but, y'know, take your time." She shrugged slightly as she walked off, a confused look plastered across her face.

"I didn't know she thought that." The Doctor said quickly, looking guiltily at River and wondering how much trouble he was in.

"Of course you didn't. You never realise, my love. They always love you. It's impossible not to love you." She spoke warmly and leant up to kiss him.

"You're not cross?" He asked quietly.

"Of course not sweetie. You can't help being a mad man with a blue box who turns young girl's lives upside down now can you?"

"But I never mean to… I just want to be friends, you know?" The Doctor mumbled almost sadly.

"I know my love." River said affectionately as she kissed the top of his head.

"You're taking this all very well." He said happily.

"I know you'd never notice their feelings, let respond to them." River laughed gently as he nodded happily. "But if, just for once, you could manage to choose a man, or anyone who's not romantically interested in you, to travel with I would be grateful. This speech is getting a bit old."

"I'll bare that in mind." He agreed, grinning. "But really, is there anyone who's not romantically interested in me? I'm irresistible."

"Oh you don't have to tell me that." She smiled as she kissed him deeply.

"I think it's the bowtie that does it." He confessed as they broke apart. River just laughed as she pulled him towards her and they fell back onto the floor. Katy could wait a few more minutes.

**Please review & make me feel loved by my wonderful Whovian friends. **


	47. Disco

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-Seven: Disco

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the Doctor and River Song. Although due to the amount of time I spend writing/thinking about them I think I should be at least given a small share.

_**Author's Note: A huge thank you to all you wonderful people who reviewed my last part, I loves you! This is a young River part (about 12/13 here) and older Doctor of course, cause that's how it works. Hope y'all enjoy this latest offering…**_

"Come and dance River!" One of the girls called across from the centre of the dance floor where they all stood in a row doing synchronised dance moves to the latest pop offering that was topping the charts.

"I will do soon." River smiled slightly from where she sat on one of the chairs around the edge of the hall. She stirred her straw in her coke as she glanced around the room for the millionth time.

"You still think he's going to turn up? He's got more important things to go to than your silly school disco." The girl laughed cruelly as she turned away and began gossiping to the crowd of other girls that surrounded her, giggling.

"He will be here. Don't worry." River called back crossly. They weren't even listening any more, they'd all ready decided this was just another one of her stories but she knew, she just _knew_ that he would come. He'd promised and he never broke a promise. She sighed as she looked around at all the other kids screaming and chasing each other. She wanted to be like them, to act like the kid she was but she'd seen too much, knew too much, for it to be a possibility. And she spent all her time waiting for a man who understood this and yet could make her forget it. With him around, then she could act however she wanted.

"Why so serious, Song?" The Doctor asked as he leaned on the wall next to where she sat, crossing his arms and smiling as she jumped at the sound of his voice.

"I didn't hear you get here!" She grinned as she jumped up to hug him.

"Master of subtlety, that's what they call me." He smiled.

"No they don't!" River laughed loudly.

"You're right, they really don't. I'm pretty glad they don't either." The Doctor mused.

"Me too. 'The Doctor' is much less of a mouthful." River agreed lightly, he heart beating just a bit too fast as he hugged her tighter before letting her go.

"So no dancing? Isn't that what you're supposed to do at a disco?" He looked around at the other people in the room.

"None of them know how to dance, not really. They just practise the same moves that all the pop stars do over and over. It's boring." River rolled her eyes.

"Shall we show them how it's done, then?" The Doctor asked as he held out his hand to her and she giggled before taking it as he spun her into the centre of the room.

The music was loud and far too cheerful as they got to the dance floor but they didn't care. Grinning across at one another they began to dance like no one was watching although, in reality, everyone was watching. They threw their arms up and bounced in time to the music. Their legs went everywhere and at all the wrong times, they grabbed each other's hands and spun around until they thought they would fall over. Song after song played and the Doctor didn't know any of the words or even any of the tunes but he didn't let that stop him from dancing as if it were his favourite song of all time. The other kids gazed at them with a mixture of confusion and awe. They would never dare do something souncool but the more they watched the more they wanted to be having the kind of fun those two were.

"Shall we get a drink?" The Doctor panted eventually. Hours of dancing was all well and good but it didn't half make you thirsty. River nodded quickly as she walked back to the seats she'd been perched on before he'd arrived and he joined her a second later with two bottles of pop. "Cheers!" He announced as he handed her hers and they clicked them lightly together. She drank greedily and he watched her, smiling.

"Thank you for coming." She grinned as she finished, hiccupping slightly.

"Did you ever doubt I would?" He asked hesitantly.

"Never. You promised." River smiled almost shyly.

"Good. Because I will always come, y'know River." The Doctor insisted earnestly.

"Oh dear, the 'I will always come back' speech." River rolled her eyes as she smiled at him. "Does this mean it's time for you to leave?"

"How did you get so smart?" The Doctor laughed.

"I had a good teacher." She grinned up at him, leaning back into her chair.

"That I don't doubt. And you're right. I do have to go. But I'll be back soon, I promise. Okay?" He almost whispered as he lent over to hug her.

"I look forward to it." She smiled and he felt his hearts lurch. It was impossible, this relationship. The symmetry was wonderful and yet so heart breaking because he knew how it felt to be her, sat there with all the wonders still to come and he knew how she felt all those years in her future and his past when they'd had this conversation the other way around.

"I remember it well." He smiled as she laughed and he got up to walk away. As he reached the doorway he turned back to look at her. She had so much still to come, so many experiences to go through and he'd had them all already. He wanted to wish that they could have the opportunity to look forward to things together but he couldn't because they wouldn't be _them_ then. They wouldn't be caught in their circle of love. If she'd never had a crazy man who knew every last thing about her to guide her through her childhood she might never have become the woman he first fell in love with. And he wouldn't change that for anything.

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	48. A Bit Of Role Reversal

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-Eight: A Bit Of Role-Reversal. 

**Disclaimer:** I wish, but sadly still no.

**_Author's Note: I hope everyone's still enjoying these little drabbles, I know I've been rambling on at you with them for a while now but I have to get my Doctor/River fix somehow ;) This one is a response to an idea from _Songbird15_ and it's ealyish Doctor when he trusts her but they haven't become a proper couple for him, if you know what I mean. Anyways, enjoy! _**

"Now is the time you normally come up with one of those brilliant ideas of yours." Amy announced through chattering teeth as she paced up and down inside the cell. It was freezing cold and they'd been locked in there for hours, awaiting their fate.

"Yes I know that Amy, thank you very much." The Doctor replied angrily as he too began to pace the floor leaving Rory getting slightly dizzy from the sight of them both. "And usually this would be no problem- just a little break out from a high security, reinforced and heavily guarded prison. Could do it in my sleep, have done I think, but no sonic and no TARDIS, no weapons of any kind and a brain that is rather fuzzy from being drugged." He hit himself hard on the side of the head. "Think, think, come on when did I get so **stupid**?"

"Doctor they're coming. They're going to take us away and execute us for crimes against the emperor. If you're going to make a plan now is a really good time!" Amy shrieked as she pushed herself up against the bars to get a better look at the approaching captors.

"Well it would be a lot easier if you were quiet!" He snapped as he rubbed his temples, deep in thought. Amy looked furious but she shut her mouth and stopped pacing so the only noise inside the cell was that of the footsteps of the oncoming soldiers. "Right, okay. There is no plan." He announced brightly. "I've thought about it, thought about every possibility and there is nothing we could do to escape from here." He finished abruptly and his two companions gaped at him, open mouthed, waiting for the rest of the sentence.

"So we're just going to walk to our deaths are we, is that it?" Rory asked hysterically.

"Did I say that, Rory the Roman? When did I ever say that? One day I'm going to find someone who actually listens to me rather than just-"

"Doctor!" Amy shouted across his train of rambling thought "If we can't escape then how are we going to not die very soon?"

"River." He grinned happily.

"You've got a way to get a message to her?" Rory asked with relief. "Is she on her way?"

"Nope. No way of getting in touch with her what so ever." He said, still smiling, as the soldiers slid open the bars of the cell.

"And so how will she know to come and rescue us?" Rory said, with panic rising in his voice as he backed away from the oncoming soldiers.

"Well…." The Doctor thought for a moment. "She's River. She knows these things. I've probably mentioned it at some point in the future. Yes, I'm sure I would have. I'm very clever like that."

"So just to clarify," Rory began as they all got grabbed roughly and pushed forward out of the cell with large guns stuck firmly in their backs. "Our only hope of survival is a woman who is locked in a prison very similar to this one, in a completely different time zone who may or may not know that we're here waiting for her."

"Yep." The Doctor smiled as they walked together along the corridor towards their doom. He skipped slightly.

"Great. Just great. We're all going to die." Rory said melodramatically.

"Not if you duck." A voice came from the end of the corridor and the three friends spun around instantly. "You too sweetie, everyone down!" River shouted and the Doctor grabbed hold of Amy and Rory and pulled them to the ground as a torrent of bullets flew over their heads.

They lay there for a few moments with their hands over their heads until the noise from above stopped. Gingerly the Doctor looked up and saw River spinning two guns and placing them back into her holster. He looked behind and saw the soldiers all collapsed on the floor in a pile while she didn't have a scratch on her. He swallowed hard and pulled himself up and walked towards her with a determined look on his face.

"Miss me sweetie?" She asked, grinning. "You know there are easier ways to see me that don't involve getting yourself arrested and nearly killed. And before you start telling me off they're not dead they're just stunned so-"

"Shut up." The Doctor said quickly, staring at her very hard.

"I beg your pardon?" River said as her eyes grew wide.

"I said 'shut up'" He grinned as he pulled her towards him and kissed her deeply, trying to ignore the racing of his hearts as he did. He'd never been this forward with her before but now seemed like a very good time to start.

"Oh now he gets the whole kissing thing." Amy rolled her eyes as she and Rory walked up to where the couple stood, lips still entwined. "At the most inappropriate moment of course. Stunned not dead, remember? Mortal danger? Am I talking to myself?" Amy nearly shouted until they finally broke apart.

"Well what was that for?" River laughed gently as she rested her forehead against his and he peppered tiny kisses onto her face.

"I think I'm old enough now." He smiled gently.

"Sorry, what?" She looked at him with confusion.

"Ah, spoilers River Song." He laughed and Amy tutted loudly.

"Always with the flirting in life-threatening situations with you two. Come on, TARDIS, now." Amy clapped and they broke apart reluctantly.

"Thank you for coming." He whispered as they began to walk quickly to where the TARDIS was parked.

"Anything for you, my love." River smiled across at him.

"What did I do to deserve you?" The Doctor mused quietly.

"Oh everything. And nothing. It's a long story." She reached down and held his hand as they stepped towards the open TARDIS doors where the Ponds waited for them.

"I can't wait." He smiled and she grinned back at him. Their story was the best one she could never tell. But she could live it and so could he. And that was even better.

**Reviews? Oh, I love those little things! **


	49. Heart To Heart

Not One For The Diary

Memory Forty-Nine: Heart to Heart

**Disclaimer:** I am just a girl who has a minor (ahem) obsession with The Doctor & River. They are not my creations. Deal with it.

_**Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updates in the past few days, my real life is being all sucky and demanding my attention *cries* how very rude of it, I know! Also sorry for any typos etc in this, I'm having to write it up very quickly at work! But here is one for you. This is a very early Doctor piece, I imagine it being after Day Of The Moon in his timeline. It originally sprang from an idea from Robin but it has kind of taken on a different direction to the one I intended so I hope you enjoy it! **_

"How long does it take?" The Doctor muttered sulkily as he tapped his foot impatiently and rubbed his arms in a vain attempt to warm his freezing body up. "I could have brought the TARDIS back at least ten times by now."

"Yes, my love, I know." River muttered soothingly as she shivered. She'd heard this rant a fair few times in the last hour they'd been stranded on the frozen planet. "But Amy and Rory are not you know whatever made the TARDIS act that way is not going to let them just fly it back that easily. You need to be patient, there's nothing we can do but wait and hope that they can find their way back."

"But I hate waiting." He pouted. "And I'm cold. Really, really cold. And all my warm clothes are in the TARDIS." River rolled her eyes as he folded his arms crossly. He was such an overgrown child at times.

"I'll see what I can do." River said as she pulled her backpack closer to her and began rifling through. "Ah I knew it was in here somewhere!" She said triumphantly as she pulled a blanket from the depths of her bag.

"I don't suppose you have another one in there, do you?" He asked hopefully.

"No I don't." River said flatly. "And you know as well as I do that it would be far more beneficial if we got under the same one." She smirked slightly at the bashful look that crossed his face.

"I don't… I urm don't think we should…" He stuttered, alarmed at the idea of being quite so close to her.

"I won't bite you. Come on, it's really cold." River laughed as she sat down with the blanket wrapped around her and lifted one side so he could come and sit next to her.

"I just don't know if it would be a good idea…" He murmured nervously as he chewed on his lip. Everything was so complicated with River. He wanted to sit next to her, to hold her and it was for reasons other than the bitter cold but he didn't know if he should let himself. Last time they met she'd kissed him and if he now started getting under blankets with her he had no idea what would happen. And these things shouldn't happen with a woman he didn't really know and wasn't sure if he could trust. And he shouldn't want them to happen, but he did.

"Fine. You stay there, but don't come crying to me when you get frostbite." River laughed lightly, trying to conceal her pain at his lack of emotion towards her. It killed her to see him like this but she couldn't, she wouldn't, let it show.

"I suppose I should really." The Doctor mused quietly, trying to convince himself there was a rational logic behind his actions, as he moved towards her. "Just because of the cold. It is very cold." He hovered next to her for a second before taking a deep breath and sitting next to her and pulling the blanket around them both. He felt her slip her arms around him and pull him to the ground so they were completely covered. He shivered slightly but thought it had little to do with the cold that was rapidly leaving him.

"I guess this isn't a good time to mention that we would warm up a lot quicker without our clothes on because it would transfer more body heat?" River grinned wickedly and the Doctor blushed.

"You are a very bad girl, Doctor Song." He muttered and River laughed loudly. They were so close he could feel it reverberating through him as she did and he was very aware that she could probably feel how much quicker this made his hearts beat.

"And you love it." She whispered seductively and he swallowed hard, finding he had no reply for once. He did love it. He loved it a bit more than he should, and he found he was loving her a bit more than he should. He didn't do this. He didn't have these strange feelings he couldn't explain for anyone, ever. But, he remembered with a jolt, as she'd told him on that fateful day- she wasn't anyone. And, as with everything else, it seemed she was right. He sat there, very quiet, feeling her wrapped around him, trying to figure out what on earth he had with this woman.

"What's going on in that brilliant brain of yours, sweetie?" River asked gently as she gazed up at him.

"Oh the usual. All of time and space running about in there getting all twistey and turney." He replied lightly, trying to dodge the real question.

"You know what I meant." River said sternly.

"I was just thinking about you, actually." The Doctor admitted grudgingly. He cursed silently as he felt himself blushing again. "It's so strange. I don't know you, not really, or who you are or who you've killed and why and yet-" He stopped suddenly because he felt something damp on his chest. He looked down quickly. "River are you okay? Are you… Crying?" He asked in surprise. He didn't know how to deal with crying women at the best of time but a crying _River_ was completely too awful to contemplate.

"No." She said stiffly, not looking up at him and biting down on her lip hard to stop it from trembling.

"It's okay if you are, you know." He said gently, hoping this was the right thing to say.

"No it's bloody not." River snapped and the Doctor groaned mentally, obviously that was the wrong thing to say. "I never cry. Never. In fact I think this is the third time I've ever cried in front of you and it's so stupid."

"If it makes you feel better it's my first." The Doctor smiled gently.

"My last." River whispered as tears streamed down her face. "My everything." She chuckled slightly to herself.

"Sorry?" The Doctor asked in confusion.

"Don't worry. Earth Song. You'd know that. The other you, the older you. The one I'll never-" She broke off suddenly as she felt him lift her face up to meet his. He took a deep breath and lent down brushed his lips very gently, but very purposefully against hers.

"But… But…" River stammered as her eyes scanned his quickly. "You don't know me. You don't even-" The tears she never shed began to fall freely once again as he pushed a finger to her lips.

"I know. And I'm too old and too clever to get involved with someone I don't know completely. It would be a very stupid thing to do." He smiled as he kissed her again. He'd been dying to do that ever since he'd left her in storm cage. "But I don't think we should let little things like that stop us. Not when the alternative is so much more fun." He kissed her again because he could, because he wanted to- no matter what it meant and because he knew it would stop her crying and for some reason, some reason he couldn't understand just yet, he knew he'd do anything to stop this woman from being upset. And if it involved kissing her then that was a bonus for him.

**Please review. Please? **


	50. Do You Trust Me?

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fifty: Do You Trust Me?

**Disclaimer: **Yeah, they're mine. All mine. Haha. I jokes.

_**Author's Note: As if you've all stuck with me for fifty parts! That is insane. And completely fantastic. I love you all and thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to review each part. *happy dance* This one is an early/mid River I imagine her being late 20s early 30s here. This part is dedicated to freakedoutgeek as an apology for all the angst I've been putting you through! That is about all I have to declare for this one. So, enjoy my loves…**_

"We really need to make a run for it, sweetie." River whispered as they stood huddled in the corner, anxiously watching the patrol that went by.

"As much as I love running, and I really do love running, I don't know if that's quite the best idea right now." The Doctor replied in an equally quite voice. Why was it always the creatures with the exceptionally good hearing they ended up hiding from? And why were they always intent on hunting them down and capturing them? One day, he thought, he would take her to a planet when they didn't have to flee from it a few short hours later.

"Well it's either run or get locked in here when they shut it for the night in a few moments. And you know as well as I do that these guys take their security very seriously, and their nights are very long." River said with her eyebrow raised and her arms folded. He was going to fight her on this- she could just tell. It would be so much easier if he just accepted she knew what she was talking about, she thought with a sigh. But that was never likely to happen.

"Yes, I know that." He said with a slight tinge of frustration in his voice. Sometimes she talked to him like he was so _stupid._ "But just running into the middle of a procession does not seem like the smartest idea."

"It's the only idea that will work, and it's mine so of course it's the smartest idea." River snapped. "Now come on. Trust me on this one." He looked at her deeply and she saw something soften in his expression. "You do trust me, don't you?" Her voice hovered somewhere between jokey and unsure.

"Trust you, my darling River Song?" He turned so he was facing her completely and placed one hand each side of her face. "Always and completely, with my life. Remember that." His eyes bore into hers and he wanted to make sure that she understood. That she would know, forever, that this was how he felt. He knew that she would need this knowledge to get her through the times when he pushed her away and hurt her. He thought back to those days, so early for him, when he'd spat so many words out at her in frustration and spite and it made him feel sick. He knew he could never take it back, never change it, but maybe he could make up for it so she would know, when that fateful time came for her, that it wasn't how he really felt.

"Good." She grinned and he lent in to kiss her quickly, pulling her closer to him. He kissed her with everything he had and ever would have. He wanted her to know, for now and forever, just how much he loved her and that he would follow her to the end of the universe. She moaned softly at the intimacy of his kiss and his hands began to wander excitedly across her body, coming to rest on her bum and grabbing it so he pulled her even closer to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. It wasn't until his hands started roaming under her shirt that River realised where they were and pulled herself away with a groan.

"None of _that_ now." She smirked as she slapped his hands away and he pouted. "You are terrible. One day your ability to be so easily distracted by my body will land us in serious trouble."

"It would be worth it, though." He said as he tried to wrap his arms around her again.

"Not now!" He words were stern but she smirked as she wriggled out of his grasp. "First we escape and then when we're in the TARDIS, then and only then, you can do whatever you want."

"Is that a promise, Miss Song?" He muttered seductively.

"Would I lie to you?" She grinned cheekily.

"Oh, yes. All the time." He laughed gently.

"Well I'm not this time." River smiled. "Trust me?"

"Always." The Doctor smiled at her as she held out her hand to him. He caught it and held on tightly, never wanting to let go. And together they ran.

**Reviews take me to a happy place.**


	51. Arranged Marriage

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fifty-One: Arranged Marriage

**Disclaimer:** It's really not mine. Not even slightly.

**_Author's Note: A million thanks to all you wonderful beings who reviewed the last part! Sorry it's been a while since I updated. Life is sucky etc. This is an early Doctor/late River piece based on a prompt from _Emi-Stella._ All ideas received with open arms, as ever! Enjoy…_**

"River, go after her!" The Doctor called from the console as the TARDIS door slammed and the red-headed companion disappeared onto the unknown planet beyond.

"Why do I have to go?" River sighed heavily as she gazed at the closed doors.

"Because Rory's stomped off after their argument and I'm trying work out where, when and why we are. Oh and I went after her last time they had a fight." The Doctor laughed slightly as River rolled her eyes and grabbed her unsuitably high-heels and put them on.

"I am so not dressed for a rescue mission." She grumbled slightly as she gestured down at the floor-length, fitted blue dress she wore.

"Yes well, you should dress more appropriately." The Doctor grinned as he saw the anger flicker across her face. He loved winding her up- she was so pretty when she was annoyed.

"This is completely appropriate for the theatre. Which is where you said we were going." River sighed as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. The Doctor made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat as he continued to scan the area. River stood up and walked to the doors quickly, clearly she was not going to get any help from him. "Fine but if anything happens to me, or this dress, I am holding you fully responsible!" She laughed.

"Oh everything's my fault. As ever." He grumbled as he looked across at where she stood with one hand on the door.

"Glad you're catching on, my love." River laughed as she pushed the doors open. "See you later!"

"Be… Careful." The Doctor finished flatly as she'd already disappeared into the distance.

XoxoxoX

"Amy!" River called as she ran over to where she saw the red-head sitting on a large rock in the barren desert surrounding. Her head was dropped onto her hands and she looked like she was feeling very sorry for herself. "Amy. You can't just storm off like that, we have no idea where we are!" Her voice was harsh but there was concern for her friend etched into her eyes.

"I can't cope with him when he's being like that." Amy said sulkily. "I needed some space, is that okay with you?" She and Rory rarely fought but when they did they fought properly. Amy blamed it on her Socttishness and Rory often blamed it on her Scottishness too but only when she was out of ear-shot. Whatever the reason when her temper flared up it resulted in them having one of these massive arguments and storming off to cool down for a few hours.

"It's absolutely fine but there are plenty of places within the TARDIS you can go if you want some space where you're not likely to be eaten or kidnapped or whatever else might happen on some unknown planet." River said firmly. "C'mon, I'll show you some good hiding places if you like." She coaxed gently as she placed a hand on the younger woman's arm.

"Fine." Amy gave in, sighing deeply as she stood up. "But there is no way I'm apologising. Or talking to him in any way." River laughed lightly as she began walking back to the TARDIS.

"Halt!" A loud voice boomed from behind them and the two women froze instantly.

"I thought it was all too good to be true." River groaned as she turned around to locate the source of the voice.

"Where are your owners?" The creature asked in the same booming voice as River quickly looked him over. He looked very similar to a human aside from the bright blue hair and extra eye that sat in the middle of his forehead and he was dressed in a way that reminded her strongly of a caveman. River groaned slightly.

"Of course." She muttered quietly to Amy. "Dentans. And this must be one of the Nebulat planets… Although it's a lot earlier than I've ever been here before which means… Oh dear. That's not good."

"What? Where? And why is that not good?" Amy whispered back quickly. "You're getting as bad as him!"

"Denatans they're the inhabitants of this cluster of planets and they're very solitary, very much ruled by the laws of their planets and don't really interact with other creatures." River explained quickly.

"Oh is that why this is not good?" Amy asked.

"Oh no, it gets worse. From what I remember they have very specific rules about women, believing they should all be married young and when they are they become the property of their husbands and aren't allowed to do anything without them." She continued, looking grim.

"Oh God, it's like feminism never happened." Amy moaned, suddenly realizing the gravity of their situation.

"Trust me Amy, here, feminism really has never happened. It's not even an idea." River shook her head sadly.

"Why are you two talking?" The Dentan interrupted rudely. "And where are your owners?"

"We don't have _owners_" Amy snapped, her temperature rising to the surface again. "We come from a world where we actually have rights and can be our own people."

"Amy although I admire your stand I don't think-" River began but was silenced quickly by the creature.

"No owners? Not from here?" The Dentan asked quickly. "Well we must fix that." He reached down quickly and took out two metallic wrist bands which he flung in the direction of the women and they tied their wrists effortlessly together and bound them to him. "We shall find you owners, there are many eligible youngsters who would be willing to take you on."

"Yeah, like I was saying I don't think that was the best stance to take." River hissed quietly to Amy and then continued addressing the Dentan who had captured them directly. "Sorry, I don't think that's going to be an option." She said loudly.

"And why not?" He asked crossly.

"We're all ready married in earth tradition and you know you cannot intervene on the customs of other worlds." River said confidently.

"Prove it." He laughed darkly.

"urm yeah how do we prove that?" Amy asked nervously.

"Give me a minute." River replied testily, her face screwed up in concentration. "Come on old girl, you can do it…" She muttered and sure enough a few seconds later the TARDIS materialised a few meters away and the boys poked their heads out looking completely confused.

"What's going on?" Rory asked as he looked from Amy to River and their shackles and back again quickly.

"Rory, show him your ring. Your wedding ring. And tell him to release us." River instructed and Rory ran forward to talk to their captor. Sure enough after a second River and Amy felt their bonds release.

"Amy, you have to show him your ring too." Rory said pleadingly, unsure how Amy would react to him after their fight.

"Gladly. After an encounter with him I'm starting to realise how lucky I am to have you." Amy smiled as she lent over to kiss him gently.

"What's happened?" The Doctor asked as he walked forward, looking concerned as River rubbed her sore wrists.

"They need proof of an existing marriage contract for me and Amy or else we're both basically sold into slavery. Well, without the selling. Given into slavery really." River said bitterly.

"Well that's no problem for them. He can do a memory scan using their rings and she'll be free." The Doctor said quickly, watching as it happened in front of him. "But what about you? What are you going to do?"

"Oh yeah, about that…" River grinned as she slipped her hand inside her bag. "Take this." She placed a small gold band into his palm as she placed a sparkling ring onto her own finger.

"Rings." The man grunted as he ambled towards them. River looked pleadingly at the Doctor not to argue as she slipped her own off once more and handed it over. She saw with relief that the Doctor was doing the same.

The Doctor looked on in confusion as he saw his newly acquired ring being scrutinised and held up to the light. He held his breath momentarily, knowing what was going to happen and feeling both terrified and elated at the idea of it. Sure enough he felt memories flood through him that belonged to him and yet he'd never experienced. He saw River smile at him as tears sparkled in her eyes. He felt her lips brush against his as his hands touched her beautiful dress. He felt her arms lace around him as they danced. He heard vows and saw beautiful flowers. After a moment he came back to reality, gasping as if he'd just been submerged under water. He glanced across at River and she smiled almost shyly and he knew she'd just seen what he'd seen, felt what he'd felt.

"Fine. You are free to go." The Dentan muttered grumpily as he stormed off.

"Was that… When does…Did we…" The Doctor gasped as he stared at her. "Are you _proposing_ to me River Song?" Amy and Rory laughed as they watched.

"It looks that way doesn't it?" River smiled as she walked over to him- her mind still full of memories of that day. "So wha.t do you say, will you marry me?"

"Doesn't look like I have much choice, seeing as I've just seen it happen." He grinned as he kissed her lightly on the forehead and put his arms around. He was finding it hard to think, he couldn't believe that he really got to be with her, to marry her. He'd always had a suspicion but he'd never let himself truly believe it. It had always seemed too good to be true. "I always thought I'd be the one to ask though."

"Oh you do. Don't worry." She laughed as she pulled his face down to meet hers and kissed him deeply, her smiled still etched on her face. "Best of both worlds. One of your ideas I'm sure."

"I knew it!" Amy shouted, apparently unable to contain herself any longer, and they jumped apart. They'd completely forgotten they had an audience. "I knew you were his wife!" She shouted jubilantly. "I so better be maid of honour!"

**Please review & make me go "oooh yay!" :)**


	52. Tangled

Not One For The Diary. 

Memory Fifty-Two: Tangled. 

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, I merely play with it. **

_**Author's Note: Hello Sweeties, sorry that daily updates seem to be a thing of the past due to working too much & being busy meeting Alex Kingston ;) but I shall still be updating as much as possible so fear not. A huge great big sloppy kiss for all of you who review and anyone who's waded through all of these parts. It's so brilliant of you, I loves you. This one is a reasonably mid-time fic. Suggestions still gladly received and any you've given are being worked though when my muse feels like it :D so enjoy… **_

"I cannot believe you've done this!" River muttered hysterically as she pulled herself away from the Doctor but grimaced quickly at the pain she felt and moved her head back to its original position.

"I'm sorry!" the Doctor whined quickly as he saw the look of contempt cross his beautiful wife's face. "I didn't think this-"

"You just don't think at all. That's your problem." River muttered darkly as she stared up at him and began to tug at his hand that was lodged in her hair but each pull just caused them both more pain.

"I do think. I think an awful lot about everything." He pouted slightly, offended by her suggestion.

"This is true. But you have no… No common sense. Not a single jot." River muttered as she rolled her eyes.

"Well who would want common sense?" He replied quickly. "That would make me common. And I'm not common, I'm one-of-a-kind, last of the-"

"Yes, yes. I know." River sighed. "But it would be useful in preventing things like this from happening."

"It was an accident. Don't be mad River, my arm's really starting to hurt now." He pouted as he tried to move his arm into a more comfortable position.

"No sympathy. Not one tiny bit of sympathy for you hurting arm. This is all your fault." River said as she massaged her scalp gently.

"How was I supposed to know this would happen?" He asked quietly.

"How were you supposed to know that not wiping the glue from your hands after messing with the TARDIS and then putting them into my hair would result in your hand getting stuck in my hair?" River asked angrily. "Oh I don't know. Possibly because that's something a _child_ could have worked out let alone the supposed most intelligent being in the cosmos."

"I am sorry River." The Doctor whispered quietly and River felt herself smile, despite herself. She could never resist those puppy-dog eyes he did so well.

"If we ever get free from this you're not playing with my hair, ever again!" She announced as she once again tried to free herself from his hands that were entangled in her curls.

"Oh but… Not ever?" He pouted and she grinned. He loved playing with her hair, especially when he was tired or stressed. And usually she loved the feeling of him pulling her close to him and twisting her hair around his fingers as if she were his own personal worry doll. Usually she liked the feeling of closeness that came from it but this… This was a bit too close.

"Not ever. Well not unless you manage to think of a way out of this that does not involve cutting half my hair out. If that brilliant brain of yours can come up with something then I _might_ reconsider. But you will need to do a significant amount of grovelling." River laughed, her anger at her impossible man slowly ebbing away.

"Oh good. Because it is my favourite thing to do with you ever." River grinned and waited for his brain to realise what he'd said. "I mean, not my _favourite_ because obviously that would be what we do when we're alone and with less clothes on but I just mean that I very much like it, especially when I'm worried because it makes me feel very non-worried and happy and-"

"It's okay, I know what you mean." River grinned and pulled him across so his face was level with hers and kissed him, his hand still entwined in her hair and his arm sticking up at a rather odd angle as he kissed her back happily.

"So you don't hate me?" He grinned as they broke apart.

"I could never hate you, I love you too much." River smiled as she stroked his face absentmindedly.

"Doesn't stop you saying it all the time." The Doctor grumbled.

"Do I?" River asked, perplexed. "Well I'm sure you'll deserve it, at the time. Does that mean you do things even more idiotic and annoying than this?" River asked worriedly.

"Well…. Come on now, let's get ourselves untangled." He said quickly to avoid the question as he began pulling them towards the kitchen. "I'm sure I've got some peanut butter somewhere. They use that to get glue off hair, don't they?"

"I'm pretty sure that's to get out chewing gum, sweetie." River said as she bit on her lip and tried not to laugh.

"Glue, chewing gum- pretty much the same right?" The Doctor shrugged.

"Oh Doctor." River laughed. "How did you survive without me?"

"I honestly don't know." He said quietly as he smiled down at her and moved his entangled hand slightly in her hair, enjoying the sensation under his fingers. He quite liked being stuck to her, he thought, but maybe now was not the best time to mention that.

**Reviews make me a happy Hannah.**


	53. Presentation

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fifty-Three: Presentation 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Doctor Who or any historical events mentioned.

_**Author's Note: Well, hello sweeties. Here is another little partlet for you. It's with River at university, I imagine her being about 25 here (in my head she took a few gap years but that's a whole different story) because I have missed younger River. As ever a big thank you for the reviews :D That's about it, enjoy…**_

River glanced about the room nervously. She never got nervous usually but standing in front of a room of very important, very prestigious and very humourless archaeologists who had the power to refuse her application for her master's degree based solely on this presentation of her dissertation was something that could case anyone to have butterflies in their stomach. Quickly she fiddled with her copious amounts of notes and took a deep breath. She could do this, after all the things she'd done this was nothing. Her eyes scanned the room once again looking for the one man who could put her at ease in this strange situation. Give her a gun and something to shoot, giver her a dangerous planet to explore and she'd think nothing of it but ask her to speak eloquently to a group of people scrutinizing her every move and she was a bundle of nerves. So she looked for him in the hope he would ease her fears but, of course, he wasn't there. That man would be late for his own funeral.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen." River said, breathing deeply and trying to control her nerves. "Today I shall be presenting my dissertation and expanding on the surrounding topic of the evolution of the weapons used in late twenty-first century earth and the effects that this had on the society as a whole. Please feel free to make notes and all questions-"

"Excuse me please!" River looked up quickly as she heard an all too-familiar voice ring out across the silent auditorium and looked up to see the Doctor forcing everyone to stand up as he walked in front of them to an empty seat right in the middle of the room. "Sorry, excuse me, running a tiny bit late, yes, sorry, friend of the speaker coming through." He muttered and River bit down hard on her lip to suppress her grin that was threatening to consume her face. She watched as he planted himself on his desired seat and looked up at her, grinning and giving her the thumbs up, completely oblivious to the hostile looks he was receiving from all sides. River shook her head slightly as she smiled. Only the Doctor could do that.

"As I was saying," River continued with a small smile. "All questions will be answered at the end of the presentation. Now, if everyone's ready- I'll begin." She smiled around the room but then her eyes came to rest on the man in the very centre and she felt her nerves disappear. She looked into his old eyes and suddenly it was like she was just talking to him, like they were lying in bed together and she was telling him all her ideas and her plans for the future. The words flowed easily as she told him about her research, her expeditions and her findings, the many conclusions she'd drawn. She found herself talking excitedly about her plans for the future, for all the things she wanted to explore if she was given further opportunities to study. All the time she was looking at him and he was watching her, head tilted to one side slightly and with a small smile lighting up his face, with so much love shining out of his eyes. He was constantly amazed by how intelligent she was, how she could make statements that made even him think twice about what he thought he knew about the universe. He nodded as he absorbed every word of her speech while around him the men scrawled notes as fast as they could, trying to remember the exact words she spoke.

"So, in conclusion, if you grant me the honour of continuing my studies with you I feel confident that I would bring not only prestige but a great deal of success to this course and the university as a whole." She said confidently as she grinned at the assembled group. "Does anyone have any questions?" She glanced around once again and saw the Doctor's hand fly into the air instantly while everyone else remained stationary. She groaned inwardly, hoping that he wasn't going to ask her a ridiculously complex question that undermined her entire findings. Like he usually tried to do.

"Yes, Sir?" She asked with a firmness in her voice that wasn't present earlier.

"Well firstly I would just like to congratulate you on your fantastic presentation and say that any university would be lucky to have a post-graduate of your level on-board." He grinned.

"Well, thank you." River smiled gently at him, still slightly worried about what the 'secondly' would entail.

"And then I would just like to say that I think you are amazingly beautiful, talented and intelligent and I would just like to ask if you would marry me." The Doctor beamed as a small gasp passed around the rest of the room. River merely raised one eyebrow and smiled at him.

"I'm flattered, really I am, but I'm afraid I'm all ready engaged." River smiled as she flashed him a glimmer of a sparkling ring that took pride of place on her finger. "Now are there any other questions?" She glanced around but only a stunned silence filled the room. "Okay then, I will await your decision. Thank you for your time, gentlemen." She announced as she skipped off the stage, her heart fluttering madly.

"Am I even close?" He asked as she rounded the corner and saw him standing against the wall with his arms folded.

"Spoilers, sweetie." River grinned as she ran over to him and kissed him quickly.

"I was sure this would be the right time, the first time. I thought it would be a surprise." He said longingly as he looked down at the ring already on her finger.

"How many times have you asked?" River laughed as she threaded her hands behind his head and leaned against him. She loved the fact that he would carry on asking her until their wedding day, never aware she'd already agreed so many years ago.

"I've lost count River Song. Am I getting close?" He mused as he ran his fingers through her hair gently and she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch.

"Do you really want to know?" She asked, smiling gently. He looked at her, so happy and content in his love. He wanted to see that look of surprise on her face, to have her finally agree wholeheartedly to become his wife but he didn't at the same time because that would mean he could never ask her again, never have her tease him with her knowledge of when it finally did happen.

"Maybe not." He agreed finally.

"See, I thought not." River laughed.

"Has anyone ever told you you're too smart for your own good, Miss Song?" The Doctor said as he rolled his eyes slightly, grinning at her.

"Oh, only every day sweetie." River purred as she pulled him closer to her and together they waited.

**Review? I'm 4 days into my week from hellish shifts at work & it would really help me get through the rest! Fankoo.**


	54. Talk Dirty To Me

Not One For The Dairy

Memory Fifty-four: Talk Dirty To Me. 

**Disclaimer: **I owns it not.

_**Author's Note: Sorry for lack of updateage the past few days guys, life has been rather hectic. Anytime you wanna start paying me for writing so I can quit my horrible job that would be brilliant. Until then I shall accept reviews as a form of payment. Hehe. This is an older River/younger Doctor moment & came from a conversation with Claudia a while ago that has been lurking at the back of my mind for a while. It's a tiny bit "adult" but still within the rating, I think! So enjoy….**_

"Doctor Song?" The guard asked in confusion as he answered the phone. "Well yes, she's here but-"

"Give me the phone." River called as she ran across to the bars, holding her hand out. "You know I'm entitled to phone calls." One day she wouldn't have to keep telling them this.

"I don't know if I…" The guard mumbled as he walked forwards, looking around in alarm.

"It's fine. Just give me the phone." River said sternly as she held out her hand and the guard anxiously placed the phone into it. "Good boy." She grinned as she held the phone to her ear and walked away quickly. "Doctor? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong." He answered in confusion and River rolled her eyes, letting out the breath she'd been holding. "I just… got bored."

"You got bored and called me? Well, I'm flattered." River laughed as she sat back on her bed and threw the guard a look that made him let out an involuntary squeak and scuttle off to give her some more space. "But why are you calling rather than visiting? As much as I enjoy a good chat with you there are much more exciting things we could be doing if you were here in person."

"Well," The Doctor coughed awkwardly and River felt herself smile widely. Early days for him. She was going to have some fun with this. "We had to stop to refuel and the Ponds have gone off exploring and left me strict instructions not to wander off and Amy gave me her phone and showed me this game with a snake but after five minutes I'd completed that and there wasn't really much else to do so I thought I'd call someone and the TARDIS gave me your number." He rambled quickly.

"So what do you want to talk about?" River asked quickly before he could start another long-winded train of thought.

"I don't know really. It's different over the phone. I never thought it would be quite this different. Don't really talk on the phone much." He mused quietly to himself.

"Well where are we for you, what kind of things do we usually talk about?" She asked gently. She wanted to know how much he knew about her, how far along in their relationship they were but she worried if she asked him directly she would only get an answer that hurt her.

"Well, we… urm, we don't really _talk _that much. Not at the moment. I mean we did. There was lots and lots of talking and understand and then kissing but now it's kind of urm… We're busy." He finished lamely and she could practically hear him blush.

"We could do that, if you wanted." River laughed dirtily as she lay back on the bed.

"Do… That? On the phone?" The Doctor sounded almost alarmed. "But how?"

"Phone sex." River smiled as she heard him gasp.

"Phone… What? What's that? Because I don't think Amy would let me do anything like that with her phone." He said quickly.

"No sweetie, it's nothing like that. Just talking dirty. You tell me the things you'd like to be doing and we pretend-"

"But that's private River." The Doctor whispered, shocked. "That's what me and you do together, alone and it's very private."

"And this is you and me alone together, just we're on the phone. It's okay. Look, I'll start." River said patiently. "I wish you were here, kissing me deeply with your hands stroking my-"

"River!" The Doctor gasped. "That's very rude!"

"It's nothing you haven't done to me before." She laughed. "Many, many times. Go on, try it. If I was there, what would we be doing?"

"If you were here you'd be pushing me onto the bed and… Oh I can't do this River, I feel ridiculous!"

"I'd be climbing on top of you, your hands in my hair and pulling you closer to me as I unbuttoned your shirt" She purred.

"River, we really shouldn't do this." He muttered weakly. "Very inappropriate. The phone is really not the place to be talking about this."

"The phone is exactly the place to be talking about this. You have to learn to talk dirty somewhere, my love, and I think you can only do that when you're forced to use words rather than actions. So tell me. What would I be doing to you?" She grinned into the phone as she heard his breath catch.

"Well you'd probably, by this point, have me undressed and be kissing me all over and making my skin feel all tingly and nice and… Oh no, that's the door. The Ponds are back. I better go, Amy will be mad if I'm running up her phone bill. I'll see you soon."

"Right. See you soon." River said sadly as she heard the dial tone. She threw down the phone and sighed heavily, a lot more frustrated than she had been before that conversation. She thought for a second about breaking out to go for a run just to work out the knot that she felt building inside her before she heard a noise that made her face break out into a broad grin. She pulled her feet up onto the bed quickly as the TARDIS materialised so close to her bed that, if it had been a few inches closer, it would have been on her bed.

"River Song!" The Doctor called as he flung open the doors and grinned out at her, extending his one hand to her. "Get your sexy self in here now." She laughed as she grabbed onto his hand and he pulled her in.

"Well hello sweetie." She laughed as she put her arms around him and he kissed her deeply, pushing her against the wall as the doors closed behind them.

"I've decided something." He muttered as he kissed her and let his hands wander under her shirt and brush against her skin gently.

"Oh and what's that?" River grinned.

"Talking's over-rated." The Doctor smiled at her and crushed her lips with his before she could reply.

**Reviews are my bestsest friends. **


	55. Fun Fair

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fifty-five: Fun Fair.

**Disclaimer:** Really still not mine. None of it.

_**Author's Note: well here we go again kiddies :D I am so chuffed so many of you are still reviewing this it makes me so so happy, and I thank you muchly. This is an idea from aidenpond that I have run away with & tis a midtimey fic. Enjoy**…_

"So where shall we go?" River asked happily as she strolled around the TARDIS console leisurely, stroking it gently as she did.

"I don't know. Anywhere. Nowhere. I don't care really." The Doctor sighed as he lent against the wall and gazed wistfully into the space somewhere above his wife's head.

"What's wrong with you today sweetie?" River asked with concern in her voice. "This isn't like you at all."

"I'm just having an off day." He breathed deeply, closing his eyes as he did. "Today I am Mr Grumpy face, as Amy would put it."

"And what's caused this case of the grumpies?" River asked as she walked up to him, looking him up and down as if seeing him for the first time. Her Doctor, usually so full of wonder and excitement looked thoroughly depressed for once.

"Thinking. All those things I've done, everything I've seen… Sometimes, not often but sometimes, it becomes too much. It's like I don't have enough space in my head for all the sadness." He half-smiled, his eyes looking more ancient than ever.

"Do you want me to distract you?" River asked as she put her arms around him and looked deep into his eyes, her voice free from innuendo for once.

"Oh yes please." He grinned as he kissed her quickly on the forehead and she let out a short laugh before retreating to the controls.

"Right you are then. Close your eyes!" River instructed firmly as she began to input coordinates and pilot the TARDIS towards her intended destination. "Are they shut? You're not peeking are you?" She called as she glanced around the console at him.

"Would I do that, River Song?" The Doctor asked innocently as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly.

"Yes you would, Doctor." River laughed loudly as she pushed a few final buttons and the TARDIS came to a halt. "There we go, landed her. Now keep your eyes close and give me your hand." River smiled as she led the Doctor forward and through the TARDIS doors. "Now you have to guess where you are."

"Right, let me see…" The Doctor began slowly. He kept his eyes closed to paly along with River's game and instead inhaled deeply, trying to decipher his surroundings. "I can smell sugar and mud and hear laughter and screams… are we at a fun fair?" He asked excitedly as he rocked onto the balls of his feet slightly.

"You always get it first try." River said, pouting slightly, disappointed that her surprise had been so short lived. "Open your eyes. Yes, it's a fun fair. My favourite fun fair in all the universe I'll have you know. You brought me here once when I was a young girl and I was feeling down. You took me on all the rides and-"

"Shh now." The Doctor said softly as he pushed a finger to her lips. "Spoilers, my love." She smiled slightly and nodded.

"So what would you like to do?" She grinned gesturing around at the chaos that surrounded them.

"Well we'll have to go on the dodgems, of course, and the waltzers and eat toffee apples and candyfloss and go in the house of mirrors, I always love those. Then there's the ghost train, they're such great fun. The only question is which do we do first?" He grinned, his eyes shining with wonder as he watched the children run around them, laughing and screaming.

"Oh I love you." River laughed as she pulled his face to hers and kissed him roughly. "You crazy, brilliant man. I love you so much. How do you manage it?"

"Manage what? How to choose what to do first?" The Doctor asked as he furrowed his brow. "Well it is rather complicated and-"

"No, not that!" River laughed as she hit his arm lightly. "How do you manage to retain your childlike wonder at the universe when you've seen so much? I can't. I try but I can't. Not after all the death, the destruction and the sadness that I've seen and that must be about a millionth of what you've seen."

"Well…" The Doctor thought for a moment. "I surround myself with good people, good friends. And then I have you. It's hard to not see how wonderful everything is once again when I'm stood here looking at you. Especially when you've brought me to a fun fair!"

"You're amazing." River said in awe as she lent in to kiss him softly. "Now what do you say, toffee apple then dodgems?" She grinned as she grabbed his hand.

"Sounds like a plan to me." He laughed softly as they made their way through the bustling crowd towards the toffee apple stall.

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	56. Your Firsts Are My Firsts

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fity-Six: Your Firsts Are My Firsts

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but these words I put together.

_**Author's Note: Well it's time for another big thank you to everyone who's favourite, reviewed or alerted this story. You guys make my entire life. As much as I love writing this writing it for wonderful people just makes it even better :D This is an early River/late Doctor & comes from a prompt from mogranismusic. Enjoy…**_

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" The Doctor asked nervously as he pulled River away from his neck where she'd been kissing him enthusiastically and making it nearly impossible for him to carry on a conversation.

"I've been ready for years, sweetie." She laughed throatily and he swallowed hard. It was so difficult to think clearly when River was being all Riverish. He had to force himself to resist her constantly and it was thoroughly exhausting. "You're the one who keeps putting it off. So are you sure _you're_ ready for this?"

"I've done this before River." He said huffily as she ran her hands through his hair. "Many many times. You're the one who hasn't."

"Many many times, huh?" River grinned, kissing him softly. "That sounds promising."

"You're just so young and this is such a big step, are you sure you're ready?" He asked quickly as he went to kiss her again but she pulled away quickly and crossed her arms, her expression changing in an instant. "What, what have I said River?" He asked nervously.

"Nothing. It's fine." She snapped as she turned and sat heavily on the bed. "You don't have to force yourself to sleep with me when you clearly don't want to. You can just say it, that you don't want me."

"What?" The Doctor gasped as he sat beside her but she shifted quickly as he tried to put his arm around her. "I never said that, I don't even think that. I don't think that at all, not one tiny bit. I love you River and I _want _you. Trust me." He tried a smile but received an angry stare in response.

"You love me and you want me, I know. But not this me. Not yet. I'm not the woman you fell in love with, I know that." She sighed sadly as she looked down at her feet.

"You are. You're the same woman you've always been and you always will be. I couldn't love you any more if I tried, no matter when or where we are. It's almost impossible to explain, one of those things you'll have to live to understand. And I know you do understand one day. I'm sorry, this isn't as romantic as I wanted it to be." He grinned as he gestured around the room where he'd laid out candles and rose petals clumsily in an attempt to make it so special for her.

"Well, we couldn't do it conventionally, could we?" She grinned as she pulled herself onto his lap, her voice still thick with emotion. "Not even the first time."

"Well I suppose it would be rather boring." He grinned as she lent down to kiss him, her hair falling across his face as he groaned slightly into her mouth and felt her smile in response.

"Do you ever get used to this, do you? Your firsts being my lasts. How can you cope?" She stroked his face gently and gazed deep into his eyes, trying to decipher the secrets that lay there.

"It's not always that simple. Sometimes your firsts are my first, too." He grinned cheekily as his hands began to wander up her body.

"Explain." River laughed gently.

"Close your eyes." He instructed her. She raised an eyebrow sceptically for a second before complying. "Can you feel it yet? You have to really concentrate."

"I don't know what I'm concentrating on!" River sighed impatiently.

"Me. Focus on me River." He said quietly as he twisted his fingers in her curls. "Can you sense it?"

"I think so. It's like… You?" She gasped in shock. "Are you in my head?"

"Yes and no and then a bit of maybe." He grinned as her eyes flew open. "It's a psychic link, it's stronger for me because I've had more time to develop it but it's there in you, always. It's always there in both of us. So I feel what you feel, and I experience everything you do." He kissed her slowly, letting this knowledge sink in. She trembled slightly beneath him. "It's okay to be nervous you know."

"Are you?" She asked shyly.

"Oh every single time. That's the power you have over me, River." He laughed as he felt her relax in his arms. They kissed once more and she pulled him backwards until he was on top of her.

"Will you make love to me?" She whispered into his ear and he shivered. "For our first time?"

"Always." He smiled and he felt her nerves, felt her excitement and her love flow through him. Her first time felt like his and he suddenly didn't know where she stopped and he began and all he knew was it didn't have to be sad, it didn't have to feel like an ending. For one of them it was always just beginning. First, lasts, they were just words. This was forever.

**Review? Oh well now you've mentioned it that would be very nice. Thanks.**


	57. Domestic Bliss

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fifty-Seven: Domestic Bliss

**Disclaimer:** The usual stuff, it's not mine & I'm not pretending it is.

_**Author's Note: Here we go again boys & girls. This is a mid-time fic & sprang from an idea given to me by Emma. That's about it! Enjoy…**_

"Sweetie," River called through gritted teeth as she sighed heavily and the Doctor felt himself shudder slightly. When she spoke like that, with that painful inclination on his usual nickname, it never resulted in a conversation he enjoyed.

"Yes River, my love?" He asked sweetly as he walked up to where she stood with her hands on her hips looking thoroughly annoyed. "What can I do for you?"

"Do you, just out of curiosity, ever listen to a single word I say?" River asked huffily, her eyes narrowing dangerously as she did.

"Urm… Yes?" He stuttered hesitantly feeling there was a trick to this question somewhere. There usually was.

"So can you tell me what we spoke about, at length, last week?" She questioned stonily as one foot began to tap in annoyance.

"Well yes, of course, that would be the urm… The thing. There was a thing which we urm…" The Doctor rambled as he screwed his face up in concentration. They spoke about a lot of things, how did she expect him to remember every single one?

"Here's a clue: we made a rota. A nice brightly-coloured rota that even an id- even _you_ could follow. Remember?" She asked sharply.

"Oh the rota! Yes that was fun to colour!" He grinned.

"Yes, and what was it for?" River prompted him with the air of someone trying to explain something to a three-year-old.

"The rota for the urm… cleaning! Yes, that was it. For cleaning the TARDIS." He said excitedly, clearly very pleased with himself for finally remembering.

"Yes it was dear." River continued slowly. "And who's job, according to the lovely colour co-ordinated rota you insisted we spend two hours making, was it to clean the bathroom today?"

"Mine?" The Doctor asked tentatively, having a horrible feeling he already knew the answer.

"That's right. So could you please explain to me why it's still not been done even through today's nearly over?" She said as she raised one eyebrow and he fiddled nervously with his bowtie.

"Well I've been very busy, you see, with all the TARDIS repairs and having to go to ancient Greece to solve that problem with the-" He began but River cut him off, tutting loudly.

"Don't even try that one with me. You're not the only one who has important whole-civilization-saving things to do and you know it, yet somehow I manage to keep up my end of the housework. Why do you think that is? And don't you dare say it's because I'm female." She muttered dangerously.

"I wouldn't dream of it!" The Doctor answered quickly. "But really I don't see why I have to do any of this cleaning stuff anyway. The TARDIS always managed it on her own before." He added sulkily.

"Yes but its very unfair on her to have to constantly clean up your mess and it's a huge drain on her resources." River countered quickly.

"No more so than the sauna you made her create." He mumbled quietly.

"Hey, that's a very useful room thank you very much! And stop trying to think up some clever way to get out of your chores." River smirked slightly as he looked crestfallen at her words.

"I can't help thinking up clever things. I was born clever- it just comes naturally to me." He muttered, still sulking. River rolled her eyes and tried to fight the smile that she felt creeping onto her face. Why did he have to be so cute when she was trying to be cross at him?

"Now, now, nobody likes a smart-arse dear." She laughed lightly.

"Well you clearly do." He said, risking a cheeky grin at her. "Otherwise you wouldn't have married me. Although I'm not sure how intelligent my urm… _arse_ is, but I suppose its part of me so it must be reasonably-"

"Oh shut up." River laughed as she stepped forward, closing the gap between them. "Now say you'll clean the bathroom so I can stop being mad at you."

"I'll clean the bathroom." He agreed quickly.

"Good." River grinned as she lent in to kiss him. "Now come with me." She whispered as she grabbed his hand and pulled him down the corridor.

"But the bathroom's that way." The Doctor said as he looked behind them in confusion.

"I know. We're just taking a minor detour via the bedroom." She smirked.

"Oh?" He questioned, his brow furrowed.

"I think the cleaning can wait an hour or so more. After all we do need to make up properly." River said seductively as she lent against the bedroom door.

"_Oh._ Right." He smiled at her. "We do. Big fight like that. Lots of making up to do."

"Lots and lots." She laughed lightly as he pulled her close and kissed her deeply. Sometimes he thought she just picked these fights for this reason. And if that was the case he really didn't mind the arguments. Or cleaning the bathroom for that matter.

**River says review or you have to do all the chores. True fact.**


	58. Pillow Talk

Not One For The Diary 

Memory Fifty-Eight: Pillow Talk

**Disclaimer:** I own nada. You know this.

_**Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while, working 60 hours a weeks leaves little time for anything much apart from sleep unfortunately. This is a reasonably early Doctor & later River & this part is dedicated to Gingerbritishgypsyelf, hope this helps your withdrawal symptoms! Enjoy the chapter everyone :D…**_

"River, honestly, I don't know who taught you to fly the TARDIS but they did it all wrong." The Doctor muttered as he followed River quickly pushing back any lever she pressed a second after she pressed it. River rolled her eyes and continued on regardless. "If it wasn't for me helping you I don't think we'd get anywhere."

"Oh I hate you." River grinned as she twirled around him elegantly, pushing back the controls into their original positions without him noticing as he was fascinated by movements instead.

"No you don't." He laughed as he grabbed her wrists and pushed her back against the console to stop her doing any more damage.

"Oh, yes I do." River laughed as she leant forward to kiss him but he pulled back quickly, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh no you don't, you…" He looked away uncomfortably as River laughed.

"I what?" She grinned, enjoying teasing him.

"Well you, I mean I think you, it's always seemed like you-" The Doctor stammered.

"Oh can you two please put each other down." Rory announced as he walked into the room and the Doctor jumped backwards guiltily leaving River leaning against the console laughing deeply. "Just for a minute. We have a planet to explore out there, I'm sure _that_ can wait till later." He folded his arms and the Doctor grinned apologetically.

"We'll talk about this later, Doctor Song." He muttered as he walked past.

"Can't wait sweetie." She grinned as she skipped ahead, patting his bum lightly as she passed and making him jump a mile.

XoxoxoX

"So. Talking. Me and You." The Doctor announced as he jumped onto the bed where River lay under the covers, groaning slightly as she put down the book she'd been attempting to read.

"You get into my bed to talk? I'm disappointed, and a tiny bit hurt. Maybe I should start wearing less clothes to bed." She mused and the Doctor gulped as he glanced down at what little of her nightdress was showing. It looked very silky and he doubted it counted as 'a lot of clothes' by anyone's standards.

"No. Well not no to the less clothes, less clothes is fine, it's great even I just mean no to me not wanting to… I mean me wanting to talk isn't because I don't want to-" The babbled nervously

"Sweetie, please stop. This is painful to listen to- even for you." She grinned as she reached out to stroke his face gently. "I was only joking. It's fine. What do you want to talk about?"

"Well I said earlier that we'd have to talk about it later. And now it's later." He said, confused at her lack of memory.

"Oh really?" She groaned. "You always say that but then you get distracted and forget. I thought this would be one of those times. But apparently not, and that's fine, let's talk about it."

"So do you hate me?" The Doctor asked bluntly.

"Of course I don't hate you sweetie, not really." River laughed lightly and the Doctor grinned.

"So do you… like me?" He asked nervously as he bit his lip. He wasn't good at this, all these emotions and signals and _feelings._ He didn't really know how to react to any of it.

"Of course I like you. I really like you." She whispered seductively as she edged slightly closer to him. "Why would you think I didn't?"

"Well…" He thought for a moment. "We fight a lot. And you always say you hate me."

"We only fight because we're both far too clever and never believe we're wrong." River laughed and the Doctor felt a rush of affection towards her and reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear. She was right, they were just _too_ similar to not bicker. And he kind of liked that about them.

"But you say you hate me still." The Doctor pouted.

"But you know I don't." She smirked.

"I know but, do you think you could stop saying it?" He asked hopefully.

"I don't think so sweetie." River shook her head. "That might be a bit too much to ask. But if it makes you feel better you can know that when I say I hate you I really… _like _you." She smiled slightly as he eyes flitted across his face, trying to judge his reaction.

"You can say it, you know." He muttered quietly as his eyes never met hers but instead focused on her hair that he was twiddling nervously between his fingers.

"You sure? It won't freak you out?" River asked quietly and he shook his head, a small smile creeping across his face. "Okay, well then you can remember that whenever I say I hate you that I really love you. That I love you very much and always will, even when I say I hate you." She whispered the words quietly as his eyes finally met hers. "Is that okay?"

"Very okay." He grinned nervously as he lent forwards and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "And in that case I think I should tell you that I… I hate you too."

**Reviews make me want to drink extra coffee and write when I should be sleeping, just fyi :p**


	59. Happy Birthday

Not One For The Diary

Memory Fifty-Nine: Happy Birthday. 

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but play about with it frequently.

**_Author's Note: Firstly I need to thank everyone who has reviewed my last chapter, it's really very wonderful of you all! Makes me happy happy happy. This next instalment is a nearly mid-time fic but the Doctor is the "younger" one in the relationship as it were & it was inspired by a conversation between _mybrightidea _and _Cloister_Belle _& although it's one of the more "adult" ones in here I'm sure it's nowhere near as smutty as they would like, so apologies ladies! But it's all my poorly brain can come up with hehe. Enjoy…_**

"Well you must have one, and you might as well tell me because you know I'll get it out of you one way or another." River laughed as she cornered the Doctor. He sighed and shook his head, wishing he'd never brought the subject up.

"Well technically I suppose I do but I stopped celebrating it a long time ago, don't even remember the date." The Doctor shrugged as he tried to move out of River's gaze but she put a hand on each side of him, penning him in.

"You don't remember when your own birthday is?" River asked sceptically. "You, the world's biggest child, don't remember a day when you get presents and cake? Why do I find this hard to believe?"

"I did, for a long time." He laughed. "But it got hard to keep track of with all the time-travel and whatnot. Plus, as much as I like presents, there's nothing I want or really need any more."

"Is that a challenge?" River grinned slyly as she cocked one eyebrow.

"Is anything ever **not **a challenge with you River Song?" The Doctor grinned at her.

"Occasionally. But not today. So if I find a present you really want-" She began.

"I still won't know when my birthday is. I told you I've forgotten." He rolled his eyes at the stubbornness of his wonderful woman.

"Yes, I know that." River sighed. "I do wish you'd let me finish. I was going to say that if I can find something you really want then today can be your birthday from now on, deal?"

"River I don't think-" He stammered.

"Do we have a deal, Doctor?" River asked forcefully and he swallowed slightly as he saw that familiar flash in her eyes. You didn't mess with River when she had that look in her eyes.

"Fine, fine, deal. But there's nothing you can find that I want, I'm telling you. I'm a very contented creature, there's really _nothing_ I want." He said smugly.

"Oh I wouldn't bet on that if I was you, my love. I know you too well, remember?" She laughed as she lent in and kissed him gently. "Give me five minutes and I'll have something that will change your mind."

"Promises, promises." He muttered as he pulled her closer and kissed her again, trying to distract her.

"Down boy." River laughed as she slapped away his roaming hands. "Five minutes and then come find me."

"Fine." The Doctor pouted as he let his hands drop to his sides and watched River skip off with a quick glance back at him. He folded his arms and let his one foot tap impatiently. He hated waiting. Maybe it would have been better just to have made up a date for a birthday so he didn't have to go through all this. He knew that River wouldn't rest until she'd proved him wrong, she never did.

XoxoxoX

"River?" The Doctor called as he wandered down the TARDIS corridors. "River where are you? It's been five minutes."

"It's been four and a half but never mind." River laughed from the bedroom. "Come in."

"Have you got my present?" He asked, trying to hide the excitement in his voice. The more he'd thought about the idea the more exciting it got wondering what she would have found for him.

"I have. Come in and see." River smiled as the Doctor pushed the door open and froze in the doorway trying to take in the sight that greeted his eyes. River stood in front of him, completely naked apart from some ridiculously high heels and…

"Is that my top hat?" The Doctor gasped and River nodded slightly, biting her lip. "And my bowtie?" He asked as he stepped closer to her, finally regaining the power over his legs as she nodded again. "And is this my birthday present?" He whispered as he came face-to-face with her.

"Well now that depends, have I found something you want?" She laughed as she put her arms around his neck and he sighed contentedly as his one hand ran up and down her body while the other ran around the edge of the rim of the hat that sat on top of her wonderful hair and he buried his face into her neck where his teeth bit gently at the material of the bowtie.

"Want? Mmm, yes. Want very much." He muttered incoherently as he began to kiss at every bit of her body he could find.

"Enough to agree to having birthdays again?" She grinned as she pulled his face up to meet hers at an attempt at normal conversation while his hands drew patterns on her skin that made her tremble.

"Do I get presents like this every birthday?" He whispered wickedly as he looked her up and down and licked his lips sensually.

"Oh definitely." River grinned and the Doctor laughed happily, grabbing hold of her bowtie and pulling her backwards onto the bed.

"Well in the case I would like it to be my birthday every day. Once a year simply doesn't seem enough." He announced as he grabbed on to her hat, making sure it stayed securely on her head as she fell on top of him.

"Now don't get greedy dear." She scolded him lightly as she sat up, straddling him, her hands pushing him down into the bed.

"But I've just found the present I really want." He pouted. "And I have years of Birthdays I've missed out on."

"One at a time. You've still got this present to enjoy first." River winked as she bent down to kiss him. "Happy birthday Doctor."

**Please review & leave any feedback, thoughts or prompts you may have :) thankee.**


	60. Dancing In The Rain

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty: Dancing In The Rain

**Disclaimer:** The usual stuff. I own merely the words I string together.

_**Author's Note: So this is the sixtieth part! How crazy. And to think that I started this one night when I should have been writing my university work so many months ago. Thank you all for sticking with me & this story, it means a lot to me. Anyways, mushy stuff over. This is a reasonably early River. I imagine her being in her early 20s here. Enjoy…**_

"Sweetie it appears to be… raining." River said in a shocked voice as she opened the doors of the TARDIS and looked out at the dull grey scene that greeted her.

"Yes, River, it does that occasionally. Especially in London." The Doctor grinned as he walked up behind her and put his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder as he did.

"I know that!" River laughed as she leant back into his touch. "But I figured, you know, with a time machine and everything, that you'd be able to avoid the rainy days."

'Well I can, if you really want. I mean we can come back a different day." The Doctor said in a slightly hurt voice.

"No it's fine!" River said quickly as she turned to face him. "Rain is fine. Unexpected but fine." She kissed him lightly and his usual grin returned.

"I have an umbrella somewhere here if you want me to find it." He announced as he launched himself back into the depths of the TARDIS.

"No it's fine!" River called as soon as she saw him dash away. "Honestly. It's only a bit of rain. I'll be fine." She smiled. She'd seen how long it took him to try to locate something from some unknown place in the TARDIS and she wasn't sure she had that kind of time to spare.

"Well let's go out in the rain then, Miss River Song!" The Doctor laughed as he ran back towards River and grabbed her hand and pulled her outside as the doors snapped behind them.

"Oh it's so… Look at it!" River laughed as she gazed around in wonder. "It's like being in a musical. Victorian London in the rain, I love it!" She spun around with her hands outstretched as the Doctor watched her, smiling.

"Look at you!" The Doctor grinned as they span around each other, splashing in the puddles and kicking water at one another. "You're so very young. So, so young…"

"I am not." River said as she folded her arms and pouted in a mock sulk. "In fact I'm older than I've ever been, I'm pretty sure."

"And yet you're still so young." He smiled almost sadly as he caught her arms and pulled her close to him.

"Oh God does this mean I get boring and middle-aged and don't get excited and dance in the rain?" River wrinkled her nose at the thought.

"Boring? You? I don't think you could ever be boring, not even if you tried. And I don't know exactly what middle aged means but I don't think you're ever that either." He laughed as he kissed her lightly on the top of her head, rain running down his nose and dripping onto her as he did.

"So you're telling me I just never dance in the rain again?" She sighed. "Well I suppose I can deal with that."

"No! That's not what I'm saying." The Doctor blundered in quickly. "You might, I don't know. Not with me though."

"Well maybe I'll take you. Maybe I'll fly you away one day and we can dance all night long. Time can be re-written after all, or so you always tell me." She grinned as she pulled away and spun around again, her skirt fanning out around her as she did. The Doctor just stood and watched, he felt his hearts constrict and his feet suddenly felt glued to the spot. "You coming to…" River trailed off mid-sentence as she stopped and looked at him intently. "Sweetie, are you crying?" She asked quietly.

"No." He replied quickly as he stepped backwards, away from the woman advancing towards him.

"Doctor you're crying." River said quietly as she reached out to touch his face.

"No, it's just raining. There's rain on my face. That's all." The Doctor mumbled as he looked away.

"Doctor, sweetie… What's wrong?" River asked as she closed the small gap left between them so their chests touched.

"I just… I just wish we had more time." He whispered as he rested his forehead against hers and suddenly realised he was shaking. Whether it was from the fact he was soaked to the skin or the admission he'd just let slip he wasn't sure. He was supposed to be the one who knew it all, the one in control and here he was crying in the rain. That was just brilliant, he sighed angrily.

"A man with a time machine is telling me there's not enough time." River said as she raised one eyebrow and looked him squarely in the eyes. "You do realise that's probably the dictionary definition of irony, right?" The Doctor let out a weak chuckle as he stroked her sopping wet hair.

"I know, but there should be more for us. More of this. Everything goes so fast and I know one day it'll just be gone. And that's not fair." He bit his lip slightly, knowing how childish he sounded.

"It's completely fair. Everything must end, nothing can last forever." River smiled sadly.

"Well it doesn't feel it. I don't want you to go." He said, very quietly, so quietly his words were almost lost in the sound of the rain.

"I'm not going anywhere, not yet anyway." She sighed heavily, seeing her words were having little to no impact on him. "Just because something has to end it doesn't make it any less special while it's happening. We'll always have it, this thing that we have, no matter when or where we are. Together or apart. Don't let the ending spoil the rest of the story, sweetie." She grinned as she kissed him gently, her hands on his face brushing away the last of his tears.

"You're so smart. So young and so smart. How did it happen that you're always smarter than me?" The Doctor laughed as she shrugged.

"Well running around with you all my life, all of the things I've seen. I guess you've rubbed off on me. I'm becoming more and more like you all the time- maybe that's why you love me so much." She grinned and nudged him gently as he opened his mouth to protest. "Oh God, that doesn't mean I start wearing strange headwear one day does it?" River gasped in alarm.

"I can promise you, you never _ever_ accept that I have a good taste in hats and you certainly show no desire to continue the fashion yourself. Even though it's cool." He laughed loudly at the look of relief that flooded her face.

"Well that's something. Now come on Doctor, tell me, shall we dance?" She smiled as she held out her hand to him.

"Yes, River Song, I think we shall." The Doctor nodded as he placed his hand in hers and together they waltzed down the street. Inside the houses that lined the street the inhabitants looked out curiously at the strange man and woman who laughed and danced in the rain as if they were the only two people on earth.

**Review? You know you want to. **


	61. He Never Learns

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty-One: He Never Learns

**Disclaimer:** None of these characters belong to me in the slightest. Maybe one day.

_**Author's Note: Hello sweeties, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed the past chapter- you are amazing in every way. This chapter is an earlyish Doctor & later River piece & it comes from a prompt from the lovely Claudia. Enjoy…**_

"Hello little fella." The Doctor cooed as he bent down to look closely at the three-legged floppy-eared creature that had just lopped up to them. It looked like a rabbit gone wrong, with blue and yellow fur that stuck up oddly and a tail that looked like it should belong to a different creature entirely. "How're you doing today?"

"Don't touch it!" River called out as she grabbed his outstretched hand a few centimetres before it touched the creature.

"Why not? He's not dangerous. You're not dangerous are you little one?" He asked kindly as he beamed down at the little creature that looked up at him with confused eyes and scratched behind one of its ears, balancing precariously on its remaining two legs.

"Not dangerous to anyone else, no, but you are very allergic to them my love." River said patiently without releasing her grip on his arm.

"Allergic?" The Doctor laughed as he straightened up quickly. "Don't be so silly. I'm a Time Lord we're not allergic to anything. That's such a very human thing."

"Trust me, I know. You are extremely allergic to these little ones." River sighed as she looked at him sternly.

"I can't be. You must be confusing me with someone else." The Doctor frowned.

"Oh yes that's right, I forgot. It's the _other_ last-of-the-Time-Lords who I travel with who's allergic to them." River rolled her eyes.

"Really? There's another one?" the Doctor squeaked.

"No dear, that was sarcasm." River sighed heavily as she finally released his arm and he rubbed the spot she'd been holding, pouting slightly.

"Oh right. But can't we take him back with us?" He asked pleadingly as he looked from the little forlorn creature to River and back again.

"No." She said simply.

"But he looks so sad and he'd love it in the TARDIS and-"

"No." She repeated crossly, folding her arms as she did.

"Not even for a little bit, just for one trip, please River?" The Doctor whined as he batted his eyelashes at her.

"Doctor, I said no!" River almost shouted in frustration.

"God, you're not my mother." He muttered sulkily.

"I should hope not. Otherwise we've done some very bad things." River winked and the Doctor blushed. "Now let's get back in the TARDIS before you start taking home every stray animal you find. Come along Doctor…" River laughed as she sauntered back to where the TARDIS was parked leaving the Doctor to walk grudgingly along behind her.

"_Come along Doctor_" He mimicked quietly as he scuffed the dirt under his feet as he walked, hands trust in pockets and looking more like an overgrown child than ever. "Who does she think she is? Allergic? I'll show her."

XoxoxoxoX

"Sweetie!" River called as she walked around the TARDIS controls leisurely. "Are you going to come out and stop sulking yet?"

"I'm not sulking. I just… Don't want to come out." The Doctor shouted quickly from one of the rooms in the depths of the TARDIS.

"Okay then." River said warily as she gazed at the closed door. He was never still or quiet for this long. In fact this may have been the longest he'd ever stayed in one room without being... _Occupied, _River grinned to herself. "You not coming out at all today then?"

"Urm no I don't think so. I think I'll just stay in here." The Doctor replied in a voice that seemed much higher than usual.

"Fine, you do that then." River grinned as she stroked the control and the TARDIS began to shake violently and make alarming noises. "Oh help Doctor!" River called in an uncharacteristically-girly voice. "I don't know what's happening- I think I pushed the wrong button!"

"River! What have you done to my TARDIS?" The Doctor yelled as he flung the door open and River heard a flurry of footsteps coming towards her.

"Works every time, well done old girl." River mutter quietly as she stepped into the Doctor's path and the TARDIS returned to normal instantly.

"How… What did you just do?" The Doctor asked as he looked about in confusion.

"Never mind me!" River called angrily as she looked him up and down. "Where is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He mumbled quickly as he tried to turn away but River grabbed hold of his face and pulled him back to look at her.

"You are covered in purple spots and your tongue is yellow. Your voice is squeaky and soon you'll lose the ability to speak- not that that will be any great loss." River sighed. "You are having an allergic reaction. Now where is that creature I specifically told you not to bring on board?"

"In the library." The Doctor said quietly as he hung his head. "But I didn't think it would do any harm, I didn't think I was really allergic."

"You never learn." River shook her head as she marched off towards the library, rolling up her sleeves as she went.

"River… Can you fix me?" He asked quietly and she stopped and turned around, smiling at him.

"There's only one antidote." She said simply.

"And what's that?" He asked nervously.

"Apples. You have to eat lots of apples until the symptoms disappear." She laughed loudly at the look of disgust on his face.

"I hate apples. It can't be apples, surely?" He said quickly.

"One day, my love, you will realise that I am right about everything. And then my life will be much simpler. Until then. Sit down and don't touch anything. I'll get you some apples." She rolled her eyes as she turned to walk away again.

"River?" He asked in a small voice as he sat down.

"Yes, sweetie?" She replied as she turned around again, trying to keep the impatience out of her voice.

"I'm… I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." He said as he gazed at the floor.

"It's okay, my love." River smiled as she walked back and dropped a quick kiss onto the top of his hair. "You get used to it after a while."

**Reviews? I love them ever so much.**


	62. HideAndSeek

Not One For The Diary 

Memory Sixty-Two: Hide-And-Seek

**Disclaimer: **I wish I was in possession of either the Doctor or River Song but unfortunately I just have a computer on which I type stories.

_**Author's Note: Another big thank you to everyone who's reviewed this story. If that's you go ahead and give yourself a big hug from me. Do it. Now. Done it? Great, here's the next chapter! This comes from a prompt from someone on le tumblr (I'm really sorry but I forgot who it was! :() and this is where my head decided to take it. I imagine River being in her late 20s here but it doesn't matter too much, you can choose! Enjoy my dears…**_

"River!" The Doctor called as he ran down the corridors. "Come on now, it's not funny any more!"

"It really is!" River laughed as the Doctor spun around madly. It sounded as if her voice was all around him, coming from the very walls of the TARDIS herself. "You've got to find me."

"Fine." The Doctor said, sighing heavily. "So it's somewhere with water but it's not the bathrooms, or the library, or the sauna, or the swimming pool-"

"When did I say it wasn't the swimming pool?" River laughed.

"Well no you didn't _say_ it exactly..." The Doctor blustered quickly. "But I looked in the swimming pool and-"

"Are you sure? Did you look really hard?" River laughed again. She was enjoying this far too much, the Doctor thought as he glared at the empty space around him before turning back and marching to pull open the door that led to the swimming pool.

"Well yes, obviously I did I…" The Doctor trailed off as the door swung open and he gazed at the empty room. "But I did and it was right here and- River! Have you been getting the TARDIS to move rooms again? Because you know that's cheating!"

"I didn't get her to do anything, she did it by herself!" River laughed once more. "She likes it when I win and you get all flustered. She thinks it's funny."

"But there's no way I can find you if you two are ganging up against me all the time! This is unfair. I guessed the swimming pool." He pouted and folded his arms in a sulk.

"Oh Sweetie, it's only a game. No need to get grumpy." River said softly, her voice still full of that teasing tone that drove the Doctor to distraction.

"Yes but you two… This…" He gestured wildly at the space where the swimming pool should have been. "Cheating!"

"Okay grumpy. Shall we put the swimming pool back? Will that stop you sulking?" River cooed.

"Yes… Please." The Doctor muttered as he pushed the door shut and waited expectantly as the TARDIS shuddered slightly around him. He pushed his ear to the door and heard a distant splashing. He grinned, waited for a second and then pulled the door open again. His smile grew wider as he looked at the swimming pool, finally back in its original position, and at the beautiful woman who was casually swimming across to the side.

"Happy now?" River grinned as she propped herself up on the side, her chin resting on her arms as she casually kicked her legs under the water.

"You know if anyone else tried the kind of stunts you pull I would just leave them back where I found them." The Doctor laughed as he walked towards the pool slowly, watching her intently. "I might have to start doing that with you, you're getting far too cocky."

"You'd never do that." River chuckled, biting her lip slightly. "You couldn't get rid of me."

"Well you at least need to stop ganging up on me. I'm not going to let you two spend time together if you keep being mean to me." He pouted slightly as he crouched down next to River.

"You won't do that either." She winked cheekily as she pushed herself up and lent in to kiss him but he pushed her forehead gently and she fell back into the water with a splash.

"Again with the cockiness Miss Song." He laughed as she re-immerged.

"We're your girls." River shrugged. "You'd never split us up."

"How do you…" The Doctor gasped, his eyes racking over her face and trying to decipher its secrets. "I never said that to anyone."

"Oh but she knows." River smiled as she placed her hand on his.

"And she just what… told you?" He asked in awe.

"Well, no. We're connected I suppose- in some way. You should know this by now." She winked cheekily.

"You are amazing, you know. A cocky cheater but an amazing one." He smiled down at her.

"Well thank you sweetie, I try my best." Her laughter echoed off the walls as the Doctor rolled his eyes at her. "Now are you going to help me out?" She held out one arm to him and he looked at it dubiously.

"Really River? You think I'm going to fall for that?" He smirked.

"Oh come on, I'm not going to pull you in. I just need a hand out. I can't believe you'd think that badly of me!" River said sadly.

"Oh... Really? Okay. Sorry." The Doctor muttered as he grabbed hold of River's hand. He gave one pull and saw a flash of her wicked grin before he felt himself pulled, head-first and fully clothed, into the pool.

"Okay, maybe I lied." River grinned as he emerged spluttering be her side.

"Oh. I hate you." The Doctor spat as he splashed River as hard as he could.

"No you don't!" River laughed as she swam backwards into the wall to try to escape the Doctor as he bore down on her. "I'm amazing, remember? Your life would be very dull without me!" She squealed.

"You are amazing and yes it would be dull but you are going to pay for that, River Song." He growled as he pushed her up against the side of the pool.

"Oh really?" River smirked as she raised one eyebrow

"Really really." He whispered as her face crept closer to his. Slowly she reached forward and pulled his face to hers, stopping when they were millimetres apart and his breath was catching in his chest. Gently she stuck her tongue out and licked the drops of water off his lips before she met them with her own. He groaned into her mouth and she smiled slightly.

"Unless I distract you first." River smiled as she pulled away, wrapping her arms securely around his neck as she did.

"How do you always manage to do that?" He moaned lightly as he lent in to kiss her again.

"What can I say? I'm amazing." River smirked and the Doctor rolled his eyes. He shouldn't have said that to her. It was going to make her, if possible, even worse. It was advisable, he decided, to just kiss her again before he said anything else he might regret.

**Review and I will love you forever. **


	63. A Leap Of Faith

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty-Three: A Leap Of Faith

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Doctor Who we wouldn't have had to wait this long for the next episode… Just saying.

_**Author's Note: Hello sweeties, sorry it's been a while since updateage. But here's one for you! Hope everyone is still enjoying and thanks to everyone who takes time to review any/all chapters, it always motivates me to write the next part. This one is set during Day Of The Moon sometime while they're travelling after having picked River up but before it all kicks off, in one of those missing scenes where the Doctor shaves his beard off that we all love to write/read about. Enjoy…**_

"Amy, can I have a quick word?" The Doctor asked as he bounded up to where his friends stood talking quietly. He grinned nervously and bounced slightly as Rory and Amy looked at him with curiosity. They never had secrets, well not secrets that one of them got told and the other didn't anyway. "On your own, just for a second?" The Doctor glanced at River and then back at the two of them pleadingly.

"Sure, of course you can Doctor." Amy said quickly as she threw Rory a worried look while the Doctor grabbed her hand and pulled her away. River rolled her eyes as she continued drying her hair and ignored Rory's questioning glances.

"Right. That should do it." The Doctor announced as he pulled Amy quickly into one of the side rooms and shut the door quickly behind them. "Right. Yes. She won't be able to hear us in here."

"What is it Doctor, what's wrong?" Amy asked worriedly as she watched him wring his hands.

"Wrong? Oh no no nothing's _wrong._ Well not exactly. Not sure if it's right either. Not really sure what it is at all if we're being honest." The Doctor rambled.

"And are we?" Amy asked quietly.

"Are we what?" The Doctor looked up at her quickly.

"Are we being honest?" She said softly, her eyes never leaving his as she tried to work out what was going on in that alien brain of his.

"Of course we are!" He replied, almost hurt.

"Okay, good. Then what's got you so worked up that you dragged me away? Honestly." Amy smiled as she folded her arms.

"You trust me, don't you Amy?" The Doctor said in a small voice.

"Of course." Amy replied, her forehead creasing as she did. "What's going on Doctor? What's wrong?" Her voice was filled with worry.

"You trust me even though I don't always tell you the truth, even though you don't always understand what I'm talking about and even though I… After all the things I've done. You still trust me."

"Yes, I do. But where's this…" Her voice tailed off as a look of comprehension hit her. "Oh. Right, so you're talking about-"

"But why?" The Doctor pressed. "Why do you trust me?"

"I don't know. I just do, I guess, just one of those things. I've known you since I was a little girl and you've never done anything… _untrustworthy_ around me. I guess that's why." Amy mused.

"But how do you know, how do you know when you should trust someone?" He finished quietly, looking away and scratching the back of his neck nervously. This was not easy, talking like this. It was all so very… Human and full of all those emotions he didn't understand too well.

"There's no rules, Doctor. Sometimes you trust the wrong people and you get hurt and sometimes you don't trust the right people and that hurts even more." Amy smiled slightly as she looked at him, so old but yet so so young. "You just have to hope that you're making the right decision and take a… A leap of faith, you could call it."

"A leap of faith?" The Doctor looked confused at her words.

"Yes. No one's asking you to jump off a fifty-story building but you need to make that jump and decide if you're going to trust her." Amy smirked as the Doctor looked away, embarrassed.

"Do you think I should?" He almost whispered.

"I can't tell you that. You have to figure it out yourself." She patted his arm gently as she walked past and opened the door. "Just don't take too long, okay? Human race to save and all that." She laughed as she walked out.

"What on earth was that all about?" Rory pounced as soon as she stepped back into the TARDIS control room.

"Oh nothing much, just stuff about, you know, the silence and-"

"Doctor Song!" The Doctor announced loudly and everyone jumped as he marched purposefully into the centre of the room, his face set in a determined expression. "Come here."

"What is it, sweetie?" River asked as she walked quickly towards him, a momentary flicker of worry crossing her face before she masked it with her usual grin.

"There's something I haven't done and I really should have. I just realised." The Doctor looked nervous and River swallowed quickly. "You were on the run for three months, hunted down and then had to jump off a building and hope I'd catch you. It must have been very difficult, and terrifying and… I haven't given you a hug. What kind of friend am I?"

"A pretty rubbish one." River laughed as the Doctor held out his arms and she stepped into them gratefully. Her eyes closed and she let out a slight sigh as his arms closed around her, pulling her close as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"What did you do?" Rory whispered as they looked at the two of them, standing perfectly still with their arms wrapped gently around each other.

"Nothing." Amy grinned. "He did that all by himself."

**Reviews are the best thing since sliced bread. **


	64. One For My Baby And One For The Road

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty-Four: One For My Baby And One For The Road

**Disclaimer:** None of it's mine. If it was then no one would be panicking about what may happen in future episodes with my darling OTP.

_**Author's Note: So this may be the last one I post before Let's Kill Hitler airs. I don't know about anyone else but I am absolutely terrified about what the Moff (in his wisdom) is going to do with River & their relationship. TERRIFIED. So, you know the drill, if you never hear from me again then I am crying and rocking in a corner cursing everyone under the sun. I will try my very best to continue with this afterwards as long as nothing too awful happens in which case I shall be shouting "BURN ALL MY FANFICTION!" in a manner of a crazy woman. Ahem. Anyways. This is an early Doctor/later River part & is dedicated to my lovely Toni as a (very) early birthday present. Enjoy…**_

"Doctor Song!" River looked up as she heard the TARDIS materialise inside her small cell and saw her Doctor stumble clumsily out of the open doors. "Or is it Miss Song, am I telling you spoilers? I always do that. Spoil, spoil, spoil with me and my big mouth." The Doctor rambled as he swayed slightly.

"What are you talking about?" River laughed as she put down her diary and folded her arms, watching him with an amused expression flittering across her face.

"The spoilers! I bet you don't know me at all do you? I have come to surprise you, to meet you! All the things we can do and then we can do some more things and. Oh, I'm the Doctor by the way." He grinned as he lunched forwards.

"Sweetie, I know." River muttered in confusion. "Have you had a bump on the head or something?"

"No no, no bumping, no bumpage. That's a great word isn't it… Bump." He grinned as he walked towards the bed and collapsed beside River. "But you can't know me. I went back, backwards and then back. So that I could be all "hello I'm the Doctor" and whisk you off your feet!"

"I don't know when you think you've gone to but you really haven't sweetie, I'm the same me you saw last time and you, if I'm not very much mistaken, have just come from Amy and Rory's anniversary party which was, oh, two weeks ago for me."

"No… I… How do you know that?" The Doctor gaped as he looked up at her.

"Because I was there, remember? And you reliably informed me that that was the only time you'd been drunk in this regeneration and that it gave you a desire to buy glasses because, apparently, they are the next "cool" thing. Remember?" She said slowly as she tried to get him to focus on what she was saying rather than being, very easily, distracted by her cleavage.

"But you can't know that! You can't be that you, I told the TARDIS to go back not forward." The Doctor sulked.

"Well I am that me and clearly she realised that you meeting me for the first time in this state may seriously alter our timeline." River raised one eyebrow as he pouted.

"I'm not drunk anyway. I only had one drink. Maybe two. Oh and then Rory said I had to have one for the road even though I explained to him that I don't go on roads I simply travel throughout all of time and space and even if I did go on roads drinking and then driving is not a good idea but then he said it was a song and it was "one for my baby, and one for the road". So then I had to have another one for the road now I understood, oh and one for my baby. That's you. You're my baby." The Doctor grinned at her sloppily.

"Doctor, sweetie, I am most definitely not your baby." River said, her voice caught between disapproval and amusement.

"Well I have to call you something." He slurred as he ran his hands up her arm what was clearly an attempt to try to be seductive.

"How about River? As that's my name." She laughed.

"But that's boring. And I hate boring boringness. You get to call me sweetie. I could call you…" He paused for a second, trying to think. "I could call you Mrs Robinson." He giggled slightly.

"You could, could you?" River asked dangerously.

"Yes, I really could!" He giggled excitedly. "Then I could say… 'Mrs Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?" He giggled slightly.

"And what would I say to that?" River purred as she crossed her legs and pushed herself up on her hands so her chest drew his attention even more than it had done previously. He swallowed hard as the room swayed slightly and he wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or River's heavy breathing that caused it.

"I urm… I don't know. That would depend, I suppose, on whether you were…" He paused and looked at her expectantly but she merely grinned and licked her lips slightly. "So, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Oh. Always, sweetie." She laughed as she manoeuvred herself quickly so her legs fell on either side of him and her hands entwined themselves in his hair. "Unless you object?" She raised her eyebrow knowingly.

"Definitely not objecting. No objections to the seducting." The Doctor gulped.

"Or unless you're too drunk." River smirked, her lips hovering an inch above his as her hair fell in his face. "I wouldn't want to be accused of taking advantage of you."

"You can take advantage of me any time." He muttered as he lent up to kiss her but she pulled back, a teasing smirk on her lips.

"I don't know, maybe we shouldn't, don't want you to regret anything in the morning." She whispered seductively.

"No. No. Definitely should. In fact I'm feeling sober now. Sober as a judge. Although saying that I've met a lot of judges who definitely weren't-"

"Sweetie? River cut across quickly.

"Yes?" The Doctor gulped guiltily.

"Do shut up."

"Whatever you say, Mrs Robinson." He grinned and pulled her down quickly, his lips crashing hungrily against hers as they fell backwards onto her bed and the room began to spin again.

**Reviews are the very best.**


	65. Anything That You Wanted To Be

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixth-Five: You Could Have Been Anything That You Wanted To Be

**Disclaimer:** I do not own this. Steven Moffat is my God and he owns my entire life.

_**Author's Note: Okay, so this contains SPOILERS FOR LET'S KILL HITLER. So if you haven't seen it, don't go reading this. & oh yes, I freaking loved it. Loved it with all my shipper heart & then some more. I'm not going to alter this story too much because I think it still (kinda) fits in with canon if you just imagine that all 'young River' parts are her once she's just regenerated. I'm not going to stray into Mels/Melody because I don't think the Doctor interacted with her, everything is still River Song/eleven but the events of all episodes so far stand. Get it? Good. Hehe. This part is set soon after LKH & is an early River. Enjoy…**_

"Hello?" The Doctor called as he heard the TARDIS door creak open and a scurry of feet rush past him. He'd thought he was alone tonight but apparently he had a visitor. He continued to stare at the console as the footsteps faded and he released a small breath because he wanted so badly for it to be her and if it was he couldn't just go wading in and scaring her off. If it wasn't then it would probably be someone who was trying to kill him and he'd just let them escape into the TARDIS but that was just a risk he would have to take. "I know you're there, its okay. You can come out whenever you want." He said quietly as he continued to fiddle absent-mindedly with the TARDIS controls. It took every ounce of restraint he never knew he had not to turn around and look for her. The silence surrounded him for the longest time as he waited with baited breath for the smallest noise. "River?" He called eventually, when he could take it no longer. "Is that you River Song?"

"I don't know." A small voice came from behind him and he jumped as he spun around to see her. She looked so small, so young and so fragile as she stood there in the corner, arms folded protectively herself- forming a barrier between them. "Am I, am I her yet?"

"How long's it been?" The Doctor asked quickly as he walked up to her and fought the erg to reach out and touch her face.

"A month, maybe a bit more. I haven't long been out of hospital. I had to find you." Her eyes flickered away from his face as if she was worried of looking too deeply, seeing too much. "How long has it been for you?"

"Longer." He said simply, a sad smile lighting up his face. "I missed you River."

"You told me to find her. To find River Song. How will I know when I've found her?" She whispered quietly.

"You've always been her. You always will be her." He reached out to touch her again but drew back his hand in case it was too much, too soon.

"I'm not!" She snapped. "I'm Melody. Mels. I'm not that woman you…." She trailed off.

"The woman I…?" The Doctor teased gently.

"The woman you… Love. That's not me." She stared at the floor, refusing to meet his intense gaze.

"It could be. Can be. Will be. If you want it to. Rule eighteen, you can be anything you want to be." She snorted as she tried to hold back a laugh and he grinned. "Still not writing these down, huh?"

"I'm trained to kill you. I did, I killed you. That's who I am." She whispered.

"You saved me, River. _That_ is who you are." The Doctor reached out and lifted her chin gently so she had to look at him.

"How do you know I won't hurt you? It's still all in here. Half of me wants to kill you and half of me wants to kiss you." River confessed softly.

"I have the effect on a lot of people." The Doctor grinned, trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't want to hurt you." She whispered as she closed her eyes and leaned into the hand that still lingered on her face.

"You won't." He smiled brightly.

"How can you know?" River snapped quickly as her eyes flew open.

"Because you choose what you do and who you are, you decide. You. Not some _thing_ they put in your head years ago." He spoke kindly and his voice cracked slightly as he saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

"What if I chose the wrong thing, though?" She bit her lip nervously and he smiled as he pulled her close to him quickly. She stiffened momentarily but soon relaxed into his embrace, a small sigh escaping her lips as she did.

"I'll be there to help you." He muttered as he dropped a kiss into her hair.

"Really?" River asked into his shoulder.

"For as long as you need me." He smiled as she drew back and looked into his eyes. She was still so hesitant, so unsure of this man who caused her so many conflicting feelings.

"And if I need you… Forever?" Her eyes searched his and he smiled as he lent forward and kissed her, ever-so-gently, his lips barely brushing hers.

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetie." The Doctor laughed lightly.

"I thought only River Song got to say that." She smirked slightly as she put her hands behind his head. "You stealing my lines now?"

"Wouldn't dream of it, River Song." He grinned broadly as he pulled her closer, his lips hovering just above hers as he heard her breath catch at the sound of her name. "My River Song."

**Please review & let me know how this went. I'm kinda nervous about this part! **


	66. Going Straight

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty-Six: Going Straight. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not write for Doctor Who and therefore own no rights to these characters. Though if anyone could hook me up with a job doing that I would be very grateful.

**_Author's Note: A million thankyous to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I am so relieved you all (well most of you lol) liked it :D this one contains no spoilers for LKH so if you haven't seen it don't panic, you can read in peace. This is a younger River/older Doctor. I imagine it being set while she's at university. This one came from a prompt from _LadyTatianna _and as ever prompts are received with open arms and any submitted aren't being ignored but my brain only does them when it feels like it ;) Enjoy…_**

"River Song!" The Doctor called loudly as he pushed open the front door and bounded up the staircase in the small block of flats. "Come on River, get your coat- you've pulled!" He laughed to himself as he began pushing open doors on the floor she lived, searching for the one she was in.

"In here, sweetie!" He heard River's voice float out of her bedroom at the far end of the hall and he beamed as he ran towards it. Today was going to be brilliant- he had so many adventures planned for the two of them.

"Well hurry up Miss Song because time waits for no-" He stopped quickly as he reached her room and saw a young girl with long brown hair gazing out of the window and no sign of River anywhere. He bit his lip and scanned the room again quickly for any signs of her. "Sorry, I thought… urm. Is River in here?" He asked hesitantly.

"What are you talking about, my love?" The girl laughed as she turned around and the Doctor gaped. It looked like River but with a very short black dress and very high heels and very, very straight hair.

"I… What… Is that **you** River?" The gasped as his eyes raked up and down her body.

"Of course it's me, who else would be standing in my room, wearing my clothes and looking like me?" River laughed.

"But you, I mean, your **hair**." The Doctor muttered as he continued to stare at her, transfixed.

"Yes, I've done my hair, I'm going out… Oh is this the first time you've seen me with straightened hair?" She laughed at the look of confusion on his face. "Oh bless, look at you. Do you like it?"

"I just… well. That must have taken hours!" He spluttered.

"Yes, it did. Three to be precise." She winked. "What do you think? I'm still not too sure I like the curls."

"I like your curls. I mean this is nice too but I... It just doesn't look like you." He mumbled, still slightly shocked.

"Oh so I have to be able to know each and every face you ever have and when I change my hair you don't recognise me? Charming!" She huffed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that." He said quickly as he walked towards her and held out his arms to hug her. "It looks lovely, you look-"

"Don't you dare say I look like my mum!" She laughed as she stepped forward into his embrace.

"I was going to say beautiful." He grinned as he kissed the top of her head gently. "Although now you mention it…" He laughed and she hit his arm hard. "Hey! Only joking!" He pouted as the pulled apart and he rubbed his arm.

"Serves you right." She grinned as she lent back against the windowsill and smirked. "So what are we doing today?"

"I thought you were going out. You know with the hair, and the dress…" He trailed off, becoming momentarily distracted by her skimpy outfit once more.

"I am. Going out with you." She laughed.

"Don't pretend you knew I was coming!" The Doctor grinned. "This was a surprise."

"Of course it was. I had no idea." River smirked as she reached behind her and picked up her diary and her gun and placed them in the bag on her shoulder. "None at all."

"So this… The hair, the clothes…. They're for me?" He gulped slightly as she closed the gap between them.

"It's always for you, my love." She whispered into his ear as he shuddered. "Unless you object, want me to get changed into something more sensible?"

"Oh no." The Doctor smiled as he ran his hands through her hair and down her back. "I don't like sensible. Sensible is boring."

"Well that's good because I don't intend to be at all sensible tonight." She grinned wickedly as she lent up to kiss him and the Doctor smiled. Different hair, same River.

**Reviews are just amazing.**


	67. What Ifs

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty-Seven: What Ifs. 

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters or situations belongs to me. They are property of the BBC.

_**Author's Note: Wow. A HUGE thankyou to all of you who reviewed the last chapter. We've made it to 1000 reviews! Oh my gosh. That is so unbelievably brilliant and I love you all very much. Also, to anyone who commented saying they couldn't imagine what River would look like with straight hair google Alex in Essex Boys and you'll see what it looks like :) This one is a mid-time fic. Enjoy…**_

"River!" The Doctor shouted as he dropped the cup of tea he was holding and it smashed to the floor noisily as he began to run in the direction of the scream he'd just heard. River's scream. Both his hearts raced at the sound of the horrible noise as he tried to fathom what could possibly have happened. She'd been asleep, in their bed, safe, no one could have got into the TARDIS, nothing could have happened. He repeated this pleadingly as he tugged open the door to their bedroom- nothing could have happened to her. "River what's wrong? What's happened?" He panted as he gazed down at her sat bolt upright in bed with the covers pulled around her, white as a sheet and looking petrified.

"N…Nothing." She stammered as she glanced warily around the room.

"What's wrong? You can tell me." He pleaded as he sat down beside her and put his hand on her shaking arm.

"I said it was nothing." She snapped.

"It must have been _something_ River. You screamed so loudly I heard you from the control room. Was it a dream?" She nodded, ever so slightly, and he let out a long breath. "It's okay to have bad dreams. After everything you've been through in your life you're bound-"

"It is not okay!" She barked crossly. "And don't you dare try to psychoanalyse me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" He stammered sheepishly.

"No. No. I'm sorry." River sighed sadly as she hung her head. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She opened her arms and he nuzzled close to her gratefully. "I didn't mean to snap. Just got scared. And I don't deal well with scared, doesn't happen all that often." She laughed lightly.

"I know. Do you… Do you want to talk about it?" He asked hesitantly.

"Not really, no." She shrugged. "It's just so unfair. Why is it all still in my head? After all the things you've seen why am I the one who wakes up screaming?"

"I do too, you know, sometimes." He said quietly as he fiddled with his braces absentmindedly.

"Really?" She asked, surprised. "I've never heard you."

"Its not when you're here. Never when you're here." He sighed as he lent in closer and stroked her hair. "But when we're apart I have these dreams, these nightmares I suppose…"

"What are they about?" She asked quietly, looking younger than he'd seen her in a long time.

"About you, always you. Time can be re-written, River, we both know that. And when I'm alone I think of all the things that could go wrong, that could change. All the what ifs that float around in the universe. And in these dreams something happens, each time something new, and our timelines are altered and I don't get to you in time, to make you who you are today. Or you don't get born. Or you never meet me. I dream of all the times I don't save you." He whispered sadly.

"But you do, sweetie." She said quickly as she wrapped her arms around him, littering kisses on the top of his head. "You always save me. No matter what changes you'll always find a way, my love for you will always save me from becoming what we both fear." As she spoke she wondered who she was trying to convince, herself or him.

"I know that. Rationally I know that. But there's no telling me that when I sleep. So I've taken to not sleeping when you're not here. And if I do, and these dreams creep up on me, then I have to come and find you. Any version of you really. I just pop in to check you're still there, still okay, still my River." He smiled.

"I never see you." She mused.

"Well, no, I usually just come while you're asleep and leave before you wake." He grinned, pleased with his own cleverness.

"Has anyone ever told you that's a bit creepy? Just watching someone sleep?" She laughed. "I'm sure I had a stalker that used to do that."

"It was probably me." The Doctor grinned.

"Probably." River smiled. She lent her head against his chest and they sat there, still and quiet, for a long time.

"It'll be okay, won't it?" The Doctor asked quietly, breaking the silence that surrounded them.

"It will. Look at us, we're fine. We've got this. No matter what happens or what they change they can never change this, never take it away from us." She smiled as she lent up to kiss him gently.

"You're right. Of course. You're always right." He smiled warmly.

"Well I never thought I'd hear you say that." She laughed as she tried to stifle a yawn.

"Doesn't happen often, so make the most of it." The Doctor smiled. "Now get back to sleep you." He pushed her nose gently.

"Will you stay with me?" River mumbled sleepily as she lay back down.

"Of course." The Doctor lay beside her, placing a light kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes. "Nothing will hurt you while I'm around, my love." He whispered softly as she drifted back to sleep.

**Please take a moment to review.**


	68. Banana Split

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty-Eight: Banana Split.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own a single thing here. Although I'm working on making Alex Kingston mine ;)

**_Author's Note: Well here we are again, another day another part of Doctor/River fluff that just must be written. Hehe. Thank you so much for all the reviews and to everyone who's dedicated hours of their time to reading this all in one go- you are amazing! This is a response to a prompt from _x-Avarice-x _and is a mid-time fic. Enjoy…_**

"That was amazing." River moaned, satisfied, as she lent back into her chair and placed one hand onto her stomach. "That was just the most amazing meal I have ever had." She groaned as she closed her eyes slightly before she heard a very pronounced cough and sat up quickly to see the Doctor looking at her, with one eyebrow raised. "Well apart from yours, of course, sweetie."

"I am the best cook." The Doctor grinned at her across the table.

"Yes, very good, apart from when you get a little bit over-enthused and end up setting fire to something… like you did tonight." River laughed.

"Well I don't see you offering to cook!" He huffed sulkily as he crossed his arms.

"No, and you never will!" She grinned as he rolled his eyes. "But I'm sure if I did then the TARDIS kitchen would still be in tact-"

"It would explode from the shock of you attempting to cook!" The Doctor scowled as River laughed loudly. "I bet if you even-"

"Was everything okay with your meals?" The waiter smiled politely as he walked over to their table and lent down to scoop up their empty plates.

"It was wonderful." River smiled as the Doctor pouted at being interrupted at the beginning of what he'd clearly planned to be a long rant.

"Great." The waiter smiled. "Can I get you any desserts?"

"I'm fine, thanks, what about you sweetie?" River smiled as she reached out to hold his hand in an attempt to sooth him.

"You don't want pudding?" The Doctor hissed, confused.

"No. I'm full. But you have one if you want my love." She said soothingly, trying to avoid a scene in front of the waiter.

"I just don't understand… It's the best part of the meal!" The Doctor muttered, more to himself than anyone else, as he shook his head slightly. "Do you have anything with bananas in?" He asked enthusiastically as River sighed.

"Well we have a banana split, sir… Would you like one?" The waiter asked nervously.

"A banana _split_? What's one of those?" The Doctor asked enthusiastically as his face lit up.

"Well it's urm, a banana with ice-cream in it and whipped cream on top." The waiter said nervously, unsure exactly how to react to a man who didn't know what a banana split was.

"Sound perfect!" He grinned. "Now are you _sure_ you don't want anything River. Not even a little pudding?"

"No, thank you sweetie. I'm full. I'll just have a coffee." She smiled at the waiter as he nodded and moved away from the table.

"Now don't think you're having any of mine." The Doctor said sternly as he wagged his finger at her. "You had your chance, Doctor Song."

"Wouldn't dream of it." She laughed.

"I know what you're like. You always want whatever I have." He pouted.

"That's a very deep psychological insight for this time of night, dear." River grinned as the Doctor spluttered.

"I didn't mean… Psychological?... Pudding!" He muttered quickly as River laughed loudly.

"I know, just teasing." She soothed him as she patted his hand gently. "Now stop rambling, your pudding's here."

"Your Coffee." The waiter said as he placed a cup down in front of River. "And your banana split, Sir."

"Thank you." River chuckled as the Doctor's face lit-up and he grabbed his spoon and began shovelling the food down his throat at an alarming rate. "Enjoying that?" River raised one eyebrow as she sipped her coffee.

"Oh, yes!" The Doctor mumbled through his full mouth. "It's delicious!"

"I'm glad. But you may want to breathe at some point." She grinned and he put his spoon down reluctantly and took a few deep breaths, gazing mournfully down at his almost-gone banana split. "Good. You can carry on- Wait! Was that a Dalek?" River shrieked as she pointed out of the window behind him and the Doctor leapt out of his chair and pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his top pocket.

"Where? Which way was it going River?" He shouted as he thrust his screwdriver about wildly. "River?" He asked again as he heard the clatter of a spoon against a plate. "Can you see it?"

"Oh no, it must have gone." River said thickly.

"Gone? Daleks don't just _go_ River Song and they-" He stopped as he turned around and looked back at the table. "River, where is my banana split?"

"Urm… The Dalek ate it?" River shrugged, trying to suppress her laughter.

"The Dalek… There never was one, was there? _You_ ate my pudding!" He gasped in outrage.

"Only a tiny bit of it." River smirked.

"Oh… You… I cannot believe…" The Doctor fumed as he sat down and folded his arms crossly, glaring at River.

"Oh sweetie, don't sulk." River said as she reached her hand across to stroke his arm but he moved it quickly out of her reach. "I'll make it up to you."

"You can't…" He pouted. "How?" He asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"I've got some whipped cream in the TARDIS." River grinned as she raised one eyebrow.

"I don't want whipped cream. I want banana and ice cream _and_ whipped cream. Whipped cream on its own is just rubbish." The Doctor grumbled.

"I bet I could think of somewhere I could put it where it would be very… non rubbish." She whispered seductively as he looked at her with confusion.

"I don't think wherever it was it would be… Oh." The Doctor's eyes widened as he looked River up and down. "Oh."

"Penny drops." River laughed.

"Can we get the bill please?" The Doctor shouted loudly, his face breaking into a broad grin. He'd just discovered the one thing in the world better than a banana split.

**Review? I would be ever so grateful. **


	69. Dressing Gown

Not One For The Diary

Memory Sixty-Nine: Dressing-gown

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Not one teeny tiny thing. Honest.

_**Author's Note: Well hello my loves, how are you all today? Thank you once again to everyone who takes the time to review my little (well, not so little any more) story. You are amazing. This is another mid-time one & was inspired by a photo taken from confidential with Alex & Matt when she's in a dressing gown. Yeah. Mmmhmm. Enjoy…**_

"Morning sweetie!" River called lightly as she sat down at the table and lent over to kiss the Doctor lightly on the cheek as Amy and Rory rolled their eyes from across the table. They were, slowly but surely, getting used to these public displays of emotion and the touchy-feely way River was no matter who she was around but this was just too early in the morning.

"Morning River." Rory nodded curtly as the Doctor coughed slightly and got up hurriedly, busying himself making toast and tea for the newest arrival to the table. "Sleep well?"

"Mmm." River muttered sleepily as she ran her hands through her hair. "Yes, eventually, but the Doctor kept-"

"Jam?" The Doctor interrupted loudly. "Honey? Marmite? Butter?"

"Honey, please, sweetie." River laughed as she saw him turn a very interesting shade of red.

"Well he never makes breakfast for us, I don't think this is very fair." Amy laughed as she sipped her tea and the Doctor turned away, almost knocking over the toaster as he did.

"Well… We have a give and take relationship. He gives me breakfast and I take-"

"River! This is far too much information!" Rory barked quickly.

"I was _going_ to say 'I take the rubbish out'. Honestly, I don't know what you're thinking." River smirked as the couple opposite rolled their eyes in unison.

"Here you go River, your- oops!" The Doctor stumbled elaborately and ended up throwing the toast he held across the table to River. She laughed and grabbed the plate quickly before it span off the table.

"Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with you today. You're worse than normal." She sighed as he went to sit down beside her and almost missed the chair.

"Well, you can't be helping. He's distracted enough as it is without you…" Amy waved her hand in River's general direction as if this proved her point.

"Without me, what, exactly?" River said icily and the Doctor and Rory both looked worriedly from one woman to the other.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt if you out some clothes on. Give the poor guy a break." Amy laughed. River rolled her eyes but a small smile crept across her face as the men let out a sigh of relief. Crisis averted.

"I am wearing a dressing gown, I'm hardly naked!" River insisted.

"And I'm very grateful for that otherwise he'd probably have crashed the TARDIS by now." Amy chuckled softly as she tapped Rory's hand. "Come on, let's go get ready. Give these two some time." Rory opened his mouth to object but a quick look from Amy silenced him and the grudgingly left the table.

"What did she mean by that?" River asked crossly as soon as they were out of ear-shot.

"Mmm?" The Doctor mumbled distractedly as he tore his eyes away from River's chest reluctantly.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing? It's a dressing gown, it's _your_ dressing gown for goodness sake. I've got no make up on, haven't done my hair, wearing a baggy dressing gown and apparently that's distracting?" She muttered, annoyed.

"It is very distracting." He laughed as he pulled her chair closer to his and put his arms around her. "You, here, with no make-up and messy hair and my dressing gown and you're still the most beautiful thing in the universe." He grinned as he kissed the side of her head.

"You," She laughed as she lent in against him. "Are getting soppy in your old age."

"And you love it." He grinned as he grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap and she squealed with laughter.

"Oh Doctor, you know me too well." She laughed as she lent down to kiss him.

"So, as much as I love the dressing-gown, and I really do, what would I have to do to persuade you to take it off?" He asked with mock innocence.

"They'll be back soon." River muttered distractedly as the Doctor began to run his hands up her legs.

"I'm sure we could get the TARDIS to, urm, move their room for a bit so it takes them a while to find their way out." He grinned cheekily and River patted his cheek gently.

"Beneath your mad, brilliant, last-of-the-time-lords persona you're just a dirty old man aren't you?" She laughed throatily as his hands roamed over her body greedily.

"It's entirely your fault, I'll have you know. I wasn't like this before you came along." He muttered into her neck as his hands entwined in her hair.

"Oh, do you want me to go then?" She grinned cheekily as she moved to stand up but he grabbed her and held her tightly around the waist.

"You're not going anywhere, Doctor Song." He muttered as he kissed her. "Not a chance."

**Please review. This chapter has taken me forever & I'm still not entirely happy with it but I think it's as good as it's going to get! Lemme know what you think, yeah?**


	70. The Girl Who Looked

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy: The Girl Who Looked.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of these characters but just like to play with them when I have free time.

_**Author's Note: Many thanks, as ever, to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter. Sorry it's been a while but I'm baaaack so yay. I know I haven't really gone down the Amy/Rory parents route so far but I am going to in this one because… I decided that's what I'm doing now. And it does really make sense not to, you know? This piece is inspired ever-so-mildly by the episode 'The Girl Who Waited' in so much as I imagine this taking place after it but there's no real spoilers in it so don't panic. It's kinda a mid-time fic. Yeah, it's mid-time. Sorry I'm rather indecisive today. Anyway, enjoy…**_

"So." Amy announced as she launched herself over the back of the sofas and flopped down next to where River was sat.

"So?" River looked up as she quickly shut her diary with a smile, seeing Amy's eyes dart towards it.

"Soooo." Amy elongated her word, smiling at her friend-come-daughter.

"Spit it out." River laughed as she crossed her leg across her knee and looked levelly at the younger woman.

"Spit what out?" Amy stuttered with mock innocence.

"Whatever you came jumping over here to ask. I doubt you just wanted to check-in with that level of enthusiasm." River laughed.

"Well, I just… I'm hurt River!" Amy gasped, still keeping up the pretence.

"Sorry," River grinned and rolled her eyes. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I was just wondering…" Amy began nervously. "What's it like?"

"What's what like?" River asked curiously, her face losing its grin for the first time since the conversation had began.

"Being married to the Doctor." Amy said quietly, looking away.

"Oh Amy." River laughed. "Amy, Amy, Amy-"

"Surely that should be 'mum, mum, mum' by now?" Amy grinned.

"Sorry mother." River said quickly, trying to look serious and not smirk. "Last time I saw you you didn't know who I was, it takes a bit of getting used to. Timey wimey and all that."

"It must be so hard for you." Amy said sadly as she reached out and put her hand on her daughter's arm.

"You get used to it." River shrugged. "I've never known any different."

"And being married to the Doctor?" Amy asked quietly.

"Well I've never known any other marriage if that's what you mean." River said as she furrowed her brow, confused.

"Do you have to get used to being married to him?" Amy explained quickly as River folded her eyes and looked at her sternly. "I don't mean… I just worry." She sighed. "I don't understand how it would work."

"It's just like any other relationship." River smiled slightly. "We're never going to be like you and dad and get a house and grow old together but the real things, the important things, they're the same."

"But do you just…?" Amy trailed off, searching for the right words. "It's all messed up for you, isn't it? Backwards and in the wrong ordered. Do you just spend your life waiting for the times when he turns up?"

"I live for when I see him, it's true. But I don't just sit around and wait for him to show up, you should know that by now. I'm not you, mum." River smiled gently.

"Hey, I don't _wait_ for him-" Amy snapped hotly.

"Amelia Pond, the girl who waited. All night in your garden, right?" She laughed lightly. "I know the story. Everywhere he goes people are waiting for him. Waiting for him to arrive, to save them, to take them away. Usually women, admittedly. They think he's this amazing being sent from God. It's harder to have that opinion once you've lived with him!"

"I know, right?" Amy laughed too and they grinned at each other. "Once you've seen him prance about in a fez it's harder to see him as the saviour of the cosmos."

"Exactly! So that's not how I am. Maybe that's why it works with us." River mused as she fiddled with the hem of her sleeve.

"So how are you?" Amy asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"I look for him, I do. I spend most of my life looking for that impossible man. But he looks for me too. He has to. We always find each other in the end. We need each other. So you don't have to worry about me, he'll never let me down." River looked sincerely into her mother's eyes as she tried to make her believe in what she was saying.

"Well that's good." Amy smiled. "That's something."

"Well, well… what are you two gossiping about?" The Doctor asked excitedly as he flopped down on the sofa and kissed River gently on the cheek as Amy rolled her eyes.

"Just talking about you." River grinned as she leaned back against him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Aw look at that, my girls talking about me." He grinned as he looked down at River.

"We are not your girls!" Amy and River retorted in unison and then laughed as they heard their words echoed.

"So I get to be your raggedy doctor and _your_ sweetie." He paused and looked at them both levelly. "But you can't be my girls?"

"Yep." River grinned

"Sounds about right." Amy laughed.

**Reviews are my most favourite thing in the whole world ever.**


	71. Dreaming Of A White Christmas

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-One: Dreaming Of A White Christmas

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to any of these lovely people. And I'm pretty sure Christmas belongs to Tesco or some similar corporation.

_**Author's Note: Hello my loves, I hope you're all keeping well. I have so many ideas and so little time to write them at the moment, it's killing me. If anyone has a cloning machine or similar that would be wonderful. Until then I shall be updating as much as I can so please stick with me! This is a later River/earlier Doctor piece and before anyone mentions it YES, I KNOW IT'S SEPTEMBER but I work in a pub so we've been advertising Christmas for about 2 months now and they're filming the Christmas special so :p hehe enjoy…**_

"River Song, where are you taking me?" The Doctor asked with a grin as he lent against the wall of the TARDIS and folded his arms. He was still trying to get used to this, to letting someone else take control and not only chose where they went but actually take them there. With anyone else he would be nervous but it was River and she was… well, _River._ Plus it had been so long since he'd let go of the reigns, so to speak, that he was rather enjoying this new sensation.

"I'm not telling you, it's a surprise!" River laughed as he pouted. "You'll see soon enough and, as I keep telling you, patience is a virtue. One you clearly don't possess!"

"Patience is over-rated." The Doctor muttered sulkily.

"You can't have everything your own way, my love." River laughed lightly. Sometimes it was hard to remember that he was the most feared being in all the cosmos, especially when he insisted on acting like an over-grown four-year-old.

"Why not?" He asked, surprised, as if this was the first time such a thing had ever been suggested to him.

"Because that's just how the world works, sweetie." River grinned. "Plus I'd never get to see that cute little pouty face of yours otherwise." She winked and blew him a kiss with one hand as she pulled an array of levers on the TARDIS controls with the other and they came smoothly to a stop. "But we're here now so you don't have to worry any longer."

"Ooh, where are we?" The Doctor asked excitedly as he bounced slightly on the balls of his feet.

"Have a look." River smiled as she watched him rush towards the doors and pull them open with that look of child-like wonder that warmed her soul.

"Right, so it's…" The Doctor paused as he looked around, deducing when and where they were. "Earth. 1959. December. Am I right?"

"Of course! December twenty-fifth to be precise." River grinned as she walked forward and linked her arm through his.

"Christmas Day?" The Doctor exclaimed excitedly. "I love Christmas Day!"

"I know you do." She laughed again at how wide his eyes were as he gazed around the snow-covered landscape. She gently pulled him forwards towards the small cottage with smoking chimney that stood in front of them. "But somehow yours always get interrupted with some disaster, there's always aliens or exploding volcanoes or damsels in distress or _something_ going wrong. I wanted to give you a proper Earth Christmas where the worst thing that happens is I attempt to cook."

"You're _cooking_?" The Doctor gasped in mock-alarm as they reached the wooden door and River punched him lightly on the arm.

"_Attempting _to cook. Attempting being the important word." She laughed happily as she pushed the door open to reveal the warm glow of a blazing fire and the smell of turkey cooking.

"Look at this…" The Doctor gasped as they stepped inside and shook the snow off their shoulders. He glanced around the room hungrily, trying to take in every detail. "Fairy lights!" He exclaimed as he pointed at the twinkling lights that lined the walls. "And tinsel! And a Christmas tree… and little stockings and cards and presents! This is… This is perfect."

"You forgot to mention the mistletoe." River smirked cheekily as she stepped in front of him and put her arms around him as she glanced upward.

"Mistletoe? Is that what that is?" He asked as he stared at it curiously.

"You don't know what mistletoe is? You strange Time Lord, you." River laughed.

"I've seen it but I don't really know what it's for." He protested, sounding slightly hurt.

"It's a good job I'm here for your first proper Christmas. There are some people who would take advantage of your lack of knowledge." She grinned wickedly as she put her hand behind his head and pulled him down into a deep kiss.

"And what exactly would that be, if not taking advantage of me?" The Doctor grinned as they pulled apart and he dropped a light kiss onto her nose.

"Mistletoe." River grinned.

"No, that was definitely a kiss River. Even strange Time Lords like myself can deduce that much." He rolled his eyes slightly.

"Yes, it was a kiss. But that's what you have to do under mistletoe." River laughed as the Doctor's eyes widened.

"So every time you meet under mistletoe you **have **to kiss? It's like, a rule?" He stammered.

"It's practically law." River grinned as she lent up to kiss him again gently.

"I should get some of this for the TARDIS and put it in our room." The Doctor grinned cheekily.

"It only works at Christmas, sweetie." River murmured as she pulled him close and put her head on his chest.

"Time machine." He smiled, kissing the top of her hair softly. "It's always Christmas somewhere."

**Reviews make me happy and smiley and stuff.**


	72. Look At Me And Say That Again

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-Two: Look At Me And Say That Again

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Doctor Who you'd sure now about it by now.

**_Author's Note: Many thanks to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter, I loves ya! This one contains VERY VERY MILD spoilers for The God Complex. It's one of those where I imagine it being set after the ep so the way they act will be affected by what happened if you know what I mean. You probably don't. I have killer flu so not sure how much sense I'm making. ANYWAY. This is an early River/current Doctor (as in he's just had The God Complex events in his timeline) Enjoy…_**

**"Doctor?" River asked quietly as she looked across at him. Her voice caught in an almost hesitant way that the Doctor was unused to hearing and h**e felt his hearts skip a beat. He knew what was coming next and he knew how much it would hurt: but it had to be done.

"Yes River?" He grinned, trying to keep his voice light and stop any hurt from showing. He darted around the console, pushing the buttons and making a show. Anything to stop looking into those eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly as she stood in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. Gingerly she placed one hand on his arm and stared at it, unsure this was allowed. It was still so new, so different for her.

"Wrong? Why would anything be wrong? Nothing's wrong. In fact everything's okay. Always okay." He rambled and smiled but still didn't meet her eyes. The eyes would be his downfall.

"It's just… I mean you came when I called, like you said, like I knew you would. And we had a great day, really great, with the running and the explosions and… But it feels wrong. Maybe I'm misreading this but when you told me, about me, when I first regenerated I mean, it seemed like there was more that this. It's great, don't get me wrong, but I feel like… Your friend. You flinch when I touch you. When you said… After I…" She gestured wildly with her arms and he knew what she meant. When she decided to save him, when he gave her that message. "I thought it was something more. Was I wrong?"

"No." He said quietly and bit his lip as he paused for the longest time. "More than a friend I think." He grinned as he finally looked up to meet her eyes, his hand stroking the side of her face gently as she lent into the contact.

"So what is wrong?" She asked firmly after a moment.

"I can't take you. I can't." He said quietly, sadly, as he looked resolutely at his shoes so he wouldn't see her expression. "I just realised I can't take people with me any more, it's too much of a risk. I'm lonely and selfish and people die."

"I'm not asking you to take me-" River began hotly.

"No. But you will, one day. Or I just won't want to let you go. And then we'll travel together and become… God, knows what to each other. And then you'll die." He closed his eyes quickly at the memory and grimaced at his spoiler. "They always die." He added hastily, hoping she wouldn't know he was talking about her actual death but instead assume it was merely some abstract fear.

"And if I don't care?" She asked, her bright eyes blazing with passion.

"Care? Of course you care! You aren't like me, not any more. You've got no regenerations left." He shouted.

"But I've got one life left!" River cut across him angrily and loudly. Her face was set and for the first time he felt almost afraid of her. This woman who'd tried to kill him, who may still kill him, he'd never feared her until now. "One life. This one. Could you live with yourself if you turned away from me, from what we have? You say you're scared for me but that's a lie. You're terrified, sure, but because you can't deal with it. I know what this life would entail, I know and I choose this one. I choose you. You know what I am, what I've been through, and you'd confine me to sitting at home staring up at the stars I could never see would you? You'd leave me to appease your own conscience, is that it? My death doesn't scare me. I'd rather live one day like this, with you, than a lifetime full of nothingness." She paused as she looked at him, daring him to meet her eyes. "You said you can't take me. Tell me again. Look at me now and tell me you can't take me… Do it… Look at me!" River shouted and he flinched.

"I can't." His eyes flicked up to her face and he bit down on his lip. "I'm old and selfish and lonely and I want you River. I want you with me and if you say one more thing I'll take you with me and never look back and that terrifies me because I know what will happen. How it ends."

"I'm old and selfish and lonely too." River smiled as she moved closer to him, tentatively putting her hands around his waist. "I know it will hurt you, when I die or I leave or I get lost or however it ends, but I don't care because I want it to happen. There's an earth saying, you've probably heard it before, "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Well this is it, Doctor, this is where you choose. Is it worth it? Does it get to happen?" She smiled and he looked at her, really looked at her, the woman he knew so well and yet not at all. The woman who surprised him every single time.

"It'll be dangerous." He said softly, stroking the hair out of her face.

"I'm counting on it." She grinned.

"Sometimes you'll hate me." He smiled, remembering.

"And sometimes, will I love you?" River laughed cheekily as she raised one eyebrow.

"Often, maybe always, if I let you." The Doctor said, suddenly serious again.

"And will you? Will you let me?" She asked quietly, so close their faces almost touched. "Will you let yourself?"

"I don't think I have a choice, do I?" The Doctor smiled as he lent forward, brushing his lips against hers. "And I don't think I'd want one."

Please review. Thanking you :)


	73. Honeymoon

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-Three: Honeymoon 

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing apart from a River Song diary and a couple of badges. Oh and a Doctor Who pencil case and a lot of pictures of Alex. But not the characters or anything.

_**Author's Note: Oh my days, guys, I AM SO SORRY. I know it's been literally weeks since I updated. I have not died (that I'm aware of) or fallen from the face of the earth. Something far worse has happened. I have broken my laptop! *cries* so I am currently writing this on a crappy library computer at uni when I really possibly should be doing some work. But shush. I will update as often as I can until I can buy myself a new computer. Anyways, enough of that. This part is based on TWORS so if you haven't seen it, urm, spoilers! I imagine this being directly after the last scene (or possibly just a bit before it) for the Doctor & much later for River. Enjoy…**_

"So tell me." The Doctor announced casually as he stepped out of the TARDIS and lent against the bars that divided him and his newly-acquired wife. "Do we ever get a honeymoon?"

"Oh sweetie." River laughed throatily as she stood up from her bed and walked across to him, placing her hands on the bars. "You must be young."

"Does that mean I would remember because it was so amazing or I would remember the amount of trouble I get into for not taking you on one?" The Doctor smirked as he turned to face River fully, his hand hovering an inch above hers- not quite daring to touch.

"You'll have to wait and see." River winked quickly and the Doctor sighed.

"But we don't go now, I take it?" He sighed.

"Well you're dead and I'm in prison so it might cause a bit of a stir if we're spotted on a beach somewhere." She chuckled.

"But we do go, eventually?" He asked again, with a small hint of desperation in his voice.

"Ah, spoilers." River laughed as she watched the look of annoyance flash across his face.

"Hey, we're married now. You don't get to keep doing that _spoilers_ thing to me." He muttered grumpily.

"Your rules, my love." She smirked as he rolled my eyes.

"Yes but you don't seem to mind breaking them, when you feel like it." He muttered quietly.

"Ah well, you wouldn't love me if I always did as I was told." River replied cheekily as she stood back and gestured to the lock on her door and watched as the Doctor quickly pulled out his sonic screwdriver and stepped through the now-open door. "It would be no fun at all."

"Is it fun?" The Doctor asked quietly as he stepped towards her nervously. He was so unsure what to do, what was meant to happen now. It was all so new and confusing and definitely more than a little bit scary. "This life you lead. Is it fun for you?" He looked deeply into her eyes and tried to convey how important this question was to him. He had to know she was okay.

"Lots of fun." River grinned. "Just you wait and see all the fun we have."

"But being stuck in here… It can't be…" He sighed as he looked around the dull cell they stood in. "I wish there was another way. You should have so much more."

"Oh but I do, sweetie." River smiled gently as she placed her hand on his face, closing the gap between them as the Doctor's breath caught. "All of time and space at my fingertips, wherever and whenever I want."

"We see it all, then?" The Doctor smiled as he placed one hand into her hair and wove it around his fingers gently.

"You bet." She laughed, seeing the relief flood his eyes. "Did you really think I'd let you run off and leave me here?"

"I would never _leave you_." The Doctor replied hotly, his eyes flying to hers.

"Hush, my love. I know." She smiled. "Someone's sensitive today."

"Sorry." He mumbled quickly. "I didn't… I just… Oh. This is hard." He lent forward and rested his forehead on hers. He'd had no choice, he told himself, none at all. The world would have been destroyed otherwise- the entire universe. He'd had to die and she'd had to kill him, to end up here. It was the only way.

"It's a lot easier than the alternatives." She laughed lightly, dismissing his worries instantly.

"But you're in _prison_. For the rest of your life. Just so you could save me. That's who you are. That's what I did to you. All of this. Marrying you, condemning you. It's all my fault." He sighed.

"Excuse me?" River stepped back angrily and looked him straight in the face, eyes blaring. "Do you know me, at all? Do you think I would let anyone, even you, decide on my life for me? I am River Song, Melody Pond. The woman who kills the Doctor and the woman who marries him. But I am so much more than that, and I always will be. I love you dearly and I always will but you do not define me, this place does not define me. Are we clear?" She breathed heavily as she glared at him.

"Yes… Dear." The Doctor said, a small grin spreading across his face. "Perfectly clear." He laughed as he put his arms around her and pulled her close to him, kissing her deeply.

"What was that for?" River smiled as they pulled apart- her anger ebbing away as quickly as it had come.

"Nothing. I just think I'm going to like being married to you." The Doctor smirked, his hands running over her shoulders lightly.

"Oh. You do." River laughed as she put her hand behind his head, pulling him back down so his lips brushed against hers. "You really do."

**Please review. Please? Or I shall be sad. (not to guilt you into it or anything)**


	74. That'll Teach You

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-Four: That'll Teach You

**Disclaimer:** Steven Moffat owns everything and I own nothing. I am getting used to it.

_**Author's Note: Another update, huzzah! No this does not mean you don't have to review the last one. Go back and review it before you read this next part :p This is a younger River/older Doctor one & is set (for River) while she's away becoming a Doctor, & not long after LKH in her timeline , because I don't believe that she wouldn't have seen him at all during that time. Enjoy…**_

"Doctor, where on earth are you taking me?" River laughed as she stepped backwards quickly to allow her newly-almost-boyfriend come long-term-enemy to continue his erratic path around the TARDIS controls as he pushed buttons and pulled levers elaborately.

"Ah, nowhere on earth," he pulled a face of disgust. "That's the whole point Miss Song. All that knowledge in your head and stuck on _earth_- it just doesn't seem right!"

"All right," She sighed as she smiled and rolled her eyes. "I will rephrase: where in the cosmos are you taking me, Doctor? That better?"

"Much." He grinned as he paused to push her nose playfully. "You're a quick learner, I'll give you that! We are going to where every new time traveller must go. The intergalactic-bicenturail-very-importantable-space-and-time-conference."

"Sounds dull." River laughed.

"Dull? Did you just say **dull**? I would never, ever go anywhere even remotely **dull**." The Doctor spat the last word in disgust and stared at River as though she had thoroughly offended him,

"Sorry, sweetie." River laughed. "I'm sure it will be… fascinating!" She smirked at him, eyes twinkling- it was far too easy to wind him up.

"It'll be better than fascinating it'll be… Exuberating, enchanting, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" The Doctor gestured wildly. "We'll name planets, reset suns, settle long-running disputes and… Oh, you'll see!" He finished quickly as the TARDIS jerked to a halt and he ran forward, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards those big blue doors.

"Oh, wow, it's…" River stammered as she looked out. The name really hadn't done it justice. As she gazed in front of her she saw a long table with every creature she could never imagine sitting around it, chatting comfortably as if they were at the most bizarre dinner party ever seen. That, in itself, however, wasn't the amazing thing. The table appeared to be suspended in nothingness and all around it, making up what should have been the rest of the room, appeared to be space itself. Planets, entire solar systems, were dotted around them and kept changing as if on some gigantic, 3D slide show.

"See, I told you." The Doctor laughed at the look of awe on her face as he nudged her playfully with his shoulder. "After you." He held out his arm and gestured forwards, into the space beyond the TARDIS.

"But, I can't. I mean… How do I?" River mumbled as she looked down. There was nothing to support her, no floor she could see. Surely she would just fall.

"Oh it's fine. It's all perception." The Doctor said casually as he leapt out and River let out an involuntary gasp. "See, fine." He laughed as he stood before her, apparently on nothing at all. "Believe there's a floor and there will be one."

"And what if I don't believe hard enough?" River gulped as she looked into the space below.

"I'll catch you." The Doctor smiled as he held out his hand.

"Promise?" River whispered nervously as she placed her hand in his.

"Oh, always." He grinned and she took a big breath, stepping towards him and almost falling into his open arms as she felt the floor appear beneath her. "See, I told you it wasn't that bad."

"This is so weird." River laughed as they walked forwards, towards the table. The planets spun around them and River's head felt like it would spin off.

"Weird, yes. Wonderful also. Definitely not dull." The Doctor laughed as River nodded in agreement. "Now there are lots of different races here and there are a few things you should remember. Important things I have to teach you… The Lipads don't like to be spoke to directly, the Yafalatas only respond to people who speak in rhyming couplets and on no account must you ever, **ever** mention the weather to the Turtlekeys. Very sore subject. You got that?"

"Urm…" River mumbled.

"Good, good. Sit down." The Doctor grinned, pulling out a chair and pushing River gently into it.

"What are they doing?" River gasped as the Doctor sat down beside her. She gazed up at the space above them where a very small creature was suspended in mid-air, arms flailing wildly as a group of older beings pointed up at it.

"Opening ceremony of sorts if I remember correctly. It's custom, on certain planets, to test the way a meeting will go with a young one. They hold it until it's time for the meeting to begin and then they release it and the way in which it falls indicates what shall be discussed. Or something along those lines. I forget the details."

"But that's… Horrible!" She stammered. "What if it gets hurt?"

"Oh. No, no, no." The Doctor said quickly. "It's very safe. Lots of big safety nets and parental consent and other things. They have been doing it for centuries, River. Honestly. It's completely safe."

"I don't care." River hissed. "It's wrong and I'm going to stop them."

"River, no." The Doctor grabbed her arm to stop her standing up. "You can't do that. There are ways and means, proper channels to go through if you want to complain you can't just-"

"Put him down!" River shouted as she shook off the Doctor's hand and stood up abruptly.

"Oh no." The Doctor groaned as he put his head in his hands. "Now they're going to get all offended and there'll be shouting and fighting. I really just wanted one trip without the shouting and the fighting."

"What did you say, young female human one?" A booming voice came down the table and River swallowed quickly.

"I said you need to put him down. Or her. I don't care if it's your custom it's wrong and they could get hurt and there must be easier ways to decide what's going to happen. Like pulling names out of a hat or something. And I'm sorry if I offended you… Well, actually. I'm not. There must be better ways than this and you need to see that!" She said loudly, her voice wavering slightly towards the end. There was an explosion of noise around the table as all the creatures began talking at once.

"Look I'm really sorry, she doesn't know about these customs and she's worried for the safety of the youngster." The Doctor interjected quickly as he stood alongside her. "She didn't mean to offend you, your highness." He shot River a meaningful look but she just stared coldly back at him.

"You disrespect our customs, human one. You do not care about whom you upset or what traditions you break as you march boldly in here." The elder boomed once again.

"Like I said, she really doesn't-" The Doctor began.

"Silence! As I was saying. You clearly show no regard for conforming to the way things have always been done… I think we could use a mind like yours around here." He chuckled slightly. "And you, Time Lord, you could learn a lot from this one." River smirked across at the Doctor as the both sat back down.

"See?" River grinned cheekily as the Doctor shook his head. "That'll teach you."

"Teach me what exactly?" The Doctor snapped grumpily as he folded his arms.

"That I'm always right." River smirked as she leant over to whisper in his ear.

**Reviews are better than bananas. And that's saying something. **


	75. The Whole Night

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-Five: The Whole Night. 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything mentioned below apart from the words the string them together.

_**Author's Note: Thank you ever so much to everyone who read & reviewed the last 2 chapters, it really means a lot to me & to everyone who has stuck with this story for so long. Hope you're all still enjoying it as much as I enjoy writing it! Also sorry for any spelling issues I am on a dodgy old computer that doesn't believe in spell-check. Grrr! Anyway. This is a mid-time instalment. Enjoy...**_

"Oh boys, boys!" River laughed as she sauntered jauntily down the corridor and saw a wall of armed guards running towards her. "I'm coming back, no need to raise the alarm! Honestly, if you paid this much attention to me when I was _in_ my cell you wouldn't have this problem in the first place. Well, you probably would, I'm rather sneaky. But at least you wouldn't feel so guilty about letting me escape so easily." She laughed again, loudly, as the guards skidded to a halt in front of the door to her cell, blocking her from getting any further down the corridor.

"Inside please, Doctor Song." A nervous young guard at the front piped up as he pulled the door open. "Let's not make this any more difficult that it has to be."

"I'm going, I'm going." River sighed as she stepped back into her cell. "Honestly I don't know why you insist on making all this fuss. I always tell you I'll come back, it's as if you don't think I'm a woman of my word." She rolled her eyes as the guards let out a sigh of relief as the lock clanged shut, trapping her once again.

"Goodnight, Doctor Song." The young guard said quietly as they walked away. She didn't respond but threw herself wearily at her bed instead, grabbing her diary and beginning to scrawl before her eyelids became any heavier. Another night, another adventure with the Doctor. He'd picked her up and whisked her off, only minutes she'd been gone from her cell but to her it had been days. Days of running and laughing and kissing. Discovering new worlds and forgetting old pain. They never said goodbye, just a simple kiss as she left the TARDIS and wandered back to her cell. She always knew he'd come back, that the next night he'd be waiting for her as ever, but that didn't make the time in between pass any easier.

"Why so sad, Song?" River jumped as she looked up to see the Doctor smiling, leaning against the wall of her cell.

"Not sad, just thinking." River smiled as she sat up slowly.

"About me?" The Doctor grinned cheekily as he walked across to where she sat.

"Oh always." She laughed as he sat next to her and put his arms around her, pulling her close. "Well this is a pleasure. Two visits in one day, to what do I owe the honour?"

"Just the one visit." The Doctor smiled as he kissed her forehead gently.

"For you, maybe, but I've just come back from a trip to New New (and possibly a few more News) Earth with a different version of you. Only a few minutes ago actually. You need to be careful about crossing your own timeline!" She scolded him gently as she reached up and fiddled with his bowtie absentmindedly, her head resting on his shoulder.

"I don't. It's just the one visit." The Doctor laughed at the look of confusion on her face, it wasn't a look her got to see very often.

"Now this may just be because I'm very, very tired but I really don't understand what you're talking about." River mumbled.

"It's really very simple River, I don't know how you don't get it." He grinned, glad she was too tired to do anything more than slap his arm half-heartedly. "We went away, I dropped you off. I came back. Same me, same you, same visit. See?"

"Okay, I get it." River nodded sleepily. "But why? I mean, it's lovely to see you as ever my love but I'm too tired for anything much tonight. Sorry. Maybe you should come back tomorrow instead when I've had time to sleep?"

"No, I don't want to do anything. Well unless you..." He ran his hand up her thigh slightly and received a stern look in response. "Okay. No. Tired, I understand." He grinned and she laughed as she lent into him, her arms wrapping around his waist. "I just didn't like the idea of you being alone."

"I'm used to it sweetie, you can't stay here with me. Being behind bars doesn't suit you." She laughed. "And it's not like you don't take me away enough. Adventures every night, it's more than anyone could ask for." She lifted her head and kissed him gently.

"Yes, and they're brilliant and wonderful and I wouldn't swap them for anything but after them, after all of them, you have to come back here and spend another night on your own. I don't like that." He scowled at the thought.

"All my other nights are filled with you though." She grinned wickedly and the Doctor felt himself blush slightly. Even now, after all these years, she could still make him blush. "And that more than makes up for these ones."

"That may be true." The Doctor mused as he stroked her hair absentmindedly. "But tonight, just this once, I want to stay here too. Stay for your whole night. If that's okay with you, of course." He finished hurriedly, looking deep into her eyes.

"Sounds wonderful." River grinned as she kissed him lightly before lying down wearily on the bed, finally allowing her heavy eyelids to close.

"Goodnight, River." The Doctor murmured as he lay behind her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to him so they fitted onto her single bed snugly.

"Goodnight, Doctor." River whispered as a smile played on her lips. The Doctor sighed, closing his eyes and breathing in the smell of River, the feel of her hearts beating next to his as they lay perfectly still. Within seconds they both fell asleep, fully clothed and wrapped tightly around each other, their breathing perfectly in-synch and their mouths curled into gentle smiles. Time passed, slowly, normally and without interruption and neither of them stirred until the sunshine warmed their faces through the window late next morning.

**Please take a minute to review! **


	76. Romance Isn't Dead

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-Six: Romance Isn't Dead. 

**Disclaimer:** Oh, I do wish I owned them. Then my life would be infinitely better. But sadly still no.

**_Author's Note: Hi guys! Many many thank yous and cuddles to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, you make me life! Sorry it's been a while, still computerless and supposed to be researching an essay now but thought this was clearly far more important so here we are. I haven't dedicated anything to anyone in a while so this chapter is dedicated to _fishxcustard _who has, in the space of about a week, read and reviewed pretty much everything I've ever written. So thank you for that! This part is one where I imagine River being older and the Doctor still reasonably new but post-TWORS and all that, not that it matters too much. Anyway. Stop rambling Hannah. Enjoy!_**

"Oh but please River." The Doctor moaned as he tugged gently at River's sleeve and pouted, trying his very best to look as much like some kind of small, vulnerable creature as physically possible to get her to change her mind.

"No, Doctor." River sighed heavily as she shrugged off his pull on her arm.

"Just one quick trip, please!" He continued as River sighed and walked away from him, staring out of her window at the grey sky above.

"I said no, will you just drop it?" River snapped impatiently as she rolled her eyes and folded her arms. The Doctor bit his lip anxiously, these were never good signs.

"But why?" He blurted out after a moment or two, unable to keep his silence any longer. "Why, what have I done wrong?" River sighed and looked across at him. He looked so nervous as he stood there fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt that she couldn't help but feel her resolve slip- the most difficult man in the cosmos to remain angry at, that was her husband.

"You haven't done anything, as such, well nothing more than you do every time anyway." River smiled as the Doctor looked, if possible, more confused than ever. "Oh sweetie," she sighed heavily "You know I like adventure as much as the next woman but-"

"Well significantly more than the next woman, probably. Depending on who the next woman should happen to be. I mean if it was..." The Doctor trailed off, catching the look that River was giving him. "Never mind. Carry on."

"Thank you, dear." River grinned patronisingly. "As I was saying- normally I'm the last person to turn down an adventure to some unknown planet or a trip back in time but tomorrow is my parole hearing. The parole hearing that has been cancelled twice because I've been off with you and you got us back too late and we missed it." River scowled at him. "Twice."

"Well who needs a stupid parole hearing anyway?" The Doctor grinned, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat. "It's not like they can keep you in here, you must hold the record for the most times anyone's escaped from a prison."

"Oh I do." River grinned, a slightly note of pride in her voice. "But I also hold the record for the most times anyone's come back. I have to come back, you know that, I always return. And this place isn't the nicest at the best of times but, right now, they treat me well. Weather that's because they are afraid of me, they pity me or they actually like me I'll never know. But believe it or not I get a good deal here at the minute. My own room, no horrid jobs to do, no one bothering me. They could easily take all that away. And they will if I don't go to this meeting tomorrow. So do you understand? I can't take the risk of us not getting back in time."

"I understand." The Doctor said quietly. "I just… forget, I guess."

"What do you forget?" River asked as she stepped towards him, looking into his old eyes.

"The same things I always forget. That people have lives, things to do, places to go and things that they need to achieve. Just a selfish old man, that's me."

"If taking me away from here is selfish you can be as selfish as you like." River laughed as she put her arms around his waist. "And as for me having a life? Well, yes, but I'm in prison so it does tend to not be all that exciting. So don't feel guilty, not over me. But once, just this once, I can't come. Okay?" She kissed him gently and he nodded sadly.

"Stay here then!" The Doctor announced suddenly as he jumped slightly and began to run towards the TARDIS leaving River looking utterly confused. "Stay here and close your eyes, just for a minute- okay?"

"Okay..." River mumbled dubiously as she sat down on her bed and closed her eyes hesitantly. She heard the unmistakable whir of the TARDIS disappearing and then reappearing a few seconds later and then a series of loud bangs and crashes that made her jump with anxiety. "Doctor what are you doing?" She shouted over the din.

"Just a few more minutes!" The Doctor panted. "Keep your eyes shut River!" He shouted as she dared to open them just a millimetre.

"Fine, fine." She muttered sulkily as she lent back against the cold wall.

"There we go... Finished!" The Doctor cried happily. "You can look now." He walked over to her, beaming, and gestured behind him. He had re-created, in the middle of her cell, what looked like a table from outside a cafe. Tall black, metal chairs, a round table covered with a red and white checked cloth, a bottle of champagne, plates full of food and, of course, a single rose in a vase in the middle of it all. "Well, what do you think?" He grinned as he led her by the hand and guided her to her chair.

"Where did all this come from?" River asked, mouth still open in shock.

"Oh you know, girl I know works in a cafe in Paris. She owed me a favour." He laughed as he sat opposite her.

"Oh I bet she did." River laughed throatily as the Doctor turned a delicate shade of red.

"Not like that, River." He hissed quickly.

"Of course not." She grinned. "Well thank you, it's wonderful."

"It is, isn't it?" The Doctor smiled as he lent over to pour her a glass of champagne. "Well I bet none of you other boyfriends ever did this, did they?" He announced proudly.

"Well no, not exactly." River laughed. "But then I was never in prison for any of their murders so they were able to just take me out to restaurants whenever they wanted."

"Oh... Right..." The Doctor looked slightly crestfallen as he placed the bottle back on the table and began to pick at the food on his plate.

"Oh sweetie, I didn't mean it like that." River said quickly as she reached over to squeeze his hand. "This is far more romantic, it's wonderful. Really."

"Okay." The Doctor said quietly as he refused to meet River's eyes and carried on eating quietly.

"I'm sorry, my love." River said quietly. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Upset me? Of course not." The Doctor said in an all-too-cheerful voice. "Never upset, not me. So how many of these restaurant-taking boyfriends have you had, just out of curiosity?"

"Oh no, let's not have this conversation." River groaned as she rubbed her head.

"What conversation?" The Doctor asked in confusion.

"The 'how many people have you...' conversation." River said through gritted teeth.

"How many people have you what?" The Doctor pressed, his brow furrowed.

"Oh don't make me spell it out. I do hate to make you blush." River shook her head lightly. "Think about what you were asking."

"About boyfriends?" He mused quietly. "And so you mean... Oh. Right. Kissing and... things." He coughed quickly.

"Yes. Exactly. I really don't want to have the talk about kissing... and things, if that's okay with you?" She smiled hopefully at him.

"Why have you kissed a lot of people?" The Doctor asked nervously and River put her head on the table and sighed.

"There were a few. Not a lot. But a few. When I was younger." River said quickly as she looked away, not wanting to see any pain or shock in his eyes. "But it was different then. I was Mels and I was different, whole different me. In fact..." River smiled as she realised something. "You're the only one I've... y'know kissed in this regeneration. Unless we count when I was using the lipstick and that-"

"No. We won't count that." The Doctor laughed quickly and River grinned. "The only one? Really?" She nodded and he beamed across at her. "I supposed you're the only one I've kissed in this regeneration too. Unless you count when your mother-"

"We are definitely not counting that!" River laughed loudly as the Doctor looked sheepish. "In fact I think we can just not even mention that. Look at us. Sitting in my cell drinking champagne, eating French food and talking about you snogging my mother. Only with you my darling."

"Only with you, more like." The Doctor grinned.

"And who said romance is dead?" River smirked as she held his hands tightly across the table.

"Oh I do love you, River Song." He laughed lightly.

"And I love you sweetie."

**Please review. Thanks!**


	77. Blackout

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-Seven: Blackout

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own it guys.

_**Author's Note: Many, many thanks to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter and also to everyone who has dedicated days of their lives to reading the entire back-catalogue of this. You really rock! And it's lovely to know that the older parts still stand up despite their non-canonness (yes that's a word, I just made it up). Anyways. Sorry for the delay it's got to that time where I'm expected to do essays and work and stuff. Urgh. But here is an update, it's an older River/younger Doctor one. Enjoy... **_

"River!" The Doctor called angrily from the control room. "River Song get in here now!"

"Yes sweetie?" River sighed heavily as she padded down the corridor towards the source of the noise. "What's wrong? And why is it so dark down here?"

"Why is it...?" The Doctor spluttered as he turned to try to see where River was standing. "That was what **I **was going to ask **you**! What have you done to my TARDIS and when are you going to fix it?"

"Oh, of course." River laughed as she rolled her eyes. "You do something wrong and naturally assume it's my fault."

"I...? I didn't do anything! I have been flying the TARDIS since before you were born-"

"Badly, yes, but carry on." River grinned.

"Oh you are just so..." He muttered quietly as he hit random buttons in an attempt to restore light to the area. "I have been doing this for _hundreds _of years and nothing like this has ever happened before and then suddenly you turn up and the lights go out-"

"Which is probably because you short-circuited it because you were too distracted thinking about what I was doing here to concentrate on what you were pushing." River laughed softly as she stepped gingerly towards where the Doctor was pacing.

"River, if you don't start being more helpful then I'll-"

"You'll _what_, sweetie?" River purred.

"Well I'll have to... Just, you know... Oh this is ridiculous!" He sighed as he stopped pacing and hitting buttons. "I can't even see you."

"I'm right here, my love." River whispered as she stepped in front of him and placed her hand on his arm, trying not to laugh as he jumped slightly.

"Right. Good." He coughed, trying to cover his embarrassment. "So you think you know what's gone wrong with the TARDIS?"

"What you've done wrong, you mean?" River smirked.

"What's gone wrong. Yes." The Doctor repeated stiffly.

"I do know what you've done wrong, yes." She laughed gently as she could sense, even through the darkness, that he was scowling in annoyance at her. And there were few things as much fun as annoying the Doctor.

"So..." He said, trying to sound casual. "Can you fix it? I mean... I could fix it, of course, I can fix anything. But I thought you might like a chance you, you know, show of those skills you always say you have."

"Oh I have skills, just you wait and see." River grinned as she stroked his arm lightly, feeling him shudder under her touch.

"So can you fix it?" The Doctor asked, swallowing quickly.

"I can yes." River smirked.

"Oh that's great." The Doctor sighed, relieved. "So if you could just-"

"**But **I won't." She cut across him.

"You... You won't?" He stammered.

"Nope." She said simply, grinning.

"But why not?" The Doctor yelled. "That is just so completely unhelpful, mean, rude and just-" He stopped quickly because he felt River's lips brush against his and momentarily forgot how to or why he was speaking.

"Just say there, you'll see." River laughed as she turned and walked away.

The Doctor folded his arms, huffing to himself and shaking his head slightly as he heard her footsteps fade. The darkness surrounded him and it felt like hours before he heard soft music begin to play from all around him and saw a vague glow come towards him from the far corridor. He felt his curiosity overcome his anger at River as he strained to see what was coming his way. Eventually he saw her outline walking slowly towards him, her arms full of candles in holders of various shapes and sizes, glowing and filling the room with a soft, flickering light as she placed them down.

"See, isn't this much better?" River grinned as she stood in front of him, the golden light bouncing off her curls and making her look almost angelic. The Doctor grinned broadly at the idea of River being in any way angelic.

"It's... Nice, yes." The Doctor smiled as he looked around.

"Only nice?" River grinned as she stepped closer to him, watching the way his eyes grew bigger as she did.

"Very nice. Lovely, even." He murmured as he gazed at her.

"Damn, I was going for romantic." River laughed throatily as she stroked his face softly.

"Romantic. Yes. Definitely." He stuttered as she lent in and kissed him lightly. "So do we do this often?"

"Do what?" River smirked.

"You know, with the darkness and the candles and the _romance_." The Doctor blushed.

"Oh yes." River winked slightly. "But normally with far more candles and far less clothes." She laughed as the Doctor stuttered. "Now don't be coy sweetie, I know it's not _that_ early for you."

"No. I suppose not." The Doctor felt himself blush deeper as he remembered the last time he'd been alone with River. "But still, always good to hear."

"So I'm excused for giving away spoilers am I?" River murmured as she laced her arms around his neck.

"Just this once, I suppose." The Doctor laughed, pulling her closer. "Those kind of spoilers I like."

**Please Review. **


	78. That Don't Impress Me Much

Not One For The Diary

Memory Seventy-Eight: That Don't Impress Me Much

**Disclaimer:** I am nothing, the Moff and Beeb are all mighty.

**_Author's Note: Sorry it's been a while guys, hope you're all still with me! Uni work has been a bit manic but I have two weeks until my next presentation for which _I_ read: a week and a half to write fanfic and then half a week to panic and try to do work ;) A million thanks, as ever, to everyone who's reviewed the last chapter. You make it all better! This is an earlier Doctor/older River episode. Yes it is. Enjoy..._**

"Niagara Falls!" The Doctor announced enthusiastically as he sat up quickly, almost sending River flying as she lay across his lap.

"Of course." River sighed, rolling her eyes as she settled back into her original position.

"The American Civil war!" The Doctor grinned, nudging her in the back with his leg.

"Oh, come on, two years ago." River laughed.

"The great wall of China?" He asked gingerly, his smile faltering slightly.

"Where do you think all those bricks in my cell came from?" River smiled up at him as he twisted his fingers into her hair and frowned in concentration.

"The colony on the second moon of Jupiter, there's no way you could have-"

"Oh Shelia and Marcus! They are adorable. How are they doing these days?" She smirked as she heard him growl slightly in annoyance.

"You can't have been _everywhere_ River. It's impossible." The Doctor mumbled, pushing his bottom lip out as he did.

"Well of course I haven't been _everywhere_ sweetie, that would be silly." River laughed again and The Doctor rolled his eyes. "But I have travelled a lot. I've seen a lot of the tourist attractions; you have to work a bit harder to impress me."

"And who says I'm trying to impress you?" The Doctor quipped quickly, trying his best to sound offended.

"Oh you don't need to say it." River grinned, raising an eyebrow as she snuggled closer into his lap. "I can just tell."

"Oh you can, can you?" The Doctor laughed as he lent back against the TARDIS wall, enjoying the feel of her close to him.

"Of course. Call it woman's intuition." River smiled as she closed her eyes, it had been a long day and she was on the verge of falling asleep right there on the floor.

"So, theoretically, if I was trying to impress you, where would I have to take you? Not that I am. You understand." The Doctor finished hurriedly.

"Hmm, nothing flashy. We've done all that-"

"All of it?" He grinned.

"Yep. All of it." She mumbled sleepily, her eyes hardly staying open as her hands settled contentedly around his waist.

"But there must be something..." He whispered quietly.

"I suppose there's something..." She spoke slowly, stifling a yawn as she did. "But it's silly. Just a silly girl's idea."

"Tell me." He pleaded gently as he stroked her face.

"No. It's silly. You'd laugh." She smiled.

"Well anything that makes me laugh is definitely worth saying." The Doctor grinned.

"Fireworks." She whispered, her words barely audible as her eyes fell closed. "I've always wanted to kiss under fireworks... Told you it was silly... Too many cheesy films in prison..."

"Fireworks River? All of time and space and you want fireworks?" He grinned as he glanced down at her and noticed her breathing becoming more rhythmic. "River, are you awake?" He whispered but got no response: she was asleep.

XoxoxoxoX

"River?" The Doctor called gently as he crouched down beside her, shaking her shoulder slightly to wake her. "River, come on. It's time to get up."

"I'm up. I'm up." River muttered thickly as she rubbed her eyes and looked about her with bleary eyes. "I slept on the _floor?_ I didn't realise I was that tired!" River laughed as she sat herself up and stretched.

"You were only out for a few hours. I was going to let you sleep for longer but... Well, I have something to show you."

"And, let me guess, you just couldn't wait?" River laughed as he extended his hand to her and she pulled herself up.

"Of course not!" The Doctor grinned, bouncing slightly. "Come on, let's go." He squeezed her hand, pulling her forwards through the TARDIS doors.

"Wow, is that...?" River gasped as they stepped outside and she looked up. "Are those _fireworks_?" Her eyes widened as she gazed into the inky black sky where colours exploded over and over again, filling every spare inch of space for as far as you could see.

"Not exactly." The Doctor smiled. "This is Hakimaj, the planet of colour. The atmosphere acts almost like a prism and every particle of light that touches it is broken into colours and explodes as it hits the other ones, creating this effect. Our very own fireworks display all day, every day. For as long as you want it. And the colours are so bright that when you close your eyes they stay behind your eyelids for a good minute, try it. Go on." He smirked at River as she laughed and closed her eyes. She gasped slightly at the sight she saw and the Doctor took this as his opportunity to lean in and kiss her gently, his tongue dancing across her lips as her arms entwined themselves around him.

"Wow." She whispered softly as they broke apart.

"So then, River Song, tell me- have I impressed you yet?" The Doctor smirked.

"I don't know..." She muttered coyly and saw his face fall for a fraction of a second. "You might have to do it again so I can make sure."

"You are terrible." He laughed as he lent in to kiss her again, the colours exploding all around them.

**Please review. Or send me a TARDIS with River song in. Either or. **


	79. Fancy Seeing You Here

Not One For The Diary.

Memory Seventy-Nine: Fancy Seeing You Here.

**Disclaimer:** I owns it not, do not sue me.

_**Author's Note: Hello sweeties, here we are again. Many thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter or has favourited the story, it really means so much to me. Updates might be slightly more sporadic for a while because I'm writing a new story ("Once Upon A Time"- check it out *cough* shamelesplug *cough*) but I will continue updating this one, of course! This chapter is in response to a prompt from the lovely Claudia and it's an older River/younger Doctor one. Enjoy...**_

The Doctor sighed deeply as he stepped out of the TARDIS and looked around at the green woodlands that surrounded him. This was just what he needed. This was rest and relaxation and sunshine and two days of countryside and jammy dodgers and talking to people in the village shop and... Singing. Why was there singing? There should be no singing at his top-secret holiday home retreat.

"Hello?" He called anxiously as he wandered up the path towards the back gate of the little cottage he liked to escape to every few hundred years. After all, everyone needed a holiday now and again.

"Hello, sweetie!" A voice called from the garden and the Doctor lent one hand on the gate and groaned. River. Of course.

"What are you doing here?" The Doctor asked sharply as he pushed open the gate and walked forward to meet her. It wasn't that he didn't want to see her, not at all, but the concept of a relaxing weekend and River Song didn't exactly mix well.

"What do you think?" River laughed as she placed the basket of washing she was holding down on the floor and looked levelly at him. "I'm having a holiday. Prison gets slightly wearing after a while and I thought I deserved a break."

"But how do you know about this place?" The Doctor gasped in shock as he looked from his cottage, to River and back to the cottage. He just couldn't make sense of it.

"Well I didn't just follow you here and steal the key off you if that's what you were wondering." River rolled her eyes as she lent down and began to hang the washing on the line, ignoring the Doctor's spluttered protests.

"I didn't mean... Well I just..." He coughed slightly. This woman was so damn _difficult._ She just showed up, knowing everything, and he had to try to fit all the pieces into place. And it hurt his head to try to even work out where to start. "I haven't told anyone about this place. I mean, not _anyone._"

"And I, sweetie, am not _anyone_." River grinned and the Doctor gulped, blinking quickly. He tried not to remember when he'd first heard her utter those words because it made him realise that every time he'd met her since he'd been questioning her, testing her, when she'd done nothing but prove that one day she would be someone so very important to him.

"Oh yes, I figured that out." The Doctor laughed as he tried to push all his doubts out of his head, just for once.

"Well that's something." River grinned as she bent down to pick up another load of washing and the Doctor tried very hard to look anywhere that wasn't at her very low-cut top but for some reason his eyes seemed to have stopped listening to his brain a fair few sentences ago. "Now stop staring and come and help me put this washing out."

"I wasn't staring." The Doctor mumbled quietly as he stumbled forwards to River's side, turning a bright shade of red as he did.

"Of course you weren't sweetie." River patted his arm gently as she raised one eyebrow. "Now hang these out for me." She grinned as she thrust an armful of clothes into his chest before he could protest.

"Fine." The Doctor mumbled grumpily as he moved his arms awkwardly to put one of her tops on the line and secure it with pegs delicately. "But I hope you don't expect to just turn up here whenever you want and hang out your... River!" He gasped quickly, dropping the washing he was holding in alarm.

"What is it?" River turned to him, her face full of concern and all trace of teasing wiped from it. "What's wrong Doctor?"

"River there are... You gave me..." He gulped as he pointed at the pile of washing that lay on the floor. "Those are your..."

"My what, sweetie?" River's smile crept back onto her face now she realised there was no real danger.

"Your... _Knickers._" The Doctor whispered as he turned a deeper shade of red.

"Oh, really, my love." River chuckled as she bent down to retrieve the offending article of clothing. "You can't tell me you've never seen a pair of women's knickers before, not in all your long years."

"Well, yes, I have. I mean of course I have." The Doctor coughed as he looked away from River's gaze. "Lots of times, loads. But they aren't usually quite so... _lacy._"

"Ah well in that case you're going to have lots of fun in the near future." River chuckled as she hung her knickers proudly on the washing line.

"Why, do you... urm... Always wear lacy knickers?" The Doctor grinned across at her, trying to sound braver than he felt right now.

"Oh no, sweetie." River smirked as she saw the Doctor's face fall slightly. "Sometimes I don't wear any knickers at all." She winked as she turned and skipped off back to the cottage leaving the Doctor staring after her. He had no hope at all of a quiet weekend, he thought, but it was definitely going to be a lot of fun.

**Please review, it would mean ever so much to me.**


	80. Don't You Dare

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty: Don't You Dare

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it- wish I did.

Author's Note: Thank you ever so much to everyone who has reviewed this story, for those of you who've been with me from the beginning and those who sit down and read it all in one go. You really have no idea how much it means to me, whenever I get a review it makes my day! This is a relatively young River to an older Doctor- enjoy…

"River, can ask you something?" The Doctor smiled as he flung himself down on the bed next to where River lay quietly writing in her diary.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times sweetie." River sighed as she snapped her diary shut. "No, you cannot wear my knickers. You will stretch them and they'll be useless to me afterwards. If you really want to wear some then I suggest you buy your own."

"I… But I don't… I never…" The Doctor stammered as he glanced over at River who was trying to suppress a grin that threatened to over-take her face. "Are you being serious?"

"Serious? Me?" River laughed. "Not if I can help it!"

"So then I never really…" He swallowed quickly as he glanced down at where River's trousers finished and a thin line of lace was showing above them.

"Well, now, I never said that either." She chuckled as the Doctor threw his head back onto the pillow and sighed.

"You are the most frustrating woman I have ever met." He groaned as he closed his eyes.

"Oh of course. But if I wasn't you wouldn't love me nearly as much." She poked him in the side lightly and he opened one eye grudgingly to see her grinning at him.

"Possibly. But it would make it a lot easier when I want to have an actual conversation with you." The Doctor announced through gritted teeth.

"A conversation? Really?" River smiled wickedly as she flipped herself onto her side and ran her hand up his leg lightly. "I'm sure I can think of better things we could be doing alone, in a bed together…"

"River." He sighed deeply as he turned onto his side, looking deep into her eyes as his hands tangled in her hair. "Do you have to make this so difficult?"

"I'm sorry." She smiled softly as she lent in to kiss him. "What did you want to ask me?

"Finally" He breathed a sigh of relief as she laughed. "Well I waned to ask you…I mean I've been wanting to ask you for a long time, maybe even as long as I've known you-"

"Spit it out sweetie." River grinned.

"Sorry, yes." The Doctor stammered. "I just wanted to ask… Would you change it? Would you change any of it?"

"We can't. You know as well as I do everything that happens between us has to happen jus the way it did, the way it always must do." She smiled almost sadly.

"Time can be rewritten." He blurted out and almost immediately regretted it as he saw the smug look on River's face. He hadn't meant to quote her, to replay a conversation they'd had before, twice for him and once for her, but he couldn't help it. It felt like their lives were on a constant loop- some circle when things never began because they never truly ended. And vice versa.

"Don't you dare." She smiled as she pushed his nose gently with each word. He knew she was teasing him, mocking him with his own words, and that he really should laugh with her at the fact they had once again taken on opposite roles to the ones they started with but he couldn't bring himself to because part of him was still remembering, still re-living, the first time he heard those words fall from her mouth. The last time she'd ever say them.

"Could you please humour me, just this once." He smiled, swallowing the lump in his throat and trying to swallow all the feelings that seemed to be attached to it.

"Oh all right them." River laughed lightly as she ran a hand carelessly through his hair.

"So, imaging we could change things," the Doctor re-worded pointedly. "Would you?"

"No." River stated simply, looking her husband squarely in the eye.

"No?" He repeated, baffled. "Not one thing? Nothing at all?"

"No, sweetie, I wouldn't change a thing." River smiled almost shyly.

"But think about it, I mean really think about it, you could have a whole normal life. Living with your parents, having a childhood free from monsters-"

"I know what I said." River cut him off quickly, stroking his face. "And I meant it. There is nothing I would change, not if it meant changing this." She leant in and kissed him lightly, a sincere look on her face. He opened his mouth to speak but it felt like there was some kind of obstruction in his throat so he just smiled and kissed her again.

"Hey." He gasped as he broke apart. "Does this mean you'd choose to kill me again?"

"Oh of, course." River laughed. "Every time!" She grinned at the look of confusion on his face before continuing. "If I hadn't killed you I never would have saved you, never had the chance to become River. I'd be Melody forever." She shuddered slightly at the thought.

"But you'd have your regenerations still, you'd be able to be with me forever." He muttered sadly.

"Oh well, you know what they say." River chirped, trying to lighten the mood. "You can have too much of a good thing. That's me. Short and sweet."

"What are you talking about? Who even says that River?" The Doctor snapped angrily, glaring at her. Daring her to snap back because he would rather argue, rather shout and scream, than try to deal with how he was feeling right now.

"People, I guess." River smiled sadly. "Stupid humans with their stupid sayings for every occasion. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what anyone says. This is how it has to be- how it always will be."

"But what if we could-"

"Shh my love." River whispered gently, pressing a finger to his lips. "We can spend the rest of my life wishing we had more time or we can spend the rest of it forgetting there's a tomorrow. What will it be?"

"Have I told you you're far too smart?" The Doctor smiled as he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms firmly around her as they fell backwards.

"Not for at least an hour." River smirked and he laughed. She was right, she was always right. Nothing last forever but anything can be amazing while it lasts- if you want it to be. And he did.

**Please review. **


	81. A Million Love Songs

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-One: A Million Love Songs

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Doctor Who or Take That. If I did I would be very rich and pay Matt and Alex a lot of money to film some very adult Doctor Who scenes. Yes I would.

**Author's Note: Another big thankyou, as ever, to all you wonderful people who take the time to review each part of this. I adore you all. This part was inspired by a very long car journey listening to Take That live and going off into my own little dream world. This one is with a younger River, a few years into her sentence. Enjoy…**

"So sweetie, where are we off to today?" River asked happily as she skipped into the open TARDIS doors, leaving her dreary cell behind her.

"Wherever and whenever you want River Song, as always." The Doctor bowed elaborately as he waved River to the control panel.

"Well of course. But you do have something special planned for today, don't you?" River stopped quickly as she turned to stare at him through narrow eyes.

"Well… Urm, yes. Of course I do." The Doctor coughed nervously as he scratched at the back of his head. "Of course. I mean I wouldn't forget a thing like that would I? Not today on the very special day that it is with-"

"You don't have a clue what to day is, do you?" River interrupted, her lip curling into a smile despite her attempts to stop it.

"Not a single clue." The Doctor sighed, relived that there was minimal shouting and angry facial expressions so far. "Sorry." He added quickly.

"It's our anniversary. You know, our wedding anniversary." River rolled her eyes.

"Oh right, of course it is!" The Doctor groaned as he hit himself hard on the head.

"Our anniversary that you forgot last year when we ended up being attacked by those Cybermen and you promised you would make up for this year." River continued pointedly.

"Yes, yes. That anniversary." He shuddered slightly at the memory. "I am sorry River, really I am. What do you want to do? Paris? New York? The mountains of Gemina Seven? They are quite a sight in winter! Or we could-"

"What I'd really like." River cut across quickly as she stepped closer to him. "Is for you to tell me how you feel about me. Just for once. For our anniversary."

"River," The Doctor sighed as he pulled her close to him, resting his forehead against hers gently. "You know how I feel about you."

"I do, yes." She smiled as she ran her hands through her hair. "Always have. But it would be nice, just once in a while, to hear you say it."

"I do say it!" The Doctor replied indignantly as he pulled back to look her squarely in the eyes.

"Not yet, not to me." River smiled sadly. "Well not since that first day… But I wasn't really me then. It wasn't me you were talking to, just a future version of myself I hadn't become. And I'm her now, right?" Her voice wavered slightly and she bit down hard on her lip, angry at her emotions betraying her.

"Oh River, River." He pulled her roughly towards him and kissed her hard- trying to put all the emotions, all the things he found so damn hard to say, into that one kiss. "Of course you are. You've always been her even when you didn't know you were."

"So tell me." She laughed.

"I will. It's just I-"

"I'll start you off." She stared at him, a playful grin lighting up her face once again. "River Song I…"

"River Song, I…" He breathed deeply, staring hard at her. "You are so… I mean I really do…"

"I'm wonderful and you love me very much." River sighed as she lent in and placed a light kiss on his lips. "I know."

"You are, and I do." He smiled slightly but the anger he felt towards himself refused to go away. It shouldn't be this difficult to tell her how he felt but even now, after all they'd been through, it still caught in his throat. "But I should be able to say it properly, the way you deserve to hear it."

"It's fine. I know someday it'll happen." She grinned as she linked her arm through his. "So where are we off to? The mountains of where?"

"Actually, I have a better idea!" The Doctor grinned as he wriggled out of her grasp and began hitting the controls in that seemingly random manner he always managed to adopt. "I can't believe I forgot about this!"

"Where are we going?" River called as she felt the TARDIS shudder under her feet.

"Oh you'll see!" The Doctor laughed as they came to an abrupt halt, the breaks screeching as they did. "Here we go. After you, madam…" He winked as he bounded over to the doors and pulled them open for River to walk through.

"Are we at a concert?" River shrieked as she stepped out into a wall of noise, instinctively covering her ears against the din.

"What gave it away?" The Doctor shouted back as he pulled her hands back down to her side. "Take That reunion tour, 2011."

"You are kidding me, right?" River laughed.

"Would I kid about this?" The Doctor smirked.

"You're a Take That fan?" She sniggered.

"Well, of course!" The Doctor replied in shock. "What's their not to like? Great lyrics, catchy tunes, wonderful dance routines and they're lovely blokes as well. Now shush." He placed a finger on her lips as she went to speak. "The song's coming on."

"What song?" River asked as she pushed his hand away.

"Well if you listen, you'll find out." The Doctor grinned knowingly.

The crowd around the began to scream even louder as the first few notes came from the piano and as the saxophone kicked in the volume increased even more to the level River was tempted to put her hands back over her ears to block out the screaming women surrounding her.

"Put your head against my life

What do you hear  
>A million words just trying to make<br>The love song of the year  
>Close your eyes but don't forget<br>What you have heard  
>A man who's trying to say three words<br>The words that make me scared."

The man behind the piano crooned softly and River felt herself smile as the Doctor put his arm around her waist and began to sway, his free hand waving in the air with the rest of the crowd.

"A million love songs later  
>And here I am trying to tell you that I care<br>A million love songs later  
>And here I am<br>Looking to the future now  
>This is what I see<br>A million chances pass me by  
>A million chances to hold you<br>Take me back, take me back  
>To where I used to be<br>To hide away from all my truth  
>Through the light I see<br>A million love songs later  
>And here I am trying to tell you that I care<br>A million love songs later  
>And here I am."<p>

The song finished and the crowd around them began to go wild once again. River clapped politely as the Doctor beamed at her.

"Well?" He grinned broadly. "There you go!"

"Thank you sweetie, that was very nice. I see what you were trying to get at." She smiled as she placed a light kiss on his cheek.

"See what I… Nice?" The Doctor blustered. "River! I wrote that for you to try to show you how I feel!"

"You expect me to believe you wrote one of Take That's most famous hits for me?" River stared coolly at him.

"Well… Yes! Because I did!" He replied indignantly.

"Of course you did my love." River grinned patronisingly.

"Right. You stay right there." The Doctor growled as he turned and marched back into the TARDIS.

"And that," The lead singer announced into the microphone. "Is dedicated to River Song- the inspiration behind this song! My co-writer informs me you're attending tonight so I hope you enjoyed that." River spun around quickly as she heard the TARDIS materialise behind her once again and stared open-mouthed as the Doctor stood there leaning against the doorframe and smirking at her in that maddening way only he could manage.

"Any time you want to apologise is fine." He grinned.

"Well I… But I mean I…" River stammered as she walked back towards him.

"Occasionally I have a way with words." He laughed as he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside. "And they really are lovely blokes, very helpful."

"Well I know but still I-"

"Oh do shut up." The Doctor grinned as he lent across and kissed her hard. "I do love you, you know." He whispered softly as they broke apart.

"Oh I know sweetie." River grinned as she pushed the TARDIS door firmly shut. "I know."

**Please review! Thanksies. **


	82. Two's Company

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-Two: Two's Company.

**Disclaimer:** I am not the owner of these two wonderful characters, Steven Moffat is the brains behind the operations.

**Author's Note: So many apologies for my long absence from here. I have had no internet connection for a month or so (and still have none, grr. Thank goodness for my mother's internet) and about a million essays I have to do which does not equate to great writingness. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed the past chapter- it means ever so much to me. And so, on with the show…**

"River!" The Doctor called anxiously as he stumbled from the TARDIS into the barren desert-like land that lay before him. "River, where are you?" He spluttered again as the dust caught in his mouth.

"Doctor?" He heard her call faintly from somewhere beyond the cloud of dust. "Is that really you?"

"Well of course it's me, who did you expect- the Easter Bunny?" He grinned as he walked gingerly forward. "I mean I'm sure he'd have come too if you called but as it is you'll have to settle for me just this once… If I can ever find you that is… Where are you River?" He sighed in frustration as he waved his hand in front of him, trying to see through the thick dust cloud.

"Here." She laughed as the Doctor jumped as he felt a soft hand close gently around his own and pull him forward. "See?"

"Well, I do now." He grinned as he stepped through the dust and saw her properly for the first time.

"And I do too." She laughed lightly as her hand tightened around his and her smile grew wide. He looked at her, looked properly at her, and realised just how young she was. This had to be so very near the beginning for her, they could not long have been married. It had been a very long time since he'd seen her so young.

"Well what is it I can do for you today, my dearest River Song?" He bent to kiss her hand and she laughed lightly. "Now that we can see eye to eye, so to speak."

"I have been looking for you for a very, very long time." She almost whispered as her eyes raked over him hungrily. However long it had been for him it must have been, he thought, much, much longer for her. So young still and yet those eyes looked like they had been waiting forever just to glance at him.

"And here I am." He chuckled as he waved his hands elaborately, trying to do anything to distract himself from the way she was staring at him with such ferocity. "So how may I be of service to you?"

"Service?" She laughed again. "I don't understand."

"Well I assume you called me here for some reason other than just to look at my face. Although it is a very nice face, so I can't say I'd blame you if you-"

"Doctor!" River grinned. "You do talk some nonsense."

"Well of course. But again I don't think that's why you called me."

"You keep saying that. I didn't call you at all." River frowned slightly.

"Of course you did, it was you, same as always." The Doctor sighed, confused at why this was so difficult or what game she was trying to play.

"But I don't, I mean I've never-" She stammered.

"River where are we?" The Doctor cut across firmly.

"Well…" She looked about in confusion at his blunt question. "We're here in the Sanharia Desert on The Third moon of Luci in the rotation-"

"No, no. I know that. But I mean where are we with _us_?" He smiled gently.

"Us? Well I mean we're urm…" She flustered slightly as she searched for the words.

"Okay, never mind. Let's do diaries." The doctor said as he pulled his diary elaborately from one of his many pockets.

"Diaries?" River repeated blankly as she stared at the little book in his hand.

"Jesus River, how young are you?" He gulped as he quickly put the book out of sight and stepped closer, staring intently at her face as if seeing it for the first time.

"Old enough." She smirked as she ran her hand up his arm.

"Very funny." He scowled, slapping her hand away. "When did we… I mean have you…" He growled, trying to work out how to obtain her age without giving away any damn spoilers. "What exactly are you doing here?"

"It's a dig." She shrugged. "Case study."

"You're still at university?" The Doctor spluttered.

"Of course I am!" River laughed at his confusion.

"But that means you're not, and we haven't, so you don't…" He shook his head quickly, trying to clear his thoughts. "How did you manage to call me?"

"I keep telling you, I haven't!" River sighed.

"So why am I-"

"Sweetie, I need you!" A voice called from behind the Doctor and he spun around quickly to try to locate the source of the voice and the gunfire that appeared to be following it.

"But you… And you…" The Doctor stammered, looking back and forward rapidly.

"Sweetie?" River coughed as she folded her arms and raised an eyebrow quickly.

"Sweetie! Any time today!" The other voice called as it came closer and the Doctor finally saw her in the distance. Another River. Just what he needed right now.

"I'm coming!" He called back hesitantly as he looked across at his younger River apologetically.

"That's what you always say!" The new River grinned as she glanced across at the couple.

"And where do you two think you're going?" The younger River pouted jealously as she watched the Doctor pull out his sonic screwdriver and stand at her older self's side.

"Sorry, gotta go." The older River smiled across to the woman she remembered being. "There's a big nasty coming after me and it's not going to wait while we have a lovely little chat about our feelings."

"But tell me," She asked quickly to their retreating backs. "Do I see him again soon?"

"Oh sweetie." River smiled across at herself with an expression far softer than she normally wore coating her face. "Spoilers."

**Got a minute to review? That would be brilliant! **


	83. Five Minute Warning

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-Three: Five Minute Warning.

**Disclaimer:** If I've told you once, I've told you 82 time… I don't own this. Stop asking.

**Author's Note: Well hello me little munchkins. I have internet again, rejoice! Hope you've not all forgotten me in my long time away. As ever my undying gratitude goes out to those of you who review and favourite my lil ol story. It makes me happy. This is an older River/younger Doctor situation but post-TWORS so they all really know what's going on. Enjoy…**

"Sweetie," River called softly as she glanced across at him, trying not to raise her voice or panic anyone. They were all sitting there so nicely, just lounging on the floor of the TARDIS eating pizza out of the box and laughing- she didn't want to spoil that over what could possibly be nothing.

"Yes, sweetie?" The Doctor grinned back at her, raising an eyebrow cheekily as a trail of cheese dangled between his lips and the slice of pizza that hung limply from his hand.

"Did you hear that?" She asked quietly as she nodded towards the console, eyes wide as she tried to communicate what she'd heard without speaking.

"Hear what?" He replied quickly, his brow furrowed slightly with confusion.

"There was a voice… I'm sure I heard a voice." River muttered her response as her eyes darted quickly around the room, trying to spot any potential danger.

"Oh that." The Doctor smiled in relief. "That won't be anything. The TARDIS makes a lot of strange sounds, sometimes it sounds like it's talking, it'll be nothing- you mark my words!"

"But I'm sure I heard it say-"

"It'll be nothing River." He cut across smugly. "If there was something wrong with the TARDIS I would know, trust me."

River opened her mouth to argue, to push the point that she was _sure_ she'd heard something but quickly she decided against it. That man was so stubborn, so convinced he knew what was right even when all the facts were pointing in the opposite direction that it didn't seem worth pushing the issue right now. Instead she just rolled her eyes and sat back, watching the conversation revolve around her and waiting for the moment when she would, once again, be proved right.

XoxoxoX

"What was that?" Amy asked abruptly as she sat up a moment later.

"What was what?" Rory replied in alarm as his eyes darted across the room and his hand inadvertently reached for where he once kept his sword, all those years ago.

"That voice. There was a voice." Amy said quickly. "Someone else heard that, right?"

"What did it say?" River asked calmly as she leaned forward

"Well it said, I mean… I think it said…"

"What, what did it say?" Rory stammered as they both stared intently at Amy. The whole atmosphere had changed in a split-second the way it only could when you were around the Doctor. One minute you were eating pizza laughing about how your wife thought you were gay and the next minute you were in mortal danger. That's how quickly it could happen.

"It said: four minutes." Amy gulped and everyone turned quickly to look at the Doctor for an explanation.

"Well that could be any number of things." He announced airily as he waved his hands around. "Many millions of things that it could be."

"Well a minute ago I heard it say "five minutes" so maybe," River added pointedly. "Just maybe it might be a good idea to go and see exactly what it is we're counting down to."

"Oh fine." The Doctor huffed as he pushed himself to his feet, leaving the others rolling their eyes as he mumbled about being very clever and no one ever listening to him. "Well, let's see, what have we got here? Hmm so if I… Yes… And then if I just... Oh." He stopped very abruptly on his course around the console and gazed down at the screen in front of him with a worried look on his face.

"Oh?" Rory repeated in a voice much higher than he intended. "What do you mean 'oh'?"

"Well… Urm… I just…" The Doctor gulped as he rapidly pressed more buttons, scrambling for a different answer.

"What is it sweetie?" River asked quietly as she jumped up and ran to stand next to him leaving her parents sitting, dazed on the floor of the TARDIS.

"It's Alarm Sequence one-thousand-and-forty-six." He almost whispered as he closed his eyes briefly, trying to think of a way out.

"And for those of us who don't know what that means?" Rory barked as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Countdown." The Doctor replied gravely.

"Yes, we got that, but count down to what?" Amy interjected angrily as she looked from her husband to her daughter and then back to her best friend- trying to get some sense of out someone.

"Countdown until the TARDIS explodes." He spoke so quietly- as if somehow that would make the blow the words delivered lessen.

"Until that **what**?" Amy bellowed.

"No!" Rory shouted a second later as he ran forwards. "It can't be. You can fix it." He stood in front of River and The Doctor and waited for them to think of something fantastic, some brilliant plan to save the day like they always did.

"I'm sorry Rory, there's nothing I can do. If the protocol has locked in then it means there is no other solution, the damage done to the TARDIS is too great, there is no other possible-"

"No!" Rory shouted and everyone jumped. "No. It can't just end like this. It can't!"

"Three Minutes." A voice rang out from the TARDIS controls and they all fell silent.

"Hey." Amy said after a moment that felt like it lasted forever. "Wasn't that, that voice I mean, wasn't that me? Was that a younger me talking?"

"Voice interface." The Doctor replied gruffly as he tried to cough the emotion out of his voice. "Must be stuck on the form it took last."

"So… We're really going to… I mean we really have…" Rory stammered as he walked slowly back to where Amy still sat motionless on the floor and sat heavily down beside her.

"Three minutes." Amy whispered, echoing the voice of her younger self as she let a tear fall down her cheek.

"Shh, it's okay." River muttered as she ran to her mother's side and placed an arm clumsily around her shoulders as she fell to her knees beside her parents.

"It's not okay River. How is this okay, how is any of this okay?" Amy gulped as she fought to pull back the tears that were betraying her.

"Well maybe okay was a bit of a strong word." River laughed. "But there are worse ways to go. No pain, no torture, time to say goodbye. Could be a lot worse."

"Well if you put it like that I don't know what I'm worried about." Amy chuckled shakily as she gazed across the room at where the Doctor stood, all alone.

"We had a good time, didn't we?" He asked quietly, not daring to meet anyone's eye No one spoke, they all just stared at him, holding their breath, not wanting to make anything worse. "Amy, Rory." He looked at them pleadingly. "All the places we've been, all the things we've done, the adventures we've had… Was it all worth it? Would you do it all again?"

"Two minutes." Amelia's voice rang across the TARDIS and a shudder passed around the strange group, the dysfunctional family.

"Yes." Amy gulped, her voice sounding much firmer than it had only seconds ago and her face now a mask of determination. "I'd do it all over again, any time." She smiled and he nodded quickly.

"Rory?" The Doctor asked hesitantly as his eyes moved from one Pond to another. Rory the Roman, long-suffering side-kick and husband. He deserved so much more than this.

"No regrets." Rory grinned nervously as he hastily squeezed Amy's hand, to reassure himself as much as her.

"And you River?" The Doctor almost whispered as he stepped towards her, his hand almost reaching out to hold onto her for support before he quickly drew it back. "You and me… All that time and space…"

"Wouldn't change a second of it." River purred as she stepped away from her parents and wrapped her arms around the man standing in front of her. So often he was the strong one, the brave one, the one with all the answers. But now he looked just like them- afraid, for the first time in a long time, that he had made a big mistake. Not for himself but for those around him. If they died, right now, regretting the way they spent their lives then that would be the worst thing he could imagine.

"I'm so sorry River." He whispered into her hair as he pulled her closer.

"Nothing to apologise for." She smiled as she pulled back so she could look him in the eye. "We all knew what we were getting in to. We're grown-ups, it's our choice."

"You never had a choice though, not really." Rory grimaced and River turned around quickly to contradict him. "The way you were brought up, brainwashed, and then with me and Amy banging on about the Doctor every day- making up all those adventures… You never stood a chance."

"Hey, come on now-" River began hotly.

"I just wish we'd had a chance to raise you as parents should do, that's all." Rory admitted sadly.

"Me too. I'm sorry River, we're the worst parents ever." Amy muttered as she put her head on Rory's shoulder.

"Right you can all stop this now." River almost shouted as she glared at the three people around her. "Now is not the time to be doing this. I'm fine and I'm happy and I've had everything I've ever wanted now just stop it." She breathed deeply, waiting for someone to argue with her. "Mum, Dad: I love you. You're brilliant parents and you always have been, even if it is all out of order you still got it right. And you-"

She turned back round to face the Doctor, her Doctor, and put her arms around him once more. "You, my love, are everything I could ever ask for. You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you." She whispered those final words as her lips brushed against his.

"One minute." That voice, that voice that could be no other, was cold and expressionless as it announced their oncoming doom.

"Do you think you could just, y'know, not do that right now?" Rory asked anxiously as he tried to look away from his daughter wrapping her herself around the Time Lord.

"We have one minute to live." River murmured as she pulled herself back for a second. "I suggest you stop complaining and kiss my mother."

"Sounds good to me." Amy smiled as she lent across and kissed him.

And there they stayed, the miss-matched couples, as the minute ticked on. They kissed each other desperately, hungrily, clinging on and trying to say everything that would now never be said- the words that would die with them

"Ten, Nine, Eight…" Amy's younger self began the final count down and the couples closed their eyes tighter, pulled each other closer in the hopes of blocking it out. "…Three, Two, One." As that final syllable fell silence engulfed the TARDIS and the very air around the felt heavy.

"Is this it?" Rory spoke quietly, fearfully. "Are we dead now?"

"Well if we are then the after-life looks very much like the inside of the TARDIS." Amy replied shakily as she risked opening her eyes.

"It what?" The Doctor barked as he too opened his eyes and looked around them quickly.

"Doctor, we're still…" River gasped. "I mean we're not…Are we?"

"Well we should be. Should be very, very dead by now." The Doctor gasped as he began to circle the consoles once more, making puzzled noises and pushing buttons erratically. "There should be nothing left of us at all- Oh!" He stopped abruptly and stared at them, the colour draining out of his face.

"Oh?" River growled as she repeated his startled noise. "What the hell do you mean by 'oh'?"

"Well, I urm…" He mumbled as he scratched his face nervously.

"Spit it out" River snapped as she folded her arms.

"Simple mistake really." The Doctor mumbled as he scuffed his feet and coughed unconvincingly.

"Mistake?" Amy gasped as she stared at him. "What mistake?"

"I changed the codes." He almost whispered.

"Doctor, stop mumbling and explain. Now." Amy glared.

"Well, you see, Alarm Sequence one-thousand-and-forty-six always used to mean imminent destruction of the TARDIS and no way out but then, about two hundred years ago, I decided to have a slight reshuffle of the numbers and now-"

"Now what?" River asked darkly.

"Now it's a count-down to the self-clean cycle." The Doctor muttered quietly as the roof above them began to shower them with soapy liquid.

"Oh, I hate you!" River shook her head as, behind her, her parents tried to stifle their laughter as the clung onto each other in relief.

"No you don't." He beamed smugly as he bounded across to her and rubbed the soap bubbles that had built up in her hair.

"Well, no." River conceded as she let herself be pulled into his embrace. "But sometimes you really push it."

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	84. I Am In Paradise

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-Four: I Am In Paradise

**Disclaimer:** I am just borrowing the wonderful characters and promise to wash them before I give them back.

**Author's Note: Many thanks, as ever ever, to all my revieweys, anyone who favourited/alerted or even you people who just keep coming back to read each time. You is the bestest and I lavs ya. Also, any prompts are greatfully received as sometimes other people's ideas fuel me better than my own. And if you sent me one ages ago and I haven't done it, send it again, because my old computer deleted my list *rollseyes*. Anywho, on with the show, this is an older River/younger Doctor scene I imagine somewhere in the depths of early series 6. Enjoy…**

"River, can we go now?" The Doctor whined lightly as he stood pawing the ground next to where River lay on the grassy bank.

"No, not yet sweetie." River replied lazily as she closed her eyes against the low sun and breathed out deeply. It was a warm summer's day and the breeze was just right and the sun was making the trees form long shadows across the hillside on which she lay and she had absolutely no intention of moving anywhere for a good long while.

"But please, River, we've been here for ages now." He sighed as he sat down heavily beside her and began pulling at tufts of grass that surrounded him.

"Exactly, and a few more minutes isn't going to hurt you." River breathed. Her voice hung in that comfortable zone somewhere between being amused and exasperated with her strange husband.

"But… I'm bored." He pouted as he stared at her. This woman, this extraordinary woman, had whisked him away and they had all of time and space to visit and what did she want to do? Sunbathe. Not even on some interesting, unexplored, potentially-dangerous planet but on Earth. And not even on an exotic beach where he could at least have a genuine reason to extract the bikini that had been lingering at the back of the TARDIS wardrobe for as long as he could remember. No. Instead they were sat here, on any old English day, doing nothing and not even waiting for anything to happen. Just doing nothing with the promise of more nothing to come. And it was very dull.

"Are you calling me boring?" River asked quickly and he couldn't read her, not yet, and he wasn't too sure if she was teasing him or scolding him but either way there was something in her eyes that made him shudder slightly.

"You? No, no… Of course not!" He stammered quickly. "You… Well you are very non boring, exciting even, positively-"

"Sweetie." River interrupted, grinning.

"Rambling?"

"Maybe a tiny bit." She laughed lightly as he exhaled. "Now relax. Lean back and watch the sky."

"And then what?" The Doctor asked. He wasn't trying to be smart or funny for once, there was no point he was trying to prove. Just to sit there, sit for no reason, seemed completely absurd to him.

"And then nothing." She laughed again, that laugh that made his stomach flip for a reason he couldn't quite understand, and threw her head back like a cat trying to catch every last ray of sunshine.

"I'm not good with… Nothing, River." The Doctor grimaced. "Also not good with silence, stillness and waiting."

"Oh, I know." River purred as she stroked his leg lazily and tried not to smirk as he jumped at the contact.

"So could you, please, just tell me what I'm supposed to be doing?" There was a tinge of desperation in his voice that caused River to pull herself up slightly and turn to face him fully.

"You are supposed to be sitting next to me and watching the sun set." River said simply. Her tone was gentle but there was no room for question in what she said. "So sit. Here. C'mon. I won't bite." She laughed as she patted the grass right beside her and he shuffled closer reluctantly.

"Okay, I'm sitting, I'm watching. Now what?"

"Now." River sighed as her fingers brushed against his in a way he couldn't claim was accidental but that he also wasn't completely sure was intended. "We watch the sun set together. We sit here and we watch the sun go down over earth for another day, watch the stars slowly come out and the streetlights click on in the city below. And we do that because it's the only time we will ever have to sit together and watch this sun going down, because in a moment it will be gone and it can never come back and because once in a while you need to be still just to remember that this is it- this is our lives, our sunset, our time. Is that okay?"

"No." He whispered breathily as he tried to memorise what she'd just said so he could replay this moment forever. His eyes were fixed on the setting sun in front of them as if he was too afraid to tear them away for one second even to look at the woman next to him who was quickly becoming more important than all the setting suns in all the cosmos. "Definitely not okay. This is much, much better than okay." He smiled broadly as his hand found hers and squeezed in gently, his eyes still staring deep into the sky. She was right. This was it.

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	85. Kissing You Goodbye

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-Five: Kissing You Goodbye

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never mine, wish they were mine.

**_Author's Note: Hello! I'm not dead! (Just in case you were wondering). I have lots of stuff going on at the moment and am very pregnant and busy and lots of other boring personal things that I shall not whinge on about BUT just to say that although I probably won't have time to update this very often for a while I shall still be updating whenever I can so please stick around & thank you so much to everyone who's still reading & reviewing! This piece I imagine being set after River's first adventure out of Stormcage as explained in the mini episode "First Night". Enjoy… _ **

"Well, I guess this is where I get off." River grinned as she jumped lightly out of the TARDIS and back into the cell she was quickly learning to think of as 'home', her hair bouncing behind her as she did.

"I guess it is." The Doctor laughed as lent back to lean against the wall of the TARDIS and folded his arms as he watched her surveying her new room with interest. Her hair was still windswept and her face still flushed from the chase they'd only just finished. It hadn't been the ideal date, even by his standards, but River had seemed to enjoy herself.

"I suppose you best be going then." River caught his gaze and grinned cheekily, her eyes still sparkling from the laughter they'd shared. Oh yes, she'd definitely enjoyed herself. All that running-for-you-life and take-my-hand-if-you-want-to-live stuff, she'd loved it. That was his River.

"Are you trying to get rid of me, Miss Song?" He laughed breathily as he stepped forwards. It still felt strange to be the one initiating the flirting, the one leading the relationship and yet here he was- the one in the know, so to speak. It was positively terrifying.

"Well it is very late and I'm not the type of girl to just let strange men into my bedroom." River laughed but continued to walk towards him, closing the small distance that still lay between them. "Even if that bedroom may be a prison cell." She added as an afterthought.

"This is very true, I wouldn't expect any less." The Doctor almost whispered as she stopped in front of him, so close he could reach out and touch her with the smallest movement. But he didn't, his arms stayed painfully stationary at his side. "But, may I remind you, I am not just a strange man. I am a strange man who also happens to be your husband." His face slid into a lop-sided grin as he gazed deep into her eyes, trying to judge what reaction this statement would get.

"Oh well, that changes everything." He saw a trace of a smirk cross her face before he felt her lips crash onto his and her hands run through his hair greedily. Smiling he put his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him and sighing into her mouth ever so slightly. This was easy, this was all he'd wanted to do all night but instead there had been the awkward conversations and the running and his awful attempts at flirting. Now though, now, this was wonderful. She was here and in his arms and…

"Wait, no. River, what are you doing?" The Doctor murmured as he pulled back and scanned her face intently.

"I was, well… I was kissing you." River replied in confusion as she disentangled her hands quickly. How could she have read that wrong? They'd definitely just been on some kind of date and they were married and unless he had some kind of weird rules about marriage he had conveniently decided not to let her in on she didn't see how that kiss could be a surprise even for him.

"No you weren't." He stated simply.

"Urm… Yes I was." River spluttered. "I mean I don't know how you do it on Gallifrey but on Earth that definitely-"

"No I mean you weren't just kissing me, were you River." He sighed and suddenly looked so much older than she'd ever seen him. "You were kissing me goodbye."

"What? Well… No… I mean, of course I wasn't." River shook her head quickly, trying to deny that what he was saying was just a little bit too close for comfort.

"Yes you were." The Doctor smiled and ran a hand gently across her cheek as she shuddered. "And you don't need to. I'll be back for you River."

"Like you came back for my mum?" She whispered, looking away guiltily- no longer daring to meet his eye.

"I came back for her!" He protested instantly.

"Twelve years later, Doctor." River sighed. "Twelve years later you came back. I was there too, you know. I waited for you with her. Every day we talked about what would happen when you came, all the fun adventures you'd take her on. And I'm not going to just sit around waiting for you again. I can break out of here whenever I want, yes, and sure it would be great if you came back but if not, that's fine. I can cope. So I guess in a way, yes, I was kissing you goodbye, just in case-"

"Oh shut up." The Doctor growled as he pulled her back towards him, crashing his lips fiercely into hers once more. "I am coming back, understand me? I'll be back tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. And if you're not here, if you're off having your own adventures, that's fine. I'll still be here. Stand me up if you want. Stand me up for twelve years."

"Do I have to?" River whispered as the cheeky smile crept back onto her lips and her eyes darted back up to his once again.

"No. But you can if you want." The Doctor laughed as he kissed her again. Lips gently brushing together as he rested his forehead against hers, not in any hurry to make a point, not in any rush to leave. Just content to be stood there kissing her. "See you tomorrow?" He asked gently as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Sure." She smiled as she pulled back to look at him properly. "Goodb-"

"See you tomorrow, River." He cut across sternly as he placed one finger on her lips.

"See you tomorrow, Doctor."

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	86. Carry Me Home Tonight

Not One For The Diary.

Memory Eighty-Six: Carry Me Home Tonight

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the pretty things, I merely play with the pretty things.

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read & review this story it gives me immense pleasure every time a notification pops up in my inbox. This is an early River & reasonably early Doctor (just post-TWORS I imagine). Enjoy…**

"Doctor…" River sighed deeply as she drummed her fingers on the table in front of her impatiently. She had been stuck sitting there for hours now. Hours without so much as a passing comment from the man who was supposed to be taking her on the "adventure of a lifetime" tonight. Excitement and wonder, he'd said. Nothing like you've ever seen on Earth, he'd promised. And so far all she'd had was hours of being stuck in a dingy bar with Amy and Rory- an experience she'd had more often than she could count.

"Not now, River." The Doctor snapped as he glanced across from the table next to them where he was deep in conversation with some creature that had three heads and had been gesturing wildly and babbling non-stop for a good ten minutes.

"Oh God." River breathed as she sat back and slammed her empty glass onto the sticky table. "Is he always-"

"Oh yeah, always." Amy smirked as she twirled her umbrella around the bottom of her glass and attempted to skewer the cheery that constantly escaped her reach.

"But is he usually so-" River started again.

"Constantly." Rory nodded as he patted his wife sympathetically on the arm in support of her quest to capture the cherry. "He's the Doctor."

"But this is just ridiculous." River groaned. "Are we expected just to sit here and wait for him all night?"

"He's deep in conversation with a creature who has managed to build an entire sonic toolbox and has an additional conversion manual for increasing the sonic power of any house-hold object." Rory chortled. "It's best to just accept you're not going to get any kind of sense out of him for at least oh… Two hours."

"Two hours?" She gaped as she turned to glare at the oblivious time lord "There is no way... Not a chance in hell…"

"Well good luck trying to get his attention." Amy snorted as she pushed her now-empty glass towards Rory in an attempt to get him to refill it.

"Oh I will." River muttered darkly as she once again leant over to where her husband sat, forcing a fake smile onto her face. "Sweetie can we go and-"

"Shush." The Doctor reached over and placed a hand clumsily over River's mouth without taking his eyes off his sonicly-able companion. "Very important world-saving talks going on here."

"Oh he did not just…" River stammered, her anger at being shushed rendering her unable to form a coherent sentence. "He really didn't… Oh that… Right. That's it. That's bloody it."

"This is not good." Rory murmured as he watched River storm across the room toward the tiny and badly lit dance floor.

"What do you think she's gonna do, leave?" Amy asked as she too tilted her head to watch her daughter stomp across the room.

"Yeah she'll probably leave or…" Rory gasped as his eyes widened at the scene in front of him.

"Or she could just dance with that little urm… What _is_ that creature?" Amy gulped.

"Some kind of alien." Rory nodded knowledgably. "Definitely an alien of some kind. An alien of some kind that River seems to be urm, well… _grinding_ against. Why is she doing that Amy? Make it stop!"

"Why would I stop it? It's hilarious!" Amy giggled as she watched River drape herself over the unassuming creature. "Look he's all flustered and doesn't know what to do with his tentacles, bless."

"Why? Oh I don't know." Rory glared across at Amy, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Possibly because that's our little baby daughter up there wrapped all around God only knows who and I have a hard enough time getting used to her being with this alien," he nodded towards the Doctor who was still engrossed in his conversation. "I don't think my nerves can deal with any other alien-daughter interaction."

"Ew, yes okay. I get it. Gross." Amy groaned, the grin fading quickly from her face.

"So stop it!" Rory whimpered as he closed his eyes momentarily to the images of his gyrating daughter.

"How am I supposed to stop it?" Amy panicked. "She doesn't listen to me about anything! If I try and tell her not to it'll just make it a hundred times worse."

"Well just do something, anything." He pleaded.

"Doctor! Amy yelled, turning sharply to face her friend.

"Not now Pond I'm-"

"Shut up." Amy glared.

"Amy that's very-" The Doctor began to protest.

"Seriously, shut up. Shut up and go over there and get your wife before she gets pregnant with a many-tentacled offspring." Amy cut across stonily as she folded her arms tightly across herself.

"Get my what before she what?" The Doctor stammered, turning away from his table so quickly that he sent his drink flying.

"Wife. Impregnated." Rory nodded across to the dance floor.

"Is that River?" The Doctor gasped as he saw the way River's hands were locked around the shorter creature's neck.

"Yep. We are so proud." Rory sighed.

"But why… What did…? I mean, why?" The Doctor stammered again, his eyes never leaving his wife as she swayed to the music.

"Probably to get your attention. At a guess." Amy muttered sarcastically.

"But why would she need to do that?" He replied with genuine confusion.

"Oh I don't know… Maybe because you've been a complete idiot who's ignored her from the second we walked in here." Amy raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips as if this clarified her point.

"But I had to… It was very important with the sonic and… I really have been an idiot haven't I?" He groaned as ran his fingers through his hair anxiously.

"Yup." Amy nodded.

"So what should I do?" He looked at his friends hopelessly.

"Well what do you think?" Rory snapped.

"I could… Well, I mean maybe I should… Oh I don't know." The Doctor slumped forward in defeat. "How do you humans deal with all this conflict and pain and difficulty and… stuff?" He finished lamely.

"Well you've been hanging around earth for long enough you must have picked up some conflict-resolution skills by now." Amy answered firmly.

"But-" The Doctor began.

"No buts. Go. Now." Amy yanked him out of his seat and pushed him roughly forwards in the direction of the dance floor and, more importantly, River.

"Oh fine." He sighed as he stormed off to attempt to re-gain his wife's attention.

"What do you think he'll do?" Rory whispered as they watched his retreating figure.

"I really don't know." Amy chewed her lip nervously. "But I guess we'll find out."

The couple fell silent as they watched the Doctor approach the miss-matched couple on the dance floor, he marched forward with the air of a man who was attempting to make himself seem more imposing than he was. He gingerly tapped the alien on his shoulder and as the creature turned around the Doctor began gesturing wildly- throwing his arms around and making his head dance elaborately from side to side. Then in a split-second three things happened in quick succession: River threw her head back and laughed so loudly Amy and Rory heard her over the bad disco music, the many-tentacled being raised one of said tentacles and slapped the Doctor hard with it and the Doctor fell back onto the floor, apparently unconscious.

"Oh my God!" Amy screamed as she and Rory simultaneously ran forward.

"What the hell happened?" Rory panted as he looked quickly between the sprawled-out Doctor and River, who was still manically laughing (the alien had taken the opportunity to conveniently disappear).

"He came over and… Oh, he was trying to be…" River gasped between laughter.

"He was what, River?" Amy snapped.

"Sorry. He, well, he came charging over her and then he shouted 'oi you get you hands off my woman' in the worst cockney accent I have ever heard and he…" She shook her head, unable to continue, and gave into the laughter that threatened to consume her.

"Well, this is all your fault." Rory said to Amy as he tried to keep a straight face.

"My fault? How?" Amy gasped.

"You're the one who introduced him to Eastenders!" Rory laughed, leaning on River for support.

"Oh shut up you two!" Amy huffed as she bent down to check on her friend. "Someone's going to have to help me carry him home."

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	87. The Hardest Word

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-Seven: The Hardest Word.

**Disclaimer:** All creations belong to Steven Moffat. I do not dispute this in the slightest.

**Author's Note: Firstly, thanks to all you lovely readers both old & new who took time to review/favourite, you warm my heart. This particular chapter was inspired by me re-watching flesh & stone/time of angels and getting really ANGRY at the way the Doctor speaks to River and wanting him to apologise. So this happened. It's an early Doctor & younger River. Enjoy…**

"Is there a **reason** why you are still here, River?" The Doctor growled as he paced around the console, slamming levers and hitting buttons with force even he knew was unnecessary. But he'd had a bad day. There was nothing he could do and people had died trying to defend him- again. It hurt. He was hurt and angry and the last thing he needed was River stupid Song hanging around smirking and being smug and infuriating and just… _River._

"Because you need me to be." River smirked and the Doctor glared at her quickly. "And, on some level, you want me to be." She lent back against the railings and watched in amusement as the Doctor froze in his tracks.

"I do not need you and I certainly don't want you." He growled, pacing towards her. "Tell me where to drop you off and I will do it right now. In fact if you don't I might just chose some planet and put you there. You're a big girl, you can take care of yourself."

"I can." River smiled unflinchingly as the Doctor stood just inches away from her face. "But it's a much better use of my time to take care of you."

"I don't need taking care of! I'm nine hundred-"

"I know. Still such a baby. So young." River laughed, her eyes sparkling.

She was completely unfazed by the low growl that was emitting from the Doctor's throat and that made him even angrier. How dare she act like she knew everything, like she had all the answers? Who was she to talk to him like he was a child?

"Get out." He spat at her as he stalked away. Right now he didn't care where she went as long as it was a long, long way away from him.

"I can't. Not right now." Her voice was suddenly soft and her hand touched his arm lightly.

The Doctor closed his eyes and tried to hold on to the anger he was feeling. He didn't want to be soothed by her words or her touch. He didn't want her to be able to help him. Right now, that would feel like defeat.

"Your emotions are controlling you right now." River whispered. "And that is always dangerous for you- let me help."

"I… Can't." He breathed.

"Yes you can." River pleaded. "Follow me." Her hand moved down to put a light pressure on his. It wasn't forcing him to come merely showing him that it was a possibility and it was this fact that made him let out a deep breath and allow himself to be lead.

Silently she led him away from the control room and through the maze of twisting corridors inside the TARDIS. He momentarily wondered how she knew her way around so easily but he pushed this thought away, trying to force his mind to become blank. A second ago he wanted nothing to do with this woman but suddenly he wanted nothing more than to allow himself to be controlled by her- to follow her willingly in the hope she could rid him of all the anger, the pain and the hatred that flowed through him.

"Here?" The Doctor questioned quietly as River stopped in front of a perfectly ordinary, plain wooden door.

"Here." River repeated as she stepped aside, gesturing to the Doctor that he should turn the handle.

As he did he saw a small dark room before him. The room, like the door, was nothing special. It could have been any of the TARDIS's many empty rooms and in fact the only thing that set it apart was an easel, which stood in the middle of the room with a sheet thrown across it. Gingerly he walked up to it and pulled the sheet off in one fluid motion. As he did a strange silvery light filled the room- emanating from the picture that had now been revealed.

"But that's…" He stammered as he moved towards it, entranced.

"The Gallifreyan sky. Yes." River smiled as she stood behind him.

"But how did you…" The Doctor murmured again- his eyes still fixed on the image in front of him as the stars he knew so well but thought he would never see again sparkled.

"You described it to me so clearly I found it easy to re-create it. And it was always the only thing that would calm you when your emotions ran away with you." River spoke quietly, fondly, as she too gazed at the picture. "You always told me how, when you were young, you'd go to the highest point you could find and lie down, starring up at the sky to remind you-"

"How big the universe was and how small my problems were." The Doctor finished for her. He turned to look at this woman and realised, not for the first time, how important she would be to him one day. She would be someone he confided his deepest secrets and his oldest memories in. His hearts ached with the desire to have that kind of companionship now and then constricted painfully as he realised that maybe, if he stopped pushing her away so insistently, he could have had it for a long time now.

"River… I…" He began hesitantly. He wanted to apologise for never trusting her, for always taking things out on her that were in no way her fault. He wanted to thank her for everything she had done and would ever do for him. But the words refused to form.

"It's okay." River smiled gently. She reached forward and squeezed his hand gently as she turned to go. "I'll let myself out."

"But I-" The Doctor began with panic in his voice. There was so much he had to say, he couldn't let her just leave like this.

"Shh, sweetie. It's really okay." She nodded at him letting him know that she understood everything he needed to say as she shut the door, leaving him alone with his stars.

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	88. Pictures Of You

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-Eight: Pictures Of You

**Disclaimer:** Maybe if I win the lottery I shall try to buy Doctor Who. Until then, they do not belong to me.

**Author's Note: Ooh look at me go with the semi-regular updatingness! I shall try to keep it up but it depends, as ever, on how much my children decide they want to sleep! This one is a early-ish Doctor & older River episode & I think that's about all there is to say. Enjoy…**

"River," The Doctor sighed heavily as he leant back on the tiny bed in the prison cell that he found himself spending more and more time in. "Seriously, how long can it take?"

"It takes as long as it takes." River called from the adjoining room. "When you have this much hair you'll understand!"

"But River you've been in that en-suite for nearly an hour." He moaned as he pulled absent-mindedly at the duvet he lay on. "And, really, what kind of prison cell even has an en-suite?"

"The kind that I have." River laughed dirtily and the Doctor felt a shiver run down his spine. "They'll do anything to try to get me to stay, poor dears. It's never going to work though."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, feeling an immense sympathy for the poor guards who had to try to make River do anything she didn't want to. He'd learnt a long time ago that it was a nearly impossible feat. Quickly he glanced back towards the locked door and decided, instantaneously, that if he was forced to wait here for any longer he should at least do something productive with his time and that the 'something productive' he should do was to go through River's bedside cabinet in search for interesting things.

Looking around like a child about to sneak a second chocolate biscuit after having been explicitly told only to take one the Doctor pulled open the top drawer and let out a long breath at the fact that no alarm or other anti-theft device had gone off. That was something he wouldn't have put passed River. As he peered inside the first things he saw made him break into a wide grin- a pair of handcuffs and her hallucinogenic lipstick. _Of course_, he thought as he pushed them aside, _what else would my wife keep in here?_ He saw the famous diary lying there, blue and tempting as ever, but even now he knew not to peek. There were things he didn't want to know. Next to it, however, was another book. It was plain and brown and looked old but still well looked after. Nervously he picked it up opened the first page cautiously- on it was a single word in River's handwriting: photos. Grinning, he turned the next page and expected to be see a collage of him and River through the years but instead was confronted with images of Amy and Rory laughing and smiling with Mels. _With River._ He had to correct himself mentally.

Although he'd know about River's identity for a long time now he'd never really thought about it before. Never really stopped to think what it must have been like for her to have grown-up alongside her parents without ever being able to tell them who she was. As he looked at the smiling school children that filled the album his hearts broke a bit for her.

"Well come on then Sweetie I'm-" River stopped dead as she appeared out of the bathroom and saw the Doctor sprawled across her bed with her possessions lying around him. "What are you doing?" She asked quietly.

"I'm sorry I… Well I was waiting and I just wanted to… Sorry." He finished lamely, not daring to look at her.

"It's fine." River replied sharply as she crossed the room, picked up the book and flung it back in her draw as quickly as she could. "Now let's go."

"Tell me about her." The Doctor said quietly, not moving from her position on the bed. "I mean… Would you tell me about her, please?"

"There's nothing to tell. I was still me. Different name, different body but still me essentially." She replied quickly, her back turned away from her husband and instead facing the TARDIS and willing this conversation to be over.

"I know that." He said softly. "But you know every face I've ever had and I know very little about the person you were for all those years. So will you indulge me, please?"

"All right, fine." River conceded as she sat down heavily on the bed next to the Doctor. "What do you want to know?"

"What was she like?"

"She was… Fun. Definitely fun. And she never took anything seriously if she could help it. She was bored easily. She was a thrill-seeker and she… I enjoyed getting into trouble." River sighed deeply. "I enjoyed getting into trouble because it was the best way to get Mum's attention. To get her to… well, mother me, really. I was constantly worried that she'd get bored of me or that once she got together with Dad they'd want to spend all their time together so I had to keep inventing new and often dangerous things to do that would make them not be able to forget I was there. Just your usual attention-seeking kid I guess." She laughed hollowly.

There was a long silence in which River stared resolutely at the floor and the Doctor opened and closed his mouth numerous times- unable to find the right words to say.

"She does love you, you know." He settled for eventually, placing his hand awkwardly on her knee.

"Of course she does." River said briskly as she pulled her head back up and looked at the Doctor with her best everything-is-okay smile glued to her face. "As a best friend. She loves me but not in the same way I love her. Not that it's her fault, of course." She added quickly. "She didn't know who I was to start with and then I turn up and I'm older than her and so she can't really start mothering me now, not after all we've been through. To her there is me and there's Mels and there's this tiny baby she had stolen and we'll never really be the same person to her."

"It must be hard." The Doctor almost whispered, his eyes fixed on her face.

"Maybe. I don't know. I mean I've got my parents in my life and that's the most important thing and we're wonderful friends-"

"But you're not family."

"Not in the strictest sense, no." River smiled half-heartedly, trying to make it all seem okay.

"I don't have a family either, not any more." He said as he placed his arm clumsily around her shoulders. "Maybe we could be each other's family."

"Yes." River breathed with a smile as she leant back into his embrace. "I think I'd like that."

**You shall review now. Reviews are cool. **


	89. And A Happy New Year

Not One For The Diary

Memory Eighty-Nine: And A Happy New Year. 

**Disclaimer:** If Steven Moffat is looking for a present to give me- I suggest he leaves me the Doctor and River. Until then- not mine.

**Author's Note: A many million thank yous to all you lovely reviewers- I could bloody kiss you (but I shall refrain, my husband wouldn't understand). This is a reasonably mid-time episode and I am writing it because I am clinically unable to write Christmas stories at any time other than mid-summer (well, it's more like Autumn now, this part has taken me a while). Fact. Enjoy…**

"Oh Doctor." River sighed deeply as they stepped into the TARDIS and shut the door behind them, leaning back heavily on the wood. She looked, uncharacteristically, like she had the weight of the world on her shoulder.

"Don't, River." He breathed heavily in reply as he ran his hands through his hair.

"But we can't just leave them like that." River pleaded to his retreating back.

"We have saved them, they are safe. This is exactly where we leave them." The Doctor said simply as he walked even further across the control room, trying to place as much distance between him and the tiny humans on the other side of those wooden doors as possible. He wanted to drive off into some other time and never look back but he could feel River's eyes boring into the back of his head so he stopped himself.

"But there must be something-" River began, her voice trying to get some emotion out of the cold figure she was greeted with. She knew this wasn't him, not really. But hundreds of years of pain and suffering and not being able to change fixed points in history made him hurt in ways she couldn't even imagine- and that's why he needed her.

"River they're orphans in the middle of the Great Depression. They haven't been eaten by angry four-headed aliens and, trust me, that's as good as their lives are going to get for a very long time!" He snapped as he stood in the doorway, pain plastered across his face, sadness filling his old eyes.

"But… It's Christmas." River whispered as she met his eyes quickly.

The Doctor sighed deeply and shook his head a fraction before he turned to walk away, leaving River alone. She breathed deeply, trying to control the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her but, like trying to stop the tide coming in, she failed miserably and instead let out a strangled scream of frustration as she turned and kicked the nearest thing to her (which turned out to be a metal pole and hurt rather a lot). Then as quickly as it had arrived her rage flooded out of her- leaving her feeling empty.

River rested her forehead against the wall and let a single, hot tear run down her face. She thought of those poor children who would wake up tomorrow to find nothing but the wreckage of an orphanage that she and the Doctor had left behind. After all they'd been through they'd be hoping for one magical day filled with presents, Christmas trees and fairy lights but all they'd have, in reality, was the charred skeleton of the tree they had all decorated standing alone in the living room. She thought of her own miserable childhood- being locked away from the real world and dreaming each year of families crowded round and open fire, of snowball fights and reindeers dashing across the sky but awaking to nothing but the one photo she had of her mother smiling back at her from her bedside table. It wasn't his fault, and she knew that, sometimes life was just cruel and unfair and one man couldn't write all the wrongs in the universe- no matter how much he wanted to.

She had no idea how long she stood there, leaning against the TARDIS and completely lost in her own thoughts, but she was vaguely aware that a long time had passed because the vague notion that she should move the TARDIS before the kids woke up popped into her head just before she heard a large bang and was jolted back to reality.

"Well come on then River Song, what are we waiting for?" The Doctor beamed as he bounded forward and River rolled her eyes as she turned towards him, expecting that he was now ready to pull her off on another spur-of-the moment adventure to make her forget all her troubles like he normally did. That was until she saw the gigantic bright-red sac that he was pulling behind him.

"What is that?" She gaped as she stared at him.

"What do you think? We'd better hurry, it took me a while to locate their letters but I think I've got it all… Bike for Carl, new dress for Anna, yoyo for John, fire truck for Dorothy, bird whistle for Harold (that'll be broken by one of the other kids by New Years I guarantee) and a train set for the twins. Yep, that's everything." He grinned like a Cheshire cat, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"But the letters… How'd you… You don't mean…" River stammered as she looked quickly from him to the sac and back again.

"Yep. That would be me." His smile faltered a little as he looked at River. "I'm sorry I never got to you. I tried, I really did, but I could never-"

"Hush." River cut him off quickly as she stepped closer and placed her fingers on his lips. "Oh you wonderful man, it doesn't matter. Nothing could be better than this- we're giving them Christmas!"

"Exactly!" He shouted as he kissed her fingers lightly before she took them away. "Now there's a Christmas tree in the back room, you can manage to carry that, right? We've only got ten minutes before the twins wake up and the old one got kind of… destroyed by that unexpected bout of fire earlier."

River laughed as she turned away. She really loved Christmas.

**I accept reviews as early Christmas presents. Just sayin'. **


	90. The Damage

Not One For The Diary

Memory Ninety: The Damage.

**Disclaimer:** As ever, Steven Moffat owns my poor broken soul.

_**Author's Note: Guuuuuys! Did you SEE that episode? Ohmichristonabike. Look at our babies. Our beautiful married babies *ugly sobbing*. Ahem, yes, anyway, if you haven't seen The Angels Take Manhattan then don't read this cause, y'know, SPOILERS. And if you have then this is an extra scene my brain added on at the end if the Doctor had returned to the TARDIS after reading Amy's letter and River had still been there. Also, 90 parts! That's a bit mental ain't it? Thanks for all being there for the ride so far! Enjoy…**_

"River?" The Doctor called as he stepped back into the TARDIS and shut the door quickly behind him. He'd been wandering around the city for hours in an attempt to rid himself of the cloud of emotion that hung over his head and now his voice was croaky from lack of use and his jaw ached from the sobs he'd forced himself to keep inside. "River where are… Oh."

He stopped suddenly as he saw her sitting on the steps of the TARDIS, hugging her knees to herself and staring into the distance as if she was unaware he was there or that there was anything outside her all-consuming thoughts.

"Oh hello sweetie." River grinned quickly as she jumped up: her voice was so forced in its brightness that it was almost painful. "I was wondering when you'd get back, thought you'd got lost. Ready for the off?"

The Doctor watched her carefully as she walked away- his hearts aching all over again as she took in a deep breath and turned her back to him. She walked quickly around the console, flicking various switches and rubbed her hands across her face in a way he would have sworn was wiping away the traces of tears if he didn't know better. Because this was_River_ and River never cried, at least not in front of him.

"River, are you okay?" He asked gently as he walked up behind her and placed a tentative hand on her shoulder.

"Of course I'm okay." She snapped as she turned around so quickly the Doctor's hand flew off her shoulder and hovered uncertainly at his side.

"River, I'm sorry. I should have stayed… They're, I mean, they were-"

"I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm always fine." River almost pleaded as her eyes met his. She smiled and shrugged but her eyes remained hollow and it was one of the most distressing sights he'd ever seen. Everything that had happened today had left him feeling so powerless and this was yet another thing to add to that list. His wife was hurting, she was practically screaming inside, and he couldn't do anything because he felt so broken himself- it was all he could do not to fall down and cry.

"River," The Doctor began again, taking a deep breath and resolving to try to be strong for her. To help her because it was all his fault. Her whole life was messed up and now her parents were gone and it was all his fault. "I know you're not okay, and that's fine-"

"No it's not!" River shouted as she began to pace back and forth manically. "One of us has to be fine, to keep it together, and let's face it- it's not going to be you!"

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he stared down at his feet gently scuffing the floor. His grief was greedy, it was noisy and all consuming and he so very much wanted to part with it so he could help River but it gripped his hearts tightly and refused to let go.

"No, I'm sorry." River stopped and suddenly she was at his side with her arm wrapped around his waist and her head resting slightly on his shoulder. "She was your best friend, I understand."

"But she was your best friend too, and your mother." The Doctor replied in a small voice.

"Let's not make this into a competition." River laughed, her eyes full of genuine warmth for the first time. "I really will be okay because I know she will be. It's just a shock. But she's with Rory, she's got him, and that's more than-"

River stopped quickly and gazed into the Doctor's eyes, pleading that he not finish that sentence but it was too late. The words hung in the air between them and pain flashed across the Time Lord's young face.

"You have me." His voice was small, almost hurt.

"Oh sweetie, I do." River smiled as she reached out to stroke his cheek gently. "But not all the time. We can't-"

"Just stay with me." He asked, for the second time that day. "You could just stay."

"I can't." River sighed, a weariness she shouldn't possess crossing her face. "You're still so young, much younger than I've seen you, and if I stay with you now those times will never happen. And trust me, there are some memories that I do not want to lose."

She smirked and the Doctor found himself laughing, in spite of himself. So there were still adventures to be had, laughter to be shared. Life would indeed go on, even though it didn't feel like it at the moment.

"So what do we do now?" The Doctor asked.

"Oh we should find you someone to travel with. I'm thinking an Earth girl from Twentieth Century Britain. Or shall we break with tradition?"

"Oh very funny." The Doctor rolled his eyes as River laughed. "And what about you?"

"Oh you'll see me again, and soon."

"But until then you'll be-"

"Alone. Yeah." River shrugged and smiled sadly. "Last of the Time Lords and The Child of the TARDIS. What a pair, aye?"

"Perfect for each other, some might say." The Doctor smiled as he gently brushed a stray strand of hair out of his wife's face.

"Almost perfect." River smiled back as she leant into his touch.

"We don't have to go companion-hunting right now though, do we?" He asked, unable to keep the tone of desperation out of his voice completely.

"I suppose it can wait a day or two. No point taking you like this anyway. Nobody likes a cry baby." River grinned as she nudged him gently in the side.

"Oh shut it, Song." The Doctor laughed as he grabbed hold of her hand and began walking into the depths of the TARDIS. "So what shall we do now?"

"Bed?" River suggested. "I could sleep for about a week."

"That is the best suggestion you've had all day." The Doctor smiled gently.

"As long as you promise not to hog the covers this time." River smirked.

"I do not!" The Doctor protested.

"Yes you do. And you snore." River laughed.

"I don't know why I put up with you." The Doctor pouted.

"Love you too, Sweetie." River smiled as she kissed him gently on the cheek before pushing open the door to their bedroom.

Reviews are the best thing since sliced bread.


	91. All The Small Things

Not One For The Diary.

Memory Ninety-One: All The Small Things

**Disclaimer:** Sooooo not mine.

_**Author's Note: So. Basically. To summarise: if you review my story I love you and I consider us to be friends and that's that and I apologise for keeping y'all waiting for the next part but I had a fluffy idea and an angsty one and decided that I'd be a nice person and write the fluffy one for you. (also beware of possible angst in the next part). This is a younger River/older Doctor episode. Enjoy…**_

"Doctor, I'm freezing." River complained loudly as she shivered and shifted herself beneath the umbrella in an attempt to avoid getting completely soaked.

"Well, you should have put on more clothes!" The Doctor announced as he looked her up and down, taking in the tight-fitting red dress she wore. "Actually ignore that. That should never be said again. Rule eight hundred and two: never wear more clothes."

River giggled appreciatively as she pulled her heels out of the mud that surrounded her for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"Well if you'd told me where we were going I might have dressed more appropriately." River rolled her eyes as she surveyed her surroundings. "Like in wellies and a waterproof. But no, you just said we were going somewhere romantic."

"This is romantic!" The Doctor beamed as he threw his arms wide and grinned into the pouring rain.

"This," River sighed deeply. "Is camping."

"Exactly!" He grinned as he stepped under the umbrella and planting a sloppy kiss clumsily on River's cheek before rushing back to resume his original action of attempting to assemble the tent. "Isn't it brilliant?"

"It's certainly… urm…" She searched for a positive word. "Interesting. Remind me why we have to do it again?"

"Because you're the only species in the whole universe that camps!" He chortled as he pulled the tent into a tent-shaped shape but then got so excited he let it go and it collapsed into the heap of fabric and poles that it had previously been.

"There's probably a reason for that." River grumbled as she pulled her arms closer in against herself and her flimsy dress.

"And seeing as you're mostly human I thought we should indulge in a traditional pastime of your people!"

"Well can we not emphasise my part-Time-Lord-ness and instead indulge in a night in the nice, warm, dry TARDIS?" River asked hopefully.

"Certainly not!" The Doctor looked outraged.

"Fine. Fine." River sighed again. "Well in that case at least let me put the tent up because otherwise we'll be here all night."

She walked forward and thrust her umbrella roughly into the Doctor's hands and rolled her eyes at the look of surprise on his face before proceeding to do in ten minutes what he had failed to do in well over an hour.

"There, that wasn't so hard was it?" River smirked as she stood back under the umbrella and shook her head like a dog that'd just got in from the rain.

"I wanted to do it." The Doctor pouted as he stared at River.

"I know sweetie but I wanted to not catch pneumonia and we couldn't do both." She squeezed his free hand affectionately. "Now, shall we go inside?"

"I'll go first!" The Doctor jumped forward passing the, now rather battered, umbrella back to River as he did. "Better make sure you haven't messed everything up."

"It's the inside of a tent! Really not much damage I could do even if I wanted to!" River shouted to his retreating back.

"It's fine, it's all okay. Come on in." The Doctor called once he was safely inside.

"Oh, he better have sleeping bags" River shivered as she walked gingerly forward.

"Well, what do you think?" The Doctor grinned the second River stepped inside.

"It's… It's…" River stammered as she looked around. For once she was completely lost for words.

"I know, right?" He laughed as he put an arm around her, pulling her close to him.

"It's amazing." River breathed into his shoulder as she took in what surrounded her. The tent was, without wanting to state the obvious, much bigger on the inside. In the centre was a four-poster bed surrounded by white drapes, the walls were covered with fairy lights and the floor was littered with rose petals. "It is completely and utterly amazing, very romantic and you… You are a big soppy git." She grinned as she lent up to kiss him.

"I am the last of the Time Lords, the oncoming storm! I am fire and ice and rage and… Yeah, I guess I am a bit soppy, aren't I?" He smiled uncertainly. Romance was still very new, even now.

"Completely. And I really don't know what I've done to deserve all this." She looked around, trying to hide the tears that clouded her eyes.

Quickly the Doctor pulled her face back round to his and kissed her. As his lips brushed against hers he tried to tell her everything he couldn't ever say. How wonderful she was, how strong and loving and loyal. How she was the only one who could keep him grounded and the only one who could make him feel like he was flying so much higher than he'd ever been. How she would lose so much, give up so much, all for him and the least he could do was show her, as often as he could and in as many ways as he could ever think of, that it mattered. That she mattered. Always and forever.

River smiled as she pulled back from his embrace, her cheeks slightly flushed and her hands trembling.

"Now please don't think that I want that to stop but I am soaked to the bone and very close to freezing." River laughed. "I take it you don't object if I take my clothes off?"

"Not at all Miss Song." The Doctor smirked as he gestured towards the bed. "Not at all."

Reviews motivate me to write faster. Fact.


	92. Something Good

Not One For The Diary 

Memory Ninety-Two: Something Good.

**Disclaimer:** The BBC have kindly not yet told me not to play with their creations, so I shall continue to do so.

_**Author's Note: Oooh look at me go with the semi-regular updatingness. I'm too good to you guys ;) after this one I have a prompt I'm gonna attempt to reply to but if anyone wants to chuck me some more ideas to try to keep me on a role that would be wonderful. This part is what happens when The Sound Of Music and Sherlock get crossed in my head. Yep. You heard it right! Anyway this is set sometime between series 6 & 7 for the Doctor when he's being all angsty on his own & is a reasonably late River. Enjoy…**_

"How… Dare you!" River shouted as she stomped into the bedroom, flinging open the door and throwing her bag onto the bed as she did. "How bloody dare you?"

"River I still don't understand what I've done wrong?" The Doctor panted as he ran to keep up with her, looking like a puppy following its master.

"You don't understand? You don't…" River trailed off, breathing hard in an attempt to calm herself. She closed her eyes as she took out her earrings, placed them on the dresser and pulled her hair out of the tight bun it was in. "You had a loaded gun pointed at your head and you don't understand why I'm angry?"

She turned and looked at him as her eyes swam with tears she tried to blink back.

"I had it under control River, I swear!" The Doctor pleaded.

"No you didn't. You were playing Russian Roulette there is no way-"

"I had to River!" He yelled as he ran his hands through his hair in exasperation.

"No. No. You didn't **have** to do anything, there's always another way and you know that!" River countered with equal fury.

"The planet was at stake and I knew that I could outsmart them." He sighed deeply. "River, you know me, I am very very clever. Do you think that I would have been doing that if I wasn't convinced it would work?"

"So you're telling me there was no chance, none at all, that you could have been wrong and that gun could have blown your brains out? You can honestly say that there wasn't even a one percent chance can you?" River paused and looked him straight in the eye as he opened and closed his mouth- unable to answer. "Yeah. That's what I thought." She growled as she pushed her way past him and out of the door they'd just come through.

"Where are you going?" He called after her. "River, where are you going?"

"I just can't be around you right now." She sighed as she got to the end of the corridor and turned to look back at him sadly.

"But no one would have been hurt, even if it had gone wrong. They wouldn't have destroyed the planet it would only have been me."

"Exactly!" River shouted. "That's the whole point."

"I… I don't understand." He stammered, his confusion written all over his face.

"Do you just not care at all?" River asked sadly as she lent against the wall for support.

"Care?" The Doctor bellowed. "Of course I care! Don't you listen to anything I say? That's what all this, my whole life, is about. I care so much about these people and this planet that I-"

"Not about them! For once can you not think about those nameless, faceless humans that you've never met but are willing to constantly risk your life for and instead think about yourself?" She stepped forward slightly, caught between anger and sadness.

"Me? I'm not important." He waved his hands dismissively, genuinely confused about how anyone could not understand that.

"I know you think that and that's what so awful." River sighed as she walked back to where her husband stood. "You are the most wonderful, amazing man I've ever met and yet you don't care enough about yourself to even ensure your continued existence. You have no idea how much you would be missed because you don't want to believe that people care about you, that you are loved. Well I'm going to tell you this now: you're wrong. You're the most important person in my life and the lives of so many other people. People you know and beings you've never even met. You change lives. You fix people. You make this universe a better place and if you ever left us I don't know what we would do. And… I can see you don't believe a word of this, do you?" River looked sadly at him as she placed a hand on the side of his face. "Well even if you never believe it please, please, just think of me next time you want to be even more reckless than usual with your life. Think how I would feel if you no longer existed. You are valued, you are important and you are loved. More than you will ever know."

She lent forward and gently kissed his cheek before she turned and walked back into their bedroom, leaving him alone in the corridor.

The Doctor stood there and watched her as she sat heavily on the bed. She was different to any being he'd ever encountered. He could no longer blame her love for him on the indoctrination she endured as a youth- she was so much older now, she'd seen so many things and been through more than most companions ever would with him and she was still here, still by his side. She still loved him. She loved him passionately and honestly and forever and she believed in him. He couldn't believe that he was worth any more than the suit he stood up in but for some reason she knew him inside out and still cared for him and that must mean something. Somewhere along the way, somewhere deep in his past, he must have done something good. To be loved so deeply there must be something in him worth saving. He just didn't know what it was.

**Reviews are amazing. **


	93. An Old Friend

Not One For The Diary

Memory Ninety-Three: An Old Friend

**Disclaimer:** From hereon in most things are property of the beeb.

_**Author's Note: Many thanks, as ever, to everyone who reviewed/favourited/alerted etc. You guys rock my socks. This part is in a response to a request from Connie for a meeting between River, the Doctor and the Master. The Master I am choosing to write is the next reincarnation (he came back somehow, don't ask me for details :p) and I personally picture him being played by Benedict Cumberbatch but of course you are free to picture him howsoever you wish. This is a younger River/older Doctor situation. Enjoy…**_

"River, would you get away from him!" The Doctor growled as he paced the floor of the TARDIS.

"Oh but what do you expect me to do if you bring in Mr tall-dark-and-handsome and chain him to a chair in front of me?" River laughed as she pulled an identical metal chair to the one the man was sitting on down and turned it backwards so she was sat facing him like a cop interrogating someone in a film noir.

"He's dangerous River." The Doctor glared at her as he momentarily stopped pacing. "And I'm tall." He added as an after thought.

"Dangerous?" River smirked as she edged her chair closer and inclined her head to the side to gaze at this new face. "Well all the best men are. Ooh and you put him in handcuffs. You know how I love handcuffs!"

"I know you do!" The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"I bet you do!" The man on the chair winked.

"Don't you dare." The Doctor breathed heavily as he walked up to the man and stopped inches short of his face. "Do not look at her. Do not speak to her. Don't even breathe in her direction."

"Oh, you spoil all my fun." River pretended to pout as the Doctor once again walked back to his preferred pacing spot. "Well if he's not here as an early birthday present for me what is he here for?"

"River, shh, I am trying to think!" The Doctor groaned as his hands flew to his temples and began to massage them as his brain whirred at a thousand miles a minute.

"I mean I know we don't do this very often but I assumed that you weren't really into the whole tying-up-of-innocent-men thing. Maybe I was wrong." River grinned, enjoying winding her husband up far more than she should be.

"Oh I really like her!" The man on the chair laughed as he bit on his lip suggestively. "Can I take her with me?"

"I thought I told you not to talk to her!" The Doctor boomed as his rage exploded once more.

"I'm not talking to her- merely about her. She's much better than your usual ones. Feisty. I like it. You sure we couldn't just share?" He shook his head back in an attempt to get the hair out of his eyes as River tried to conceal her laughter as she watched the Doctor getting more and more irate at this man she knew nothing about.

"She is not a **thing** I can share and even if I could I wouldn't-"

"Same old Doctor. You never used to share your toys on Gallifrey, I really thought you would have grown out of that by now."

"Gallifrey? What?" River gasped. "Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on with the chained up man and how you know each other!"

"Oh fine, fine." The Doctor waved his hands carelessly. "River this is the Master, as he insists on calling himself, and we're… we'll we're urm…" He faltered.

"Old friends?" The Master offered with the raise of an eyebrow.

"More like constant nemeses." The Doctor contradicted.

"But he's a Time Lord, like you?" River asked excitedly.

"Well, yes, I mean-" The Doctor stammered.

"'Last of the Time Lords' he said." River rolled her eyes as she smirked back at the Doctor. "How many others have you been hiding away? Are there actually a whole host of potential Time Lord husbands out there for me to choose from and you just neglected to tell me this?" She suppressed a giggle as he rolled his eyes yet again. It was just way too easy to wind him up in these kinds of situations.

"No it's just me and him and he's not even supposed to be here he died, he's dead, I mean-"

"Yes I gave up my life to save you and this stupid planet and what's the thanks I get? Being tied up and chained to a chair! Great." The Master muttered sarcastically.

"Well just tell me what you're planning to do and we can resolve this!" The Doctor implored him.

"I told you- I'm not **planning** anything. I've turned over a new leaf! New leaf, new face, new not being evil. It's a thing I'm trying."

"So you're honestly telling me you're not in any way trying to take over the world or enslave the human race?" The Doctor demanded.

"Nope." The Master grinned.

"No drums? No wanting to bring back the Time Lords?" He persevered.

"Not at all." The Master still smiled angelically.

"No ulterior motive of any kind in coming here?" The Doctor pressed once more.

"Not a single one." The other Time Lord beamed.

"Nope. Not buying it! Not buying a single word!" The Doctor spat as he resumed his beloved pacing.

"Oh, come on, sweetie. Let's give him a chance!" River implored.

"If you knew the things he's done River… He's a psychopath for goodness sake!" The Doctor sighed at her.

"Oh so you're all anti-psychopaths these days then, huh?" River asked icily. Suddenly there was no laughter in her eyes as she folded her arms tightly across her body.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean it like…" The Doctor trailed off sadly, stretching his hand out to touch her shoulder but then bringing it back again quickly.

"See, I knew he'd screw up eventually. Want to run away with me Miss River? Two psychopaths on the loose? All the fun of a Time Lord without any of the boring rules this old fart has? What do you say?" The Master smiled at River.

"Right, that's it!" The Doctor yelled before River could reply and suddenly he was undoing the handcuffs that bound the Master to the chair and was pulling him up by the arm and dragging him away. "Out! Out! Get out!" He pushed him towards the doors of the TARDIS.

"What before you've even deciphered my fiendish plan?" The Master chuckled.

"Oh I will figure it out and I hope it's something really bad so I can find you and stop you once and for all!" The Doctor whispered menacingly.

"Oh so much for us being the last two of our kind and you wanting more than anything for me to be around."

"Well that…" The Doctor announced as he pushed his fellow Time Lord through the now-open doors of the TARDIS. "That was before you started hitting on my wife!"

**Review pretty please if you have a second. **


	94. They Don't Love Me Like You

Not One For The Diary

Memory Ninety-Four: They Don't Love Me Like You

**Disclaimer:** You guuuuuys. I don't own it.

**Author's Note: As it is thanksgiving (even though I'm not American) I would like to say how thankful I am for everyone who reads/reviews/favourites this story. You make everything better! And now on with the show. I imagine this being set early series 6 for the Doctor (post Day of the Moon but before A Good Man Goes To War if you get me) and after an adventure that River was with them for but was never on the show. Got it? Good! Enjoy… **

"Why are you like that?" Amy asked suddenly as she sat down on the cheap plastic chair in the café they had decided to grab some lunch in.

"Like what?" The Doctor replied without much interest as he continued to stir his bottle of coke rapidly with a straw.

"Just so… I want to say horrid but that sounds a bit harsh. Short, maybe. Why are you so short with her?" Amy considered her answer thoroughly as she looked intently at her old friend, tilting her head to one side as she did.

"Am I supposed to know what we're talking about here, Pond?" The Doctor sighed as he looked up, clearly deciding that he was not going to be able to enjoy his fizzy beverage in peace.

"River, of course." Amy rolled her eyes as if it had been the most obvious thing in the universe.

"River?" The Doctor repeated as his brow furrowed.

"Yes. You know. Pretty girl. Curly hair. Travels with us quite a-"

"Yes, yes I know who she is." The Doctor snapped. "But **why** are we talking about her?"

"Because of the way you treat her." Amy replied seriously as she laid her hands flat on the table and watched as he opened and closed his mouth noiselessly.

"I treat her the same way I treat everyone else." He finally mustered but his eyes flickered away from hers, unable to maintain the contact.

"No you don't." Amy said simply.

"Yes I do!" He blustered indignantly.

"You do not." Amy repeated. "You don't speak to me the way you do her and I'm pretty sure not many other people would stick around if you shouted at them over every little thing, blamed them when things went wrong and generally questioned their motivation for being here." She raised one eyebrow as she paused to see if he would respond. "So what is it? Is it because she's as smart as you? Are you intimidated by intelligent women?"

"No… No! Of course not." The Doctor stammered as he glanced around the thankfully-empty café. This conversation was not going the way he wanted at all.

"Is it because you're not the one in control for once, because she knows more about your future than you do?" Amy ploughed on.

"Well no… I mean nobody would like that, the not knowing, the spoilers, and the hints at what we…" He trailed off remembering the kissing and the hands and the things that had definitely been more than _hints._

"So what? Are you really that afraid of having a proper relationship with someone that you have to constantly pick at her in the hope that she'll get angry and go away because it you ask me-"

"And nobody did ask you did they, Amelia? Nobody asked you a thing!" The Doctor growled as he stood up suddenly, knocking his drink over in his haste to get away from the table and back to the safety of his TARDIS.

"Look, I'm sorry." Amy announced sulkily as she walked into the TARDIS control room. She'd sat at that table for a good ten minutes after he'd gone, wondering if she'd gone too far or if there had been a better way she could have gone about it but then tact had never really been her strong point and he was her best friend and she was damned if she was going to stand by and watch him act like a complete git around a woman who had, to her knowledge, done nothing wrong. "But I stand by what I said."

"Amy," The Doctor sighed. "We don't know who she is. She's not some little kid that needs you to stand up for her. She's in prison. She's killed a man-"

"Where as you've never killed anyone, right?" Amy snapped. Her eyes blazed as she glared at him.

"Well that is… How dare you…" He stammered as he gazed at the woman he knew so well, wondering what he'd done to make her act like this.

"Look. I'm not going to get into this now." Amy sighed and she looked much older than her years. "I'm going to bed. See you in the morning." She walked past him without looking at him.

"I'm scared." He said quietly as she reached the top of the stairs. It was so quiet she had to question if she'd heard it but as she looked around she saw a pained expression on his face that reinforced that he had spoken those words.

"Well, you don't need to be." Amy said softly as she came back down the stairs and stood next to her best friend. "I mean just because you've never had a relationship-"

"Now, Pond, I don't mean to shock you but I have actually been in relationships before. I was married for a long time. I'm not a complete romantic disaster zone… Just most of the time." He smiled slightly at the look of shock on Amy's face.

"So if it's not the relationship thing then why are you scared?" Amy questioned quietly. She had thought she'd got it all figured out but, as ever, things with the Doctor never ended up being as simple as you first thought.

"It's the way she loves me. I can see it in her eyes. It's all-consuming, it's the most powerful thing in the universe, it's selfish, it's unforgiving. I know what that kind of love can do." He swallowed as he voice the concerns he'd held for so long now.

"You mean, from before? With your wife and…" Amy fell silent as the Doctor shook his head slightly. "Oh. Right. River?"

"River, yes." He breathed as he fought the desire to run away and never speak of this again. "I barely know her and all ready… Well, let's just say I worry that she loves me like I love her."

He thought of this love, the love that had been building inside him since he first met her, and he shivered. He thought of all the ways he'd planned to save her, to help her, to turn the world upside down if it meant he could just be with her. Every day he had to physically stop himself from doing something stupid and destructive to save the woman he already cared so deeply for.

"It's okay though," Amy cut through his thoughts and he jumped slightly. "It's okay to love someone that much. I mean that's how I love Rory and-"

"And you're stupid little humans and it's fine!" The Doctor snapped before quickly adding: "Sorry. But, I mean, think of how you feel. If Rory was hurt or taken or left you'd want to do everything you could to make it better, wouldn't you? Well I **can** do everything. I can and, if I let myself, I will. One minute of weakness on her part or mine is all it takes and I could tear this universe apart all in the name of love. So, yes, I push her away, I belittle her, I try to get her to hate me because what else can I do?"

"You could, perhaps, trust that you have the love of a good woman and that she'll be there to stop you in the same way you'll be there to stop her. Because you'd never let each other self destruct, or destroy the world. I know you wouldn't." Amy patted his shoulder as she turned wearily to walk up the stairs again. "Oh and you could also buy her some flowers to apologise for being such an idiot. Maybe some chocolate too."

**Reviews are good, yah?**


	95. Hot And Cold

Not One For The Diary

Memory Ninety-Four: Hot And Cold

**Disclaimer:** I jest ye not when I tells ye I don't own a thing.

_**Author's Note: A very warm, heartfelt thanks to all the people who have taken the tome to review either the last part or numerous parts as they work their way through the story. You are the bestest. This part comes from an idea sent to me by **_the-nose-and-chin_** on tumblr so I hope you like it! This is a younger Doctor/mature River combo. Enjoy…**_

"River can I just…" The Doctor pleaded as he tried to reach his arm around River to push the lever he needed but couldn't get to because she was sitting on the console. She was actually **sitting **there, just perched right on the edge of the TARDIS console. She just came in and sat there with her legs folded looking all…. And sitting on the console. **His **console. In **his **TARDIS and she was just sitting on it like it was the most natural thing in the world. How was she even managing that without falling off and still managing to look-

"Can you just what, sweetie?" River purred, cutting rudely through his train of though as she slid forward slightly off the console and stood with one leg in-between his own, rubbing her foot ever so slightly against the hem of his trousers.

"Move!" The Doctor managed to blirt out quickly as he stumbled backwards.

"Oh, sorry, were you trying to fly her?" River replied in mock innocence as she moved to one side.

"Urm, yes. Yes I was." The Doctor straightened his bowtie quickly as he stepped forward again feeling very smug at the way he had quickly taken control of the situation.

"Well, I mean obviously I don't know much about it," River's silky voice appeared in his ear as she snuck up behind him and placed her hand on top of his. "But I think maybe you should push it a bit slower, like this, she might respond better that way."

"Oh no it's fine I think I'll just use this button instead." The Doctor jumped as he hurried around to the other side of the console and pushed the desired button hurriedly, trying not to let his thoughts linger on the way it felt when she pressed up against him.

"Oh hunny be careful." River fluttered her eyelashes flirtatiously as she appeared at his side again and took his hand in her own. "You'll hurt yourself if you keep hitting things that hard. Want me to kiss it all better?"

"No, no! Urm no thank you." He mumbled as he flushed a deep crimson and extracted his hand quickly as it got dangerously close to her lips. "In fact maybe I don't need to fly her anywhere, not really, maybe I'll just stay here for a bit longer and go outside and have a nice walk and get some-"

"But baby," River murmured as she quickly walked around the Doctor, leaning against the wall of the TARDIS and blocking his route to the doors. "It's cold outside. Wouldn't you rather stay in here with me and get warmed up?"

"Right, that's it!" The Doctor announced decisively as he grabbed River's arms and pulled her upright as he began patting her down like a security guard at an airport.

"What on earth are you doing?" River asked in alarm as she looked down at him kneeling in front of her patting aggressively at her trousers. "Because if this is your idea of foreplay I can tell you-"

"I am looking for an off switch!" The Doctor growled as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because I don't know what to do with you and I cannot-" He broke off quickly as River dissolved into fits of laughter in front of him. "This is not **funny** River!"

"Oh, this is hilarious." River gasped as she dabbed at her eyes. "Oh you adorable man, what am I going to do with you?" She reached out her hands and he placed his own in them so she could gently pull him to his feet. He stared at her for a few seconds wondering if she was going to laugh at him again or kiss him and which one he would prefer.

"I'll go keep myself occupied, tell me when we've arrived." She finally said kindly as she placed one hand on his cheek. He stood there and watched her walk away into the depths of the TARDIS wondering how the mood had changed quite so quickly.

XoxoxoxoxoX

"River!" The Doctor called loudly as he bounded into the room he was sure she'd be in. "River we've arrived and… oh." He stopped quickly as he saw he sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep. "It may have taken a bit longer than I anticipated." He whispered as he walked forwards gingerly and sat down on the bed.

"River." The Doctor whispered again as he shook her shoulder gently in an attempt to wake her up. "River, I was wondering if you wanted to do the thing now… The keeping-us-warm thing because I was thinking and that sounds like-"

"Huh?" River mumbled sleepily as she opened her eyes slightly. "Oh no, Sweetie, not now. See this is what I look like when I've pushed my off button."

"Well I could always…" The Doctor gulped as he summoned all the courage he had left. "I could always see if there's a button to turn you on?"

River chortled as she grabbed his hand and pulled him down onto the bed with her, her arms wrapping around him as she snuggled into his shoulder.

"Oh, you're learning." She grinned.

**You know the drill. This is where I beg for reviews.**


	96. Till You Drop

Not One For The Diary

Chapter Ninety-Six: Till You Drop

**Disclaimer:** I owe pretty much everything to the Moff.

_**Author's Note: Hello dears, it's that time again. A gazillion sloppy kisses to all the people who reviewed the last chapter. You da man. This part is inspired by a request that **_Are we in Scotland_** sent to me but it has rather taken on a mind of it's own so hope you enjoy! This is a reasonably mid-time fic. Post TWORS but pre TATM sorta time (and they really need to make shorter episode titles in this show I tells ya). Anyway that's about it. Enjoy…**_

"Come. On." River growled as she tugged hard on the Doctor's hand, pulling him forwards past the many rails of clothing that brushed against them.

"But I don't want to." The Doctor whined, elongating his words and shuffling his feet as he had been doing for the past hour and if he carried on for just **one more minute** River was going to turn round and smack him one. Well, that's what she felt like anyway.

"Yes, I know you don't want to." River replied through gritted teeth as she tightened her grip on his hand. "But, as we have previously discussed, you need a new suit and it needs to look good and for us to find one like that we have to try different suits on until we find one that fits."

"But I have suits, lots of them." The Doctor grumbled as they finally came to a halt in amongst an array of eveningwear.

"Yes, but you need something special, something new and something that doesn't come with a ridiculous bowtie or suspenders attached." River breathed deeply as she began sifting through the piles of neatly folded trousers in front of her. She closed her eyes and tried to remain calm because she could hear, actually **hear**, him pouting behind her and she'd had enough of it. Whatever had made her think taking him shopping was a good idea she'd never know. It was the worst idea she'd ever had- including that one that resulted in her being found naked and handcuffed to the TARDIS railings by her mother.

"But you always said you liked my suspenders." He mumbled sulkily.

"And I do. I really do." River said gently as she turned to face him. "But this is for the very-important-birthday-party-my-boss-invited-us-to and I would, really, really, like us to make an impression that isn't related in some way to your bizarre attire."

"So not even-" The Doctor began.

"No." River replied firmly.

"And I can't-"

"Definitely not."

"Oh you spoil all my fun." The Doctor pouted once more.

"Fine. Right. I tell you what, you go off and look at the hats or whatever interests you and I'll pick you out some for you to try on. Just come back in, oh, fifteen minutes or so?" River bargained with him.

"Really?" The Doctor grinned brightly as he already began skipping away. "Ooh I saw a great multi-coloured one I could try on. But remember no blue or pinstripes- they don't suit me!" He called over his shoulder as he rounded the corner.

River rolled her eyes and sighed heavily as she returned to her original task of sorting through the clothes.

"It never gets easier, does it?" River looked up to see an older woman smiling kindly at her.

"Ah, no, shopping doesn't really agree with him." River smiled nervously. She didn't particularly like making small talk with strangers especially if it was of the 'what are men like' variety of chit chat.

"No," The woman nodded wisely. "Mine's the same. Nearly thirty and still can't pick out a suit on his own. Must have been difficult for you, strong-willed boy like that. And you can't have been much more than a girl yourself when you had him." She babbled on.

"What?" River asked sharply, feeling the colour drain from her face.

"Oh I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to offend." The woman looked shocked as she noted River's reaction. "I merely meant, well, you look so lovely and young to have a lad that age. I'd love to look like you, really I would."

"Oh, oh. Yes…" River mumbled as she stepped backwards so quickly she almost fell. "Well, I best be off. Better go find my…" River gulped but she couldn't spit the vile word out. "Better find him. Nice to talk to you."

River smiled a false smile as she began to walk as quickly as she could without arousing suspicion and being tackled as a potential shoplifter. Her heart was racing and her hands shook at her sides as she balled them into fists in an attempt to fight the waves of sickness that crashed through her. As she walked all she focused on was avoiding glancing in the mirrors that lined the walls. She knew what she would see, what everyone must see, what her husband must see. A haggard old woman covered in wrinkles and fighting grey hairs that threatened to show through at any moment. It must make him sick.

"Oh River you'll never guess what I found I just-" The Doctor stopped abruptly as he ran up to his wife, nearly colliding with her as he did. "What's wrong, what's happened?" His tone changed instantly as he searched her face for a hint of the problem.

"Oh, nothing. Let's go." River whispered quickly, her eyes darting back through the shop.

"No. Tell me. What's wrong?" He persisted as he grabbed hold of her hands and squeezed them tightly.

"It's nothing, sweetie. Don't worry." She grinned with an attempt at her usual bravado.

"Well look at me. I'm worried. So, please, for my sake, just tell me what's happened." The Doctor begged.

"Awomanthoughtyouweremyson." River said quickly as she looked at the floor intently.

"A woman thought what?" The Doctor snorted.

"You were my son." River repeated slowly- a blush rising through her cheeks as the feeling of mortification flowed through her.

"That's… Well that's just…" He held his side as he tried to contain his laughter. "That's ridiculous. I mean, come on! You look nothing, nothing, like my… And since when do you care what other people think?"

"Well I don't. I mean, it's not about what **she** thinks as such but it just made me realise, I suppose, what it must be like for you. And I'm only going to get older and soon people will be mistaking me for your nan." She laughed humourlessly. "And you're just standing there with your stupid non-aging face and I'm just-"

"I don't care. God, River, you can't think… I don't care about that."

"It's okay. I know what you must think when you look at all my winkles and my sagging-"

"I think you look beautiful." He said sincerely as he stroked her face gently. "Always."

"Really?" River asked quietly, a small smile playing on her lips for the first time in what felt like a long time.

"Really." He grinned at her. "Okay?"

"Okay." She giggled as the tension drained out of her and she lent forwards to kiss him gently.

"That woman is going to think you're kissing your son." The Doctor said warningly against her lips.

"I couldn't care less." River grinned as she wrapped her arms around him. She didn't care about any of it any more. He could wear what he wanted to that damn party. He could turn up in a deerstalker and a poncho if he wanted and she wouldn't mind. Let everyone stare, let them think they were crazy. As long as they had each other it wouldn't matter.

**Review if you would be so kind.**


	97. Drinking For 11

Not One For The Diary

Memory Ninety-Seven: Drinking For 11

**Disclaimer:** If only.

_**Author's Note: Hello dearies. Thanks for all your kind words and favouriting since the last part. This one is based on another idea sent to me by **_Are we in Scotland_** crossed with a very bad joke I heard the other day. The title, if you are wondering, is the title of a song by **_The Mad Caddies _**and I find the lyrics fit very well but I shall not bore you with them now. This is set post TATM for both the Doctor and River. Enjoy…**_

"Thank you so much for coming." The young bartender rushed forward as the doors swung open and River walked briskly through, the click of her heels resounding around the almost empty room as she did. "I'm sorry to bother you but I didn't know who else to call and-"

"It's fine, darling." She smiled briefly at him before her eyes fell upon the only other figure in the room- a man slumped at the bar, his head in his hands as his legs wobbled dangerously. "What's he been doing?"

"Just the usual. Singing sad songs, scaring off all the other customers. But it's well past closing time and I need to get home, River." He pleaded.

"Leave it to me." River sighed as she rolled up her sleeves and stepped forward determinedly. "So, come here often?" She asked lightly as she sat down on the vacant stool next to he slumped figure she knew so well.

"Go away m'busy." The Doctor slurred. She would say this was unlike him but since he'd lost her parents, his best friends, she'd found herself quickly redefining her ideas of "what the Doctor would do". And apparently now he would enjoy drinking himself stupid in a bar in the middle of nowhere.

"This isn't going to help, it won't take away the pain." River continued gently as she placed a hand on his arm.

"You don't know that." He growled as he snatched his arm away and looked up at her with unfocused eyes. "You don't know anything about me. I needs another drinks."

"Oh, trust me, I know far more that you'd ever believe." River laughed humourlessly. "And you really don't."

"Well, I don't care." The Doctor replied like a petulant child. "I don't care about you. Go away."

"D-Doctor?" River gasped. "Do you know who I am?"

"No, and I don't want to." He mumbled as he reached blindly in front of him for the drink that had been taken away a long time ago. River tried to blink back the tears that hearing these words automatically triggered. It was just the amount of alcohol that whirred around his unaccustomed body that was causing him not to recognise her, she knew that, but part of her also knew that one day he would feel like this all of his own accord. One day she would mean nothing to him.

"Well, be that as it may," River coughed and quickly put her firm voice back on. "This is not helping, let me get you out of here."

"They're gone. All gone." The Doctor wailed as he swayed violently and River automatically put out an arm to catch him. "All my Ponds. All gone."

"But there must be someone left." River said desperately. She wanted him to remember her, to remember that he wasn't all alone.

"No. Amy's gone, my bestest and most brilliant ginger, all gone. Rory's gone- the boy who waited, all those years and now just gone. And my Pond, my girl, she… She's gone. She might be here now but I know what happens, I know-"

"Well that's enough of that!" River barked firmly, making him jump. Her heart hammered at what he'd almost let slip, what she'd almost found out. Some things cannot be forgotten and once you hear your future there was no escaping it. No undoing it. Only running from it. And she didn't want to start running yet. "Let me help you out of here."

"I am the ongoing… no, the upcoming… no, the oncoming storm!" He announced as he pushed himself up quickly. "I require help from no one!"

"You are an oncoming bloody disaster." River rolled her eyes as she put her arm around his waist to stop him falling face-first on to the carpet. "C'mon, let's get you home."

"I am not going home with you!" He replied indignantly. "Get your hands off me, I have a wife you know!"

"Oh, do you really?" River smiled, the absurdity of the situation suddenly hitting her.

"Oh yes. Very pretty, good hair. She'd kick your arse easily." He slurred as he stumbled against her.

"Oh I'm sure she wouldn't mind little old me." River tried not to laugh.

"You clearly don't know my wife." He mumbled sleepily as his head lolled against her shoulder.

"Clearly not." River grinned. "Tell you what, how about I take you to her instead? Then she can have all the fun of holding your hair while you're sick and listening to you whining like a baby in the morning."

"Yeah, tha' sounds good." He smiled crookedly as he lent more heavily on the woman beside him. "Take me to my River. Take me home."

**Reviews are lavly.**


	98. What's Good For You

Not One For The Diary

Memory Ninety-Eight: What's Good For You

**Disclaimer:** the BBC is almighty and I am alnothingy.

_**Author's Note: You guuuuys, thanks for the reviews & such! This part is actually based on a Twilight quote (hush, I like Twilight, do not throw things at me) but don't let that put you off as it's not at all related! This is an older Doctor/younger River piece. Enjoy…**_

River drummed her fingers angrily as she glared out of the train window, watching the rain splatter and feeling the anger bubbling in her stomach and threatening to gurgle up into her throat and make her scream obscenities at everyone in the carriage with her. Thankfully it was a relatively short journey she was taking and she'd so far managed to imagine calm country scenery, counted to very high numbers and inhaled several deep breaths to keep the anger at bay so she didn't explode at the innocent people that surrounded her but, instead, reserved her anger for the very deserving man she would meet once this train stopped.

And stop, of course, it did. River hauled herself out of her seat, straightened her skirt, tightened her lips and began to walk briskly to the place she knew she would find him. The rain, politely, had stopped for her and instead a gust of wind blew in her face- making her hair billow behind her and making her appearance as she kicked open the door of a run-down barn in which a man and his TARDIS stood seem all the more dramatic.

"Well?" She asked icily as she stepped forwards, her arms tightly folded around her and her eyes flashing dangerously.

"River! You're back!" The Doctor announced with an unnatural level of enthusiasm. "I didn't expect you so soon."

"Yes I know you bloody well didn't." River hissed as she continued towards him, her elbows clamping down hard on her arms as if she was afraid they would spring free and hit the man in front of her of their own accord. "I gathered that much from the way you ran off and left me stranded in the middle of Wales."

"Ah yes, well, urm…" He scratched his neck uncomfortably. "Well I had to get back here to check how the refuelling was going and you knew where I was and you were in good company with Sean."

"Yes. Sean." River said pointedly as she stood in front of him.

"Nice bloke, isn't he?" The Doctor asked in an attempt at an innocent voice as he fiddled with his sonic screwdriver and looked anywhere but at the woman in front of him.

"Yes, lovely. Right up until he tried to kiss me." River glowered.

"Kiss you? Oh I wonder why he would do that?" The Doctor continued in the same false voice.

"Well he seemed to have this idea that me and him were going on a date. In fact he told me that **you** had told him that** I** was interested in him and wanted to… what was it? Oh yes. That I wanted to skype and have cream cakes." Her foot began to tap quickly and if looks could kill then the man in tweed would have spontaneously combusted right there and then. "Well? Don't you have **anything** to say?"

"He's a good guy and he likes you." The Doctor mumbled as he scuffed his shoe against the dirty floor.

"Well I don't like him and I have a good guy, thank you very much." Her words were kind but her voice was still harsh.

"I am not a good guy. You deserve better." He spoke so quietly she almost couldn't hear him.

"Oh for God's sake not this again!" River snapped as she threw her hands up in the air and turned away from him. "When will you learn to drop this?"

"He could give you so much more than I could. Normality, babies-"

"And if I don't want any of that? You never ask, do you? Just too concerned with what you think I should be to even care what it is that I actually want. Just accept that this is the way it is. We're married. You love me and I love you. That's it." She breathed deeply.

"Sometimes you have to learn to love what's good for you, River." His eyes pleaded with her as he reached out his hand for hers.

"That is such crap!" River shouted as she snatched her arm away. "You are what's good for me. You make me better, make me feel like I belong. You make me happy and you want to take that away just because you are set on this path of self-destruction, because you think that you hurt everyone you come into contact with and because, deep down, you don't believe that you deserve to have someone who makes you happy. Well it stops now. I can decide what's good for me by myself and if you ever, ever, play a stupid trick on me like this again I'll… I'll tell my dad!"

"Ooh no, not the Roman!" The Doctor replied in mock fear as he rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I'll tell my mum then." River smirked.

"Oh God, don't tell Amy." The Doctor paled at the thought.

"I will. I mean it." River looked levelly at him. "Do you understand me?"

"Yes. Understood, dear." He glanced down at the floor guiltily. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you better be." River sighed as she sat back onto an old chair propped up in the corner. "And the light bulb on top needs changing."

**Review? Yes please.**


	99. So This Is Christmas

Not One For The Diary

Memory Ninety-Nine: So This Is Christmas

**Disclaimer:** Doctor Who belongs to the BBC and Christmas, I believe, has been bought by cocacola..

_**Author's Note: So, yesah. I would like to give a big sloppy kiss to everybody who has reviewed my story. I LAVS YA. This is going to be my last part before Christmas so I would like to give it to you all (not like that. You dirty beggars)as a little present from me to you because you are all wonderful and fabulous and, yeah. That. This is an early Doctor/older River- I imagine it being early s6 for the Doctor, so he's had the first kiss but not a lot else. Enjoy…**_

"So, this is Christmas, and what have you done?" River sang as they sashayed back towards the TARDIS. Both of them looked thoroughly ruffled- their hair was messed up, their clothes muddy but small smiles playing on their tired faces. "Well, as you asked, I've stopped a fleet of Shakara that had invaded the government and avoided the destruction of the world by generally being amazingly clever. All before the Eastenders' Christmas special. What about you?"

"Oh not much. Just the usual." The Doctor laughed as they stopped outside the blue doors they both knew so well. He leaned casually against it as he fiddled nervously with his braces.

"Every time. Every single time on Christmas day." River groaned. "Do you think they do it just because they know everyone will be too busy eating to notice a massive explosion outside?"

"Very possibly." He laughed.

"Well at least we've got the rest of the holidays to enjoy. How about mince pies and tea all day tomorrow? We can watch The Snowman if you want." River smiled.

"The Snowman! That's my favourite!" The Doctor beamed.

"I know, Sweetie." River smiled gently.

"But, I mean, I can't… I don't… I have to go." He stuttered, not making eye contact with her.

"Oh right." River stepped back, startled. "It's just usually-" She shook her head- forcing her mouth shut before she said anything she shouldn't.

"Usually what?" The Doctor asked, questions dancing in his eyes.

"Oh, nothing. Doesn't matter." He looked back at her and her usual smile was fixed to her face- all traces of pain wiped from it.

"I don't, River. It's not you. It's just a thing. I don't do Christmas. I come and I save the day but I don't **stay**." He rambled.

"No, no. Of course not." River agreed and tried to restrain the urge to roll her eyes. "But you're missing out."

"Yes. I know. Mince pies and that." The Doctor did roll his eyes as if, compared to his usual hustle-and-bustle lifestyle, mince pies were nothing.

"Yes, mince pies." River replied cheekily. "And trips to the pub, and opening presents and new pyjamas and staying up later on New Year's Eve. You really don't know what you're missing."

"New Year's Eve? There's a thing about it being a new year?" The Doctor asked curiously, his eyes lighting up in the way they always did when he thought he was about to learn something new about the planet that was so close to his hearts.

"Of course! There's drinking and dancing and singing and everyone gets together just before the turn of midnight and they count down and then… Oh, never mind." River stopped suddenly.

"Never mind what?" The Doctor asked quickly with the air of a child who is being denied a treat.

"It doesn't matter. I can find someone else." River answered as she examined her fingernails in an attempt to appear casual.

"Find someone else to do what?" The Doctor whined.

"Oh. Just someone else to kiss." River grinned as she watched his jaw drop.

"To… To what?" He gaped.

"To kiss. That's what happens after the countdown, you find someone to kiss. It's a tradition and I thought maybe… But I'm sure I can find someone else." She smiled slightly.

"Oh. Well, no. I mean…" The Doctor cleared his throat as he scratched at his neck nervously. "Seeing as I'm already here, I might as well stay. And I've never seen a New Year party before, so that'd be something."

"Great!" River grinned.

"Yeah, great." The Doctor repeated, a small smile creeping onto his face.

"So want to get a room somewhere, get some mince pies and not move for the next few hours?" River linked her arm through his as she dragged him forwards, away from the safety of his TARDIS.

"And did you say there would be presents, and pyjamas?" He asked uncertainly.

"Oh, you better believe it!" River laughed. "Sounds good, huh?"

"Sounds like the best." The Doctor grinned.

"Well, it is me. What else did you expect?" River smirked.

"Nothing at all. You are the best, River Song. The very best." He kissed the top of her head lightly.

"You better believe it." River nudged him in the ribs and they laughed as they walked off into the unknown.

**You really should review. It's Christmas. **


	100. Not Rome Not Juliet

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred: Not Romeo, Not Juliet

**Disclaimer: **Not mine x100

_**Author's Note: Oh my days, 100 parts! That is truly crazy. I have been racking my brains trying to think of something extra special to write about to for this occasion… and I've come up with nothing! So you can have this part instead. I would very much, from the bottom of my heart, like to thank everyone who's come along for this very long ride- you make my whole life. This is a later Doctor & later River episode, set post-Pond departure. Enjoy**_…

"River?" The Doctor called loudly as he skipped forward, his voice echoing off the high stone walls as he did. "Riiiiver Song where are you hi-" He stopped abruptly as he rounded a corner, his breath catching in his throat as he did. "River. River. River."

He repeated her name like a mantra as he ran forwards, nearly falling over his feet as he did. It felt like his hearts were beating in his throat as he reached the table in the centre of the room on which his whole attention was focused. She was there, her, River, his reason for being. And yet she looked so very wrong. She was laid out on the table, her hands clasped unnaturally in her lap and her eyes were closed as if she were sleeping but he knew, before he'd even touched her, that she was not asleep. No reassuring rise or fall of her chest could be seen, no comforting breath fell from her lips.

"No, no. God no." The Doctor whispered as he sank to his knees, tears blurring his vision as he grasped forward to cling to her wrist in the vain hope a pulse would become detectable. "This cannot be, not like this. It can't. Please, no. River, no." He sobbed as he banged his head on the cold stone in front of him. "Time cannot be re-written like this!" He bellowed angrily to an empty room which cared not for his suffering.

Tears rolled down his face, ugly and unstoppable, as he remained kneeling in silent prayer in front of the woman he would give anything to save. He'd already seen her die once, and a million times in his dreams after, but he'd always thought that someway, somehow, he'd be able to change it- to save her. But now that one chance, that one thing he'd been clinging on to for so long, had been taken away from him. Nothing was fair or right or good any more and he couldn't, he just couldn't, carry on. He didn't want to even try any more.

The Doctor breathed deeply. He tried to control his crying, to master his pain, as he pulled himself to his feet once more. He looked at her lying there, so peaceful and serene but so empty and cold, and he could see no way past this point: no tomorrows after today and no light at the end of this bloody long tunnel he was walking. So gently, hardly daring to touch her, not wanting to disturb her beauty, he climbed up onto the stone table next to her and wound his warm body around her cold one. Tears trickled gently down his face as he lay his head on her chest and closed his eyes. He would stay there, he decided, for as long as it took. He hoped he would just close his eyes and never wake up but he knew it would undoubtedly be more difficult than that but he decided, right there and then, that he would stay there for the rest of his days.

XoxoxoxoX

"Doctor?" The word floated on the air around him as he felt his heavy eyes lifting. There was something familiar about that voice, it made him smile despite himself. "Doctor what are you doing?"

"River?" He gasped as he sat up, blinking in the morning sun and almost falling off the narrow table they we both perched on. Was this it, was this death? Because if so it looked amazingly similar to life. In fact it was identical to where he had lay down and cried until he fell asleep all that time ago. Had it been so long? Were they together finally? He wrapped his arms around her and, to his relief, he felt solid, warm flesh beneath him. Really real, really River.

"What on earth are you doing?" River scowled as she pulled herself away.

"I was… God you're here, you're really… and I'm. Where are we, River?" He asked in confusion.

"I am in the church on my funeral table. What on earth are you doing here?" River growled.

"You were dead River." His eyes clouded up again. "I saw you and you were dead and I didn't-"

"I was faking it you idiot!" River shook her head as she swung her legs around and got off the table, leaving him stranded up their alone. "I needed to appear dead to some very nasty people who were vying for my blood and you weren't supposed to be here and what were you even doing up there with me? You weren't planning on…" Her jaw dropped in amazement. "We're not Romeo and bloody Juliet you know!"

"River… I couldn't… You don't understand…" He bit his lip nervously as he looked away.

"How could you? The universe needs you!" River shouted.

"And I need you! Do you think the stupid universe cares about that?" He yelled back as he jumped down from his perch and stood facing her.

"And you've got me, you've got me." River soothed him as she stroked his arm gently. "Look, I'm here."

"But you won't be, not always." He breathed sadly.

"None of us will always be here, not even you, my love." River smiled.

"But I have a chance, not like you! You have one life, that's all. And it's not even like you're sitting at home knitting and taking care of yourself you're out there fighting and risking-"

"Oh I should be at home knitting should I?" River cut across icily as she stepped back.

"Oh God that wasn't what I…" He sighed deeply as he looked at her. "You're okay? You're really okay?"

"I'm fine, I promise." River smiled gently.

"Oh, good." The Doctor sighed as he fell upon her, his arms encircling her as he held her close and tried to remember to breathe. "Just don't ever, ever, fake your own death again, okay?"

"I won't if you won't." River grinned into his shoulder.

"Oh, very funny, Song." The Doctor replied grumpily.

"Hey, come on, I always thought my sense of humour was one of my best qualities!" River grinned as she pulled back slightly to look at her husband.

"Nah, I'd say your best quality is definitely your great big-"

"Careful!"

"Personality. Of course. What did you think I was going to say?" The Doctor smirked cheekily.

"Oh shut up. You going to take me out of here? This place feels a bit morbid." River grimaced as she linked her arm through his.

"Always. Far, far away. Anywhere and everywhere you want Doctor Song." The Doctor smiled, trying to forget the sadness and the pain he'd just encountered.

"Good, because I really fancy ice cream." River grinned.

"Ice cream? Really?" The Doctor laughed.

"Yes, ice cream. I've just come back from the dead you're not allowed to deny my requests." River pouted.

"Right, ice cream it is." The Doctor laughed as he pulled her closer to him. "Any particular flavour?"

"Mmm…" River considered this for a moment. "Rum and raisin and mint choc chip!" She announced.

"Ah, I know a planet that specialises in those two!" He grinned down at her.

"I was hoping you would say that." River smiled as she lent up slightly to press a brief kiss to his lips before they continued walking to the TARDIS.

If you've never reviewed before now is a good time to start.


	101. You Only Hold Me When I Sleep

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-One: You Only Hold Me When I Sleep

**Disclaimer:** It aye mine, ar it? [that's how we say it in the Black Country dudes]

_**Author's Note: Wow. Well. Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words on the last part/any part really and an extra special thank you to people on tumblr who helped me through my crisis of confidence a week or so ago. Means a lot! My brain is kinda stuck in angst mode so I apologise about that but I've tried not to make this too painful. & it's an older River/younger Doctor one. Enjoy…**_

River moaned slightly as she pulled her neck into an upright position and rotated it try to get the crick out. As she did she looked down at where her head had been a second ago and saw the Doctor, fast asleep, sitting on the chair beside her with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She smiled down at him and resisted the urge to put her head back on his shoulder and stay there for the foreseeable future.

"Oh, sorry, sweetie." River smiled as she squeezed his side gently to wake him. "Didn't realise I was that tired. Was I out for long?"

"Ah, right, River." The Doctor coughed nervously as he blinked rapidly and tried to acclimatise. He looked down at his hands that were still linked around River's body and he jumped backwards as if he'd been burnt. "Sorry, I didn't mean to. I mean it was just… I didn't… Sorry." He coughed again as he scratched the back of his head and looked anywhere but at the woman in front of him.

"No. Right. Of course you didn't." River tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice and suppress the shiver that ran down her spine. "No problem." She smiled falsely and he beamed at her, apparently convinced that everything was fine and it was all she could do not to let the tears that welled up in her eyes fall and betray her completely. Her Doctor would know that her smile wasn't real- he'd be there at her side trying to make her laugh and work out what was wrong. He'd hold her and make it all okay. But this man, she had to remind herself, may look like him and talk like him but he was not her Doctor. Not yet.

"So where are we off to today Doctor Song?" The Doctor grinned as he danced around the console, apparently oblivious to the pain plastered across his companion's face.

"Just home please." River mumbled.

"Home? Don't be so boooring River!" The Doctor whined.

"I just want to go home." She replied firmly as she looked him.

"River are you… Are you okay?" He asked nervously as he rocked on the balls of his feet unsure whether he should run towards her to help or follow his instincts and run away. She looked like she was going to cry and crying women always made him want to run away.

"I'm fine. Just… Tired I suppose." She smiled a small smile and the Doctor frowned.

"Should I get Amy or Rory? They're good with these kind of emotion-y things!" The Doctor suggested.

"I don't need them! I need-" River stopped herself quickly and bit down on her lip to stop her true feelings coming out. "It doesn't matter, just take me home."

"Well if you're not feeling well maybe you need a Doctor?" The Doctor grinned as he tried to lighten the mood.

"Maybe, but not you." River muttered and instantly regretted it as she saw the look of hurt and confusion flash over the face she knew so well. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"River, have I done something to upset you?" He asked cautiously.

"No. It's not… It's nothing. It's not your fault." River gave him her best reassuring smile but the Doctor wasn't convinced.

"So I have done something. Tell me." He implored her.

"I can't-" "But you must-" "Really it's nothing-" "You're being ridiculous-" "This whole thing is ridiculous-"

The spoke over each other for a moment until finally silence fell between them.

"Fine." River grimace as the Doctor smiled triumphantly. "But I don't know how to say it without sounding ridiculously melodramatic and girly."

"Just tell me what's wrong, it'll sound fine." He walked forwards, sat back down beside her and patted her arm in what he obviously thought was a reassuring manner.

"Oh okay." River sighed deeply. "It's just that now… these days… you… well… you only hold me when I sleep." She whispered as she closed her eyes. "And that was a ridiculous thing to say and I shouldn't have spoken and I'm just going to-"

River got up quickly and made to walk towards the TARDIS console but the Doctor's hand closed around her wrist and prevented her from moving.

"I'm so sorry, River." He spoke quietly as he stood up and moved closer to her retreating back, closing the distance between them.

"No, it's me, I shouldn't-" She began.

"River, look at me… please." The Doctor whispered and she reluctantly turned to face him and let him pull her chin up until her eyes met his. "I'm sorry. I know I'm awful at this and you're probably used to much better and that I'm not _him._" He waved his arm to signify some vague future version of himself he longed to become. "But I'm not completely useless and if you ever want me to… urm… hold you then you just ask. So… yes… come here." He opened his arms awkwardly and waited for River to step into them.

"Oh God no." River bowed her head as she felt her cheeks flush and a crippling mortification sweep through her stomach and rise like bile in her throat. "No. Please. You don't have to do that just because I said-"

"I want to." He replied gently as his hands came to rest on the tops of her arms. "So just do it for me?"

River sighed as she stepped forward and let his arms engulf her. She closed her eyes and breathed in his sent that was so familiar and yet felt like it belonged to a time so long ago. She wanted, more than anything, to believe that this was for his benefit and not for hers. She wanted to believe that this wouldn't be the last time he held her tenderly. She wanted to stay like this forever and just let the world spin on without them. She wanted all the things she could never have and all the things she once had all at once.

"Please, promise me, that you'll tell me when you need something from me because I'm not that good at picking up the hints. Just tell me when you need me to hold you, okay?" He whispered into her hair.

"And if I say always?"

"Always works for me." The Doctor smiled slightly as he pulled her closer. "We'll start with always."

**You know the drill. Review?**


	102. The Weather Outside Is Frightful

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Two: The Weather Outside Is Frightful

**Disclaimer:** Nothing belongs to moi.

_**Author's Note: Hellllo. A bazillion thanks to all who have reviewed/favourited/read the last chapter. This little one is inspired by the copious amounts of white stuff that has been falling on my country this last week. & it is a mid-time fic. Enjoy… **_

"Nope, sorry River. Nothing doing." The Doctor announced as he bounded back into the bedroom where River lay in bed absent-mindedly picking at her nails.

"Nothing doing?" River repeated in confusion.

"Nope. Nothing at all. So scoot over." He stood by the edge of the bed and wafted his hands in her general direction.

"I'm afraid I don't quite understand." River replied patiently. "You were supposed to be going outside to work out exactly where and when we are as opposed to your vague 'somewhere in the twenty first century' assessment when we landed last night and you were meant to be finding fun and exciting things for us to be doing today so how can the response be 'nothing doing'?"

"Well, you see," The Doctor continued as he nudged River back across to her side of the bed so he could slide in next to her. "It's snowing."

"Oh great! You love snow!" River grinned excitedly.

"No, you see, it's snowing in England in the twenty first century." He nodded knowingly.

"And is that supposed to mean something to me?" River raised one eyebrow.

"Oh come on River, know your history!" The Doctor teased. "It's a well known fact that as soon as there is a tiny bit of snow in England around this time the whole country shuts down. People stay in their houses. No schools open, shops sell out of food, no one goes to work… No. It's not a good place to be. Nothing happens at all."

"Oh but we could build snow angels and make snow men and go sledging!" River suggested eagerly.

"We could…." The Doctor replied slowly. "But I feel like I've got a bit of a cold coming on and over-exposure to cold weather would make it a lot worse and you know what your circulation's like- your hands would be freezing and painful in no time!" He sighed heavily. "I think it's safer all round if we avoid the snow."

"All right, fine." River said impatiently. "Well let's go somewhere warm and sunny then. Do you want to fly her or shall I?"

She went to sit up and move from the bed but the Doctor put his arm across her quickly, pinning her into place.

"Ah, no. Don't think we can do that." The Doctor said shiftily. "Too much snow y'see. It's half-way up the doors so she's stuck fast."

"Oh really?" River said sceptically.

"Really." The Doctor nodded solemnly.

"Really?" River questioned with a smirk.

"Would I lie to you Doctor Song?" The Doctor teased her gently as he played with one of her curls.

"Rule one!" River laughed.

"Yes but only about important world-savey time-line changey things. Not about _snow._" The Doctor insisted.

"Right. Of course. So you have no ulterior motive at all behind this?" River teased as she ran one hand down his side and enjoyed watching as he swallowed hard.

"How could I? I mean it's not like I… It's _snowing_ River!" The Doctor maintained, his voice slightly higher than he intended it to be.

"Of course." River nodded and pursed her lips, attempting to look solemn. "I just thought, maybe, (and this could just be me) that you might be using this snow as an excuse to keep me chained up in bed all day." The Doctor choked as River grinned wickedly.

"I didn't… I mean I never… chained?" The Doctor stammered.

"And I just wanted to say" River whispered as she lent closer to his ear. "That I do not object to that plan in the slightest."

"Right… urm… okay… chained?" The Doctor gasped.

"Most definitely." River lent back with her most wicked grin in place. "Your handcuffs or mine?"

**Reviews are my most favourite. **


	103. Fix You

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Three: Fix You

**Disclaimer:** I sold my soul to the BBC for some gold beans. Everything is theirs.

_**Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed recently. I still can't believe that there are people just finding this story who spend hours reading through all the crazily non-canon stuff now to get to this point. The highest of fives to you guys. This episode is an early River & post TWORS Doctor. Enjoy**_…

River and the Doctor sat at a small table in the back of a dimly lit little bar in deepest Ireland listening to the gentle lull of the twangy guitar and soothing vocals that the man on the tiny stage produced. They had decided, after the day's events, that they needed something low-key, something relaxing. So here they were. And here they'd been for nearly two hours. River had been steadily drinking red wine during this time and she was, although not drunk, slightly giggly and talking about things that maybe she wouldn't normal dare to talk about this early in their relationship. Plus her cheeks were slightly red, her hair messy and, all in all, the Doctor thought that she looked rather adorable.

"So…" River grinned as she swirled her wine around her glass. "What's your biggest fear?"

"My biggest fear?" The Doctor repeated as he smiled at her, almost shyly.

"Yes. You heard me mister." River laughed as she looked at him intently.

"Oh right. Well, urm, I guess that would be myself." He shrugged casually.

"Your… Yourself?" River repeated in shock. She'd expected him to brush the question off and not answer it or else to give a joke answer such as "a world without bowties" but what she had not been prepared for, in the slightest, was complete honesty.

"Yep." He nodded briefly.

"But… Why?" River stammered as she tried to comprehend what she was hearing. This man in front of her was the kindest, most self-sacrificing, gentle being she'd ever come across and she could not fathom what would possess anyone, let alone the man himself, to be afraid of him.

"It's kind of complicated, River." The Doctor sighed and suddenly he seemed very much his thousand-and-something years old. He looked weary to the bone.

"Try me. I'm very clever, you know." River grinned and the Doctor stared at her blankly for a second before a small smile spread across his face too.

"That you are, Miss Song." He breathed deeply before he continued. "Everyone who comes into contact with me is changed, in some way. Sometimes for the good but mostly, normally, for much, much worse. I pick up these people, these tiny humans, and I take them away under the promise of seeing the stars but often when I leave them afterwards their lives are ruined and the stars, well, they don't seem worth it any more. And then people… they give up their lives for me, good people, people I care about and I don't want it to happen but I can't stop it. Everyone looks at me, looks to me, as this great saviour of worlds and I try, I really do try but it seems often I cause more damage than I would have done if I'd stayed away."

River reached forward and wrapped her hand around his, her eyes glistening in the dim light of the pub. She didn't dare speak for fear of making him stop.

"I couldn't even save my own people." He whispered. "It was for the best, I know it was, and I had to do it. Like I've had to do so many other things but should one man, one being, have so much power? And even if he should, why is it me? I ask myself this every day and I think that I should stop, that I should give in and leave the universe to its own devices, that I should leave these wonderful little humans to fall down and pick themselves back up and not be destroyed, one by one, by me. But I can't. So I carry on travelling and acting like I'm saving the world because really I'm just a selfish old fool who's running away from his problems and doesn't want to do it alone."

The music stopped momentarily as he finished speaking and the silence sat heavily around them as the Doctor looked down at the table and regretted every word he'd just said.

"You're wrong, you know." River said quietly as the music started back up again.

"I'm… What?" The Doctor gaped. "I think, out of the two of us, I'm the one who would know the most about myself."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" River smirked. "But I've honestly never known a person be more wrong about themselves. I can see through your self-deprecating outer shell and I know exactly what kind of man you are."

"Oh yeah, and what kind of man is that, exactly?" The Doctor asked.

"A good man." River smiled.

"Well I'm afraid we'll have to agree to disagree on that one." He smiled sadly and River shrugged.

"I'll convince you, one day." She promised.

"If you say so, dear." The Doctor nodded along- anything for an easy life.

They sat there for a few moments both consumed by their own thoughts. River watched the man playing his guitar and the Doctor watched River watching the man. He wished, not for the first time, that he could be a man worthy of the wonderful woman he sat next to. He wished he could be that man she had so much faith in.

"So, anyway," The Doctor broke the silence finally. "We've had my biggest fear. What's yours?"

"You." River replied simply, not taking her eyes off the musician.

"Oh… Right… I…" The Doctor stammered. He shouldn't be shocked, not really, not after what he'd just told her but he'd thought, well, she'd said, he thought she'd meant…His head hurt.

"Oh not like that, you idiot." River rolled her eyes as she turned back to face him. "I'm afraid of the way you see yourself, of what you'll do to yourself if someone doesn't save you."

"River," The Doctor began through gritted teeth. "I am not a… a _damsel in distress_ and I most definitely do not need saving."

"You are so a damsel. Look at you with your pouty lips and your goo goo eyes and your floppy hair- you're like the definition of a damsel. But, anyway," River smirked. "That is not the point. The point is that you need saving and that I think I may be the one to do it."

"River… You can't… That's just…" The Doctor stuttered.

"Just think about it. Think about who I am. Human Plus. The child of the TARDIS. Your bespoke psychopath. I survived being raised as a weapon by the silence and I escaped. I made it all the way from New York to England as a child. I grew up beside my parents, never being able to tell them who I was. I killed you and I brought you back to life. And I did it all by myself. I am not someone who needs you to save them. But maybe, if you let me, I could be your saviour. What do you think?"

"I…" He gulped as he blinked back the tears and tried his hardest to unclench his jaw. "I have no idea what to say."

"Good, as it should be." River grinned as she patted his hand gently, giving his thoughts a moment to settle. "Now," River continued as she gulped the last dregs of her wine. "Are we going to dance or what?"

**Review? Ta.**


	104. And That's A Fact

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Four: And That's A Fact

**Disclaimer:** the beeb have been promising me I can have Doctor Who for Christmas for years now but they never follow through on it.

**Author's Note: Thank you to all the lovely people who have taken the time to leave me kind words in cyber space. I am very grateful. This episode is inspired by the song 'Nine Million Bicycles' by Katie Melua which is pretty fabulous so you should listen to it. Yup. I imagine this being a very early River, possibly the first time he saw her after 'Let's Kill Hitler' when she's an archaeology student & all that jazz. Enjoy…**

"River, what you did for me back then… Urm that was very… I mean it was…" The Doctor coughed awkwardly as he stumbled for the right words. Not that there were any, could possibly ever be any, right words for this situation. _Thank you for offering to sacrifice your own life so I may live. Thank you for throwing me out of the way and tackling an alien creature even though you barely know me. _No, somehow none of those seemed fitting. How about _please stop trying to save my life because one day, one horrible day, you will succeed and I will live and you will die and I have yet to come to terms with it._ More accurate, maybe, but still un-sayable

"It's nothing." River shrugged lightly, dismissing his concerns out of hand with one simple gesture. "That's what has to be done when one's in love with a man who has the habit of constantly and unthinkingly putting his life in danger."

"River, don't-" The Doctor began as he shook his head sadly.

"Don't what? Don't tell you off for your persistent lack of concern for your own well-being? Because there's not a chance that that will ever, ever-"

"No. Not that. That's fine. Just, please, don't…"

"Don't say I love you?" River asked, her brow furrowed.

"Yeah, don't. Don't do that." He said sadly.

"But why not?" She replied in confusion.

"Because you barely know me. Because you've only met me a handful of times. Because you shouldn't say these things just because you think that's what you're **meant** to say. Because-"

"The Earth revolves around the sun at a rate of 67,00 miles per hour." River cut across quickly.

"What are you saying?" The Doctor asked, baffled.

"The heart rate of a humming bird can reach up to 1260 beats per minute." River continued.

"Yes, I know, but why are you telling me this?" He persisted.

"The Milky Way is between 100,00 and 120,00 light years in diameter."

"Did you hit your head? Did they do something to you?" He asked as he stepped closer towards her, concern etched all over his face.

"No, of course I didn't." River sighed deeply. "Can't you see what I'm telling you here?" She gave him the look he usually reserved for his companions- the I'm-being-very-clever-here-why-can't-you-tell look.

"No. I mean I really, really can't." The Doctor admitted grudgingly.

"Well what have I just said to you?" River encouraged him gently, the way one would with a small child.

"I don't know. Just strange things, random thoughts that-"

"No. Not thoughts." River corrected him. "C'mon, think about it."

"They're urm…. They're facts I suppose." He muttered.

"Yes!" River grinned. "Those are all facts. And can you argue with them, challenge them or prove them wrong at all?"

"Well… No… I suppose not." He said slowly.

"And do you want to hear one more fact?" She bounced slightly, impressed with her own cleverness.

"I don't suppose I have any choice, do I?" The Doctor smiled slightly as he watched her excitement spread.

"It's a fact that I love you." River almost whispered as she stepped forward and placed her hands lightly on his chest. "It's a fact, a proven fact, that I will love you till I die." She lent up to kiss him gently, lips barely touching. "Anything to add?"

"Well I guess I can't argue with you there." He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her, sighing gently. Some things you couldn't fight. There was the coming ebb and flow of the tide, the changing of the seasons and the fact that River would always (passionately, inexplicably, desperately, loyally, consistently) love him. Far more than he deserved.

**Reviews = good.**


	105. Are You Mine

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Five: Are You Mine?

**Disclaimer: Not mine, never mine, sue me not. **

_**Author's Note: Hi you guuuuys. Sorry it's been like forever but here we are again. Hope y'all haven't missed me too much! Thank you to everyone who has left me a review (as ever) you are my besties. Right, on with the show. This is an early series 6 Doctor & an older River & was inspired by Lily Allen's "Who'd Have Known". Enjoy…**_

"Right, so…. this…. Urm. Well. This isn't what it looks like." The Doctor announced vaguely as the cupboard door to the cupboard he and River were hiding in was pulled abruptly open. The apparently not so secret and not so good for listening in on important conversations cupboard that they had thought it to be a few moments ago. He grinned broadly as he, once again, found himself being pulled out of a small, enclosed space by some angry earth-invading aliens who didn't seem particularly fond of him. Must be a Wednesday then.

"Explain yourself." Boomed the shortest and ugliest of the bunch who, it appeared, was also the leader. Yulix logic for you.

"Well… You see. There was a thing and we were running and we ran into your urm lovely cupboard and then the door got jammed and my sonic doesn't do wood so we thought we'd just sit there and wait for you lovely Yulixies to come and rescue us and show us some of that hospitality and forgiveness you are known throughout the galaxy for and we definitely didn't hear any of your plans for world domination but seeing as we're all here and-"

"Who are you?" The Yulix cut across rudely as he tightened his grip on the Doctor's jacket.

"Oh, me? No one important. Just a traveller. Bit of a tourist really. I wander here, wander there. See a few sights, buy some souvenirs. Just the usual." He babbled quickly.

"And the female?" The small creature growled once more as all eyes shifted towards River who had, a second previous, been attempting to elbow her way out of her captor's grip but fell suddenly still and grinned falsely as she felt their gaze fall on her.

"Oh she's… well she's my… I mean she's sort of my… are you, River?" The Doctor asked as he looked over at her.

"Am I **what** exactly, dear?" River hissed in annoyance.

"Are you… well… are you mine?" The Doctor replied as he felt a blush rise in his cheeks. "I mean I know you're not **mine** in the way that I don't own you because you are, of course, your own person in your own rights and I would never dream to imply that-"

"I really don't think this is the time for this now, sweetie." River muttered out of the corner of her mouth.

"I know but there never is a good time with you or with me and I know you can't say, that you can never say, because of the spoilers, but are you mine in some way? My friend, my companion, my…. Something more?" He looked at her pleadingly. He just wanted to know something, anything.

"Yes." River smiled. "I am yours."

"Brilliant." The Doctor grinned as he turned back towards the creature holding him. "This is my River Song and you are on my planet, threatening my people and if you hurt one hair on their heads then you'll have…. Oh." The Doctor trailed off as he saw the Yulix collapse sideways to reveal River standing there, beaming. He looked around and saw the rest of the aliens also lying unconscious on the floor. "Right."

"I do love it when you get all protective, and I really love your speeches but we don't have the time right now. Big bomb about to go off in the centre of London, only we can stop it, ticking clock- remember?" River grinned.

"Ah, yes. Well I mean I was just about to-"

"Come on then!" River laughed as she grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him roughly forwards.

"Coming, dear." The Doctor rolled his eyes but he couldn't suppress his smile for long. Him and his River off to save the day. Just like it should be.

**I loves reviews I do.**


	106. The Same Mistakes Again

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Six: The Same Mistakes Again

**Disclaimer:** I am borrowing these fictional folks for a few hundred words.

_**Author's Note: Well, it's that time again. Thanking you all deeply for your kind words if you have left them. This was (once again) inspired by a song- in this case 'Same Mistake' by James Blunt. In here we have an older Doctor & an older River also. Enjoy…**_

The Doctor stood silently behind the cold, hard brick wall that made up the back of this ordinary house. He tried to still his breathing, to silence his hearts banging so loudly in his chest because he couldn't be here, shouldn't be here, and one false move could ruin everything. She would be here any second, they both would, and he couldn't let her see him or hear him. Not yet. He was breaking all the rules just to make it this far. This was his only chance and he couldn't blow it by being discovered before he had chance to do… well, whatever it was he decided he was going to do.

"Did you _see_ James Miller?" A laughing Scottish voice floated gently on the breeze and the Doctor felt his hearts contract.

"James Miller? Why would I even want to see him? He's a minger!" Another voice, a voice he'd only heard once and so very long ago, chimed in.

"Yeah but he told Rory that he's, like, totally into you." The Scot giggled.

"Ugh." The second girl replied. "I'm going to have to punch him seriously hard just for thinking of me like that!"

"You need to stop punching all the guys that like you, Mels." The young girl sounded exasperated.

"They need to leave me alone then." He could almost hear the grin and the flick of the hair he knew accompanied this statement. Different body, same attitude. "As you well know I'm holding out for a spaceman."

"Mentally dating my invisible friend." She sighed. "And remind me why _I'm_ the one they keep sending to therapists?"

The girls' chatter continued as the sound of a key turning in the lock was quickly followed by the banging of the front door and the clatter of footsteps retreating upstairs. The Doctor let go of the breath he'd been holding as he lent back against the wall and closed his eyes. He'd made it this far. He could do this. He could-

"Well, well well. Stalking me now are you?" A voice right beside him made him jump and gasp and nearly choke all in one movement.

R… River?" He stammered as he stared at the woman next to him. "I wasn't. I mean how are… what are… you're here?"

"You weren't stalking me? Really? Because I can't think of any other logical explanation why you would be hiding behind the back of my mum's house while our teenage selves are upstairs. Can you?"

The Doctor spluttered.

"And, for the record." River continued with her arms folded and her lips pursed thinly. "This is your most stupid idea ever. And you've had a _lot_ of stupid ideas."

"Idea? What idea?" The Doctor bleated.

"Oh I don't know. The 'I'll go back in River's timeline and meet her before she knows me and change her entire life so she can be normal and never have anything happen to her ever' idea." River raised her eyebrow and breathed deeply and gave him the I'm-trying-really-hard-not-to-slap-you face.

"River I…" He sighed deeply as he stared at her. "I don't know what to say. I was just trying to do what's right."

"This." River gestured wildly to their surroundings. "Is never right. This is all kind's of messed up."

"I just wanted to talk to you, to tell you… To give you a choice." The Doctor looked pleadingly at her, willing her to understand.

"You are an idiot." River replied but her voice was softer this time, some of the anger ebbing away. "And you heard me out there. I was raised to kill you and brought up to love you. Either way my life was going to have something to do with you, how could it not? You can give me all the choices you want but I'll just make the same mistakes again and again. And would you have me any other way?" She grinned.

"I don't know. I'd have you… safe. Safe and forever. Even if it meant far away from me." The Doctor looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

"Oh Sweetie." River sighed. "Everybody knows that everybody dies."

"And nobody knows it quite like me." He muttered.

"But that's okay. It's okay that you hate it, that you fight it. It's okay that you're never okay with the idea of me, or anyone else, dying. But you cannot, you will not ever pull a trick like this again. Do you understand me?" Her voice was stern again and he flinched slightly. "Because I will keep finding you and stopping you."

"But you can't, River, I mean you really… You just can't. If you keep coming into contact with your past selves you'll blow a hole in the universe." The Doctor sounded genuinely worried.

"I know that. And I'm not my mother, I'm not going to pull time apart for some boy-"

"How did you…" The Doctor began before realising it was futile to ask. River knew, River always knew: anything and everything. River often knew what he was going to say before he even said it.

"But I am very selfish." River continued and the Doctor laughed. She was the _least_ selfish, the most self-sacrificing person he'd ever met. "I mean it. And to ensure my future happiness, to keep alive the memories we've built together- there's nothing I won't do."

"Okay." He nodded solemnly.

"Now I think we really should get out of here." River muttered.

"Oh I don't know. I was quite enjoying listening in to the snippets of the life you had that I never knew." The Doctor teased.

"No, really. We've got to go." River continued seriously. "Any minute now James Miller is going to come bursting through the doors and declare his undying love for me and then he's going to try to kiss me and I'm going to knock his front teeth out and I just really don't think we should be here when the police arrive, okay?" She shuddered as she began to pull her husband away.

"His what… the… police?" The Doctor repeated, stunned.

"What can I tell you, I haven't always been the essence of saintliness I am today." River grinned over her shoulder.

"So this… This is the _good _version of you?" The Doctor gulped.

"Ah well someone once said the good girls keep diaries. The bad ones never have time." She laughed.

"You only have time because I have a time machine, River." The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"What can I say? You obviously bring out the best in me!" River smirked.

"Yeah… something like that!" The Doctor called as the sound of sirens began to wail in the distance.

**If you could review I would be very thankful.**


	107. Just Give Me A Reason

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Seven: Just Give Me A Reason

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never mine.

_**Author's Note: Apologies for the delay in this part. my computer had been slowly dying on me but has now completely given up the ghost & as a result I am now on my husband's computer & cursing like a trooper because his keyboard is different from mine so all my typing is going haywire. Anyway, a few admin points: I have recently started a new story called 'Coming For To Carry Me Home' in response to the many (well, about three) requests for younger River/Mels interaction with the Doctor as I don't feel they would fit in too well with this story. This part is in response to a minorly-spoilery interview I read with Steven Moffat which made me CROSS but the part itself will be as spoiler-free as anything in Doctor Who can be. It is a version of River's first meeting with the Doctor & Clara (& just to point out that although I do not ship Clara & the Doctor I will not ever bash her because I love all the companions.) Wow. Longest A/N ever. Apologies! Enjoy…**_

"So… You found someone." River said quietly to fill the silence as she watched the petite brunette bounce off into the distance. Clara had gone off to get coffee or ice-cream or chocolate or something that the Doctor had asked her for but River hadn't really been listening because she'd realised that her leaving would mean she would finally be left alone on a bench with her husband. No running, no adventures, no inane chatter just finally trying to address the elephant in the room.

"Yeah, Clara." The Doctor grinned. "Isn't she great? I mean she's just so different and complicated and exciting, right?"

"Yeah, she sure is." River smiled as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. An elephant only she could see, apparently.

"You okay, River?" The Doctor asked as his brows furrowed.

"M'fine." River mumbled in reply. Of all the times to be astute, she growled internally as she shook herself hard. If he couldn't see it maybe it was all in her head and she didn't like that thought. Paranoid was completely not her style.

"Okay…" He scratched at his neck nervously while he searched for words that weren't there. "It's just you said…. I mean you told me that I should find someone, that I shouldn't travel alone and I have and-"

"And I'm really glad you have someone, I truly am." River smiled but it was still unable to extend beyond her mouth.

"You don't really seem it." The Doctor replied quietly, looking intently at his knees. He was scared of being shouted at or, even worse, of being right.

"I just didn't think it would be like… this." River sighed as she looked away, into the distance- anywhere that wasn't here and now and having this conversation. "I thought it would be like it was when you travelled with my mum but it's not, is it?"

"Isn't it?" The Doctor looked at her in confusion.

"No. Not at all. I mean I always knew there would be others, be more. I didn't think I was… I mean. I told you to travel with someone, I did. But I just didn't think you'd smile at her like you smiled at me." She breathed deeply, blinking quickly to hide the tears that clouded her eyes.

"I don't… I mean it's not, we're not… like that. There is no that. Well there was one time but it was a whole different Clara and even then it wasn't-"

"I know." River said soothingly as she stroked his leg. "But she's here and I'm not, never will be. Not all the time. Can't be. I knew it would happen like this, I really did. I just didn't know how hard it would be."

"What do you mean you knew it would be like this? There isn't any _this_ for it to be like!" The Doctor growled, fed up of being accused of something he wasn't doing.

"I always knew there would be someone else for you. Whether it was just someone to travel with or someone to fall in love with: there would always, eventually, be someone else. And I know this because…" River took a deep breath, steeling herself for something that wasn't easy to say. "… Because I love you more than you love me, and that's the way it-"

"Wait." The Doctor turned to face her quickly. "What?"

"Don't do this, don't pretend. It's fine. I've always known." River waved away his hands that tried to grab hers. "You love me, I know you do. But I loved you more before I even knew you than you could ever understand and I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, or to hurt you or-"

"So why are you saying this?" The Doctor asked stiffly as he tried to contain all the emotion that was coursing through him.

"Because I don't know if I can do this. And maybe if you loved me half as much as you believe you do you should leave me somewhere and never come back." River bit down on her lip hard.

"Is… Is that what you want?" The Doctor cleared his throat. He wanted to scream and shout and throw things at how unfair this all was because a minute ago they'd all been laughing in the sunshine and wanting ice-creams and now his wife was trying to leave him but he couldn't. Because apparently you had to let go of what you love and maybe this was some kind of test to prove that he loved her as much as she did. Or just that he loved her enough.

"No!" River shouted as she placed her head in her hands and remembered to breathe. "I want you to beg me to stay, to say you'll tear the universe apart for me, to wail that you can't live without me. But you can't, can you?"

"I don't know what to do." The Doctor whispered quietly after a moment's silence. Because she was right. He couldn't do any of those things because if he started to cry over her he'd never stop and if he threatened to tear the universe apart for her he wouldn't stop until there was nothing left but the two of them.

"Just give me a reason." River sighed. "Just give me one reason to stay, anything."

"Because I need you." He blurted out quickly. "Because I'm old and selfish and alone and I _need you._ And if I don't love you as much as you love me that's only because I'm broken and bitter and thought I was incapable of love until I met you but I do love you. I love you as much as I can. And I just need that to be enough. Is that enough?"

"That's enough." River smiled through bleary eyes as she lent in to rest her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm protectively around her, waiting for his heartbeats to return to normal. He closed his eyes as he felt the warmth of the sun shine down on him and the reassuring weight of his wife by his side. It was okay. It was going to be okay.

"So, here we go." A chirpy voice pulled him out of his blissful state. "Three ice-creams, only slightly melted. First one is… urm…. Pistachio and coffee, is that right?" Clara pulled a face.

"That's River's." The Doctor grinned as he reached out to pass it to her. "She does have some bizzare combinations, it's part of her charm." He pulled her close to him as she laughed and stuck her tongue out.

Clara looked on in confusion as she watched the two in front of her, so very different from the way they had been a few moments ago. There was clearly a lot more to this couple than it first appeared.

**Reviews are my favourite.**


	108. Cutlery

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Eight: Cutlery.

**Disclaimer:** None of it is in any way mine.

_**Author's Note: Many thanks for all your reviews ma favourite peoples. I loves ya! This update is an early Doctor/later River instalment. & that's all there is to it. Enjoy…**_

"C'mon then, don't just loiter by the door." River mumbled sleepily as she pulled back the duvet and flopped into bed heavily. It had been a long day, a long couple of days really, and she was so tired her eyelids were fighting against her to close.

"Oh no I didn't mean. I mean I wasn't… _loitering_ I was just urm…" The Doctor stammered from the doorway.

"Well, whatever it is you're doing please stop it and come and get into bed." River groaned from her pillow.

"Oh no I…" The Doctor gasped as he stumbled forward nervously. "I really like you River and I understand that we, possibly, maybe at some point in the future may we could-"

"Oh Sweetie," River smiled as she looked up at the nervous creature that had somehow managed to fumble his way to her bedside, knocking into every thing he possibly could on his way. "I am amazingly flattered that you think of me in that way, and yes- trust me- _we do_ but right now I am far, far too tired so can you please just spoon me?"

"Can I… what?" He gasped.

"Oh, please. Don't make this any more difficult than it has to be. Just come and spoon me and we'll deal with all the many questions tomorrow, yes?" River muttered.

"Right. Yes. Okay." The Doctor nodded quickly as he backed away, knocking over anything that had been left standing after his first trip.

"River… River…" The Doctor whispered as he shook the half-asleep woman in front of his gently by the shoulders . "River, I got you a spoon." He smiled as he held out a small silver spoon.

"Yougotmeawha?" River opened her eyes sleepily.

"You said you wanted me to urm… spoon you. So I got the spoon and now I don't know, do you want me to put it on you somewhere?" He waved his arms about alarmingly quickly, trying to decipher where it would be most effective to place a spoon on someone's body.

"Oh God!" River barked out a laugh as she pulled him down onto the bed, the spoon falling onto the floor as he flailed in shock. "You completely and utter alien idiot. Lie behind me and put your arm around me…." She wriggled slightly as they awkwardly got into position. "_This_ is spooning."

"Well I fail to see how this is at all like a spoon." The Doctor muttered grumpily as he blew River's copious amounts of hair out of his face.

"Well I'm the little spoon and you're the big spoon and we kind of… fit together, see?" River pushed her legs back against him.

"Is this some strange human thing? Is there a whole range of cutlery-related sleeping positions?" The Doctor pondered. "Do people also do forking?"

River almost knocked him off the bed as she doubled over laughing.

"What? What did I say?" He asked in confusion.

"Oh nothing, my darling, just that I'm never going to be able to sleep if you keep saying things like that. And, yes I will teach you all about forking one day. I promise." She grinned.

"Right, okay." He agreed in confusion.

Quickly River moved back and resumed her position lying against her husband, closing her eyes and hoping that sleep would quickly follow.

"River?" The Doctor whispered.

"Yes?" River snapped.

"So we just… lie here?"

"Yes. I will sleep. You will lie here. Got it?" River growled.

"And what exactly do I do with this arm? Because it's just floating around here." He indicated to his arm that was trapped between him and River.

"Just put it under me." River mumbled as she lifted her body up and he put both his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. "And if I even hear you mention 'pins and needles' I am going to-"

"Okay, okay. No pins and needles." The Doctor agreed quickly. "And remind me why we're doing this?"

"Because it is _nice._" River said through gritted teeth. "Now, please, can I get some sleep?"

"Right. Yes. Sorry." The Doctor pressed his lips together, holding back all the questions that raced through his mind as he felt her breathing slow and the tension in her body disappear. Her hands entwined with his and she hummed gently as her eyelids flickered softly. In fact that's a word he would use to describe her like this: soft. There was no sarcasm, no innuendo, no barriers. Just his arms around her and the smell of her hair in his face. He could see why people did this. This was _nice_.

**Reviews are fabulouso. **


	109. Fool Me Once

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Nine: Fool Me Once

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't sue.

_**Author's Note: Big giant hugs to everyone who has left me a review on this recently & anyone who has dedicated hours of their life to reading it- it means a lot to me. This part is a young River & older Doctor where they've re-met up with River post LKH so the Ponds know she's their daughter. Got it? Good. Enjoy…**_

"Oh, go on River!" Amy whined as she nudged her friend-slash-daughter gently in the side and grinned.

"But I can't! What if he gets cross?" River asked nervously as the three friends looked across at the man who stood fiddling with some kind of wires under the TARDIS console with no clue he was the centre of their conversation. River bit her lip as she looked quickly between her parents and the Doctor.

"Of course he won't get cross!" Amy waved her hand dismissively. River was still just getting used to this, just discovering who she was, and it was rather adorable but also completely messed up the brilliant plan that Amy had come up with.

"You can't know that. I mean I know it's nothing major but this is my first time travelling with you all and I really don't want to mess that up over some stupid joke." River sighed.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous." Amy snapped, annoyed that her genius was being wasted.

"Amy." Rory said warningly, his hand on her arm instantly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it's just… well. If anyone could pull a prank on him without him getting cross it's _you._" Amy smiled.

"Me? Really?" River looked across to her father for conformation.

"It's true. You can pretty much do whatever and then bat your eyelashes and make some _incredibly_ inappropriate comment for your parents to hear and he'll be putty in your hands. So to speak." Rory coughed anxiously.

"Well, that sounds like fun." River grinned and they both saw a glimmer of the woman she would soon be shining through the anxious shell that temporarily covered her.

"So here, take this." Amy thrust a tube and a piece of paper into River's hands. "And go talk to him. Just remember: he doesn't know how young you are, just be confident."

"You sure?" River checked as she looked dubiously at the things in her hands.

"Of course." Amy grinned as she pushed her daughter gently forward and she stumbled towards her future husband.

"Oh, sweetie." River began nervously but seeing the Doctor smile at her greeting put her somewhat at ease.

"Yes, River dear?" He beamed as he put down the wires he had been messing with.

"Here, I brought you that cream that the nurse prescribed for you." She handed him the tube of cream and tried to stop herself grinning at the blush that had spread across his cheeks. "She said if you put it on once a day then the rash and the itching should soon-"

"River! I don't-" The Doctor spluttered as he looked over at Amy and Rory who, to their credit, looked quickly away and tried to hide their giggles. "I do not have any _rash."_ He whispered pointedly.

"Oh have you not got it yet?" River asked, trying to appear concerned. "Well I suppose this once I'll be forgiven for giving away a little this little urm… spoiler to stop your future pain, right?"

"Right. Yes." The Doctor gulped as he shifted nervously, his hands automatically clasping in front of his crotch.

"Oh, no." River laughed throatily. "On your head."

"On my head?" The Doctor repeated in shock. "I get a rash on my head?"

"Oh yes, a very serious one. But the nurse said that it was just a simple allergic reaction to headwear and if you just stopped wearing any kind of hats you should be fine." River nodded and concentrated very hard on keeping a straight face.

"So I can… never wear hats again?" The Doctor stammered, looking crestfallen.

"Never." River sighed. "Probably be best to destroy them all, to avoid the temptation."

"I suppose… Yes… I mean, nobody wants a rash…" The Doctor muttered absentmindedly as he turned to walk away.

"Oh by the way, Doctor." River called out. "Do you know what day it is?"

"It's probably a Tuesday, but why is that important? C'mon now River, I have hats to say goodbye to." He grumbled as he stomped off.

River turned around to see Amy and Rory holding themselves up on the railing, in silent hysterics.

"Best. April. Fools. Ever." Amy gasped through her laughter.

"Oh no, I feel quite bad!" River giggled.

"Once you've seen him in a fez, you'll understand." Rory nodded wisely.

"And are you sure he'll forgive me?" River asked.

"Always." Rory smiled.

**If you have a mo, please review.**


	110. Since You're Gone

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Ten: Since You're Not Around

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Doctor Who I would have a t-shirt that says 'I own Doctor Who'. I have no such t-shirt.

_**Author's Note: Many thanks to all the latest reviewees. I am writing this in an attempt to stay calm about the spoilers for the finale, which are currently making my mind go into overload. So, shuuush. Calm brain. Anyways, you do not need to know that. What you do need to know is that this is a series 7 Doctor & a post-Manhattan River. Enjoy…**_

"Well, hello sweetie." River grinned as she strode into the TARDIS, shrugging off her coat and throwing it carelessly over the railing like she owned the place. As usual.

"Hello, honey." The Doctor beamed in return as he held out his hand to her and she grabbed hold of it then twirled beneath his arm before coming to stop in front of him. He kissed her hand gently and she laughed. "How's tricks?"

"Oh y'know…" River shrugged noncommittally "Tricky. But more importantly, how are things with you? What adventures have you been having since I saw you last night?" She saw him every night, he never missed one, but she knew that often the time in between her nights were far longer for him than they were for her. And this one felt like it had been a long time. He looked older, more worn out and he smiled a bit too hard when he saw her, as if he'd forgotten how good it felt.

"Ah nothing too big, I mean more importantly what-"

"Oh come on!" River cut across. "Tell me all your juicy gossip. You know I love to live vicariously through others… Please?" She pouted and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine, fine, fine." The Doctor waved his hand impatiently. "Well, we've had a battle with the wifi, challenged a God who wasn't really a God but thought he was a God and everyone was a bit scared of, oh and then there was this one time on a soviet submarine when the whole planet nearly blew up and… what else… Oh yes. A ghost that was actually a time traveller. Happy?"

"Well, that is a busy day!" River laughed. "And where's our latest stray? Don't tell me you've scared her off all ready!"

"No I have not and she's not…" The Doctor huffed impatiently. "I've just dropped her off at home for some rest."

"Why hasn't she got a room on the TARDIS?" River furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Well we tried that but she kept urm… losing the room. Sometimes with Clara in." The Doctor mumbled as River fought very hard to supress a smirk. "Oh shut up it's not funny!" He snapped.

"I never said it was." River choked.

"You didn't… You two…?" The Doctor looked hard at River.

"Hey! Not guilty!" River put her hands up. "She's a big girl and she can decide who she does and doesn't like by herself."

"Yeah, sorry." The Doctor scratched his neck and looked away guiltily.

"I mean obviously I'm her favourite, but who can blame her? I'm just that loveable." River winked and the Doctor laughed loudly. "So with all those adventures and two feuding women to deal with I bet you haven't had much time to miss me, huh?" She continued casually as she stepped up to the console and began to push some buttons.

"No, not really." The Doctor replied.

"Okay then," River looked up smiling. "So where are we of to-"

"I mean there have been times when I've thought 'River would like this' or 'I wonder what River would make of that' or 'I wish that River was here to help me shoot those guys' of course." The Doctor babbled quickly as River opened her mouth to speak again. "And sometimes I've really wished I could hold your hand or talk to you about stuff or just see you smirking at me from across the console room. And no I haven't been to bed since you've been gone because it's felt too cold and lonely and weird. And it's true that nothing is anywhere near as fun when you're not here. And maybe, sometimes, I get the TARDIS to replay our old conversations because I miss the sound of your voice. And I feel completely and utterly very lost when you're not here. But I didn't really _miss_ you." A silence fell between them as the Doctor became very interested in the nails on his right hand. "So did you urm, miss me?" He finally asked hesitantly.

"Nah." River shrugged and the Doctor's head shot back up, looking at her in confusion. "I'm not really that fussed on you really. Can take you or leave you really." She grinned.

"Oi!" The Doctor ran up to her and pushed her nose gently. "Rude!"

"I live for the days when I see you, everything else is just filler." She smiled gently as she lent in to kiss him.

"That's more like it." The Doctor beamed as he pulled away.

"Well, a girl's got to play hard to get." River smirked.

"Oh, is _that_ what you were doing?" The Doctor teased.

"Yes. Shut up. I'm brilliant at it." River nudged him in the ribs.

"You, my dear Professor Song, are brilliant at everything. And anyone who says otherwise will have me to answer to." He kissed her cheek gently.

"Ah, now, I'm glad you said that." River chuckled.

"Oh, God. What does that mean?" The Doctor groaned.

"Nothing at all. I mean there may or may not be a _few_ races out there who are a tiny bit annoyed because I broke some ancient charters or yada yada but I'm sure it's nothing you can't fix."

"What have I got myself into?" The Doctor sighed as he rubbed his forehead.

"Well it's a bit late to be asking yourself that now." River laughed. "Want to go back and change it?" She asked mischievously as she reached out towards a lever.

The Doctor snatched her hands away possessively and pulled her back towards him before she could get anywhere near the correct lever.

"Never." He growled.

**I feel you know what I'm going to ask now.**


	111. I Got You

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Eleven: I Got You

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Doctor Who I would be far more emotionally stable than I am right now.

_**Author's Note: So this one goes out to all my homegirls and boys who are having emotional breakdowns in fear of what the finale will hold for our babies. I, personally, cannot think about it for more than a few minutes without wanting to hibernate for the foreseeable future. So here is some fluff to take our minds off it. This is a post TWORS Doctor & older River. Enjoy…**_

"No." The Doctor replied flatly. "Just no."

"Oh come on, Mr Grumpy Pants." Amy laughed as she pushed him forward gently, in the direction of the stage.

"There is absolutely no way in the cosmos-" He began to protest.

"Well, you are the one who brought us here." Rory chimed in, smiling.

"Yes, but, I didn't…" The Doctor stuttered. "It's usually just a fun place with bands and stalls and jugglers and people on stilts and I didn't know there would be _this_." He waved his arms dramatically behind him. "Anyway, I thought you were on my side."

"I said I wasn't going to do it, that doesn't mean I wouldn't be highly amused by seeing you do it." Rory laughed.

"You'd be really great at it, you know." Amy smiled sweetly.

"Oh the flattery won't work on me, Pond." The Doctor said grumpily.

"Well it was worth a try." Amy huffed as she folded her arms. "And it's too late anyway because River's signed you up."

"She's **what**?" The Doctor snapped.

"She's signed you up, the two of you." Amy grinned. "Look, that's her in the queue. You're next!"

"I am not… I am so… Bloody River!" The Doctor growled as he marched across the room to where his wife stood, trying to look innocent.

"Oh hello sweetie." She beamed as he approached her, his face like thunder.

"Don't you 'hello sweetie' me River Song." The Doctor muttered. "What exactly are you doing here?"

"I have put us into the competition. We're doing a duet!" River grinned.

"We're doing a _what_?" The Doctor gasped.

"Oh, honestly sweetie." River sighed at his melodramatic reaction. "It's karaoke, I'm not asking you to kill anyone."

"I'm not doing it." He said resolutely as he folded his arms in protest.

"Well we're on in about, oh," She glance down at her watch. "One minute and I will be going up on stage to sing a song. You're not going to leave me all alone are you?"

The Doctor looked at her and River pouted and did her puppy dog eyes at him and he felt his resolve melt. That woman. He didn't want to do this, he really didn't want to do this but he knew he had no choice. He could never leave her alone, never let her down. Even in this, the smallest of acts, he was with her until the end.

"And next up on to the stage we have…. River Song and The Doctor." The man with the microphone announced. "Everyone give them a big hand!"

"So what do you say?" River smiled as she climbed the first step, holding her hand out for him to join her.

"I hate you." The Doctor sighed as he grabbed her hand and followed her.

"No, you don't." River laughed as she passed him a microphone and the music boomed behind them.

"They say we're young and we don't know, we won't find out until-i-il we grow." River began so sing.

The Doctor took a deep breath as he looked across at her expectant face.

"Well I don't know if all that's true 'cause you got me and baby I got you… Babe… I got you babe." He sang to her, grinning slightly and ignoring the fact that the Ponds (and undoubtedly the rest of the room) were staring at him and laughing at his very off-key rendition of a classic. He didn't care, he realised. He didn't care how much of an idiot he looked because he had this bloody crazy woman in his life and she made him do the most ridiculous things. And he loved her all the more for it.

**Reviews help distract me from the fear of finale day.**


	112. Time And Space

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twelve: Time And Space.

**Disclaimer:** I am not the owner of Doctor Who… Or am I? No, I'm not.

_**Author's Note: Okay, so this is the last update I'm going to be doing before the finale-to-end-all-finales and so help me I am terrified. I am sure you are all terrified too. (oh and if you do know any spoilers then PLEASE DON'T TELL ME. I already know too much!) It is my intent to continue this story come what may but the standard drill applies: if you never hear from me again assume I have descended fully into madness and am rocking in a corner cursing Moffat and all his minions. Anyway, yes, I'm not trying to panic anyone. I'm sure it will all be fiiiiiiine *shifty eyes*. This is an older Doctor/early River. Enjoy & I'll see y'all on the other side…**_

"Do you ever, _ever_ get used to this?" River gasped as she let herself fall from sitting to lying, her arms spread wide as she gazed up at all the books that towered over her, all the knowledge that filled the room.

"What, the library?" The Doctor grinned as he lay down beside her, his hand tentatively brushing against hers. "It is pretty impressive."

"Not just the library." River laughed. "The TARDIS, the travel, the whole of time and space at your disposal: anywhere and everywhere you want. Do you get used to it?"

"Well, I… urm…" The Doctor faltered. How could he answer that? How do you say 'well, before you came along I never really thought about because I never knew what I was missing in a normal life' or 'no matter how many wonders there are in the universe none of it takes away or even slightly fills the gaping hole I have in my chest from all the things I've lost'. There was no way. Not to her. Not to this young, bright-eyed and whole version of the woman he cared so very much about. So he opted for: "I mean, I can't go everywhere."

"Ah, so you lied to me Doctor, is that it? Tried to make yourself seem more impressive to seduce me into your box. That your game, huh?" River teased.

"No!" The Doctor huffed, deeply offended by the idea. "I just mean that there are some places, a few, not very many that I can't go."

"Such as…?" River probed.

"Well, for instance, I can't go back and cross my own timeline to change my past."

"Oh okay. I get it." River nodded. "But if you could-"

"I can't, River. I just said that." The Doctor sighed in exasperation.

"Yes, I know, I heard." River rolled her eyes. "But just indulge me. If you _could_ go back to one point in your timeline, what would it be?"

"Well I would… That would probably be…" A million visions swarmed across his mind. The idea of a Gallifrey he could save, a Time War avoided, a past re-written. But he knew it could never be, that even if he went back there was no other option, no possible way he could save them. Then he thought of having one last day with his family, with his children and grandchildren, but just the thought of them being with him for such a short time and then lost again, forever, hurt more than he could imagine. There were so many people he could see, visit, try to save, try to hold on to. But at the moment only one thought stuck with him, there was only one place he knew he couldn't resist the idea of returning to. "I'd go back to the first time I met you."

"Really?" River gasped in surprise. "But… Why?"

The Doctor bit down on his lip. That he could never tell her. More secrets, more lies. That was their life, and it always would be. But she didn't know that yet. Didn't know that everything between them always had to be so horribly bittersweet. He didn't have to take away her innocence, her enjoyment at their new relationship and turn her into the woman who had to be so strong, who had to hide everything so he wouldn't fall apart. For now he could protect her from reality, from the world that wanted to beat them down and tear them apart.

"Oh, spoilers, Miss Song!" He grinned as he leaned over to poke her gently on the nose. "But let's just say it was a very important day for me. What about you, then? Any point in your timeline- where would you be?"

"Here." She replied simply.

"You… What?" The Doctor stammered.

"Here, right here. This is the happiest I've ever been." River grinned and the Doctor smiled. Slowly he lent down towards her and their lips were centimetres apart when suddenly there was a very loud and very interrupting-y bell ringing around them. They both jumped apart and the Doctor yelped.

"Right. Well that would be urm…" he stammered in embarrassment. "That would be someone at the door. Someone with very bad timing at the door. So I'll go and urm… shoo them away and you… you stay right there- you wonderful thing you."

"Okay, staying right here." River laughed as she leant back on her elbows.

"Bloody people with their bloody timing and interrupting and if this is someone trying to sell me window cleaning fluid I'll…" The Doctor mumbled as he stomped towards the front door and pulled it open angrily. "Yes? What?" He demanded.

"Well, Hello Sweetie." River stood outside the doors and beamed at him, leaning in to kiss the surprised 'o' that his mouth had formed.

"River… What are you… You can't be…" The Doctor stammered.

"Well that's hardly a friendly reception!" River rolled her eyes. "I was in the area, thought I'd drop in on my favourite Time Lord but clearly I'm not wanted so I'll-"

"No! It's not that!" the Doctor blurted out as she turned to go. "It's just that I… I mean, you… well, we…"

"Oh, got another me here, huh?" River raised one eyebrow suggestively. "We really should figure out some kind of system for this. Tie a balloon to the TARDIS or something…" She smirked.

"No it's nothing like that we're just… talking." He gulped.

"Right, of course you are." River winked. "Well, I'll go find something else fun to do in this town seeing as I imagine you two will be busy in the TARDIS for a while." She lent in again, straightened his bow tie before planting a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you soon."

"River, wait!" He stumbled forward, out of the TARDIS and towards the woman walking away from him. "I just urm… I wanted to ask… urm, if you could go back to one point in your timeline-"

"I can't, Doctor. You know that." River said simply.

"Yes, I _know._" The Doctor rolled his eyes. "But, just for argument's sake, if you could go to any point in your timeline without any repercussions, where would you go?"

"Right here." River answered without hesitation. "To this messed up moment with all its imperfections and your bow tie that is resolutely lop-sided. This moment. Always. Every time I see you it's the happiest I've ever been."

The Doctor opened his mouth to respond but with a press of a button and a swish of hair she was gone, leaving only the wisps of dust created by her vortex manipulator.

She could have been, probably was, lying. She could have remembered the conversation they had all those years ago to her, that were merely moments ago to the Doctor, and echoed her words back to him to make him feel reassured. It was perfectly plausible that she was doing what she did best: telling him what he wanted to hear and hiding her pain, her real feelings. But it could also be true. And right now he decided he was going to believe it, believe her. He wanted so badly to think of a River Song who was happy across time and space, who was content in the moment she inhabited and wanted for nothing. He couldn't give her a happily ever after but he was clinging to the hope that he could make her, in each moment he had with her, the happiest she'd ever been.

**I well love reviews.**


	113. When i'm Lying In Your Arms

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Thirteen: When I'm Lying In Your Arms

**Disclaimer:** 100% not mine.

_**Author's Note: Right, so did we all make it through the finale? I feel we should do a head-count to make sure everyone is ok. Personally, I thought it was wonderful. I mean, heart-breaking but in a good way (like the Doctor & River are in general, really). I was so scared that he would invalidate their relationship but Oh. My. God. The Doctor showed how much he loves her and I just cried all over the place. Anyway, yes. In relation to this story I don't think it changes anything. I personally am of the belief that River will be back in Doctor Who again (call it denial if you will but I believe it). And considering they had hundreds of years together I feel I can still get a fair bit of mileage out of this story ;) so yeah, for future reference this story will span from her regeneration into River to the trip to the Library. Anything outside those timelines I need to write about will be covered in other stories. And I'm really rambling here. Sorry. This part is an older River/series 6 Doctor. Enjoy…**_

"Oh God." River gasped in alarm as she ran forward to the slumped body that lay propped up in the corner of the room. "Oh God. Oh God, no." She crouched down next to the body and quickly placed her hand around his wrist, feeling for a pulse and exhaling deeply when she found one. "Oh you complete idiot. What have you done this time?"

She began to examine him, quickly and more roughly than she would have intended but her heart was beating too fast and it hurt to breathe and she had to find out what was wrong and _fix _him. The stupid bloody idiot. He was unconscious, pale as a ghost and lying in a pool of what she assumed to be his own blood. None of this boded well. Gingerly she pulled him towards her, stripping off his jacket and discovering the source of the blood loss- a long, deep gash running down the side of his body. She bit down on her lip hard.

"Sweetie, can you hear me? Wake up, sweetie, please." River begged as she stroked his face and held him close to her.

"River?" He groaned hoarsely as his eyes flickered open. River breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank goodness." She mumbled. "Now, where are they?"

"Where's who?" He replied groggily.

"Amy, Rory… Or whoever you're travelling with. They're not here, we need to find them."

"S'just me." He slurred as his eyes threated to close again.

"See, this is what happens when you travel alone!" River snapped angrily, making his eyes jolt open. "It's a good job you had the sense to call me."

"I didn't call…" The Doctor trailed off.

"You said my name, you called for me. And I will always come when you call." River kissed the top of his head gently. "Now where the hell are those sisters when you need them? They should have got my message by now…" She tapped angrily at the communicator on her wrist.

"But how can you… This make no sense…" The Doctor mumbled as he looked up at River. His River. All hair and hugs and concern. Maybe he should get fatally wounded more often.

"Oh whereas everything else is your life is the epitome of logic, huh?" She raised an eyebrow and he chuckled for a second before realising it hurt far too much.

"This feels like home." He said sleepily.

"This? What? You're making no sense." River put her hand cautious against his forehead and gasped. "Oh God, you're burning up!"

"Well you've always said I was hot." He said weakly.

"You've got an awful fever." River ploughed on, ignoring him. "That's why you're not making sense… Well, less sense than usual. It must be an infection from your wound-"

"No, no. I know what I'm saying. And this feels like home." He insisted.

"This is a disused classroom in eighteenth century German, you've never been here before, this is nothing like home." River said calmly.

"No. But this. With you, in your arms. It feels like home. It feels like the only home I can remember."

"When I'm lying in your arms," River sang gently. "I know I'm home."

"What's that?" The Doctor murmured.

"Just a pop song." River replied quietly as she stroked his face, her eyes full of concern.

"Will you sing me more? It's pretty. You're pretty. I'm so tired River."

"Later, when you're better. I'll sing you the whole song when you're better but you need to stay awake. Come on, sweetie, please. Stay with me." Her voice wavered as she looked down at the man she loved. He was usually so strong and unstoppable and now he lay helplessly in her arms.

"With you? Always." He forced his eyes open, locked them onto River's face.

"They'll be here any minute. They'll fix you. They fixed me. They could fix anyone. I'm sorry I can't help but I'm no medic, no healer." She breathed deeply. "Never a bloody doctor around when you need one." Her laugh was shaky but he joined in anyway.

"I don't need a doctor. I just need my wife. As long as you're here I'm safe. Safe and home." The Doctor shut his eyes as he heard the footsteps approach.

River looked up in relief as the medical team came rushing into the room. She held his hand tightly as they lifted him off her and onto the stretcher and began patching him up immediately.

"Safe and home." She repeated in a whisper. "I'll keep you safe and home."

**Please review if you have a moment.**


	114. The Space Between Us

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Fourteen: The Space Between Us

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never mine, always theirs.

_**Author's Note: Happy River Song day my darlings! It has been five whole years since we first saw River, can you believe it? Doesn't time fly when you're in love with a fictional character? Oh yes. Anyways, urm. Thank you for the on-going support for this story. As ever, I fail to be able to put into words how much it means to me. This part is an early series 6 Doctor (post Impossible Astronaut, pre Let's Kill Hitler) and an older River. Enjoy…**_

"Do you even **realise **how stupid this is?" Amy huffed as she stomped across the room.

"Yes, we do. We also realised it the last time you told us." The Doctor sighed wearily, hanging his head.

"Well there has got to be another way." Amy growled. "There's just got to be!"

"Amy," The Doctor began patiently. "All you are being asked to do is stay in this room, stay standing and not touch anything or anyone until we are decontaminated. Unless you want to get a very nasty variation of gloop poisoning. Do you want that?"

"Well no." Amy conceded. "But it's been hours and my legs really ache and do you even know how hard it is to stand really close to someone you love and not be able to touch them? It feels all wrong." She shuddered slightly. "Yes, I mean you. Stupid face." Amy added quickly as Rory opened his mouth to protest.

"Well I urm… I mean I…" The Doctor stammered as he looked around the room, trying to find a safe place to fix his eyes on. It did feel wrong, she was right. Hours of being stuck in this room next to River had made him realise how much he'd grown accustomed to her touch. To pushing her nose, to grabbing her hand, to feeling her shoulder nudge against him, to the way her hair tickled his face, to the way she'd playfully hit his arm, even to the way she kissed him. Just the once, and to his great surprise. But now it had happened he kept hoping it would happen again and being stuck in a room with her and just having to look at her constantly and then try to pretend he wasn't looking at her constantly and thinking about the kiss and the possibility of kissing was driving him up the wall.

"Well, no. Obviously you don't. You and your strange alien-ways and not understanding the need for human contact." Amy rolled her eyes, sighing deeply.

River snorted loudly and muttered something that sounded very much like "yeah, right", causing the others to all turn to stare at her.

"Urm… Time should nearly be up now, if my calculations are correct." She smiled sweetly, trying to ignore the blush that was creeping up her face.

"Really?" The Doctor's brow furrowed as he looked down at his watch. "Because I make it that we have-" He broke off as sirens sounded around them and the lights turned from red to green, indicating the contamination period was over. "Ah. Never mind then." He mumbled quickly.

"I hate to say I told you so." River grinned as she glanced across at him.

"No you don't, it's your favourite thing to say." The Doctor grumbled.

"Well, maybe…" River chuckled. "Oh no, here we go." She sighed as she caught sight of Amy and Rory who had thrown themselves at each other and were now attempting to eat each other's faces after having been separated by an invisible wall for most of the day.

It was heart-warming, because she knew these two so well, had grown up as they fell in love and knew that she wouldn't even exist if they didn't love each other so much (or had any control over their hormones) but it also hurt. Because, in another time, she would be throwing herself into the arms of the man in front of her and he would be laughing and kissing her as he brushed the hair out of her eyes and muttered how much he'd missed her, that those few hours had felt like they would never end. But instead they stood across the room from each other, hardly daring to make eye contact. It hurt more that she'd ever thought it would, seeing the man she loved so much change to someone she could barely predict.

"Oh good, the kissing. Always the kissing with those two." The Doctor announced angrily, cutting through River's train of thought. He glared at them, these two people he considered friends, because they were showing him up. They made it look so _easy_ and really nothing could be harder. He could stride over there, just walk over and kiss her. Maybe he should. But was that what she wanted? Was that what he wanted? Were there signs, or things you had to do first? Was there some kind of manual for this he'd thrown out a long time ago?

"Did I ever tell you," River asked quietly and the Doctor jumped because suddenly she was standing right next to him and oh God what if she was going to kiss him again? He needed to be better at it this time, less terrified and shakey. "That I can read palms?"

"You can… You can what?" The Doctor shook his head, checking that he'd heard right. Of all the things he'd prepared for- that was not one of them.

"I can read palms. Tell your fortune. Want to have a go?" She grinned and the Doctor nodded dumbly. She grabbed his hand and led him forwards, out the doors, away from the sight of her kissing parents and onto a bench outside. The Doctor tried to breathe, tried to pretend as if ever nerve in his body wasn't screaming at the feel of her hand in his.

They sat down uncertainly, their legs knocking awkwardly against each other as River cradled his hand in hers, running her fingers across the lines on his palm.

"Just give me a minute." She whispered as she gazed down at his hand which felt so familiar to her but felt him shaking in a way that made her lose every bit of confidence she was faking. Her hair fell across her face and she closed her eyes tightly, trying to stop any emotion from betraying her.

"Is a minute enough?" The Doctor asked quietly as he watched her, as he felt her gentle touch. He wanted this minute to last forever.

"Oh yes, I'm very good at reading people." River looked up again, grinning. "This line here, that shows you'll have a long life. And this one means you're kind, but not one to be taken for a ride. This one shows you have suffered many losses but still have many reasons to smile. Oh and this one says… Hmm… It says you have someone very special in your life, a woman-"

"It doesn't say that! Does it?" The Doctor grabbed his hand and stared at it intently.

"Oh yes." River continued. "A very special woman… Oh and she has curly hair. And it says here that you should let her drive the TARDIS because she's clearly much better at it than you."

"River…" The Doctor began warningly.

"Yes?" She replied sweetly.

"Can you really read palms?" He asked sternly.

"Of course!" River tried to look offended.

"Really?" He repeated.

"Well… Maybe." River shrugged.

"Really?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, okay. No I can't." River sighed "But I maintain I am right."

"What am I going to do with you, River Song?" The Doctor scoffed.

"Well that's a whole different conversation." River grinned and the Doctor laughed.

"Oh, shut up." He chuckled as he put his arm around her, pulling her closer to him so her head rested on his shoulder, so that her hair tickled his neck, so that her hand rested on his leg, so that there was no space between them. He sighed as he closed his eyes. After a day of feel far too many conflicting emotions this, at last, felt right.

**Gotta love a review.**


	115. Not Goodbye

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Fifteen: Not Goodbye

**Disclaimer:** These are not my characters. Fact.

_**Author's Note: Hello dearies- thank you to everyone who has posted comments recently, you make me smile. And to all the new followers- hello! *waves* This part is younger just-in-prison River & an older Doctor. Enjoy…**_

"Sweetie," River sighed deeply as she walked across to where the Doctor stood leaning on the console and trying to look cool. "I don't want to go back."

"Ah but back you must go River Song!" The Doctor grinned. "Our adventuring has been done and your comfy cell-with-a-view awaits your return."

"I know but I just… I don't want to go back there." She looked down at the floor and bit on her lip anxiously. She looked so uncharacteristically unsure, so worried, that the Doctor began to panic instantly.

"What's wrong River?" He stepped towards her, closing the gap between them, as his hands instinctively cupped her face. "Has something happened? Did someone do something? Are the guards being mean to you because I will-"

"You'll _what_ exactly?" River grinned despite herself.

"Well I could… I mean I would definitely…" The Doctor blustered and River laughed. "Shush. I am very impressive and intimidating I'll have you know." He huffed.

"Of course you are sweetie." River smiled. "And it's very sweet of you to offer to urm… whatever you just offered to do but, honestly, there's no need. The guards are darlings, they'd never dare upset me."

"So what's wrong?" The Doctor asked in confusion.

"It's just… I don't want to go back. Can't we just leave it at that?" River snapped defensively.

"No, River. Talk to me." The Doctor coaxed her gently, his eyes never leaving hers.

"I just don't want to be looked at like that anymore." She stammered and the Doctor swallowed hard, forcing himself to stay quiet despite his rage. Anyone looking at River in any way that made her this sad made him fill with rage: made him want to make sure it never happened again, no matter what. "I mean I'm no stranger to prison, been locked up lots of times before. For stealing mostly… Never could resist a lock. And there's been some occasional damage to property, a few fights and every now and again they'd just bang me up because of my attitude but they never looked at me like… no one's ever looked at me like this before."

"Like what?" The Doctor whispered. Now that she'd finally begun to speak he didn't want to do anything to disturb her, to scare her away. But he had to know because he didn't understand how anyone could look at River with anything other than love and admiration.

"Like they're scared of me but they also pity me. Like I'm broken, not quite human. Like they're constantly trying to figure out what's wrong with me because I look like everyone else and I talk like everyone else but I'm not. I'm wrong. I'm a monster. Because I killed someone." She spoke quickly, her eyes fixed on a spot somewhere in the distance and although the Doctor was right by her, holding on to her, she seemed very far away.

"But you know you didn't River. I'm here and I'm fine and you-"

"I did." She cut across him quickly, shaking away his protests. "I killed you. Twice. And just because you're still here that doesn't mean it didn't happen."

"You had to River, to save time, to save us all-"

"That time, yes. I had a reason and I knew you'd be safe. But it doesn't change what happened. And before that… When we first met… I didn't know you'd survive that time and I had no noble reasoning for doing what I did. It was just murder, plain and simple." She spoke levelly, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"You'd been brainwashed!" The Doctor exclaimed. "You can hardly blame yourself for that. River, please…"

"I'm not blaming myself. But the fact is I am a killer, I killed. No matter what reasons there were behind it. And that's why people look at me like I'm wrong."

The Doctor looked at her for a long time, unsure what to say. He knew he'd never be able to convince her that she wasn't 'wrong' or that she had been forced to do what she did. The damage he'd inflicted on her, the scars he'd left on her life, they were permanent. He felt utterly useless and never before had he felt less deserving of the title 'doctor'. He didn't fix anything, he just made it all so much worse.

"Well then…" He said eventually. "You don't need to go back. I'll let everyone know I'm still alive and then you'll be pardoned and-"

"Don't be stupid." River cut him off quickly. "You need to be invisible and I need to keep you out of trouble. I made a promise and I intend to stick to it. I just… I just need a bit of a break."

"Okay." The Doctor sighed resolutely. Even when she was this young there was no point trying to argue with River: there was just no changing her mind. "Of course. You can stay as long as you want, forever if you want. Until you want to go back."

"That sounds great." River grinned. "So what should we do now?"

"You should get some sleep." The Doctor said sternly as he pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I'm not at all sleepy." River scowled as she stifled a yawn. "Okay… Maybe a tiny bit sleepy."

"C'mon then. Let's get you into bed." The Doctor grabbed her hand and began marching towards the bedroom.

"Ooh, we have a bed do we?" River laughed, her eyes twinkling.

"We urm well we…" The Doctor froze, panic in his voice. "Spoilers?" He attempted to brush it off with a shrug of his shoulders but River only laughed harder. "But we have… I mean if you don't know we have a bedroom does that mean we haven't…" He gestured frantically between them and looked around nervously. He knew this River was young but surely they'd already… They were man and wife after all.

"Oh, don't worry. We have." River smirked as she licked her lips and the Doctor gulped.

"But if you don't know we have a bed then how… I mean… where?" He gasped.

"Oh, sweetie." River whispered teasingly as she lent up against him to murmur in his ear. "Spoilers!"

"You know you over-use that word, right?" The Doctor grumbled, a half-smile playing on his lips as he lent forwards to kiss her.

"Isn't that a spoiler?" River smirked as they pulled apart.

"You. Shush. Bedroom. Now." The Doctor laughed as he pushed her gently forward.

"If you say so, sweetie." River purred.

"Always have to have the last word, don't you?" The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yes. Always." River grinned and she kissed him. Then there were no more words.

**If you can review, please do. **


	116. Epistemic Ambivalence

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Sixteen: Epistemic Ambivalence

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

_**Author's Note: Sorry for the lack of updateage for a while guys. A combination of life & writer's block has stopped me from writing anything. But here we go. Many thanks to everyone who has reviewed recently, you are darlings. This is an older River/early series6 Doctor & was inspired by an episode of 'the big bang theory'. Enjoy…**_

"More wine, River?" The Doctor asked innocently as he held up the bottle and hovered over her nearly-empty glass. She hadn't been able to sleep, he rarely slept and so she'd explained to him about the wine cellar she kept in the TARDIS for such occasions. That had been many bottles of wine ago now. Not that the Doctor had made much of a dent in the wine-consumption due to him having one sip, spitting it out and declaring he was sticking to Ribena.

"Well now Doctor anyone would think you were trying to get me drunk." River giggled as he cheeks flushed and she leant back in her chair. Her words were slurred and her eyes slightly glazed and the Doctor concluded that if he had been trying to get her drunk he would have succeeded. Not that he had been, of course… well, maybe a tiny bit.

"Whatever have I done to give you such a low opinion of me?" The Doctor gasped in mock offence.

"Oh many, many things." River raised an eyebrow as she slurped on her newly-refilled wine glass before giggling once again. "You are so not Mr-innocently-innocentness like you pretend you- shh!" She cut herself off suddenly, pressing a finger to her lips. "Spoilers!"

"Ah, but you can tell me." The Doctor said quickly, instantly realising how he could work this to his advantage.

"No, no, nope." River swayed slightly.

"You can, it's fine." The Doctor continued in his most reassuring voice "I know everything."

"You… You know?" River asked, her eyes wide.

"Of course I know. I mean, just for example, I know all about how we met when…" The Doctor trailed off, waiting for River to continue and holding his breath to hide his excitement.

"When I was born from one of the hanging cocoons in the gardens of Medula and you helped me learn to be human." River sighed happily, a lopsided grin plastered on her face.

"Really?" The Doctor stared open-mouthed at her as it felt like his hearts dropped out of his chest. He'd wanted to know, always wanted to know so badly and to be free from the power she held over her, but now he knew he felt hollow. It was so anti-climactic and he wanted to take it all back, to let their timeline play out the way it was meant to.

"No, of course not- you idiot!" River laughed as she pulled herself upright, her eyes suddenly regained focus and her words were clear once more.

"But you were… You…" The Doctor stammered, pointing back and forth between River and the glass.

"Oh, sweetie." River sighed. "No. I wasn't. I was pretending."

"But… _why?"_ The Doctor gasped.

"Oh if I had a bottle of wine for every time you'd tried to get be drunk to get information out of me… Then I might actually have a chance at getting sloshed. But as it is I just pretend I'm drunk before I am, feed you some lie, you decide you're glad because you didn't really want to know and then we have a cup of tea."

"Do any of my brilliant plans ever work on you, River?" The Doctor sighed but he couldn't quite manage to keep the smile off his face.

"Spoilers!" River grinned in reply.

"Don't you ever just get tired of saying that?" The Doctor asked quietly as he pulled his chair closer to her, taking her hand. "Of not being able to tell anyone everything, of having to keep so much to yourself? Don't you just want to get rid of all these secrets you keep?" He looked at her, his eyes filled with worry for the woman next to him who had to cope with so much and was so alone, even when she was with other people.

"Don't you? All your secrets, Doctor. All the things that you can never say."

"Yes." He said simply. "They weigh me down and I worry that one day I'll drown in them. But I don't want you to drown with me."

"But there's no way. The rules are that I can never… Unless…" River stopped for a moment, thinking hard. "I first met you when I was twelve years old, you rescued me from my home planet which was destroyed and now you and I are the only souls who remember it."

"River!" The Doctor gasped. "You can't. I mean there is no-" He stopped as River put her finger on his lips, silencing him.

"I first met you at college when I was studying Old High Gallifreyan and you were my teacher. I first met you when you when you came to visit my parents, who you know well. I first met you when I was born here in the TARDIS. I first met you when you brought me back to life using your regeneration energy after I tried to save your life. I first met you in a dream: your dream- and I'm not entirely sure we've ever left it. I first met you-"

"River, what are you doing?" The Doctor whispered.

"I'm leaving you in a state of epistemic ambivalence." River grinned and had that I'm-really-very-clever look on her face that infuriated the Doctor. "It means-"

"That I will be left knowing the truth and yet not knowing it, at the same time. I know." The Doctor growled.

"Yes. Exactly." River grinned as she squeezed his hand that was still entwined with hers. "So now you know one of my secrets. How do you feel?"

"I feel… Well I feel rather… I feel like I'd like a cup of tea." The Doctor sighed.

River chuckled as she leant back in her chair, watching the confusion play out across his face. "Go put the kettle on then."

**Please review if you have a teeny second to spare.**


	117. The Voice Inside My Head

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Seventeen: The Voice Inside My Head

**Disclaimer:** I have a great desire to own the Doctor & River but I do not.

_**Author's Note: Many thanks, as ever, for your constant support & kind words. This part is a young River (still at university) & an early series 7 Doctor, while he's still travelling with the Ponds. Enjoy…**_

"So where are we off to today, Doctor?" Rory asked casually, his arm wrapped around Amy's waist as they stood watching their best friend flit skittishly around the control room.**"**Was it Pralavile or Pralaytna-"

"It's Prolottyavile." The Doctor cut off Rory's stammering quickly, sighing and rolling his eyes because he was just so much cleverer than everyone else and sometimes it was exhausting. "Honestly, does anyone ever listen to me?"

"Yes. Of course." Amy intervened irritably. "You said it was the planet of the trees and-"

"No. I said it was a planet that _is_ a tree which is a completely different thing all together and… and we're not going now." The Doctor stopped abruptly, looking down at the console in alarm.

"What do you mean we're not going? Just because we got confused about the stupid planet doesn't mean we don't want to-" The red head continued crossly.

"No. No, no, no. Not that." The Doctor waved his hands dismissively. "River."

"What… Where?" Rory turned around, half expecting to see his daughter standing behind them, a silly grin plastered across her face.

"In trouble. Not here." The Doctor grunted, his face screwed up in an attempt to conceal the anxiety he felt coursing through him.

"But how do you know that? You can't just know things like that!" Amy's voice was slightly higher than she intended, concern about the daughter she didn't see nearly enough of creeping in.

"I just know. Well, the TARDIS knows and so I know. I can always hear her, always. She's just a voice in my head that never really goes away. And it's probably partly because she's the child of the TARDIS and probably partly because of… Well, it's complicated. Now hold on."

"Where are we going?" Amy screeched as the TADRIS jerked violently into motion, knocking them sideways as it did.

"The caves of Akion. And God only knows why she's there in the first place. Horrible place." He swallowed quickly.

"And which River is it we're going to see?" Rory asked as they regained their balance. "I mean is she a doctor or a professor or just a regular person?"

"I don't know. I never know with her. One minute she's one then she changes and I never know who I'm going to find on the other side of those doors but that's just her isn't it? That's just River being River and making my life confusing and difficult in ways only she can."

"Right. Okay." Rory processed this as he rubbed his forehead. "So the plan is we just go out there into the great unknown and-"

"No, no, no." The Doctor shook his head quickly. "Not you. In no way you two. Just me."

"But Doctor, she's our daughter!" Amy stepped forward- ready for confrontation.

"I know, Pond, I know." The Doctor replied soothingly, his hands on her shoulders. "But you don't know what's out there. It would…"

"It would what?" Amy swallowed.

"These caves they have incredible, ancient, magnificent treasure in them but it is protected. Protected in a way no one could ever get past."

"Doctor, what happens out there?" Amy asked in a low voice.

"It paralyses you. Not physically but mentally. The walls are full of a compound that makes you hallucinate but it feels so very real that you forget all you know about the walls making you hallucinate and you believe it's real. And the things you see… They are the worst things you could imagine."

"And that's happening to River, right now?" Rory asked as the colour drained from his face.

"Yes." The Doctor said quietly, sadly. He could never protect her. The three of them were all she had in the world and they never managed to stop the pain, to save her from the hurt.

"Then I'm going out there." Rory gritted his teeth as he stepped towards the TARDIS doors.

"Rory, no. It won't help!" The Doctor called as he lunged forwards and pulled the other man back. "You'll be no good to her out there and if I have to save you as well it will take away from the time I have to save her, understand?"

"So it won't affect you? Why not?" Amy asked quietly as she walked up to where the two men stood.

"Everything bad I could think of, every worst case scenario, every death or loss or misery you can imagine… It's already all right here in my head. I see everything. Everything that ever was, everything that ever could be. There is nothing worse than what goes on in my head."

Silence followed his speech as Amy and Rory stared at each other, stunned and unsure what to do.

"Go then." Amy nodded finally. "You go and you get her and you bring her back to us, okay?"

The Doctor nodded as he quickly pressed a kiss to his best friend's forehead and pulled open the doors, dreading what was outside. The planet itself was barren: all rocks and no life. The only discernible blot on an otherwise painfully dull landscape was the raised entrance to the caves. That was where he had to go, that was where she was. He jogged forwards, trying not to think about what he would find inside. The caves themselves were dark and depressing with no reassuring glimmer of light at the end. They felt endless and every bit the same as the last which is how they had claimed so many souls already. But not her- never her.

"River!" He called loudly as he delved deeper into the maze of caves. Every bad memory, every alternate reality he'd averted came flooding back to him and it was all he could do to keep moving, to remember why he was there. "River, please!"

He heard a groan, the tiniest of noise, and his hearts contracted. He turned towards the noise and saw a sight he was not prepared for. She was slumped against the wall of the cave, completely white, unmoving and staring at some point in front of her with unblinking eyes. He'd expected hysterics, madness, maybe even tears. He could count on one hand the amount of times he'd seen River cry and still have fingers to spare and each time it had been soul crushing but somehow it was better than this. She was so lifeless, so lacking in anything that made her River that it terrified him and he wondered if he was too late.

"River, can you hear me?" He crouched down beside her as he held her hand. "River, it's me. Can you hear me?" Her eyes flickered slightly towards him as if he was something she was too scared to look at. "Please River, talk to me."

"You're dead." She whispered as her eyes remaining fixed on that far away point only she could see.

"No more than I usually am." The Doctor laughed, so relieved that she was still here: still saveable. "Now, come one. Let's get you out of here." He picked her up as if she weighed no more than a rag doll and began to walk them both back to safety.

XoxoxoxoX

"How are you?" The Doctor asked kindly as he sat down next to River who was draped in a blanket and clutching a cup of tea as if her life depended on it. Hours had passed since she came out of the caves. Hours of Amy and Rory fretting over her as she slowly came back to her usual self. "How do you feel now?"

"Foolish." River smiled sadly as she looked across at him. "I really thought that I could cope with it. That because I'm human plus I could deal with the caves and make the break through no one else could, impress my teachers and… Well, you know."

"That doesn't make you foolish, River. Many people have sought those treasures for their own benefit or else to prove how strong they were. You just wanted to make an archaeological breakthrough. That's very commendable." The Doctor smiled.

"But I got… I mean, it got to me." River shuddered. "I just couldn't. The things…"

"What was it you saw, River?" The Doctor asked quietly, his arm gingerly reaching round her shoulder to pull her to him- to give any kind of comfort he could. "What was so bad?"

"I saw you." River began in a voice so quiet she almost wasn't speaking. "You and mum and dad. You were all dead. You were all dead and I killed you. I killed everyone I love."

"But you didn't. We're all here and fine and you didn't." The Doctor reassured her.

"But I saw it and now I'm afraid. So afraid. How do you cope with seeing all these things and not become consumed with fear?" She looked at him intently, hoping he had the answers she need.

"The truth?" The Doctor asked.

"Yes." River nodded.

"I don't. I'm always afraid. That's what keeps me running, the reason I never stay in one place for more than a day or so. I run from my fear." River smiled slightly and nodded again. She could understand that, and she could use it. "Don't tell Amy." He whispered.

"I won't if you don't tell her that I'm terrified I'll kill her in her sleep." River grinned as she nudged him with her shoulder.

"Deal." The Doctor laughed. He would always keep her secrets- just as she always kept his.

**Reviews are fandabbydoosey. **


	118. Hostage

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Eighteen: Hostage

**Disclaimer:**Not even pretending I own it.

_**Author's Note: So this part is one that I was sure I had actually written but it turns out I hadn't I'd just thought about writing it. & it came from a review someone left (and I am very sorry but I have forgotten who) wondering about why River never got taken as a hostage to use against the Doctor. In this part I imagine them both being pretty mid-timey. Enjoy…**_

"You will come with me, human one." The animal-like creature grunted as it pushed River up against the side of the TARDIS, her arm twisted behind her back and her face crushed uncomfortably into the blue wood.

"I will not!" River growled in reply with as much dignity as one can muster when one is being man-handled by an alien with a face that looked creepily like a science experiment to cross a pig and a dog that had gone horribly wrong.

"You will come with me and I will use you against the Time Lord to get him to assist me in my war against Racalong!" The beast continued.

"Oh yes, tell me your whole plan gloatingly. I'm sure that won't end badly for you at all." River rolled her eyes. "Honestly, have you never seen a film? Just any film with a bad guy in? No? None?"

"Silence!" River shuddered as she felt spit spray her back. No manners, these aliens. None at all. "You are the wife of the last of the Time Lords and you will comply and be my hostage or-"

"Ah yeah, you see I think that's where you're going wrong. I'm really just not that kind of wife. Don't really do the whole 'damsel in distress' thing all too well and to be honest I can't be bothered to let you capture me just to escape a few moments later. So if it's all the same to you I'll just be off now." River rolled her eyes.

"You cannot escape. You have no way of escape. Tell me how you plan to escape!" The creature demanded. Strong and very ugly but not too bright.

"Ah, no. Sorry. Not going to do that. I'll show you though." River grinned as she began to move. The Doctor, she knew, would think of some clever get-out clause, make some elaborate distraction or else just talk continually until the creature got bored of the idea. That's what the Doctor would do but, quite frankly, she didn't have the energy to do that and this rude would-be kidnapper had squashed the last of her patience right out of her. So instead she wriggled her leg between the creature's own two, hooked her leg around his knee causing it to buckle and send them both crashing backwards into a pile on the floor where she quickly elbowed him to make him release his grip on her and pushed the 'home' button on her vortex manipulator.

"Really, River." The Doctor sighed as he looked up from where he lay sprawled across the chairs reading a book. "If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times. Use the _doors_ don't just appear in the control room. It does something funny to the TARDIS's shields."

"And I've told _you_ a hundred times it doesn't and it's perfectly safe." River rolled her eyes as she picked herself up off the floor, dusting herself down as she did.

"Did you have fun exploring, honey?" The Doctor asked as River set off towards the controls.

"Oh, all kinds of fun." River mumbled, knowing he would miss the sarcasm. "But I think we should get off now, any preference as to where?" She asked as she began pulling the levers.

"Urm… somewhere sunny." The Doctor shrugged vaguely, completely relaxed and happy to let her take control in a way he never would have felt possible until he met River.

"Good book?" River asked as she looked over at him, her expression softening as she watched him chew on his lip as he flipped through the pages of the book.

"Oh yes. Brilliant. Very tense moment. The daughter of the detective is being held hostage by the main villain and they're just about to cut off her finger-"

"Sounds lovely." River grimaced.

"Oh but it's fine because that doesn't happen." The Doctor waved dismissively as he lay the book down on his chest and looked across at River. "I wonder why no one's ever tried that with you?"

"What, cutting off my finger?" River laughed. "I'm rather glad they haven't!"

"No, not that!" The Doctor tutted. "But I just mean people I care about are often taken and used against me as bait or leverage. And those are just the people I travel with so you'd think they'd be all big with the attempted grabbing and snatching and whatnot with you being my wife and all."

"Yeah, strange that isn't it?" River coughed, trying to keep the knowing grin off her face.

"But don't worry about it." The Doctor said, suddenly sincere.

"Worry, why would I worry?" River asked in confusion.

"Well I'm not a very popular man with a lot of the nastiest races in the galaxy and I don't want you to worry that something will happen to you because if anyone did every try to kidnap you then I would be there in a flash and I would rescue you in a second!" The Doctor declared.

"Okay, good to know." River grinned.

"So you're not worried?" The Doctor checked.

"With you to protect me, what have I got to be worried about?" River walked over to where the Doctor sat, beaming proudly, and extended her hand to pull him up. "Now, do you want to go on to the beach or are you too worried about some nasty creature grabbing me?"

"Not at all for I am here to protect you!" The Doctor jumped to his feet, waving one arm as if brandishing a sword. "Plus, you're pretty good at defending yourself."

"Oh I don't know," River shrugged as she walked after the Doctor who was now bounding towards the doors. "I'm all right."

**Please review if you can. Ta. **


	119. Sparkles In The Sunshine

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Nineteen: Sparkles In The Sunshine

**Disclaimer:** I don't own a thing dudes.

_**Author's Note: Hello dearies- many thanks to everyone who is still following, reading, reviewing or any combination of the above. You are all kinds of amazing. This is a younger River/older Doctor combination. Enjoy…**_

"River!" The Doctor announced as he bounded into the room, disturbing the peace that had been there a moment before. "River what are you…?" He trailed off as he located River. She was lying on the bed, staring into the space above her as a shaft of sunlight fell across her face. She looked very serene and River never looked serene. She was also never this still or this quiet. Something was wrong.

"Mmm?" She muttered vaguely, her eyes still fixed on the empty space above her.

"River, what are you doing?" He asked cautiously as he gently sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Looking at the dust dancing in the light." River replied simply.

"Right… Dust in the light. Of course you are." The Doctor repeated uncertainly. "Can I ask why?"

"Because it's beautiful, and it makes me realise how you see the world." She sighed happily and the Doctor furrowed his brow as he looked down at her. He opened his mouth to object but then quickly changed his mind and shut it again.

"Tell me what you see." He said softly as he lay down beside her.

"Just all these tiny pieces of dust, thrown into the air and held there by some unknown force: twirling and twisting. There are so many of them, all identical, and you can barely distinguish one from another and it's impossible to track the movement of one no matter how hard you try. But then, every now and again, they catch the sunlight and they sparkle- they shine a million times brighter than those surrounding them and that one speck of dust is all you can look at. Then it's gone, back into obscurity. That's like us. When we're with you we are so amazing, so all-consuming and we shine so brightly it is as if nothing else matters but then we're gone and that's it." She stopped abruptly, suddenly painfully aware of what she was saying.

"It's not like that." The Doctor said quietly as he stared at her. "It's more like looking at the sky at night. Each star shines so brightly but it doesn't diminish the light others give. You could stare at it forever and discover things you never knew before, things no one else has noticed. And sometimes you lose track of one, or it fades slightly but you know it's always there, waiting for you... That's sort of what it's like."

"That's sort of beautiful." River smiled at him. "I mean, for you."

"Hey!" The Doctor nudged her with his elbow, his face a mask of mock offence. "I am very poetic! Also deep, meaningful and a little bit dishy. I've been told!"

"Ha!" River barked out a laugh as she grinned at him. "I wish that…" She trailed off, her grin slipping slightly as she stared into those all-knowing and yet utterly clueless eyes.

"You wish what?" The Doctor asked as he gazed at her- trying to understand what was going on in that funny head of hers. So deep in thought, so desperately trying to figure everything out- never believing that there would be enough time for it all to make sense by itself.

"I wish I could see the universe the way you see it." River sighed. It was so difficult, being so in love with someone who was so unlike anything you'd ever come across before. She wanted to consume him, to inhale every bit of knowledge that he had ever held. She wanted to climb inside his skin to see out through his eyes and know him in a way no one had ever known him before.

"You don't River, no one would want that. The things I've seen…" He shuddered, his hundreds of years of travelling reflected in every line on his face in a way they rarely did.

"I know. And the things you've _seen._" Her eyes lit up. "All those places you talk of, all the things that no longer exist. I'd give anything to see them the way you did. Although I know I never can."

"Ah now, River Song." The Doctor grinned as he lent closer to her. "Never say never."

He kissed her deeply, his hand cupping her face as he concentrated on transferring his memories to her young head. He knew he shouldn't, probably, that there may well be rules against this kind of thing but he no longer cared. She was right. The universe was full of wonders, of things only he had ever seen and only he would ever see and he was fed up of having them all to himself.

River gasped as he pulled away, smiling sheepishly. The things she'd seen. Planets dying, being born. Sunrises over mountains that shone blue. More stars than you could conceivably imagine. Words lost in time. Children singing songs of their home planet. The elation she'd felt. And the sorrow. And so many more emotions than she could name. There were things she now knew that she could never explain and that she would never forget.

"I bet you say that to all the girls." River laughed shakily.

"Oh no. Only you." The Doctor grinned as he ran one hand through her curls.

"No mention of me in the montage though, I'm hurt." River pouted jokily- trying to make the moment seem less important because she didn't truly know how to react to being given a gift like that.

"Of course not: spoilers!" The Doctor laughed as River rolled her eyes. "Although a small sneak-peak couldn't hurt, I suppose."

River held her breath as he lent in towards her once again. Her mind was flooded with his, his memories seeping into hers. Although this time there were no images, merely the feeling of overwhelming love, of devotion, of completion. The sensation of always being too far away even when you were right next to someone. She didn't know where her feelings ended and his began- only that they were together in this confusion of love. And she knew that this was an even bigger gift he gave to her- this was bigger than memories, than travel, than the universe itself. He was giving her everything he had and still it was more than that. It was a promise of what was to come. A promise of everything. Of a love than transcended time and space and yet was only for them.

**Reviews are like chocolate and sunshine and bunnies combined. **


	120. Don't Fade Away

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty: Don't Fade Away

**Disclaimer:** Completely not mine.

_**Author's Note: Many thanks to everyone who has kind things to say about this story to everyone who leaves me tiny reviews, sweet reviews or long, rambling reviews that make me grin for hours. You are all the best kind of people. This is an older River/younger Doctor (early s6) part. Enjoy…**_

"Hello? Are you here sweetie?" River called as she knocked lightly on the open door of the TARDIS as she strolled in, looking around for any signs of life. The console room was suspiciously empty and there were no noises- no voices, no laughter, not even the sound of an argument. It was all very worrying.

"Hello?" She called again, louder. She was sure that this was when they were supposed to meet, sure she hadn't got the co-ordinates wrong.

"What are you doing here?" A familiar voice asked in an unfamiliar, harsh tone. "And who are you?"

"I… I'm…" River stammered as she physically recoiled as if she'd been slapped. This was her Doctor, her everything. But there was no warmth, no love in his eyes as he stared angrily at her. She tried to breathe. It couldn't be yet. It was too soon, too early and she wasn't at all prepared. It felt like the bottom had dropped out of her stomach and she wanted to cry and throw up and run away all at once. But she couldn't.

"Well, spit it out." The stranger with her husband's face spat once again and she shuddered.

"Doctor, where have you gone?" Another familiar voice called followed by a swish of red hair and the appearance of her parents in the console room. River blinked slowly. How could this be? It didn't make any sense that he'd forgotten so soon and yet Rory and Amy were here. Her head span uncomfortably.

"I have to… I've got to…" River mumbled as she turned to go. She'd always thought she'd be strong. That it would hurt, that it would kill her, but that she'd be able to hide her pain like she'd always managed before. Turns out she wasn't as strong as she thought.

"River, wait!" Amy called as she took a step forwards.

"You… You know me?" River asked in confusion.

"Of course we know you." Amy snapped impatiently. "We need your help."

"I can't. I'm sorry, I can't." River shook her head, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. "This is more than I ever… I thought I would cope but I'm falling apart and I'm sorry but I just can't." The idea of staying here, with this Doctor who knew nothing of her, was inconceivable.

"Oh, no." Rory gasped suddenly- remembering a previous conversation he'd had with River. "It's not that River. It's not… Not your worst day. He's lost his memory. He doesn't know who he is, who we are- anything. But it must all still be in there somewhere, we just need to get him back. We need you to get him back for us."

"But why me?" River asked quietly, still trying to process what she was being told.

"We've tried. We've been telling him everything we know, all the things we've been through." Amy said quickly, shooting a glance at the Doctor who stood there staring at them all with a furrowed brow. "But he's so much more than what we know of him. So old and full of secrets. But you know all his faces, don't you? You can tell him who he is."

"I don't know." River's voice was still small, unsure of herself, still trying to pull her stomach back from her feet and trying to convince her heart to beat normally. He was okay. It wasn't the end.

"You're the only one who can do it River." Amy said seriously. "You need to bring him back to us."

"Right. Yes. I will. I'll try." River breathed deeply, pulled back her shoulders and put on her best 'everything's okay' smile. She walked up to him gently and he cowered slightly, like a dog that had been mistreated.

"It's okay, come with me." River smiled as she extended her hand to him. "I can help you." He looked at her doubtfully for a moment, his head tilted and his eyes flitting all across the room as if looking for an escape. But eventually something convinced him he could trust her and he tentatively placed one hand in hers.

River led him forwards and they sat down on the steps, his hand still locked in hers. Now he'd found something to hold on to he never wanted to let go. She began to talk- slowly and quietly. She told stories of worlds lost to time. She talked of adventures against great foes. She told him of friends, old and new, who loved him dearly. She spoke of family, and the loss that came with them. She told him how many faces he'd had and how many lives he'd touched. She whispered about scarves and celery and jelly babies and fezzes. She sang songs in a language that stirred something deep inside him. She told him of the universe and all its wonders, but all its horrors too. She spoke for hours until her throat was raw and she thought she could talk no more. Then she traced words in Gallifreyan on the palm of his hand, hoping that it would mean something to him.

"So do you understand? Does that make any sense?" River asked hoarsely after a long time.

"I think so. I understand it, I can see it all. But it feels like it happened to somebody else. It doesn't feel like me." He said shyly.

"It will. Eventually. You just have to keep remembering. But do you see why you have to try, why we need you to come back to us?" River asked him urgently. "We can't lose you, Doctor. The universe needs you."

He nodded slowly, still unsure of how to take this responsibility.

"But it's so peaceful here." He murmured.

"I know." River squeezed his hand gently. She could understand that after all those years of all of time and space running through his head knowing nothing must seem like a welcome break. "But you've never really been one to enjoy the peace and quiet." River grinned and for a second he grinned back at her, an echo of his old self seeping back though.

"You never told me." The Doctor began. "In all things you told me, you never said. Who are you?"

"Me?" She laughed. "I'm just River. No one important. An old friend."

"All those things you know, all those stories you tell. The way you hold my hand." He looked up at her, a question in his eyes for the first time all day. Curiosity stealing back in. "More than a friend, I think."

River laughed heartily. All those things he didn't know and he was still quoting her words back at her. Knowing as much about her as she had done when she first said them. But even when they knew nothing they knew there was something between them, something more than friendship, more than memories, more than all the things you could name.

"Spoilers." River grinned as she took hold of his hand once again.

**It would be lovely if you could review**


	121. Bring Me Back To Life

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty-One: Bring Me Back To Life

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, still not mine.

_**Author's Note: Okay, so I am doing something I never do here & writing a follow-up to the last part because quite a few people have been asking me for it (and no that doesn't mean you can ask for one after every part hehe) so this kind of feels like a half-part to me but I hope you all enjoy it & it brings you some closure…**_

"River, wake up!" Amy called urgently as River jerked awake from the awkward position she had been slumped in. She had fallen asleep eventually, in the early hours of the morning, propped up beside the Doctor's bed as he rested and tried to remember and she muttered memories to him in her sleep.

"Is it…? Is he…?" Words died on her lips. Words you could never say about a person who had changed. Better. Fixed. Well. Because they implied that the new version of that person was somehow lacking, somehow broken. (He was. The Doctor without his memories was barely a Doctor she knew at all but she could never let him know that, never let the others know. She felt ashamed of herself for even thinking it.)

"Come and see for yourself." Amy smirked and River jumped up and ran forwards. She didn't care that her hair was wild or that there were creases drawn onto her face from where she'd slept on the covers. All she cared about was seeing him.

"Well, well then Doctor Song." The Doctor's voice rang out as she raced into the console room and it was all she could do to stop herself breaking into the widest grin known to man. "Finally up are we? Some of us have been regaining our memories wile you've been in the land of nod!"

"So you remember?" River gasped as she looked at him- her stomach flipping uncomfortably at the sign of that cocky grin back on his face where it belonged. "It's all come back to you?"

"Pretty much, yeah. It took a long time and a lot of concentration and a few bits of my seventh regeneration are still a bit fuzzy but that may well be for the best." He laughed and River beamed like a proud parent. "But there are a few things I need to talk to you about, River Song, if you'd follow me." His voice was suddenly serious as he walked away leaving River to exchange confused looks with Amy and Rory before following him.

"Is everything okay?" River asked in confusion as she entered the small room the Doctor had walked into.

"Everything? Yes everything's fine." The Doctor replied as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "Just wanted to get away from prying ears and eyes and Ponds."

"To say what exactly?" River asked, slightly nervous at what answer she would receive.

"That you didn't tell me the truth." The Doctor said sternly.

"What? I did… I…" River stammered indignantly.

"You didn't tell me that me and you… that we… well we…" He flapped his arms around in the air to try to explain what he wanted to say, what he would never be able to voice. The rush of emotions that had punched him squarely in the chest when he'd remembered River Song. The memories of flirting and kissing and the look on her face when he'd flown away. The knowledge that she was someone so important it could change his whole life.

"Well, I'm not one to kiss and tell." River grinned, relieved. "What sort of girl do you think I am?"

"I think you are… The best. The very best." The Doctor blushed as he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek before running out of the room as fast as his legs would carry him. It was clumsy, inexperienced and it made River uncontrollably delighted. There was no doubt in her mind that he was back. Her Doctor. And she would never let him go again.

**Still very fond of reviews.**


	122. Something You'll Miss

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And -Twenty-Two: Something You'll Miss

**Disclaimer:** Yo beeb, I borrowed your characters innit.

_**Author's Note: SO many thankyous to everyone who is still following this story & who reviews new parts/old parts/any parts really. I have been suffering from the old writers block AGAIN hence the lack of updates but this one hit me today whilst walking to school so here we go. This is a younger River/older Doctor. Enjoy…**_

The Doctor breathed in sharply as he turned, pirouetting on the floor and nearly falling flat on his face. He looked suspiciously around before deciding that, no, he couldn't be smelling her perfume. It must just be that he was thinking about her and his mind had summoned up a memory that suddenly seemed very real. As if she was standing right next to him. But she wasn't. The Doctor shook himself mentally and went back to tinkering with the TARDIS, ignoring the nagging doubt in the back of his head.

The sound made him jump and his hearts skip in a sickening way. He was alone, he knew he was alone. So how could he hear her laughing? First there had been the perfume, then the book she loved turning up on his bedside table, then the lipstick just rolling out from under the shelf in the library and now he could hear her laughing. Something was definitely going on here. And he wasn't standing for it any longer.

"Right, what is it?" He addressed his TARDIS angrily. "What the hell are you up to? What is it you want me to do?"

In response the TARDIS jumped into action and knocked the Doctor off his feet. She whirred erratically through time and space before opening her doors and dumping him (quite literally) at his wife's feet.

"River, hi." The Doctor coughed nervously as he tried to pick himself and his dignity up off the floor.

"Doctor! What are you doing here?" River beamed as she jumped up off her small, grey bed and put her diary down quickly beside her.

He could see, even from that small interaction, just how young she was. There was a delight and a surprise in her eyes at seeing him. When she got older she was still pleased to see him, of course, but she always appeared as if she'd been waiting for him to arrive, as if she knew his every move before he did (which she probably did, being honest). That River, future River, was secure in his love for her whereas this one was still taken by surprise every time he turned up, always waiting for him to let her down or leave her.

"Well I think you can answer that better than I can." The Doctor said as he gave her his best stern look. "Some strange things have been happening around my TARDIS and when I asked her what had been going on she brought me here. To you." He gave her a pointed looked and folded his arms- waiting for an answer.

"Oh well I urm… You see I just…" River stuttered as she stared intently at the floor.

"Aha! Finally speechless River Song?" The Doctor smirked.

"No!" River snapped defiantly. "I just... I just wanted to be…" She stopped again, sighing.

"It's okay, you can tell me." The Doctor said quietly as he suddenly realised that this might actually be serious. He hadn't expected serious. He didn't know how to deal with serious at the best of times- let alone when it was suddenly sprung on him.

"Well you are this ageless, death-defying being that lives on when we all die and wither and-"

"Is this going somewhere cheerful, River?" The Doctor cut across quickly.

"Sorry. It's just I know you can't always talk about them. I mean I've heard about Donna and Rose and Sarah-Jane but there must be so many more. So many you never speak of, that rarely cross your mind. And I don't want to. I just-"

"River, are you trying to make me remember you? Because you're still here. You're not going anywhere." He put his hand on her arm, trying to anchor her to him, trying to stop her ever going anywhere.

"I know that, I know." River agreed quickly. "It was more a trial run really. For when… y'know…" She shrugged.

"I will never forget you River. I couldn't. Not ever." The Doctor implored her sincerely.

"I know. You never forget anything, you poor thing." Her eyes softened and a trace of tears glanced across them before she blinked them away. _A vulnerable side she's already learning to hide_ the Doctor thought to himself sadly. "But there's a difference between forgetting and…" She stopped again, as if physically unable to complete that train of thought.

"And what? What is it you want?" He asked quietly, his eyes searching hers.

"I just want to be something you'll miss." She spoke quietly and shrugged apologetically.

The Doctor felt like he'd been hit in the stomach with something remarkably hard. That was it. The core of every human desire- the end result of every action. To not only be remembered but to be missed. To have someone who loved you so much it hurt to be without you. She wanted something so human, so simple, yet she thought she would never have it. And he was her only chance. A girl who'd been ripped away from her parents, a woman who'd spent most of her adult life in solitary confinement- he was all she had. A man who could barely find the words to tell her how he felt at the best of times. He was the only one who could save her, who could let her know she had made an impact.

"You…" the Doctor swallowed quickly, his eyes darting all over the room as he tried to summon the words that currently hid somewhere in his shoes. "You have nothing to worry about in that department River. I miss you every second I'm not with you and when… when…" He breathed deeply. "… when you are gone, nothing will ever be the same. I will miss you with every breath I take for as long as I am breathing." He knew this, as he knew that the Earth revolved around the Sun.

"You promise?" She whispered.

"I swear it." He smiled as he opened his arms and engulfed in her, wishing he could keep her there forever. If only she could stay right there for all of time- then he would never need to keep his promise and have his hearts break in the process.

"Thank you." She breathed into his chest.

"Anything for you, River. Anything."

**Reviewers are my best friends.**


	123. Waiting For Love

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Three: Waiting For Love

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine.

_**Author's Note: Thank you for all the feedback that you have left, all the new people who have followed, everyone who has finally got to this chapter. You are all fantastic and brilliant. This is an older River/younger (early s6 ) Doctor. Enjoy…**_

"Soon you will submit, soon you will join us." The ominous, spooky voice that surrounded her completely spoke again and River shuddered.

She was in the highly unusual, and somewhat uncomfortable, position of being chained up in a rather mouldy old cellar in the centre of London where she had been kept prisoner by two creatures that look and acted like giant floating brains and had every intention of getting inside her mind and forcing her to do their bidding. All in all, she had to admit, it had not been the best Monday on record.

"There is no point continuing to resist." The second, equally-spooky, voice chimed in. "We will inhabit your mind."

"Just missing one important point there." River grimaced as a sheen of sweat formed on her forehead from the sheer mental strength it was taking to resist this continuous assault.

"What point is that?" The voice echoed through her head.

"That I will not ever, ever, allow that to happen." River spat.

"Oh how sweet, she still believes he will come for her." The disembodied voice chortled eerily and River shuddered. This was all far too like some dodgy horror film for her liking.

"He will come." River groaned as her head slumped, her defences threatening to give up completely.

"No one is coming for you. There is no way anyone could ever find you. Give in to us, River Song. Become one with us."

"Firstly: no." River breathed as she tried to regain her composure. "And secondly: you clearly don't know the Doctor. He is not _anyone_. And he would never leave me."

"Even now, when he knows you so little and trusts you even less?" The voice was soft now, which made it even worse. Like the stroke of your hair that accompanies a knife twisting in your back. It knew all her secrets, all her weaknesses and she was barely holding up the walls that she had constructed between her mind and its.

"Even now. Especially now. This is the Doctor we are talking about. The man who has nothing to keep him going apart from his compassion, the man who cannot resist a call for help no matter how dangerous the situation. He would risk his life, and does- continually, for people he's never met or for creatures he disapproves of. He is the light in the darkness, the only good thing this universe has to offer me. You can keep me here for as long as you want. You can torture me, you can break me and take everything I have away but you will never, ever, stop me from believing in him. He will come for me." River breathed deeply.

"Now that sounds like my cue!" A familiar voice cut through the haze that River was draped in and she lifted her head weakly to see her madman running into the room. She heard the buzz of the sonic and suddenly a pressure lifted from her head.

"What did you do?" River looked around in confusion and awe as he spun around waving his sonic screwdriver and generally looking ecstatic at the whole process.

"Oh, just cut through their psychic connection with my handy sonic screwdriver so they are suffering from the world's biggest headache and will never be able to interfere with anyone's brain process ever again. Y'know. No big deal." He grinned cockily as he shoved his sonic screwdriver back into his pocket and went to undo the restraints that held River to the wall. "Always the handcuffs with you, River Song. Is there something you're trying to tell me?"

"Oh shut up." River growled as she slumped forward, her arms wrapping around the Doctor's neck as she finished untangling herself. "Anyway. You're late."

"Well, I got here a few moments ago in all honesty but I didn't want to disturb you in the middle of what was, frankly, a _brilliant_ speech." The Doctor smirked as he helped River limp away.

"Oh, I hate you." River rolled her eyes but she smiled slightly as she leant on him to support her.

"No, she doesn't." The voice came once again, the one that had been tormenting her all day, but somehow it seemed much less sinister now it was unable to penetrate her mind and was merely a voice that belonged to a creature that could never hurt anyone again. "In fact she-"

"Oh, shut up you stupid big brainy thing." The Doctor sighed as he looked back at where the creatures had been left behind them. "Honestly this is why you never get invited to parties. No tact, no notion of secrecy and, to be honest, you look a bit creepy floating there just being a brain and all. Nothing personal." He grinned across at River and winked. "TARDIS is just outside, can I give you a lift?"

"Yes, please." River sighed happily. "And thank you."

"For what? You knew I was coming anyway." The Doctor laughed as he helped her up the steps and out into the sunshine.

"Yes but…" River sighed as she couldn't think of words enough to express what she needed to thank him for. For not letting that thing blurt out her secrets. For making her smile when she'd wanted to curl up and cry. For never letting her down. For being the one thing in her life that was always and forever, even now when so much had changed between them- when so much had been lost.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He grabbed her hand tightly with one hand as he clicked his fingers on the other and the doors to the TARDIS flew open.

River sighed contentedly as she stepped inside. It had been a horrific day but she felt, finally, as if she was home.

"Go on then. Make me a cup of tea." She grinned as she sat herself down.

**I may have mentioned this before but I quite like reviews. **


	124. While You Were Looking For Yourself

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Four: While You Were Looking For Yourself Out There

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine & it never will be (sob sob etc)

_**Author's Note: Well hello there. Sorry about the delay in this part, for some reason my teachers keep expecting me to hand in essays & all that. I shall defy them & instead spend my time writing fanfiction. Mwahahaha. This is a young River (I'm putting it early on in her uni career but I keep changing my mind about where it should be so you decide for yourselves) and an older Doctor. Enjoy…**_

The Doctor paced the floor as he checked his watch again for what was quite possibly the hundredth time in the past two minutes. It was the right time, the right place- he was sure of it. He'd checked and double checked and tripled checked and it was right and where was she? His insides repeatedly knotted and unknotted without his permission as he went over everything in his head. _I want to travel_ she'd said and he'd grinned before saying _any time, any place you name it and I'll… _ but then he'd stopped because he'd seen the look on her face. She'd bitten her lip and looked away and given him a long speech about how she didn't know who she was, who this _River_ was she'd suddenly become and how she needed time to travel and see all these things and it wasn't that she didn't want to be with him but just that she couldn't be with anyone at the moment. She looked up at him, all big eyes and anxiety and youth, and there was no way he could do anything other than pull the vortex manipulator out of his pocket, place it in her hands, plant a kiss on her forehead and tell her the universe wouldn't know what hit it.

That had been six months ago. Six months, they'd agreed, would be a good amount of time. In six months, they'd said, they would meet again in this room and talk of adventures and discoveries. Six months had never felt so long but he'd forced himself to take the slow route, to feel the time progressing as it was doing for her and to try to imagine all the things she was going through. Six months had passed and the day he had been looking forward to for so long arrived and now, suddenly, he wanted it to go away. He didn't want to face the very real possibility that she wouldn't arrive, that something had happened to her or that she'd just realised that there were so many things in the universe that were more impressive than a sad old man and his blue box. He had an abundance of memories of times with River (a whole life-time if he were able to live a normal life) and yet he knew that those could disappear with one new choice this early in her time-line. Time could be re-written, he knew that, but he prayed that it wouldn't be- that the moments he clung so fiercely to wouldn't be taken away from him.

"Well, hello sweetie." The familiar voice rang across the stone tiles and the Doctor jumped.

"River!" He gasped as he spun around to face her and nearly fell over his feet as he raced forward to be close to where she stood. "I… You… You're here." He gasped.

"This is when we said, isn't it?" River looked confused.

"Yes. It's just I… Well I thought…" The Doctor gulped as he tried to form a sentence.

"Did you really think I'd stood you up?" Her voice fell somewhere between disbelief and amusement.

"Well no. I mean maybe a little bit the thought was there and possibly I… You're late!" The Doctor blushed.

"By three minutes." River grinned as she picked up his hand and held it between her own to show him his watch ticking steadily on.

"I know. It was just… It felt longer." The Doctor grinned apologetically. There was no way he could ever explain to her how it felt. The fear of losing her, of her changing into someone he couldn't recognise, was so overpowering it felt like a weight crushing the very bones in his chest. "So how was it, the universe?" He smiled and tried to remember how to breathe properly as he led her to the sofa, her hand still clasped around his.

"It was… A lot." River said as they sat down. She looked older than when they'd parted. The confusion was gone from her eyes and replaced with a knowledge, a disbelief and a tinge of sadness. He knew that expression well. "Things I can't even explain. Sights I'll never forget. So many days I wanted to last forever and images I wish I could erase from my mind forever. There is more out there than I could ever have imagined. But I guess you know that already, don't you?"

"The thing about the universe is you can never see it as anyone else does." The Doctor shrugged. "No matter how hard you try." They sat in silence for a moment. They were as close as two people could be- the closest thing either of them had to family, the one constant in both topsy turvey lives but even so they could not comprehend how the world, let alone the universe, would look through the eyes of the other. "Did it help?" The Doctor asked finally, breaking the silence. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Did I find myself?" River thought about this question carefully. "Maybe I was expecting too much of myself, to know who I really am. I mean can anyone ever know that? But I found out that when there's someone in trouble I will run towards them to help rather than away to save myself. I found out that there are some causes I will fight for which is something I never would have thought before. I found out that I'm not all bad, and possibly not as messed up as I once though and, quite importantly, that I'm allowed to be happy." The Doctor smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

"And did you ever… I mean, when you were gone did you think…" He trailed off, realising how pathetic he sounded. She'd been on this huge voyage of self-discovery and he wanted to know if she'd thought of him, if she'd missed him like he'd missed her.

"I didn't really have to." River smiled softly. "Everything around me reminded me of you. The sound of people running. The first stars to come out at night. Music. A lot of music. Every note had you written in it. The smell of ice-cream. A child doing a pirouette and nearly falling flat on their face. The sunlight that creeps though your curtains first thing in the morning. It was like you were with me every day, the memory of you making me smile, which is a good job really because the universe is a pretty lonely place to travel on your own."

The Doctor stared at her. He blinked rapidly and tried to take everything in. Tried to take her in. Tried to understand just what an extraordinary creature sat across from him.

"Do I have something on my face?" River laughed.

"No. No. I just… I forgot." The Doctor stammered.

"You forgot what?" River asked.

"I forgot how completely amazing you are." The Doctor beamed as he lent across and kissed her lightly on the cheek. River smiled across at him as she lent her head onto his shoulder and they sat there in silence, listening to the hum of the universe around them. There was nowhere else they'd rather be.

**If you could review that would be lavly.**


	125. Picture This

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Five: Picture This

_**Author's Note: I am so sorry for how long this has taken for me to write another part. Life is crazy busy & my brain is being very non-cooperative when it comes to writing. But I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed or favourite this story. It's really inspired me to actually carry on & force myself to write this out. This is a younger River/older Doctor instalment, set after the episode of The Doctor, The Witch and The Wardrobe when the Doctor goes for Christmas dinner at Amy & Rory's. Enjoy… **_

"I'm bored!" Amy announced as she flung herself back on to the sofa for dramatic effect, hitting Rory squarely in the face with her flailing arms as she did.

"Ow. And again I say: ow." Rory said pointedly as he massaged his nose and looked like a wounded puppy.

"Sorry." Amy said sulkily. "I really didn't mean to hurt you but that doesn't change the fact that I am bored. Bored, bored, bored." She sighed heavily.

"Amy, we have only just finished the washing up. How are you bored all ready?" River laughed as she walked into the room, drying her hands on a tea towel.

"Well that took you absolutely ages." Amy rolled her eyes.

"I know. The Doctor got a bit over-enthusiastic with the bubbles and we had a bit of a clean-up job to do." River laughed as she smiled across at the Time Lord.

"Well, I didn't know how much… I mean I haven't done it for… There should be instructions with these things!" He spluttered.

"Well now you two have _finally_ finished that can we go and do something fun?" Amy whined.

"Amy, it's Christmas day." Rory said in a tired voice. "Can't we just do normal Christmas things?"

"Like what? What do you do on Christmas day? Are there things that you do?" The Doctor bounced excitedly. It was his first Christmas, his first normal human Christmas, and he was so excited by the prospect of it.

"Well you watch crap TV and eat chocolates and nap and play board games and-"

"Ohh can we play-" The Doctor began excitedly.

"Not scrabble!" The Ponds shouted in unison.

"Fine. Not scrabble." The Doctor muttered "Are there any games we can play?"

"How about Pictionary?" River suggested as she sat down on the opposite sofa. "Me and you were sixth form champions, weren't we Amy?" She grinned across at her best friend- remembering a whole other life.

"Okay, fine. Pictionary." Rory agreed. "But there is no way you two are going together. You cheat!"

"We do not!" Amy gasped in such indignation that nobody was left in any doubt that the two had some kind of system in place to win them the games.

"You so did." Rory laughed. "You and me against the Doctor and River. What do you say?"

"I don't know…" Amy glanced across at them unsurely. Her two best friends- the two people she would trust to the end of the earth and she wanted to protect them both but she knew she couldn't. Amy couldn't protect them from each other. River barely knew him but had been dreaming of him all her life and he expected her to be a woman she didn't know how to be and Amy couldn't stand to see the hurt in their eyes when they realised they were standing in the room with a stranger they thought they knew.

"What's the matter, Pond- afraid you'll lose to me?" River grinned and suddenly they were fifteen again and full of life.

"You wish!" Amy laughed as she sat upright. "Bring it on!"

"Right, we'll go first." Rory announced as he set up the drawing board and gave the cards out to each team. "Do you want to draw or shall I?" He asked Amy as she stood up and grabbed the pen and a card off him.

"Sit down, stupid face." Amy grinned as she began to scribble on the board.

"It's a face… A dog… A pea… A Christmas tree…" Rory guessed desperately.

"Don't be stupid, Rory!" Amy snapped as she pointed repeatedly at the drawing.

"I just... I don't know what it is. A monkey?" Rory asked hopefully.

"Of course it's not a monkey!" Amy growled. "Are you blind?"

"No… It's just… I can't…" He stammered.

"It is clearly a man playing cricket. Clearly." Amy huffed as she sat down heavily.

"Do you want to go first?" The Doctor asked as he gestured for River to stand and draw.

"Sure." She shrugged as she stood up and glanced at the card she'd grabbed from the top of the pile. She thought about it for a second before scrawling something on the board.

"A unicorn riding a motorcycle!" The Doctor announced after as split-second.

"Yes! How did you know?" River beamed as she sat back down.

"You are so cheating." Amy folded her arms heavily as the couple sat down giggling together.

And so it continued. Round after round left the Ponds frustrated and shouting at each other while the Doctor and River seemed to know the answer before the other's pen had hit the paper.

"Go on then." Amy asked eventually, after all parties had tired of the game and the girls had volunteered to get another round of drinks from the kitchen. "How did you do it?"

"Do what?" River asked innocently.

"How did you win, what were you doing?" Amy clarified.

"Nothing!" River replied. "Really, we weren't doing anything. I guess we just know each other more than you give us credit for."

"I guess you do." Amy smiled as she looked across at the girl she had known here whole life, the daughter she had lost forever, and she felt reassured. Because she'd always thought that they had been with each other, loved each other, because they had had to- because fate had dedicated that that was the person you had to fall in love with. But here they were- knowing nothing about each other and still being able to tell everything from a simple look, a smile, the blink of an eye. Maybe they really would be okay. Maybe this was meant to be after all.

**Reviews are the best thing in the universe. **


	126. Love And Stardust Settle On Us

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Six: Love And Stardust Settle On Us

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, not even a teeny tiny bit mine.

_Author's Note: Hello! Remember me? I have been attempting to write this part for weeks now but things keep getting in my way and I apologise for that. This part was inspired by listening to far too much Train. Far, far more than people should. And it's a mid-time River with a late late Doctor, post-series 7 finale but before regeneration if you get me. Enjoy…_

"So this is… it." The Doctor swayed slightly, unnoticed, as he pushed the door open. Clara had been nagging, constantly, unstoppingly, for _months_ to know about… about... her, about River. And he could barely bring himself to mutter her name without feeling the need to bite his lip in order to stop all the emotions he possessed swimming up from his toes (where he tried to contain them) and over-taking every atom of his being so he thought maybe he could bring her here and it would explain itself. That had been the plan. That she would step through the doors and just _know,_ as he knew, all the things that had happened within these four walls.

It was strange the way memory worked. He could easily forget where he'd put something, a specific day from long ago could drop from his mind when he tried to recall it, entire years could become nothing but a non-specific cloud of colour and emotion if he didn't refresh them enough and people he once knew so well became confused with others who shared hair colour, sense of humour or taste in music. But this place was forever. He closed his eyes and he was here. River's house. Their house- the house in which they had been happy. But he never allowed himself to think of it in those terms. It was River's house, belonging to River. And it was gone. Like River. Only it wasn't gone (as she wasn't gone) because he had bought it as soon as she'd… When she wasn't there anymore.

He'd bought this house, this place, so that no one could ever disrupt what was there. No one else could cook in the kitchen where River made him porridge and toast in the apron he'd got her one year for a joke because of her appalling cooking skills. No one could move the sofa where they'd watched bad TV and she'd fallen asleep, repeatedly, and spilled her wine across the once-cream sofa only to wake and curse him for letting her get in the predicament in the first place. No one would lie where she had laid- her eyes flickering open in the early morning light and her hair spread across the pillow. No one would dig up the flowers they planted together or sit in the tattered chairs where they had drank tea in the mornings. The ghost of her laugh still echoed around corners. The smell of her perfume lingered in unexpected places. It couldn't become part of the past if he refused to let go of it.

"So, this is it?" Clara repeated as she squeezed his hand gently and the Doctor started. He was so consumed with what had been he'd forgotten what was. That this was now and that was then and he was somehow a stranger in his own house. Not that it was his. River's. Hers. Not theirs. "I expected it to be more… neglected." Clara said gently as she peered around. "Do you come here often?"

"No… I…" The Doctor stammered in confusion as he looked around. She was right. He hadn't been here since… Hadn't been able to bring himself to… And yet it looked lived-in still. There was no air of neglect, no layer of dust (well, no more than there usually was when River was in charge of the cleaning) or any sign that it had laid empty for years.

"Oh, sweetie." A voice called from around the corner and the Doctor gasped. "You're home. What a surprise." River walked into view, smiling as she dried her hands on a tea towel. The Doctor inadvertently gripped Clara's hand far harder than was allowed until she yelped in pain and he realised where he was.

"River… But you… You can't be… You're…" The Doctor stammered momentarily as he stared at her. Really there. Definitely really there. He looked to Clara for conformation that his dead wife was really truly here and that he hadn't evolved to a whole new level of delusional.

"You're not supposed to be here, is what he means." Clara jumped in quickly. "He thought you were away and so we came around to make a surprise for urm... Valentine's Day."

"That was last month." River said coolly as she looked at the woman standing next to her husband.

"Yes but you know what he's like." Clara laughed, slightly hysterically. "Always getting his timings wrong. Aren't you." She finished through gritted teeth as she elbowed the doctor not-so-subtlety in his side.

"Yes. Yes. You know me. Always late. Or early. Or in the wrong universe." He gabbled quickly as he swung his arms. He wanted to run to River, to embrace her and never let her go but his feet were stuck to the floor and his hearts were going too fast and the room was possibly spinning and breathing was hard.

"And who exactly is your… friend?" River asked quietly as her eyes flitted to Clara. It wasn't jealousy that was shown there, or even mistrust, but an emotion mush harder to define. An emotion that lives within a person who has been systematically, and literally, abandoned by everyone who had ever been close to her. A feeling that you are not worthy and that, soon enough, someone better will come along.

"Oh. Oh, of course." The Doctor found his feet and fell clumsily towards his wife. "This is Clara Oswald, a friend of mine. Been taking her for a few trips. And this, of course, is River Song- my dear wife." River snorted and rolled her eyes as the Doctor puffed out his chest with pride.

"Lovely to meet you, I've heard so much about you." Clara smiled and there was a sadness in her eyes River didn't want to dwell on. When you lived a life that made little sense and when you travelled backwards to everyone you loved you learned quickly, and painfully, that many things you don't ask, many things you let go and pretend not to notice. You don't show the damage and you don't see the damage, either.

"You too." River smiled genuinely at the small woman who had suddenly appeared in her life.

"And now I sense I should give you two some space." Clara backed away quickly, glancing between the two.

"No there's no need." River said at the same time as the Doctor was nodding and saying "that would be great."

"Okay then." Clara laughed. "So I'll meet you back here in…?"

"Two hours?" The Doctor suggested.

"Two hours, really?" River grinned. "And what exactly are we going to do for the other one hour and forty-five minutes?" She winked and Clara laughed.

"Oh, I like her!" Clara beamed across at the woman who was making the Doctor blush like a school-girl.

"Shut up." The Doctor scowled at the two of them.

"Yeah? Make me." River purred at him.

"Okay. Definitely going now." Clara coughed pointedly as she made her way quickly out of the front door.

As the door closed the Doctor smiled. He let himself breathe and believe that this was really happening. A moment that he had never expected, never allowed himself to contemplate- this was a moment outside of what was allowed, what was written. In this place where the world outside ceased to matter- with the woman who was the most important person in the universe. This was the place he was at peace, these were the times he would always remember, this was the woman he loved, and this was the place that made the loneliest wanderer feel at home. They were here, they were safe, they were home. Nothing else mattered.

**Please review if you have a moment. **


	127. Can And Will Be Held Against You

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Seven: Can And Will Be Used Against You

**Disclaimer: **So very much not mine. Also some lines are shamelessly stolen from the Fall Out Boy song 'Just One Yesterday' and I lay no claim to those what so ever.

**Author's Note**_**: Another apology from me. It has been a horribly long time since I updated and I am so, so sorry. I have been finishing my degree and it has all been a bit mad and I've been wondering if I even CAN write this story any more as it's been so long. But I will try so I apologise if it's horrible. I'm going to try a few short chapters for starters to get myself back into the swing of it. Thank you to everyone who has favourited/reviewed in the long silence and to all who have waited for a new part. Enjoy…**_

"What the… what on earth is going on here?" The Doctor struggled against his restraints as he was pulled roughly from the car towards the ominous dull-grey building in front of them. "I know my rights! I demand to be able to speak to my lawyer! But considering I don't actually have a lawyer I insist you give me ten minutes in a room with myself to formulate my defence!"

For once he had no idea what he'd supposedly done (or actually done) to receive the pleasure of being hunted and captured by what appeared to be MI5's finest agents. They had followed him for days and been thoroughly unimpressed by his attempts to disappear into the TARDIS or his displaying of the psychic paper and that was why he was rather worried. This was serious. This was Trouble with a capital T.

"Can I at least know on what grounds I am being brought in?" The Doctor called as he felt his handcuffs being tightened painfully around his wrists as the officer pushed him forwards. "I demand to speak to someone in charge; you haven't even read me my rights!" He cried shrilly in a vain attempt to get through to his captors.

"You want your rights read to you?" The officer muttered in a low, dangerous voice close to the Doctor's ear. "Fine. Anything you say can and will be held against you. So only say my name and I will be held against you."

The Doctor whirred around and, for the first time, properly looked into the eyes of his captor. Laughing eyes. Eyes that held more secrets than his own. Eyes that he never expected to be hiding under the cover of a police hat. Eyes that he was mentally kicking himself for not placing earlier.

"River?" He asked hesitantly and received a throaty laugh in response. "River Song did you just chase me across five countries, commandeer an MI5 squad and fabricate reasons for my arrest just so that you could make a really bad joke?"

"Possibly." River smirked with that familiar mischievous twinkle in her eyes. `"In my defence: I was bored. Also, you wouldn't answer your phone."

The Doctor groaned as he felt her twist her cuffs. "So, fancy escaping and putting ourselves on the 'most wanted' list for a few weeks?" She murmured into his ear and he smiled despite himself, wondering what in the world he'd done for entertainment before he'd had the misfortune of falling in love with a mad woman in possession of a pair of handcuffs.

**Reviews really mean the world to me. **


	128. Alone Time

Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Twenty-Eight: Alone Time

**Disclaimer: **Don't own diddly squat.

_**Author's Note: Thank you to everyone for all your support through the years. This is another short chapter while I try to get back into the swing of writing again and hopefully I shall get a full-length one out soon. This is a late series 6 Doctor and an older River. Enjoy… **_

"Well that was…" The Doctor sighed heavily as he looked across the bed to where River lay. "I mean for me that definitely was… I mean if it was for you." He finished uncertainly.

"It certainly was, my love." River grinned as she leaned across to kiss him on the cheek. "Although somehow I feel we should be being more daring to make the most of our time without the kids."

The Doctor smirked as he thought how strange this nickname was. Her parents, her best- friends and the people she'd spent her whole life with had, some time ago, become affectionately known as 'the kids' (not that either one of them would ever admit this to Amy or Rory). They'd decide to visit planets that would interest the kids (because the two of them had seen them all before), they'd organise activities that would keep the kids from squabbling (they really were hard work) or else they'd take bets on which one of the kids would mispronounce something first (River always bet on Amy while the Doctor always bet on Rory). It was a strange but interesting life: the Doctor, River Song and the kids.

"What exactly did you have in mind?" The Doctor asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh I don't know." River sighed deeply. "I just feel like we should be walking around naked, having sex on every surface- y'know, making the most of the freedom." River laughed deeply and the Doctor felt himself blush. Even now, after all this time, she still knew how to get to him.

"Well as wonderful as that would be it does sound slightly exhausting." The Doctor laughed. "I mean I'm not exactly nine hundred anymore."

"Ah, don't I know it." River gave a forced deep sigh. "Remind me to pay a visit to your younger self sometime soon."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" The Doctor asked quickly, his eyebrows raised in offence.

"Oh nothing, nothing." River laughed. "I just thought that I could do with a work-out, that's all."

"You what?" The Doctor gasped and River giggled hysterically. "Well that's it. Come on."

The Doctor stood up and motioned to the door but River just grabbed her side and rolled on the bed in fits of silent laughter as the sight of him standing just in his socks, pants and braces (which were attached to his beautiful greying y-fronts) was just too much for her.

"I mean it. We are doing this." The Doctor continued as he began lunging forwards in an attempt to stretch his muscles. "There is nothing my younger self can do that I can't." He announced.

"Oh really?" River gasped in between giggles.

"You better believe it." The Doctor grinned as he bent down and (with a tiny bit of difficulty) hoisted a squealing River over his shoulder and out of the bedroom.

That'd show her.

**Review? Please? **


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